Anyone else not having a shower? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 03-22-2011, 07:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So, I had a shower for DD and DS1. I'm pretty much set up for either sex as far as clothing. We have some gear from the first two (crib/co-sleeper, pack n play, bouncey seat, high chair), but there's a few items we'd still like/need. We bought the swing from consignment. I guess I'm just kind of blue because I thoroughly enjoy the third trimester pampering of a shower. I may get DH to send me and a friend to a mani/pedi just to get away and enjoy the pampering time. I could totally use the pedi especially, as my feet are no longer reachable.

 

Anyone feel me? Maybe I'm just being a brat...


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#2 of 22 Old 03-22-2011, 07:23 AM
 
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We're not and I'm very fine with it (I would have been happy with no shower for #2, either, but we were suprirsed with one, we didn't see it coming at all :P).  The only shower I would love at this point is one to stock my deep freeze with casseroles etc - I mentioned to DH that if his parents brought up the idea of a shower (they would be the most likely to have one, just for family - that's what we had last time around), this would be perfect - but I think shower is just off everyone's radar.

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#3 of 22 Old 03-22-2011, 09:17 AM
 
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I didn't have one for #1 and won't for this one either, at least as far as I know. I received so many handmedowns with #1 (still have) that I was good to go for triplets! Still thankful I only had 1.

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#4 of 22 Old 03-22-2011, 10:18 AM
 
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Not having a shower either... I'm uncomfortable being the center of attention and receiving gifts and having to ooh and ahh over them... plus I think shower (bridal, baby, you name it) games are stupid.

 

Also, we don't have much space in our apartment, and we're doing a pretty crunchy minimalist thing for the baby, so all those extra things that people buy "just because they're so cute" or because "you'll need this, you'll see..."... would drive me 100% batty.

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#5 of 22 Old 03-22-2011, 10:23 AM
 
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had one with dd, but won't with this one (unless someone surprises me, which is pretty doubtful).  i don't mind not having one, because honestly, i hate being the center of attention.  i know there are people who will buy us stuff, so i have set up a registry at amazon for those looking for ideas (although i know they'll probably just buy clothes -- especially after baby is born and we find out the sex). 

 

i hear you on the pampering becca.  that would feel great right about now.  my birthday is two weeks before my due date, perhaps i'll put the word out that i would like a trip to the spa.


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#6 of 22 Old 03-22-2011, 03:46 PM
 
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I was not going to have a shower (I don't need anything), but some friends from our new church asked if I wanted one. I loved the party, good vibes part of my shower last time. So we are going to have a shower for charity. Mennonite Central Committee does newborn kits to give to babies in need and we will be putting some together.


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#7 of 22 Old 03-22-2011, 03:50 PM
 
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I am having a shower that isn't really a shower. It's a party, with a registry, and I'm making cupcakes where some have blue sprinkles and some have pink sprinkles. But it's really just a big party with all our friends and I'm making a ton of food and trying to get them to drink all the hard liquor in the house. We are also making sure there is no pressure at all for people to buy presents if they don't want to.


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#8 of 22 Old 03-22-2011, 04:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elonwy View Post

I am having a shower that isn't really a shower. It's a party, with a registry, and I'm making cupcakes where some have blue sprinkles and some have pink sprinkles. But it's really just a big party with all our friends and I'm making a ton of food and trying to get them to drink all the hard liquor in the house. We are also making sure there is no pressure at all for people to buy presents if they don't want to.


sounds like my kind of shower.  exactly how i'd do it (if i were having one).

 


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#9 of 22 Old 03-22-2011, 05:04 PM
 
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I had a very nice shower with my first baby, but none after that.  I got a lot of gifts after the birth of my first girl too (my third child), which was very nice.  We certainly don't need a lot for this child, so I'm sure there will be no shower, but I think it would be nice to have some sort of celebration after the birth where extended family can meet the new baby.


