The stupid/rude/obnoxious things people can say because you are pregnant thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 49 Old 04-18-2011, 03:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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"Wow, are you about to pop?"/ "Any day now, huh?"  me: no, I have a month still   "Oh, you look huge!"

 

Also:  "You look so done"  and "Look, I think you're waddling!"

 

And DH: "I can't wait for you to not be pregnant so you can be all hot again"

 

Really, these types of comments are not appropriate if someone is obese or sick or has bad skin, etc so why is my body free game for stupid people's comments?

 

 

 

 


 

 

 


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#2 of 49 Old 04-18-2011, 03:48 PM
 
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The guy at the car lot I park at for work, daily for the past few months: "Should you be driving? You're scaring me!" Umm... ok.

 

Pretty much everyone: "Bet you're ready to be done huh?" Yeah, cause you reminding me makes me even more ready, jerks.

 

My boss for the last few months, every time I make a noise while moving or express any kind of preggo discomfort in his office: "Don't have a baby in my office!" I am tempted to hide a water ballon in my pants one of these days and pop it while sitting on his couch. 

 

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#3 of 49 Old 04-18-2011, 04:22 PM
 
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Pretty much anything anyone says irritates me right now... doesn't matter if it has something to do with me or if they're commenting on the weather, I'm just plain irritable. LOL  Thankfully I haven't had anyone making rude comments... maybe I have a mean look on my face and they're afraid to say anything, because a few WEEKS ago, people kept saying, "Any day now, huh?"  Oh, and my DH is totally guilty of, any time I make a sound, saying, "Is she coming?"  He thinks he's soooooo funny.


 

 

 


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#4 of 49 Old 04-18-2011, 05:49 PM
 
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I get irritated when random strangers ask me my due date (which is none of their business to begin with!), because they almost always say something heart-warming like, "WOW!  Are you sure you've only got one in there!?!?"  Ugh.  Idiots. 


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#5 of 49 Old 04-18-2011, 06:29 PM
 
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Ugh, I got the "about to pop" comment a few weeks ago. So annoying!!!! And last week the lovely receptionist at the chiropractors office had to give me the twin comment too. And she is a mother and her office specializes in pre-natal care!

What is wrong with people!?!

I make a point to tell every pregnant woman I speak to that they look GREAT!

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#6 of 49 Old 04-18-2011, 07:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by penstamon View Post

And DH: "I can't wait for you to not be pregnant so you can be all hot again"

 

/quote]

bigeyes.gif If my DH said that, he would be in so much trouble! And tempted to say, "So what's your excuse, then?"

I've gotten so many annoying comments. I've been getting the "any day now" comments since 28 weeks. I've also gotten so many comments about maybe I'll go early, blah blah blah. Yeah, because I want a premature baby. eyesroll.gif I've gotten three comments with the word "fat". Awesome.

Lately, it's, "You look miserable!" Gee, thanks. And, "I bet you're hoping baby comes today!" No, because he'd still be too early, and I still have things to get done.

I haaaaate people projecting their feelings onto me. Assuming that I feel just awful and can't wait to get the baby out. In fact, the third tri has been my favorite. shrug.gif

I've also gotten stupid comments from my dad and MIL. My dad keeps pestering me about how much I spend on my breastpump. confused.gif I don't get it. He keeps saying a manual is perfectly fine and is what my mom used. Um, yeah, she only breastfed me for two months and didn't work. Why do you care how much I am spending on a breastpump anyway??? Weirdo. He's also bugged me about circumcision, but luckily, that one hasn't been brought up since Thanksgiving.

MIL likes to compare everything I do to herself and her daughter. Before I knew I had anemia, I felt really weak all the time, and she would tell me stories like, "When I was nine months pregnant, I helped push a car out of a ditch..." Good for you. The comparing me to her daughter is worse. Because SIL had a small baby and went early, automatically DH and I will, too, even though I was 8 lbs. and he was 9 lbs. 1 oz. And DH is 6'7. SIL halfway cloth diapered, so, you know, we couldn't possibly commit to it any more than she did. There are other things, too, just not baby-related. Like, she thought we were dumb for wanting to buy organic, until her daughter got into it, and then it was totally acceptable. I think maybe it's because DH's sister is 11 years older than him, so his mom still thinks of him as the baby. I don't know. But it's annoying. The latest thing MIL has been getting on my case about is an epidural, even though SIL didn't have one, but only because she went too fast. MIL didn't even have one with DH, took Bradley classes, and still makes comments like, "Do you really think you'll be able to do it without an epi?" How would I know, I've never done this before! Ugh, leave me alone!

I really do love my dad and MIL, but they can get annoying sometimes!


