Remind me again.. how many of us are NOT finding out gender till the birth? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 42 Old 12-20-2010, 06:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's exciting to see everyone finding out boy/girl now......

 

But I kind of feel the need to connect/share with those who are waiting.  What they are thinking, how they are planning.. and that they are indeed hanging in here waiting with me LOL :)!

 

This is our first time waiting (4th pregnancy) so it's also kind of 'new' to me.. I've always known the gender before now in previous pregnancies.

 

We also aren't having a U/S this time (lay midwife.. she doesn't/can't do them) at all either.. which I've always had at least one, if not numerous ones.  So we have no gender, and no visual for this baby (good thing it was a early mover, and is very active.. so I do at least feel connected that way!).


Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#2 of 42 Old 12-20-2010, 08:28 PM
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count me in. didn't find out with the first and won't this time. it's one of life's few mysteries, yk?

 

there's really no preparation where you need to know gender IMO. i mean, i might buy a new wrap and a glider this time but that's about it. DH can run to target for some white onesies and dipes once the kid is born but what else would you need?

 

i gotta say, although i try not to be judgmental, an aquaintence of mine has now has like, 3 elective ultrasounds to determine gender (each time they go, they can't determine) and it really astonishes me. i mean, i do ultrasounds if medically necessary but why give up drinking, take all these vitamins, etc...etc... only to subject your body to unnecessary testing that has really not been proven 100% safe....especially those 3d "just for fun" places? recent studies are even proving cellular damage. i'd rather skip the U/S and have a glass of wine.

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#3 of 42 Old 12-20-2010, 08:59 PM
 
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I am not going to find out until the birth either. With my first, DH really didn't want to know, but I did. I promised him that the next time (This baby) we would wait. 

 

I am having a U/S though...my doctor wants to make sure there is only one and that growth is right on. With DD they did a scheduled Section telling me the the baby was measuring 12 + lbs and there was no way I could give birth to her on my own. It was my first, so I was scared. I now have a midwife, and she will check growth, but my daughter was only 9 lbs at birth and was no where near the size they thought she was, so this time I am doing a VBAC waterbirth. 

 

We are going to instruct the tech not to tell us gender...so we will see how that goes. 

 

Other than that...we are waiting and are holding a little contest within the family to guess the gender/size/DOB and will offer a little prize at the end to the person who was the closest. 

 


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#4 of 42 Old 12-20-2010, 09:03 PM
 
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#5 of 42 Old 12-20-2010, 09:04 PM
 
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We are not finding out the sex. We're not getting an ultrasound at all, I'm not attached to one or the other and the heavily gender-based clothes annoy me. (I'm talking about army fatigues or clothes with weapons for boys that are newborn onesies, things like that. Seriously? It's a baby!)

Besides, I think it will be exciting to be surprised. There was much charting and planning that went into this pregnancy, some things should be completely a surprise, KWIM?


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#6 of 42 Old 12-20-2010, 09:08 PM
 
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right there with you ladies.

 

didn't find out with our first either.  was such a lovely surprise and dh was so tickled (still talks about how much he loved being surprised and is very much looking forward to it this time).

 

i had very strong girl vibes with dd (and i was right).  not really having any feelings either way this time.  maybe as time passes i will.

 

not doing anything special to prepare.  if we have another girl, we're all set and a friend of mine who has a one-year-old son recently told me that they decided to not have anymore, so has offered me anything i'd like.  hooray!  also, all the newborn clothes i had for dd are gender neutral (since we didn't know what she was going to be) and can be worn by a boy.  all the major gear we have is also gender neutral.

 

there are a few new things i'd like, but i'd like them whether we have a girl or a boy.

 

go team green!

 

 

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Originally Posted by ceriserenee View Post

Other than that...we are waiting and are holding a little contest within the family to guess the gender/size/DOB and will offer a little prize at the end to the person who was the closest. 

