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Old 04-08-2011, 09:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Man, it's getting close. I am still not having a ton of contractions but I finally got my capsules of Red Raspberry Leaf, so I'm hoping that starting that helps get my uterus all geared up for when they do start.

 

I've had to let go of some stuff on my To-Do list. It bothers me but not as much as I was stressing about getting it all done. I was able to get one of three loads of baby clothes done, so she at least has some stuff to wear and the only two must items left are the car seat and the bassinet. I'm sure I'll be putting those together and cleaning them this weekend.

 

 

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Old 04-08-2011, 10:19 AM
 
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Getting close indeed!

I don't *think* I've had any contractions (I had SUPER bad cramps for almost 20 years, so I've been told I might not even notice I'm in labor because it won't hurt as much as the menstrual cramps - um... lol? pinktongue.gif), but I've definitely had a few days where I've had this "this is getting closer and closer and could really happen at any time" feeling.

 

Sally - my DP had to let go of some stuff on his to-do list - I had to emphasize that we have to look at the big picture and prioritize, not obsess over details - super-tough to do sometimes!!!

 

Getting my maternity photos done this weekend (bikini/leg wax today - SO excited to have that hair gone - I can't even really see it, but I can FEEL it!)

GBS test on Monday (loading up on probiotics, cranberry and garlic this weekend!)

I have most of my birth supplies - still no clothes or diapers for the kiddo, but the blankets and a few other goodies have started to trickle in!

I feel like I've been making a lot of lists lately. smile.gif

 

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Old 04-08-2011, 10:51 AM
 
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SallyNichole - I'm right there with you on the carseat! I actually had a dream the other night that I went into labor and freaked out because we had no diapers, no car seat, and I only underwear I had for postpartum were thongs! Awesome. I woke up the next day ready to get stuff done!

 

PunkElmo - Have fun with your maternity pictures! Sounds like fun :)

 

This weekend is a the weekend I've been so looking forward to. My in-laws are coming over to help my DH paint the nursery. Once that is done we can finally put stuff away. A crib in our front room wasn't what I had in mind for the past few months!

 

However, sadly I'm just not as excited about it as I once was. We found out yesterday that my Grandpa's cancer has returned. He was all clear in the fall, but the latest test shows its back and spread possibly to his bones and spine. We won't know more until next week, but it is sad to take in. It makes me really want this little one to get here soon! I'd like my Grandpa to be able to meet his 7th great grandchild. I keep looking at my belly telling him he is welcome anytime. The painting and cleaning will all get done eventually. I don't even care at this point if its not done before he comes if that means he is here earlier.

 

Sorry to be a bit of a downer today. It's just what keeps going through my mind.

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Old 04-08-2011, 11:40 AM
 
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Just curious why the weekly chat thread is starting on a Friday and ending on a Thursday. Is it just the project manager in me that expects weeks to begin on Mondays? Not trying to nit pick, just interested. :)

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Old 04-08-2011, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by reelgeek View Post
Just curious why the weekly chat thread is starting on a Friday and ending on a Thursday. Is it just the project manager in me that expects weeks to begin on Mondays? Not trying to nit pick, just interested. :)

 

I'm not sure I just know that the last chat went through yesterday and the ocd in me couldn't let it go through days that weren't labeled. :)


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Originally Posted by ldeliberato View Post
We found out yesterday that my Grandpa's cancer has returned.
 

 

I'm so sorry. That's so sad. I hope you go early. I'm sure that your grandpa wants to meet the little one.



 

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Old 04-08-2011, 12:23 PM
 
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In TV/Film a lot of companies start the week on Sunday, so that is what I am used to. The rest of the world is always on a different schedule than I am :P

 

My husband has to go to a conference in Sydney three weeks after my due date and my cousin will be coming out to visit and help. Which is great, she and I are really close and though she doesn't have a ton of experience with new babies, I know she will chip in around the house and be a joy to be around. However, she is talking about bringing her younger sister, who I have not spent more than 3 hours with since I was about 14 years old. There's nothing wrong with her exactly, I just have no idea what she's going to be like. I feel like part of me is being a little selfish or weird about it, but then again, I don't want the drama. I dunno.


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Old 04-08-2011, 01:18 PM
 
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Whoever started the last thread decided to start it the first day of April.. so that's why it's different.

 

Ideliberato ((hug)).. hope your baby gets to meet great grandpa. I have had alot of friends go through things like this. I seems so profound how the circle of life repeats endlessly, in fairness.. good time, bad time.

 

 

elonwy, Id tell your cousin that you would really like if she could come alone.  My MIL and SIL did this with my first DD.  It wasnt supposed to be about a reunion for them, or a sightseeing vacation.  It was supposed to be about the new life that had entered the world and our new family.  YMMV, but Id try to make sure that you only had one visitor at a time.

 

AFM,

Things are going well.  Super tired.  Ready to meet this baby that has been inhabitating my body.  I cant believe there could still be over a month left.  That makes me want to eat a whole gallon of ice cream and cry :)  Ive got fun things planned these last weeks to help them go by, but they are still dragging.  Ive got pretty much everything done that needs to be. Ill be doing some freezer cooking this weekend and making my meals for during/ after birth.. plus some quick breads for the days following.  Im also thinking of making some chocolate cupcakes to freeze incase I dont feel like making the birthday cake during labor... so, all I have left to do is get DD some things for the birth.  I want to make her a huge basket of things to occupy her since we  will hopefully be here at home and it will drive me crazy if she is clingy to me during labor.

 

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Old 04-08-2011, 01:26 PM
 
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Ideliberato, Sending prayers for your Grandpa! 