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#10 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 12:17 AM
 
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no shower for me.


Momma to DS 1, age 8 and rainbow baby DS2 4-21-11.
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#11 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 06:27 AM
 
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Not doing a shower even though this will be my first girl. Don't have any friends or family where I live now so it would be a bit difficult. With my last baby, I was in Romania and they just don't do that. They gave me some money and gifts but in there own time and with my first, they gave me one after baby was here at my church. It was pretty boring, but at least they gave baby some stuff. Oh well.


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#12 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 09:22 AM
 
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I'm not having one either - even though this is our first baby, I'm 40 and DH is 38, and I feel weird asking for gifts. I feel like showers are for youngsters who don't have the resources or are just getting settled ... at least traditionally.

 

I also hate being the center of attention. I was that girl who actually didn't really want a wedding, so a shower with silly games is not my thing.

 

Just yesterday a friend gave me a great idea for gifts -- to have a book shower instead. After the baby comes, we'll invite people over and suggest they bring their favorite children's book. We don't have any, so it's a great way to start a library for her, and avoids the problem of having too much clothing and "stuff" that she'll only use for a short while.

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#13 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 09:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carrot View Post

Just yesterday a friend gave me a great idea for gifts -- to have a book shower instead. After the baby comes, we'll invite people over and suggest they bring their favorite children's book. We don't have any, so it's a great way to start a library for her, and avoids the problem of having too much clothing and "stuff" that she'll only use for a short while.

 

this is a great idea.  a bunch of people in my family actually did this when i was pregnant with my first.  each sent their favorite children's book with a really nice note to the baby written inside.  now it's nice when we read them (dd is almost four) we read the inscription first and i tell her how so and so sent it to her before she was born.

 

i hate being the center of attention too.  the shower thrown for me when i was pregnant with dd was actually traumatizing.  not only do i hate being the center of attention, i HATE surprises.  the shower was a complete surprise and really through me for a loop.  i think i was shaking for a while before i could actually relax and have some kind of fun.
 

 


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#14 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 10:18 AM
 
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I am pretty anti-baby shower (for me, though I admit I don't like attending ones for others either!) so I didn't have one for #1 (though was surprised by two very unconventional ones that were sort of okay - one at work, so short, and more like a bday cake type meeting, and one that the guys I play disc with threw for me so that was also funny and just an excuse to eat some food after a frisbee game!) I am kind of anti-shower since
a) I don't have many female friends, don't like gender-specific events since I am thrown in with my own gender when I honestly usually feel more comfortable hanging out with guys
b) am anti-materialistic and you really *don't* need much for a baby, and wanted to keep our stuff at a minimum, and buy used most of the time
c) don't like being the center of attention

so I am pretty sure I am safe from any surprise ones for #2 for sure, which is good, since we *really* don't need anything.

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#15 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 10:48 AM
 
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I'm not having a shower this time, and I'm perfectly fine with that. Honestly, while I truly appreciate them, I don't particularly enjoy them for myself. I don't mind going to someone elses, but I just don't really like being the center of attention. I've had my share of them in the past, and have gotten some nice things but also many things that I didn't need and never used. I'm to a point now where I can honestly tell people I really don't need/want anything. One of my favorite showers was a freezer meal shower with my 7th, but even that I feel I don't need this time. I've got plenty of older helpers who can plan a menu, drive and do grocery shopping, and cook/clean while I'm baby-mooning. I am making some freezer meals ahead of time just because I want to.

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#16 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 10:51 AM
 
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Hehe. You guys are pretty much describing all the reasons why I decided to throw our party the way I am . Everyone we know is invited, there will be no gift opening time, no games, no me as the center of attention, just friends, food, booze (for them) and hanging out. Our wedding was a very similar experience. 