 

 

oh, how fun!  we had a due date pool with dd.  $5 per guess.  my nephew, who came the closest, ended up winning $140 (not too shabby).  he actually ended up buying things for dd with it (such a sweetheart).  we also had a middle name pool.  we had a boy's first and middle name picked out and a girl's first name (but no middle name).  so, we told people the first name and asked them for middle name suggestions (they could suggest as many as they liked).  if we used one of them, the person who suggested it won a prize.  we ended up using one and a friend of mine won.  her prize was some gift cards to some of her favorite shops.


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#7 of 42 Old 12-20-2010, 09:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yay I'm not alone..

 

and yes...... we get the crazy looks for not finding out when we have 'so many' of one gender already lol.  Oh well..... I'm trying to pick up a few extra newborn things that are either gender neutral and/or maybe a few frilly pink things.

 

But yeah I'm one of those that honestly doesn't have a clue what the baby will be.. so it'll be a total surprise for me no instincts here whatsoever LOL!

 

The only major difference in this pregnancy so far is I'm cold.. err uh able to get cold anyway.. all three of the others I was hot (middle one I was extremely hot.. that one turned out to be a hot natured kid and still is).  This time I'm wearing undershirts and/or wool sweaters LOL!  But then I had all fall babies before.. and this one's in the spring.. so that's part of it but still DH would be cold under the covers and I'd either be naked with no covers or barely want a sheet ha.. not this time that's for sure.


Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#8 of 42 Old 12-20-2010, 09:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh and yeah.. the few things I want/need are more just in general baby needs.. not gender dependent.


Rae 27 DH Phillip 32 married 11-22-03
DS1 Nathaniel b. 11-21-04, DS2 Ian b. 9-8-06, DS3 Samuel b. 10-1-08, DS4 Peter b. 5-24-11
 

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#9 of 42 Old 12-21-2010, 03:20 AM
 
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Not finding out here, either.  I do have an ultrasound (well, two, actually - I have to go back for another try at a spine shot. sigh), but the policy at the hospital is they won't use ultrasound for sex determination or photo taking (they say it's reduces time per appointment, not sure if that is really the rationale or not).  It's convenient for me because I really don't want to know, I like the surprise.  But if the opportunity was available, I might not be able to resist the temptation to find out :P  However, despite that, it makes me mad because I am sure the techs often observe sex without trying (I totally know there was a 'money shot' the other day, I could see bum and up between his/her legs perfectly - I couldn't tell gender from that quick glance but I bet the tech could!!), and therefore they have medical information about me that they are not sharing.  I don't like rules or authority much, I guess!

 

No special prep.  I am kind of thinking (and have all along, even before pregnancy) that this will be boy #3, in which case we need nothing for years cause we have a full stock of every size and style of clothing imaginable.  If it's a girl, we will be fine on sleepers and stuff but I imagine we will be looking for hand me downs and thrift store finds as she gets older.  Lots of family members who love to scour for deals, so we will have plenty of help filling her dresser!

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#10 of 42 Old 12-21-2010, 04:30 AM
 
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Not finding out here either & no ultrasounds booked at this point.  We didn't find out with our first & I loved the surprise.  I just wish I had more mother's intuition about the gender!


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#11 of 42 Old 12-21-2010, 06:56 AM
 
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I am not finding out the gender.  This is my 3rd child and DH and I are totally cool with waiting.  Both our families are these super planners and with the first two pregnancies they were quite upset we didn't find out.  My older sister is paranoid I will have a boy- she has two boys and they are wild - so she worries each time if I have a boy and it could behave better.  I SO don't have the energy to deal with that but she asked if I could give her the contact for the genetic counselor who gave us our CVS results so she could call and find out the gender.  Hilarious- ummm... I don't think so.... HIPPAA laws. 

 

DH's family is on the West coast and we are on the East coast so it is really exciting and call with announcement of both gender and the baby's arrival.  With my first I had total girl vibes and with DD2 I had a lot of boy vibes but I haven't had any vibes with this baby.  I had a lot of dreams early on in pregnancy and those were all girl dreams... I love the anticipation of waiting. 

 

I have had 2 u/s already and will probably have one at 39 weeks if I go that long because of my age.  I tend to bond with baby with all the kicks and thumps.