 

Mamachef, You echo my thoughts exactly.  I can't believe there could still be a month left!  I hope it's not that long for either of us!  I can't wait to meet his baby!  Unlike you though, I have a ton left to do before I actually feel ready.  I guess I just don't care if I'm "ready" or not this time.

 

I'm feeling better today.  I can move, although I'm still taking Tylenol frequently in order to do so.  I don't need the codeine anymore, which was my main concern.  I'm grateful my cough is 95% better!  That's what kills the broken rib--even the smallest cough.  I HATE taking any kind of drug and can't believe I've been so dependent lately!

 

Tomorrow I am going to a seminar 8am-7pm.  I'll probably only make it through lunch, but we'll see.  A couple days ago, I didn't think I'd be able to go at all.

 

Next week, I finally plan to go see the hospital that I'll birth at.  Since I'll be 37 weeks, I guess it's time!  The other big things on my mind (other than work stuff) are getting DH to clean the van out really well, putting back the seat we removed, and installing the infant car seat.  I can't believe we'll have 4 carseats!  I hope DS4 will start buckling himself up.  It's not so easy getting to the back row to do it for him--especially when we put the other 2nd row seat back in. 

 

DH is out with the kids getting the boys dressers for their room.  Then we can take their pants and pajamas off the top shelf of the closet and let them be completely in charge of dressing themselves.  I think at 4 and 6, that is reasonable and would really help us out! 

 

One more random thing on my mind is taking our cat to the vet next week.  We finally made an appointment for Monday. He's been peeing on the carpet in several rooms for years (ugh!) and it's getting worse.  He jumped in the cradle for the new baby and urinated on the baby's blankets!  That's the last straw!  We should have paid more attention to this earlier.  We'll take him to the vet and see if there is a health problem or if this is likely behavioral.  We'll add another litterbox and move things around a bit to see if that makes a difference.  I hope we can stop this!  Anyone have any good luck in stoppping this with their cat?  I could use some hope!  He's about 15 years old and neutered.  There is one more cat in the house (his sister) and they've been together since birth.


Mom to 5 amazing kids! (DS8, DS7, DD4, DD2 and DS0)

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Old 04-08-2011, 01:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This wouldn't happen to be the ICAN in St.Louis, would it?

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Tomorrow I am going to a seminar 8am-7pm.  I'll probably only make it through lunch, but we'll see.  A couple days ago, I didn't think I'd be able to go at all.
 
 
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Old 04-08-2011, 02:53 PM
 
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One more random thing on my mind is taking our cat to the vet next week.  We finally made an appointment for Monday. He's been peeing on the carpet in several rooms for years (ugh!) and it's getting worse.  He jumped in the cradle for the new baby and urinated on the baby's blankets!  That's the last straw!  We should have paid more attention to this earlier.  We'll take him to the vet and see if there is a health problem or if this is likely behavioral.  We'll add another litterbox and move things around a bit to see if that makes a difference.  I hope we can stop this!  Anyone have any good luck in stoppping this with their cat?  I could use some hope!  He's about 15 years old and neutered.  There is one more cat in the house (his sister) and they've been together since birth.


My cat started peeing places not in the litter box and apparently she just really hated the type of litter she had. So we tried out a few, moved her litter box to be a little more prominent and then she only goes in there now. She howls at the baby room door because we are keeping that room closed and she's been getting used to not being allowed in there for a month and a half. I'm hoping that stops soon.

 

Mama Chef - I now understand the dates! Thanks for the clarity. :)

 

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Old 04-08-2011, 04:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SallyNichole View Post

Man, it's getting close. I am still not having a ton of contractions but I finally got my capsules of Red Raspberry Leaf, so I'm hoping that starting that helps get my uterus all geared up for when they do start.

 


If it's your first, you may not have any...I didn't have even one until I went into labor.  It still took me a bit to realize I was in labor as I just thought I was having abdominal cramps(I had dealt with them in the pregnancy), but after they kept coming regularly every 5-7 minutes I realized what it waslol.gif

 



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Getting close indeed!

I don't *think* I've had any contractions (I had SUPER bad cramps for almost 20 years, so I've been told I might not even notice I'm in labor because it won't hurt as much as the menstrual cramps - um... lol? pinktongue.gif), but I've definitely had a few days where I've had this "this is getting closer and closer and could really happen at any time" feeling.

 

Sally - my DP had to let go of some stuff on his to-do list - I had to emphasize that we have to look at the big picture and prioritize, not obsess over details - super-tough to do sometimes!!!

 

Getting my maternity photos done this weekend (bikini/leg wax today - SO excited to have that hair gone - I can't even really see it, but I can FEEL it!)

GBS test on Monday (loading up on probiotics, cranberry and garlic this weekend!)

I have most of my birth supplies - still no clothes or diapers for the kiddo, but the blankets and a few other goodies have started to trickle in!

I feel like I've been making a lot of lists lately. smile.gif

 

 

All of my contractions have always felt exactly like menstrual cramps...at first they were just uncomfortable and ramped up to being painful smile.gif  Maybe having had super painful menstrual cramps previously will help labor not to feel as painful...that would be nice(and I really did feel that my 2nd birth wasn't that painful overall-no meds involved either).

 

And this reminds me that I REALLY need a bikini wax soon.

 



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Originally Posted by ldeliberato View Post

 

However, sadly I'm just not as excited about it as I once was. We found out yesterday that my Grandpa's cancer has returned. He was all clear in the fall, but the latest test shows its back and spread possibly to his bones and spine. We won't know more until next week, but it is sad to take in. It makes me really want this little one to get here soon! I'd like my Grandpa to be able to meet his 7th great grandchild. I keep looking at my belly telling him he is welcome anytime. The painting and cleaning will all get done eventually. I don't even care at this point if its not done before he comes if that means he is here earlier.

 

Sorry to be a bit of a downer today. It's just what keeps going through my mind.


