Sorry I have been offline for a while, things have been a bit hectic, and I am just starting to come back around on the forums again.
Some of you know my story, but here is the quick run down:
I live in Phoenix, AZ with my husband and three year old, but my husband is from Peru and we decided to travel to Peru to give birth here. (I am currently here) We found a Birthing Center here that allows a home experience Waterbirth VBAC and his family has maids and nannies to help out with DD while I am in the last stages of pregnancy and postpartum.
Right now, I am having a little bit of a hard time because here the C-section rate is very high, 85% or so, and was very happy to find a midwife/ObGyn that believed in natural birth and has had 3 HBAC herself and has delivered two of her three grandchildren in HBAC's as well.
However, I have met with her a few times, and sadly, don't have a connection at all to her. She is not really as nice as my midwife in Phoenix was, and I have been meeting with Doulas, but am not connecting with any here either....while in Phoenix I connected with my Midwife very well, her apprentice and a doula on her team...This midwife is not mean really, she is just very doctor like in a lot of ways, and comments a lot on my being overweight, because here in Peru, no one is plus sized...it is extremely rare here and just being very overweight gives you an automatic c-section. And she also comments a lot about my daughter being huge (She was 9lbs even on her due date) which I think is also a little ridiculous as I have watched women give birth at home in their bathtub to babies weighing 11 lbs +.
Now I feel as though I don't have any other options and don't really know what to do.
I found a doctor who is considered to be the most open minded when it comes to natural birth, in all of Lima. I went to one appointment, where he told me that If I happened to be one of the lucky 2% of people who's babies were able to get into the right postition for birth, then I might be able to try for a VBAC, but he really didn't understand why I just didn't want to get another C-section and make things easy on myself.
My husbands family is in the same place, they can't understand why I don't just take "The Easy Way" we did rent "The business of being Born" but they have not watched it yet. The good thing is that my husband is with me all the way! He explains things to them and supports me and our choice to have a VBAC wholeheartedly!
So, traditional doctors and hospitals here are not the way to go for me, and this midwife really is my only option. I even considered an unassisted HBAC, but I live with my inlaws, so it would be very uncomfortable to labor among them and give birth in my mother-in-laws bathtub.
So my question is, has anyone ever not bonded very well with their midwife, and not had a doula to help them either, and still there birth went great?
Sorry this is so long...but I am really looking for some hope amid all the discouragement here.