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#12 of 42 Old 12-21-2010, 08:57 AM
 
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I'm not finding out either.  I love irritating people that way, lol.  We found out with DD and that was nice, but I'm really looking forward to being surprised this time.  We don't have any ultrasounds planned either, unless the midwife feels one is necessary later.

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#13 of 42 Old 12-21-2010, 09:44 AM
 
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I'm not.  I actually like when other people do it though.  heehee

 

I have two girls. I found out with Dylan but didn't have an ultrasound with Ava so I couldn't have found out if I wanted to.

 

I am having a u/s this time but we've decided not to find out. It's driving everyone crazy.  Last time they had to go with it but this time they don't understand why if I am getting an u/s I just don't take a peek.

 

As far as not knowing goes: i thought knowing was more special for the pregnancy itself but not knowing was more special at birth if that makes sense. We liked not knowing better but I totally understand why anyone would want to find out


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#14 of 42 Old 12-21-2010, 09:53 AM
 
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I didn't find out, had the u/s yesterday where we could :) I liked not knowing the first time, and it made discussions with folks a lot easier. I'd rather not hear the 'oh boys are so hard! or you must be freaked out to have a girl!' (which I am, but still wouldn't mind one ! :) ) or whatever else stupid people say :)

 

the only annoying thing is, is coming up w/ two sets of names - and it seems we have trouble deciding if gender is in the air. Z remained just 'Z' (We called him that in the womb) for a full day before we finally decided on a name. We both are much easier with girl names, if its a girl we'll have no trouble, another boy and it will even be more difficult than Z! but oh well. not a good reason to find out :)


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#15 of 42 Old 12-21-2010, 10:37 AM
 
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me!  We did have a 20 week U/S and based on a few things the tech said, I think she could tell...(which makes me think it's a boy...although I already had boy suspicions...after having girl vibes;) but we love the surprise.  It's our 3rd and we really don't need much for this baby...not finding out is driving others crazy, but I like it. (the surprise...not intentionally irritating other people.ROTFLMAO.gif)


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#16 of 42 Old 12-21-2010, 06:19 PM
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with dd i told the perinatologist at the 20 week U/S that i did NOT want to know gender at all.

he proceeded and described how each organ was positioned etc...and at one point casually said "and there's the cervix...." to which i FREAKED out and jumped down his throat because i did NOT want to know. turns out he was talking about MY cervix, not the baby's. oops.


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#17 of 42 Old 12-21-2010, 10:38 PM
 
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We are on team green so far and I'd be happy to stay there. DP is curious about the gender though so if there's a chance we'll probably know. We have another growth US coming up, am hoping that they just focus on the growth and dont bother with between the legs. Anyway they seem to have a a high number of wrong guesses in here so I dont think I could trust whatever they'd say.

 

 


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#18 of 42 Old 12-22-2010, 06:10 AM
 
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We're not getting an US so we're not finding out- this is our third and also our first time not knowing!  I love it.  I would actually be very dissapointed to find out during the pregnancy, I just have a very different feeling this time, I'm so looking forward to catching this baby and declare the gender myself!


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#19 of 42 Old 12-22-2010, 06:36 AM
 
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I have already warned my husband not to shout it out at the birth. He did last time and I was irrtiated but couldn't stay so because he did it out of pure excitement. I want to look and see at my own leisure. 


Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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#20 of 42 Old 12-23-2010, 08:25 PM
 
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We're not finding out the baby's gender this time around either. I found out with DS, but not with DD. Both DH and I really loved having the surprise (and I admit, it was really fun to see how much it bothers some people), and we're happy to wait it out again.

 

We're not really planners, and since we co-sleep we don't decorate a nursery. I already have boy, girl, and gender neutral clothing, so it's not like we'll have to run out as soon as the baby is born to make sure s/he is dressed "properly." As far as names, we have a girl name we really like, and we're totally unsure about a boy name, but that doesn't make much of a difference since we don't like having a set name before the birth anyway. Can you tell we are just really laid-back about this whole baby thing? LOL. The only thing I need are some newborn CDs, since I sold all of my stash from DD, but shopping for cloth diapers is always fun so I don't mind doing that. 