I'm sorry about your Grandpa.  I hope your little one arrives soon so he can meet the new baby!

 



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Originally Posted by MamaChef View Post

 

AFM,

Things are going well.  Super tired.  Ready to meet this baby that has been inhabitating my body.  I cant believe there could still be over a month left.  That makes me want to eat a whole gallon of ice cream and cry :)  Ive got fun things planned these last weeks to help them go by, but they are still dragging.  Ive got pretty much everything done that needs to be. Ill be doing some freezer cooking this weekend and making my meals for during/ after birth.. plus some quick breads for the days following.  Im also thinking of making some chocolate cupcakes to freeze incase I dont feel like making the birthday cake during labor... so, all I have left to do is get DD some things for the birth.  I want to make her a huge basket of things to occupy her since we  will hopefully be here at home and it will drive me crazy if she is clingy to me during labor.

 


I feel this way all ready and I'm only 34 weeks...so I could still have 2 months leftguilty.gif...hopefully this baby will follow its siblings and come by 40 weeks.

 

AFM:  Can I just sleep and do nothing for a few days.  I just have no energy, but I look around my house and see so much that needs to be done(mostly cleaning and organizing).  Ugh!  I feel like I'm nesting but without the productivity of it since I get so tired and sore so quickly.

 


S, mama to L(DD)-12/04, K(DS1)-12/06, C(DS2)-03/09 & B(DS3)-05/11

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Old 04-08-2011, 05:00 PM
 
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OMG another week closer!!! That was fast!!!

 

OMG I would LOVE a waxing!!!!!

 

ldeliberato Sorry about your news.  I just watched a great documentary short on hemp oil.  Really amazing!!

Don't know why that came out bold but I couldn't change it!

 

I would not be able to tolerate the cat peeing thing.  God bless ya'll for having the patience!!

 

I slept all day instead of working on the house my list or a drawing for school!  It was nice and now something greasy and bad for dinner.

I did wake up for a craniosacrial appt I had for 9am.  Got there about 10 till and waited till about 15 after!  I got a call from her at 9:30 I didn't answer I was too annoyed.  Her message was all it's 930 and I guess you're not showing up....our appt was for 9.  I left one back that I was there till 915 and she wasn't!!  Oh well nothing a little nachos or greasy fries and burger can't hep right now!!

 

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Old 04-08-2011, 06:52 PM
 
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Unfortunately, no.

It's a training seminar for my new marketing director.  I want to attend with her because it's a new program and I want to see what they tell her.  The people training her have been my business coaches for 10 years though, and my marketing director has been with me for 6 months in a different role (but she's awesome), so it won't be too big of a deal if I have to leave early.


Mom to 5 amazing kids! (DS8, DS7, DD4, DD2 and DS0)

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Old 04-08-2011, 06:56 PM
 
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I've been having uncomfortable contractions for a few days now.  I can't remember if they started getting so strong so soon with my other children.  Dare I hope that I could go into labor early this time?  Doubtful! 

 

Anyone else wondering when we'll see our first birth in this DDC?  I check every day wondering if it could be the day!  It will be so exciting!  Many of us are close to 37 weeks! 


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Old 04-09-2011, 05:37 AM
 
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I read everyone's posts, but don't have time to respond individually. Know that I think of you ladies all the time, even if I'm not on here!

 

THIRTY FIVE WEEKS!!! I WILL BE HOLDING MY SECOND SON IN 5-6 WEEKS!!!!! Can't believe it!

 

So, did I tell you girls I finally e-mailed my mom? I told her I was tired of being called fat and wide. She apologized and hasn't said anything negative since. Quite thankful for that!

 

I had a miserable night, and I know it is related to the fact that my sister (26) who is a drug addict in a treatment facility is being moved to a facility in Lancaster, PA next week. We are in northeast FL. That's gonna be over a 14 hour drive. She'll be there for two years, and I seriously doubt we'll ever be able to go see her. It's going to be hard being so far away, but I'm looking forward to a little peace in the family. She's always got drama going on, and this may make things a little calmer.

 

So, last night I felt swollen all over. I told DH I felt like a puffer fish. When I moved, even just adjusting on the couch, I was in pain in my torso. I wasn't having true contractions, or even braxton hicks. It was just painful. My pubic bone was hurting and little man had his knees/feet in my ribcage. DH helped me to bed and I fell asleep listening to my Hypnobabies track. I woke up feeling a little better, but my feet and hands still feel swollen and my pubic bone is still tender. I don't think it's pre-e or anything, because my blood pressure has been absolutely perfect.

 

Since my sister is leaving next week, my whole weekend got thrown for a loop. I had planned on staying home and "nesting" a little more, but she's going to be at my parents' house, so I will be going to their house today so she can see the kids before she leaves. After that, DH should be bringing his sister over for the night. He's gonna cook us some fish with a creme sauce. I love when he cooks!

 

Oh, and I started a new sewing project. I took advice from my doula and made my cloth pads longer, wider, and the tabs wider and longer. Now, i need to make some more! So, I bought some flannel and I'll be getting to work this week.


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Old 04-09-2011, 09:24 AM
 
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Right now I am taking a break from the second to last round of packing.

 

Monday, we buy the house. We have to bring Monkey to the closing so we will be hauling a lot of stickers. Afternoon try to put up baby gates on the stairs, which will be interesting as we have never had gates before.

Tuesday. I am 37 weeks. We move the Piano. My husband does not want to watch them haul it out since he feels bad that it is so heavy (it is a grand) so he will take Monkey to preschool for the first time. Once in the house we have to figure out exactly where to put it.

Wednesday. Monkey goes to back up daycare downtown with husband (this is my favourite of his job perks) and the packers come to do the kitchen and whatever else I have decided not to do. I have no idea what do do in the afternoon.