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#17 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 12:27 PM
 
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I caved and now my sister is throwing a brunch... joy. eyesroll.gif

 

I had to remind her (after she sent out the preliminary e-mail to myself and her sister-in-law, who's providing the party-space) that I'm on a pretty restricted diet (midwife told me to cut out starches/sugars, cut down on fats and dairy, PLUS all the normal pregnancy stuff), so bagels with cream cheese and lox was fine for everyone else, but I'd like to have something to eat too.

 

she also specifically said at the end of the e-mail "THIS IS NOT A SHOWER"... but I'm still kind of dreading it.

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#18 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 03:11 PM
 
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I had a shower with my first and a virtual book shower that one of my friends from where we lived in CA organized.  We have a huge family on both sides but they arent local and I still have babies r us gift cards from dd's shower (she's 3!)

 

This time I just have an amazon list and have asked for my mom to tell anyone who asks that we'd love books or savings bonds. 

 

We'll visit both of our families in the first 6 months and have parties to welcome baby in CA and NY. 

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#19 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 03:14 PM
 
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No shower here, but we have everything we need for this LO, unless it is a girl but we won't find that out for a few weeks now.  My first shower was a fiasco- my best friend dropped the ball and it didn't happen until DS was 3mo.  This time I think I may host a "baby welcome party" type thing when LO is a month old or else toss it in with DS's 2nd bday party (LO will be 2 mo)- just cooking for a bunch of friends & neighbors, kids of all ages or no-kid friends too.  I know family & friends will bring us all kinds of stuff and as others have said, I hate being the center of attention, the games are dumb and you can't drink (at least not like everyone else).  The one thing I hope for is people bringing me food!


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#20 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 04:59 PM
 
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I'm throwing my own shower because I didn't want to have something annoying, so I figured this way I could impose whatever I wanted on folks. :)

 

It's a gender neutral event, we have at least half guys coming and a few little kids (we don't know a lot of people who have kids yet). It's basically going to run like this:

 

  • Saturday afternoon
  • cocktails/wine for guests
  • appetizers/ general snacky foods
  • 'photo booth' to have your photo taken with my belly (we're photographers)
  • I had specialty fortune cookies made up with random fortunes for the baby
  • story book: Everyone writes a sentence in a book and we'll turn it into a story book for the baby, my husband will illustrate it
  • mobile art station: Bought a photo mobile and post card sized water colour paper for people to draw things on to create a custom mobile for the baby

 

 

That is all. Told folks that they could buy presents if they wanted, made a specific registry on myregistry.com, but no presents is totally fine. This is my first and I'm more about the celebration of pregnancy with friends then anything else. Plus I have no problem being the center of attention. ;)

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#21 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 05:41 PM
 
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no shower for me either and i do feel a little sad about it even though i agree with what most everyone else has said... don't really need anything since it's another girl, i know that nobody who would come to a shower would buy me anything that i do need/want so i'd just end up with more stuff (which i hate), and i really don't enjoy being the center of attention either... especially the gift opening part.  

 

i like the idea of a meet the baby party and we might do that although it would still mean more clothes and stuffed animals (oh, i hate the stuffed animals!!!).  but we'll probably get some even without a party.  

 

i love your party idea, realgeek... especially the story book!!  sounds like it will be a fun time :)


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#22 of 22 Old 03-23-2011, 05:59 PM
 
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Don't think I am having a shower either, unless the few people I know decide to throw one I am probably not.  We are a single income family so the one nice thing would be a diaper shower. I really like the idea of people making casseroles to put in the freezer! I have not heard of that before but that is a great idea.

 

I have a ton of clothes from my first little girl, just have to get them out of storage and wash and organize it all... yikes..

 

Also have to have my house packed by the first week of May several weeks before my due date, because we are moving in the summer June/July 100 miles from our current location, and I don't want to have to pack anything when the baby is here. My husband and his friends are going to be moving everything so I can concentrate on taking care of the baby and not have to worry.

 

I can totally relate to not wanting to be the center of attention, I am the same way...


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