My MIL wants to bring my niece with her when she comes... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 04-10-2011, 09:59 AM - Thread Starter
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DH and I have been talking to his mom about coming out around the time I'd due and staying for a couple weeks.  This morning she mentioned she'd be bringing our niece... who is almost 8 months old.  Um... am I wrong to not really be comfortable with this?  Our house is not babyproof (we're planning to move before this baby is mobile) because our two older kiddos are 8 and 5.  But really my issue is that I don't really want an extra kid in our (small) house when I'm trying to bond with my newborn and spend time with my kids.  I think I'll just see if maybe she can come out for a week or less?  This also means that if we go anywhere as a group, we'll have to take two cars.  DH doesn't see the big deal... but he's never had a newborn (he and I weren't together til my kids were 6 and 3).  He said he wants the kids to spend time with their cousin, which I do too, but we're planning to visit GA in July.

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#2 of 5 Old 04-10-2011, 12:48 PM
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Wow, I guess I am more surprised that the mom of the 8 month old is ok with her child being gone for a couple weeks! Does she not remember what a household is like with young kids and a newborn??

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#3 of 5 Old 04-10-2011, 01:46 PM
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uuh say no.  hello.  your house, your postpartum period that you need to protect.  Explain this to your DH and remind him he needs to protect you, that means saying no to his mommy.  She can stay in a hotel.  I can't believe she didn't even ask your permission first.  I don't know what your DH's relationship is like with his mom, but if there's one thing I'm firm about in my marriage, it's that my feelings and opinions come before my DH's family, ALWAYS. 

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#4 of 5 Old 04-10-2011, 03:30 PM
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I agree with standing up. Let DH know how it is with a newborn. It's not all peaches and cream, it takes time to get into the swing of things. An 8 month old would be in the way and stressful to have in the house with a newborn. It's one thing if your house is baby-proof. Sigh... just thinking of another baby in the house while getting to know this one stresses me out!

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#5 of 5 Old 04-10-2011, 04:06 PM
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i'm with hollybearsmom.... how strange that the parents of an 8 month old are ok with her being gone for so long!!  an 8 month old is still a baby so your mil won't be able to help you or spend much time bonding with her new grandchild... she'll be taking care of an 8 month old!  and it's not like an 8 mo will really be bonding with her cousins... i'd be uncomfortable with the situation too and agree that it's not an appropriate time to be bringing her along.  

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