Thursday. Monkey in daycare again, movers move all our stuff.

Friday. Monkey in daycare. Midwife with out him for the second time this pregnancy. I have a friend coming in the afternoon to help me set up the kitchen since I am terrified of climbing up on a stool to get into the high cabinets.

 

Baby is still heads down but curled up to the side, which means I feel great when he/she is not trying to stick her feet out of the side of my belly. GBS negative. No contractions which I am sure I will worry about in a few weeks. We got the extra car seat into our Pastor's car, since she will drive us home from the hospital. I wrote up Monkey's care instructions but still need to pack his bag and put the final touches on my hospital bags.


Mama to Monkey (Jan '09), Bee (May '11), and Cat (August, '13)

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Old 04-09-2011, 01:08 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SallyNichole View Post

I've had to let go of some stuff on my To-Do list. It bothers me but not as much as I was stressing about getting it all done.

 


I've had to do this and make peace with it as well... unfortunately I still have so many non-negotiable items on there, the stress is starting to creep back in...

 



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Getting close indeed!

I don't *think* I've had any contractions (I had SUPER bad cramps for almost 20 years, so I've been told I might not even notice I'm in labor because it won't hurt as much as the menstrual cramps - um... lol? pinktongue.gif), but I've definitely had a few days where I've had this "this is getting closer and closer and could really happen at any time" feeling.

 

 

 

Getting my maternity photos done this weekend (bikini/leg wax today - SO excited to have that hair gone - I can't even really see it, but I can FEEL it!)


 


With DD I had back labor, very different than I thought labor would feel, and wow, did it ever suck. But with DS, it was exactly like mild cramps - the kind I wouldn't even take painkillers for, so I bet you'll do awesome! It was wonderful to just soak in the warm water in the tub - so SO different than back labor and not having a tub!

 

About a year and a half ago, I had THE WORST period of my life, and it was *infinitely* worse than labor at any stage - nothing I was doing was working to help it, and one of the most ... comforting? parts of labor was the knowledge that I was working towards something amazing with my body, and with that period I had no such knowledge. With the infertility issues, it was insult to injury.


Oooh! I would love a wax - I need to do something! There's nothing worse than pp bleeding and too much hair involved!

 

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SallyNichole - I'm right there with you on the carseat! I actually had a dream the other night that I went into labor and freaked out because we had no diapers, no car seat, and I only underwear I had for postpartum were thongs! Awesome. I woke up the next day ready to get stuff done!


However, sadly I'm just not as excited about it as I once was. We found out yesterday that my Grandpa's cancer has returned. He was all clear in the fall, but the latest test shows its back and spread possibly to his bones and spine. We won't know more until next week, but it is sad to take in. It makes me really want this little one to get here soon! I'd like my Grandpa to be able to meet his 7th great grandchild. I keep looking at my belly telling him he is welcome anytime. The painting and cleaning will all get done eventually. I don't even care at this point if its not done before he comes if that means he is here earlier.

 

Sorry to be a bit of a downer today. It's just what keeps going through my mind.


Your thong dream made me laugh! That would not be any fun at all! And I am so sorry to hear about your grandpa! I hope he's comfortable and getting all that he needs, and I hope your little one is here as soon as reasonable so you can share him with your grandpa! Hugs!

 


 

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My husband has to go to a conference in Sydney three weeks after my due date and my cousin will be coming out to visit and help. Which is great, she and I are really close and though she doesn't have a ton of experience with new babies, I know she will chip in around the house and be a joy to be around. However, she is talking about bringing her younger sister, who I have not spent more than 3 hours with since I was about 14 years old. There's nothing wrong with her exactly, I just have no idea what she's going to be like. I feel like part of me is being a little selfish or weird about it, but then again, I don't want the drama. I dunno.

I, too, would talk with her about this - post partum, especially with your first, is NOT when you want to figure out if you're comfortable with someone. She may be wonderful, but it's not fair to you. You'll be adjusting to so much, and if you're breastfeeding, it's so much better to get to where you're comfortable with that before feeling like you need to do it around acquaintances - at least that was my experience.
 

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I feel this way all ready and I'm only 34 weeks...so I could still have 2 months leftguilty.gif...hopefully this baby will follow its siblings and come by 40 weeks.

 

AFM:  Can I just sleep and do nothing for a few days.  I just have no energy, but I look around my house and see so much that needs to be done(mostly cleaning and organizing).  Ugh!  I feel like I'm nesting but without the productivity of it since I get so tired and sore so quickly.

 


I'm 33 weeks!! And I feel like I'm so far "behind" so many of you, but just SO ready to go. My first two were born the day after their EDDs, so I'm hoping this one follows suit.

 

Two days ago, I woke up, ate, made a grocery list, took a shower.... and went right back to bed for two hours. I thought I was going to fall over just getting dried off and getting my clothes on! I did have a hard time sleeping the night before, but good grief.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by jr'smom View Post

I've been having uncomfortable contractions for a few days now.  I can't remember if they started getting so strong so soon with my other children.  Dare I hope that I could go into labor early this time?  Doubtful! 

 

I had a day last week with so many B-Hs... I was basically refusing to pay attention to see if they were regular, but they were definitely getting stronger throughout the day, despite my spending the day doing nothing but hydrating, eating, and alternately sitting & lying on my left side. But they were so intense I couldn't just go one with my day. They HAVE thankfully calmed down - I mean, I'm ready to be done, but I am NOT ready to have a 32 weeker! :) - but now pretty much any movement I make, getting up, sitting down, going to the bathroom, walking, anytime I'm not lying down in bed, and am moving, I'm having another one. I decided to just act like they're nothing and keep going with my days - but same here... I just don't think I had them this early or strong with the first two! So I too am kind of hoping maybe I'll break out with a 37 week baby this time? Only four more weeks if that's the case! ... and yeah. Right. Doubtful. :)

 

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So, did I tell you girls I finally e-mailed my mom? I told her I was tired of being called fat and wide. She apologized and hasn't said anything negative since. Quite thankful for that!