 

Sometimes I don't feel very attached to this baby, but I think mostly it's the feeling of normalcy vs. the anxiety that I experienced when I was pregnant with my first. I think not knowing the gender helps me to just chill out about the pregnancy and not obsess over things as much as I did with DS (like, sure we saw a penis but what if there was a uterus too and we just didn't see it!?!?!) I don't know if finding out the gender beforehand would help us feel more attached, but I doubt it at this point. I think we're mostly just excited for May to come so the baby can be born and I can be free from this pregnancy funk! LOL.

 

I don't regret finding out the gender with DS, since I was in a much different place then than I am now. I'm very happy to wait until the birth to know exactly who the baby is--I just don't see a need to find out sooner than that.

 

Okay--I think I win the award for the most random, rambling post. Hooray!


 
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#21 of 42 Old 12-23-2010, 08:33 PM
 
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I won't find out til the birth - my pregnancies are unassisted.. but my dreams are always right on the money.  My last preg/birth was unassisted, yet my dreams told me well in advance it was a boy.  So far, the jury is still out!


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#22 of 42 Old 12-26-2010, 01:04 PM
 
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We're not finding out. We found out w/ our first two, but I'm really looking forward to the surprise! After my u/s for DS2, I was told he was a girl, so I was surprised anyway! I had purchased all girl clothes for him, so I'm set either way. I'm getting girl vibes, though. I have a u/s scheduled for a few weeks when I'll be 22 or 23 weeks. 


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#23 of 42 Old 12-26-2010, 11:29 PM
 
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My husband and I had opposite philosophies on this - I didn't want to know, he did.  I convinced him to go along with me and not find out at our one and only ultrasound, but I had to make a deal.  I told him that he could catch the baby (or take him/her from the midwife) and be the first to discover the gender.  It will be great to hear "It's a boy/girl" from him.  

Someone else mentioned this earlier, but I'll second it - I am also annoyed by the gender specific clothing. I may dress him/her in 'opposite' gender clothing just to be a rebel.  

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#24 of 42 Old 12-30-2010, 10:20 AM
 
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It's going to be a surprise for us, too.  We are just so stoked to be having a baby that we are not concerned about gender.  Everybody who we say this to that is over a certain age says, "But how are you going to decorate the nursery?"  To this I reply, "We don't have room for one!"  I am a feminist and gender equality advocate and I don't want to dress my baby in either pink and frilly or blue and camo.  I say, when the kid is old enough to pick out her/his own clothes, then so be it! 

 

That being said, I keep referring to the baby in feminine pronouns and my DH secretly wants a boy.  Ah, best intentions...

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#25 of 42 Old 12-30-2010, 11:14 AM
 
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we are waiting until the birth! very excited... i don't have a positive feeling with this one. i think its a girl, but find myself saying "he" also!

 

xo


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#26 of 42 Old 01-12-2011, 11:52 AM
 
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We didn't find out either!   

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#27 of 42 Old 01-12-2011, 07:23 PM
 
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i've decided to indicate on the roster those of us who are waiting until birth to find out the sex.  thought it would be nice to be able to see those who have decided not to find out and those who just haven't announced it yet.

 

it reads "stork-suprise.gif (until birth)".  if i've missed anyone, please let me know.

 

-sam


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#28 of 42 Old 01-12-2011, 10:39 PM
 
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We're also waiting to find out. No ultrasounds planned. Last time we waited as well and I really liked that!


DD 5/25/09 :
5/22/11
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#29 of 42 Old 01-13-2011, 09:40 AM
 
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We're going to be surprised again this time.  Though, I REALLY want to find out with this one...  the suspense is killing me!

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#30 of 42 Old 01-13-2011, 10:29 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mija y mijo View Post

We're going to be surprised again this time.  Though, I REALLY want to find out with this one...  the suspense is killing me!


Yup..that's me too LOL...I really wanted to find out this time..very UN-like me but, in the end, baby knows best - and (s)he wants the mystery not to be revealed quite yet ;)
 

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