Friend due at same time, hired MY MW! - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-31-2010, 10:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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SO I talked a friend into an out-of-hospital birth. I was thrilled, except that she is due within days of me-less than a week-and she hired my midwife. I am perturbed to say the least. I think I am just freaking over a substitute midwife delivering baby, instead of someone I have built a relationship with. What to do? Am I being emotional, or is this a legitimate rant? TIA! BTW we live in an area with an abundant midwife supply :)


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Old 12-31-2010, 10:12 PM
 
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DDCC - I can't believe that your MW actually took on a client due in the same week as you! I thought that they didn't do that?


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Old 12-31-2010, 11:20 PM
 
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any chance that she is a first time mom? or someone has a high chance of going over/before their dd? 


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Old 12-31-2010, 11:47 PM
 
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DDCC--

 

(my, my...I've got a May 2001 baby--they grow so fast!)

 

Anyhoo, did she know who your midwife was?  I mean, have you been speaking glowingly of your midwife to your friend and she thought it was a recommendation or was it a complete coincidence?

 

Talk to your midwife about a backup plan if you both go into labor at the same time.  Is it whoever calls first?  And, TBH, most babies do not come on their due date...there is a 2 week window on either side of that that it is considered normal.  In fact, none of my babies came on their due dates...first was due May 15, 2001--she came May 19, 2001; second was due July 14, 2003--he came June 29, 2003; and the third was due April 15, 2009--she was born April 12, 2009 (TBH, I was a bit disappointed when she didn't come on the 9th--just to keep the pattern).  And, the midwives I saw during pregnancy were not the ones to deliver the babies--all hospital births, so I got whoever was on the floor that day/night.  But I refused to deliver DS while scary-witch-lady-midwife was on duty.

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Old 01-01-2011, 03:24 AM
 
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If your midwife works solely on her own and doesn't share her practice, then it's a little weird to take on two women due inside the same week unless one has a history of late/early deliveries, complication or has needs/requests of a scheduled cesarean. Also (and I'm sure you know this) a due date is an average and a rough estimate at best, NOT an exact science. Despite the fact that you're due close together, there is not that huge a risk that you'll be delivering in the same few hours span where the midwife will be torn between you. :)

 

On the plus side: you have the same midwife! That's a really awesome experience to share with a friend, particularly if she's a first-timer!

You'd be surprised how well midwives handle that kind of pull, and balance it very well, even if  you're both in labour at once. You don't need much "care" in the early stages and she can come in and out checking on you, helping you out, until it gets serious and she has to stay. Chances are that part won't last days on end, which means that unless you and your friend end up giving birth within 1 or 2.5 hours of each other on the same day you're probably in the clear. :)

 

This reminds me of my experience with my first child, actually:

When I was pregnant with my daughter I lived on a rural farming island where we had no doctors that delivered babies: the entire birthing population was serviced by ONE midwife. ONE! If you had complications, required a transfer or requested a hospital birth you were air-lifted to the big city hospital and she did not come with you (for obvious reasons). It was home birth or birth center: our local "hospital" was a clinic and our "maternity ward" was a single, big quilted bed in a private room. It was a home birth out of home for all intents and purposes! ;)  All of this is just to establish for you how rural this was, and how most births went... but the point was our single care provider was spread pretty thin! Most of us had home-births which meant driving all over the 25-miles of island into very rural areas that were largely unpaved farmland to flit from mom-to-be to mom-to-be in time to catch all the babies.

I was due in the first week of August in 2003, and this one afternoon I met another pregnant woman around my size out back at the midwife office and started chatting... turns out she was due five days after me! Then three other women came in who were ALSO due in the first two weeks of August! By the end of our hour-long, impromptu get-together we had grown to 8 women all due in the same 15 days. There was a moment of "uh-oh" as we all realized what that meant.

When I went into labour on August 5th I was the first woman of the month to birth. I laboured two solid days (44 hours) before giving birth, during which time the midwife received three emergency pages from other women going into labour. I delivered first, but she ended up leaving my side within 40 minutes to catch babies non-stop for seven straight days and didn't miss a single birth. Now that's dedication. ;) 

(For the record, she went seven weeks without stopping that summer, delivering something insane like 20 babies in a row before calling in an off-island midwife to cover her practice for a month and go on a loooooonnnnngggg vacation. After that she finally added another two midwives to her practice so she'd never do THAT again!).


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Old 01-01-2011, 07:43 AM
 
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My midwife with Ava had two other women (over a 3 hour radius) in labor when I was and it was very stressful.  None of us were due at the same time, though.  It just weirdly happened that way.  I don't know what else to say besides I hope it all works out for you.  If you are 2 weeks early and she is 2 weeks late the babies will be born pretty much a month apart. hug2.gif


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Old 01-01-2011, 08:01 AM
 
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It's not unusual for a solo midwife to take on two clients due in the same week. Most midwives won't take on more than x number of clients at a time, but it is highly unlikely that you and your friend will be in labor at the same time- although it is possible! If your mw hadn't taken on your friend, she most likely would have taken on another client anyway. Most solo midwives have a back up just in case, and it is always a good idea to get to know them.

 

ETA- I agree with PP- even if you and your friend are labor at the same time, your MW will likely be able to care for both of you. I am assuming she has assistants to help her out! Before we found out about my daughter's diagnosis (which is incompatible with long on call hours), I used to work as a MW in a busy homebirth/BC practice  and have had plenty of occasions where I had more than one mom in labor, and I can only recall one time that I had to call in one of my partners.


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Old 01-01-2011, 08:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This is my second, with DD1 I went into labor on my due date. This will be her 3rd. Wit her her first she went nine days past EDD, with her second, one day past EDD. So maybe early this go around...I think I was raving and probably could have been taken as a recommendation. LTP: She was dedicated! I am hoping she is just as dedicated. I guess it isn't all awful, I was just feeling a little crowded. And, my MW has a free to use birth pool, which is awesome. But I got to thinking if I have to have this baby in the freaking tiny tub because it is in use, I am not sure I'll want to share. Thanks all, I certainly feel better. If nothing else, perhaps I could have an unplanned UC :)


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Old 01-01-2011, 02:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbell203 View Post

 And, my MW has a free to use birth pool, which is awesome. But I got to thinking if I have to have this baby in the freaking tiny tub because it is in use, I am not sure I'll want to share.


Well that would definitely be a bummer! I hope you get your birth pool


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Old 01-01-2011, 07:50 PM
 
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sorry don't really know how to answer but didn't want to read and not reply here mw's are on the nhs and have many pregnant women at various stages of pregnancy some home birth but most hospital and it will be unlikely for me to have my mw for my birth as i didn't with my last 3

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