 

I had a miserable night, and I know it is related to the fact that my sister (26) who is a drug addict in a treatment facility is being moved to a facility in Lancaster, PA next week. We are in northeast FL. That's gonna be over a 14 hour drive. She'll be there for two years, and I seriously doubt we'll ever be able to go see her. It's going to be hard being so far away, but I'm looking forward to a little peace in the family. She's always got drama going on, and this may make things a little calmer.

 


Oh, and I started a new sewing project. I took advice from my doula and made my cloth pads longer, wider, and the tabs wider and longer. Now, i need to make some more! So, I bought some flannel and I'll be getting to work this week.

Becca, that's awesome that you told your mother how you feel! I hope she continues to respect you!

 

I'm so sorry you're having so much stress over your little sister. My little brother - who's 28 - also went through struggling with addiction a few years ago. His recovery was almost as painful as his addiction, as far as witnessing it. I hope she finds success up in PA, but it's hard when they're so far away. I hope the distance will be good for her, in terms of maybe escaping old habits!

 

And I hope you have some better nights! I have so wished I had a place for my sewing machine.. I'd really like to make some things, including some pads for myself!
 

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Right now I am taking a break from the second to last round of packing.

 

Monday, we buy the house. We have to bring Monkey to the closing so we will be hauling a lot of stickers. Afternoon try to put up baby gates on the stairs, which will be interesting as we have never had gates before.

Tuesday. I am 37 weeks. We move the Piano. My husband does not want to watch them haul it out since he feels bad that it is so heavy (it is a grand) so he will take Monkey to preschool for the first time. Once in the house we have to figure out exactly where to put it.

Wednesday. Monkey goes to back up daycare downtown with husband (this is my favourite of his job perks) and the packers come to do the kitchen and whatever else I have decided not to do. I have no idea what do do in the afternoon.

Thursday. Monkey in daycare again, movers move all our stuff.

Friday. Monkey in daycare. Midwife with out him for the second time this pregnancy. I have a friend coming in the afternoon to help me set up the kitchen since I am terrified of climbing up on a stool to get into the high cabinets.

 

Baby is still heads down but curled up to the side, which means I feel great when he/she is not trying to stick her feet out of the side of my belly. GBS negative. No contractions which I am sure I will worry about in a few weeks. We got the extra car seat into our Pastor's car, since she will drive us home from the hospital. I wrote up Monkey's care instructions but still need to pack his bag and put the final touches on my hospital bags.

Your move sounds WAY more involved than mine was!! I hope it all comes together so you can relax for a bit before your LO arrives!
 

AFM- Forgive me - I'm going to throw a fit, in a bit of a WWYD situation:

 

Dh and I had a MAJOR throwdown about our moms, and who is and is not coming after the baby is born. He had agreed to everything I said about having my mom here, and when, - she'll likely get here a week or so after the baby is born and stay for a couple of weeks - but then I wanted my aunt to come down from VA (she wanted to come down, too) to hang out with the kids and I and Mom. Dh will most likely be back on the road within a week of the baby arriving, so I don't even know why he's having a fit, but he flipped out and said he doesn't want ANYone here to the first month of the baby's life. Part of me is ok with that, and part of me is NOT. I mean... we just moved here. I don't have a support system. It would be me, the two kids - who do help a LOT, but still - and the baby. And that's it. For 3-5 days at a time, depending on any given trip dh is sent on.

 

He says he just wants us to have that time together... but we wouldn't, he wouldn't even be there. I think he's mad that I told him I don't want his mother there until after mine leaves. I'm not just a pita daughter in law - she's an alcoholic. A very controlled, regimented alcoholic, but nonetheless. Her schedule is KEY to her being a tolerable person, and she'd be coming from CA to SC, meaning her schedule will be trashed while she's here. Add to this my frame of mind post partum. (I thought I was going to strangle her over Christmas... really, and honestly I usually do get along with her fairly well when she's got her schedule intact, and I'm not a hormonal mess) Plus her faux sense of what she thinks is propriety - she can't handle things like breastfeeding. Or boobs. Or blood. Or genitals. Or placentas. Or poop. And I happily leave her out of all of that, but we don't plan on moving pre-baby, and we live in a studio apartment. Seriously. So there won't be a place to hide if she's here at our place. So she'll want us, on HER schedule, to meet her here or there so she can see the baby if she's here in town. Uh... maybe. If I freaking feel like it. Add that she didn't come to see my son until he was TWO YEARS OLD.

 

Add to THAT... the woman has been talking about moving to FL since we moved to SC. Which is fine. A nice safe distance, if you will. But she's been talking about coming out here this month or in May, and then renting a car and driving down to FL. But then she wouldn't see the baby. MY dumb@$$ didn't jump on that wagon when I had the chance and really encourage her to come out early because somewhere in my own head I thought she was silly to do this without seeing the baby. BUT, DUH... that would've solved all of my problems regarding her... and then we'd go see them in FL when I was darn good and ready. I really don't even know if she wants to see the baby, because if there's anything my MIL cannot stand, its not being the center of attention. One of the reasons she was so ridiculous at Christmas was because with my being pregnant, I was getting WAY too much attention from any and everyone we met. I really think she doesn't want to see the baby, she just wants to go to FL before the "real" heat gets going. Which.. whatever. Fair enough.

 

Either way, dh is still bent about it all, and saying I'm "mean" for not wanting her here to begin with. In no other area of our lives does he ever allow her to have any kind of say-so - and it's a good thing - but he's apparently mad that I came right out and honestly said, "No, I don't want her here until after my mom leaves." She and my mom get along "fine", but talk maybe once a year at most, and have only seen each other a time or two, but my MIL is really jealous of my mom - in that my mom is the sort of quintessential grandma in her actions and behaviors and such. Due to my MIL's choices in life, obviously she cannot be the standard grandmother. No way can the kids go places with her alone - though we do occasionally let them go with her and her husband, who does not drink at all and is a great guy, very much a grandpa to the kids. No way can they spend the night without us, though, because any given night can turn into a brawl. She'll get mad if my kids talk about my mom or Colorado at her house. So I was thinking it would definitely be better for her to come after my mom left. She would be the only grandma in town, I would have breastfeeding re-established a bit, we'd all be kind of down off the baby-high and almost settled into a routine-ish kind of thing... HOW is this not obvious to him??

 

I just don't understand why he's suddenly in some kind of denial about who is mother is - he's never like this UNLESS I'm having a baby. It was an issue with my dd too - showed up the day after she was born (they only lived 5 hours away at the time) and then couldn't understand why I didn't do what SHE thought was a good idea which was going out to eat all the time they were there (the woman almost never cooks or eats at home, not that I blame her!) - when my dd and I were really struggling with breastfeeding. And dh is totally supportive of breastfeeding now, but he wasn't then, and was a nightmare because I wanted to stay home and try to work things out with my daughter when his mother wanted to "celebrate". Then she didn't come out at all after my ds was born, and I don't know why. I made it clear that she was welcome directly to her within a month of his birth. I wonder if it wasn't because I was breastfeeding ds, and she didn't come out til after he was weaned? I've even called my mom and told her not to buy a ticket out yet, because as much as I want her here, I don't want her here in the middle of some BS with my dh and I, or if my MIL shows up unexpectedly... I don't know. I'd rather no one was here than tons of stress and drama.

 

So I actually haven't told dh I told Mom to wait on the ticket - I don't want to give him the satisfaction. (:-O Can't help myself.) And after trying to play to his issues with the last two kids, I told him flat out that I was the one having the baby, and I was going to allow whom I wanted, when I wanted, and I really didn't care if his mother did or didn't show up, whether or not she was allowed in or we saw her would be entirely up to me. He wouldn't be around to help out, and I wanted someone here I could trust and relax around. If I could have him, I'd prefer him, but we can't afford for him to take more than a week off of work, and who knows how I'll be post partum? Who knows how anyone will be, you know? All that being said, what I DON'T want is to spend the last couple of months of this pg fighting about something that just doesn't even make sense to me. I want us to reach some kind of agreement. I told him to go ahead and tell his mom that if she wants to come out early, EARLY May or even April, that's fine. She can do what she wants and then go to FL, but it may be too late for her to make those plans. Idk.

 

I am SO SORRY for going on forever, but if any of you read all of this and have any ANY perspective or advice, I would deeply appreciate it. Am I out of line? Is he out of line? Is there anything you would say or do that I haven't said or done? My mom is this uber-nurturing type, she has her RN, and she and I have over the past couple of years really finally made peace with each other's differences and deal with it all respectfully. I was looking forward to having her here now that she and I communicate so well. I was under the impression that DH and I were also at a new and happy level of understanding and communication - maybe I just said the wrong thing the wrong way. Idk. His mom adores my children, and when supervised so I can relax, they do usually have a great time together, but she's essentially a very self-centered alcoholic who will be in a situation WAY outside of her comfort zone. This feels like a very bad idea to me, and I have to protect myself and my kids from that when I know I'll be emotional, exhausted, and short-tempered. I feel like my dh has lost his ever loving MIND.

 

Argh.

 

Sorry!!


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Old 04-09-2011, 03:23 PM
 
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Lizzie, I will save time and not quote your entire "issue". Honestly, I thought I had it bad having both sets of grandparents 30 minutes away! I can't imagine trying to figure that out. I hope he becomes a little more understanding! I wish I had more advice, but I don't.


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Old 04-09-2011, 03:53 PM
 
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Ya'll we could full term babies by the end of this chat thread!!! That is crazy!!!!

 

I still have about 2 months to go though. lol

 

I am getting scared. My house is no where near ready to rent out. Also, I am psycho for going to law school when my baby is 2.5 mos old. That is all.


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Old 04-09-2011, 04:16 PM
 
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And after trying to play to his issues with the last two kids, I told him flat out that I was the one having the baby, and I was going to allow whom I wanted, when I wanted, and I really didn't care if his mother did or didn't show up, whether or not she was allowed in or we saw her would be entirely up to me. He wouldn't be around to help out, and I wanted someone here I could trust and relax around. If I could have him, I'd prefer him, but we can't afford for him to take more than a week off of work, and who knows how I'll be post partum? Who knows how anyone will be, you know? All that being said, what I DON'T want is to spend the last couple of months of this pg fighting about something that just doesn't even make sense to me. I want us to reach some kind of agreement. I told him to go ahead and tell his mom that if she wants to come out early, EARLY May or even April, that's fine.



That makes perfect sense to me!  This is more about YOU than him, IMO!  (And definately not about MIL!)

 


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Old 04-09-2011, 05:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lizzie- Has your DH told his mom that your mom was planning on being in town around that time? because her choice to come out then might have something to do the the jealousy you mentioned. And what was his reaction to you telling him that you got the final say on who visited and when they visited?

 

I think it's perfectly acceptable for you to say you aren't comfortable with her there for the first month and that you need your moms support once your DH is out of town. A part comprimise would be to tell your MIL- Here's how it's going to be if you visit during this time...I'll have my boobs out. I'll be bleeding and emotional. I'll be overwhelmed adjusting to three kids and might cry for reasons you don't understand. If you can be comfortable with that then you can come but don't expect me to be able to entertain you or to want to leave my nest.

 

obviously, you might want to word it a little differently.

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Old 04-09-2011, 07:10 PM
 
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Bring on the cankles! I am so swollen today. Swollen and tired. Really hoping I can make it to church tomorrow, not optimistic...


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Old 04-09-2011, 10:16 PM
 
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Thanks for the feedback so quickly, AND the support, ladies! I needed ANYone to confirm for me that I wasn't being ridiculous!
 

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Originally Posted by SallyNichole View Post

Lizzie- Has your DH told his mom that your mom was planning on being in town around that time? because her choice to come out then might have something to do the the jealousy you mentioned. And what was his reaction to you telling him that you got the final say on who visited and when they visited?

 

I think it's perfectly acceptable for you to say you aren't comfortable with her there for the first month and that you need your moms support once your DH is out of town. A part comprimise would be to tell your MIL- Here's how it's going to be if you visit during this time...I'll have my boobs out. I'll be bleeding and emotional. I'll be overwhelmed adjusting to three kids and might cry for reasons you don't understand. If you can be comfortable with that then you can come but don't expect me to be able to entertain you or to want to leave my nest.

 

obviously, you might want to word it a little differently.


 

Really, SallyNichole, I don't know if I would word it ANY differently! lol.gif That made me laugh out loud to imagine saying all of that to her, and I really needed a laugh. Thank you!! And you make an excellent point - I should just tell her things will be messy, and she does not like mess. All that having been said, I don't even know that she *is* choosing to come out at that time - she may be hoping to avoid scenes like there were when my dd was born (I wouldn't come of out of the bedroom because I half naked trying to nurse a baby, dh was steaming aroud like a loon, and she and my step-fil were sort of stuck in the living room hoping for a glimpse of my dd, whom they *had* scene earlier that day.) and that's why she was thinking of coming out before the baby was born? Idk.

 

She was VERY close to her own mother, and she is actually very supportive of my mom being with me whenever something crazy is going on, and dh knows this, and I made this point to him, that she would likely understand if we just presented it to her in that tone, but cuss, profanity, expletive... He just got on some bizarre kick out of nowhere!

Really, right now, my problem is more with DH and his inexplicable (to me) reactions. When I told him I would be the one determining who was and wasn't here, he basically said the conversation was over, at least until he got back home so we could talk more efficiently, effectively, both, whatever. I'm not good at the "this conversation is over" game. NO conversation is over for me until it's resolved, so it means we'll be communicating only basic info until he's back in town, which frustrates me so much. For all I know he was having a bad day and he'll come home and tell me he was on crack and is sorry and just couldn't bring himself to back down on that particular evening. And I'll throw something fairly soft at his head.

 

I will be the first to admit that I am shamelessly putting myself and my baby and family first right now - why dh is surprised by this or thinks that is somehow wrong is beyond me - but it IS better for my MIL to come when we will better be able to deal with her. Better for us, better for her, just better. And he knows this!

 

I may be jumping the gun on my reaction - when I talked to dh (briefly) this evening, he said his mom *wasn't* necessarily planning on being here then at the same time as my mom...  ??? just basically that I made him mad saying I definitely don't want her here then. And then said he'd just rather wait til he was home to talk about it more. But... for crying out loud, then why is he being such a PITA???? I actually talked to my MIL tonight - I'm telling you it's like Jekyll and Hyde with her,  and she couldn't have been sweeter (and when she's sober, it's usually fairly sincere - the best she can do, anyway) and her coming here didn't even come up beyond that she had been hoping to come in May but now her husband had signed up for jury duty? So now they can't leave in May - because she can't travel alone. So they don't have any particular plans, and now my mom doesn't really either, though at least my mom knows what's up, she knows how dh can be, and she doesn't take it personally when he flips out. Happily there's plenty of time for my mom to still get tickets out here when I wanted her here, even if dh takes a week to get home before we can fully resolve whatever is going on.

 

My mom suggested he's just having a sort of panic/control freak attack in that things really aren't the way I know he hoped they'd be when this baby arrived. Trying to grasp at straws of what he thinks he can control? I mean, we can't even know if he'll be in the state when I go into labor, and he'd almost have to drive back from wherever he is, rather than hopping on a flight. In which case my saying "It's me, all me, and you AND your mama can just pack sand" (Didn't actually say that, but it's likely what he heard) was just the wrong thing to throw out there - but whatever. I understand that, I'm sorry he's feeling that way, but I kind of am too, and like I said, if he can't be here, I will have who I want here, not just people who feel they have a right to be here. With it looking like dh is being ridiculous and MIL is being unexpectedly understanding over the phone, (I'll probably get some passive aggressive bs later in life over it, but that I'm used to!) I'll just deal with her myself, and play up the "You know how it is when you want your mama around!" card, and I really think she'd be okay with that... but I'm not planning on backing down - I want to know who I'll be having to deal with and when before I have to deal with them this time around.

 

Sigh.

 

And again, THANK YOU ladies!! And again, SORRY for the novellas - Becca, I was thinking at first you meant "issue" like a magazine issue, vs just.. issues. LOL. :)


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Old 04-09-2011, 10:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by becca_howell View Post

Lizzie, I will save time and not quote your entire "issue". Honestly, I thought I had it bad having both sets of grandparents 30 minutes away! I can't imagine trying to figure that out. I hope he becomes a little more understanding! I wish I had more advice, but I don't.


Thank you! :) You know, we have lived closer to both sets of grandparents - never at the same time - and oddly enough the closer we are to my MIL, the less annoying she is.. it's like if she knows we're close by, she doesn't need to worry and obsess so much? She just does her thing... Now if only I could afford to live in SoCal where she is. :)

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Ya'll we could full term babies by the end of this chat thread!!! That is crazy!!!!

 

I still have about 2 months to go though. lol

 

I am getting scared. My house is no where near ready to rent out. Also, I am psycho for going to law school when my baby is 2.5 mos old. That is all.

 

That's crazy! And me too, with the 2 months... :-/ And WOW... that will be hard. You're a brave woman!

 

Quote:
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That makes perfect sense to me!  This is more about YOU than him, IMO!  (And definately not about MIL!)

 


 

Thank you!! Really, it's like all this just occurred to me this pg. With the first two, I can't tell you how hard I was trying to make everyone happy - and I regret that waste of energy, because it didn't work for any of us, least of all my babies and me.


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Old 04-11-2011, 07:09 AM
 
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Last night was moderately miserable. DH cooked a fabulous dinner that hit my stomach like a bomb. I was nauseated and contemplating throwing up for hours after. Still not 100% this morning on that front. Then last night when trying to flop from one side to another, I pulled a muscle in my stomach and back, and I'm down today. Which totally sucks because I had so much I needed to get done today around here. So, I'm sitting on the couch on a hot rice sock, praying the pain subsides so I can do some housework...


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Old 04-11-2011, 07:23 AM
 
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My belly feels so heavy when I walk. It is definitely uncomfortable but not painful like some of you are experiencing.  Sitting in my office chair really sucks. I wonder if my birth ball is big enough to try that instead to take some pressure off my hips.


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Old 04-11-2011, 07:25 AM
 
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Oh, I need a birthing ball so bad... I had one years ago but loaned it to someone who never returned it.


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Old 04-11-2011, 09:24 AM
 
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I had two birthing balls and when I moved and was just soooo sure I was done having babies, I gave them away on freecycle.org.  Now I need to get another one, haha.

 

I have been needing to do some um, personal grooming, if ya know what i mean but can't see or even reach good.  Last time I had a large mirror I drug in the bathroom with me an propped it against the wall in front of the toilet and shaved that way.  No mirror this time :(  What to do, what to do?  Its a jungle down there, haha.

 

 


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Old 04-11-2011, 09:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Man, oh man, oh man. The big 37!

I had about four contraction on Saturday while walking around doing tourist-y things in our city. I had to bow out and sit in the cafe while HD and our exchange daughter saw the sites. I really hate that I can't really do as much as I want to do right now. It drives me crazy to get all ready to go and excited to see stuff and then to have to end up sitting on a bench or something and send them off to finish looking at all this cool stuff.

I have a good friend who reached her due date on Saturday. I know she's really ready to have her baby but she's a teacher and is working until active labor because she only has so many days she can take off and they rely on her income. I just keep reminding myself that I am really blessed to not have to have that added worry and I am trying to send her encouraging emails but the other day she called me upset and I am trying to think of something to send her, not for the baby but for the woman, to help encourage her. It's so hard to find something that's not about the baby but still acknowledges the journey a woman is on.

 

Anyway, HAPPY MONDAY!

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Old 04-11-2011, 10:38 AM
 
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omg... just catching up after being away from my computer this weekend - SO many posts, so I just offer a big *GROUP HUG* grouphug.gif to you ladies - sounds like a few of you are really going through some craziness!

 

for all of you that said a wax sounds good - MAKE SURE YOU SPECIFY WHAT YOU WANT, even if it's someplace you've been going for years duh.gif... I got my legs and Brazilian (TMI?) wax, which is what I normally get, but at first she did just a regular bikini wax, and had to go back and re-do it, and I'm not sure she used the "sensitive" wax on the re-do... I was a little more sore than usual - ugh... I was sweating like crazy, and in pain and... well, at least she was super-nice about it all and kept talking to the baby, and it looks fabulous and I don't have to think about hair for 4-6 weeks (and I'm due in 3.5 weeks, so YAY!)

 

I spent 3 hours with a photographer friend doing some maternity shots - I'm hoping that the kiddo will hold out until its due date so another photographer friend will be in town - it'd be nice to have the variety and he'll do nude/racy shots, but my friend this weekend was kind of skittish about them - she got uncomfortable when I took my bra off to change! (oy!)

 

I did a TON of cleaning - pulled everything out of my closets, put a few things in the "give away" pile (and I have two HUGE bags of "maybe" that I'm kind of reluctant to give away until I see how the postpartum weight loss progresses), redid my IKEA Pax/Komplement wardrobe innards so there's space for a large wooden drawer at just the right height that will act as diaper/clothing/supplies storage and a changing table (33lbs capacity - it should work for awhile!)

Organized all my camera stuff - charged up the batteries on everything (now I just need to teach DP to use it all), just need to go to the container store to get some bins for my cabinet and finish the job.

Went through all the craft stuff, found EVEN MORE stuff to give away, and put an IKEA list together for a sturdier, more space-efficient place to store my goodies.

I feel like I've been getting a LOT accomplished, but it doesn't feel like "nesting" per se, it feels like "finally taking care of XY&Z so I can get to the nesting in a couple of weeks"

 

I also FINALLY have most of the stuff I need for the birth - it's all either in the house or on its way...

GBS test tomorrow AM (was supposed to be tonight, midwife rescheduled) - I've lost a pound this week, which kind of worried me, but my midwife said is fine as long as I'm getting my nutrients, which I am. (...and my vain self, which is a VERY small piece of me, is happy that I'm still under 200lbs)

 

my notshower is this weekend, and I've been good - I'm putting off buying clothes or cloth diapers until the brunch happens - I figure there are worse things than disposable diapers and being swaddled instead of clothed for a couple of days.

*whew* almost there... it's all coming together!

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