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#7 of 49 Old 04-18-2011, 07:37 PM
 
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K, no idea why my post ended up in the quote box, but I can't figure out how to fix it.

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#8 of 49 Old 04-18-2011, 07:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elonwy View Post

The guy at the car lot I park at for work, daily for the past few months: "Should you be driving? You're scaring me!" Umm... ok.

 

Pretty much everyone: "Bet you're ready to be done huh?" Yeah, cause you reminding me makes me even more ready, jerks.

 

My boss for the last few months, every time I make a noise while moving or express any kind of preggo discomfort in his office: "Don't have a baby in my office!" I am tempted to hide a water ballon in my pants one of these days and pop it while sitting on his couch. 

 


hahahahahahahahaha... yeah, that's all I have to say. :) DOOO IT!

 


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#9 of 49 Old 04-18-2011, 09:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elonwy View Post

 

My boss for the last few months, every time I make a noise while moving or express any kind of preggo discomfort in his office: "Don't have a baby in my office!" I am tempted to hide a water ballon in my pants one of these days and pop it while sitting on his couch. 

 

 

ESPECIALLY after reading your chat thread post, Yeah.. this just seems like a requirement for you on your way out... that would be awesome if it wouldn't reflect negatively on you in the long run!!

 

I was initially amused by the gasps of horror when people find out when I'm due, but they're getting old now that I've been getting them for well over a month. Then of course the women who flat out tell me I'm WRONG about when I'm due, and how I'll NEVER make it. Uh.. yeah. I will. Did this a couple of times before, and I looked just as silly last time. But thanks! I try to laugh off the silliness, but as I get more irritable in general, yeah, it's not always going so well. I should just start telling people, "No, not twins. TRIPLETS!!.... (muttered quietly... ) you enormous tool!"

 

But I won't - I'll just smile and act like they are TERRIBLY clever.
 

 

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#10 of 49 Old 04-19-2011, 05:09 AM
 
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I've posted several times about my mom's rude comments...

 

DD (3.5) told me yesterday I looked like a heffalump. Okay, that was kind of funny, but I'm trying so hard to teach her not to make comments about people's looks...


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#11 of 49 Old 04-19-2011, 06:45 AM
 
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At my babyshower this weeked I told my mother that they are ordering an ultrasound for the 29th because the baby has been measuring small. She snorted and said, "There is no way that baby is small!" Thanks, Dr. Mom!


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#12 of 49 Old 04-19-2011, 10:34 AM
 
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You know, I feel really lucky after hearing all your stories. I only get comments from my family and I'm totally comfortable telling them all to shove it.

 

Next time someone tell you that you're going to pop soon, just look at them and make a pained face and clutch your stomach like you're about to have the baby right then. And then report back their hilarious reactions. :)

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#13 of 49 Old 04-19-2011, 11:29 AM
 
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yup, the generally rude/obnoxious comments/questions about when I'm due and how big I am. I'm finally NOT getting as many comments that I'm "big" for how far along I am - since I'm due in under 3 weeks, though a homeless guy asked me yesterday if it was twins (I said "I HOPE not!")

 

A few people have joked that I got fat - I joke right back that I had a really big lunch.

 

I get a LOT of comments about not knowing if it's a boy or a girl - some people have congratulated me on being brave enough not to find out, some have told me I'm crazy/weird/irresponsible/unreal for not finding out... most just size me up, tell me how I'm carrying (high, low, big, small, sideways, I've heard it ALL), and tell me what THEY think I'm having.

 

I TOTALLY agree that the comments about "you're going to go tomorrow" or "any minute now" are just plain obnoxious - I started getting those at like 26 weeks or something, and I'd actually say... uh, no, I'd really rather NOT have a preemie if I can help it, thanks, I've got lots of stuff to get done before s/he gets here, and I want a HEALTHY baby, so I'd prefer it comes when it's full term, not 3 months early.

These days I just tell people I don't think it's happening for at least another week or two, but that it COULD happen at any moment.

 

I've gotten a lot of comments FROM PEOPLE I KNOW that I've dropped... yeah, hey guys, no, I haven't dropped yet, the baby hasn't gotten any lower, it's just gotten bigger. I'm actually getting kicked in the ribs right now, so I'm pretty sure it hasn't "dropped" eyesroll.gif

 

Oh, and here's a NICE random stranger interaction - Yesterday when I was buying breakfast, I had a woman ask when I was due (not uncommon these days), I said 5/5, and we chit-chatted a little bit - I told her about my friend who, at full term, would mess with people who asked when she was due, and say "um, what are you talking about? I'm not pregnant!"  

When we were both done paying, she wished me an easy delivery - I said thanks, I hope it is! she told me it looked like I'd kept active and been doing a lot of walking and I was looking really healthy, so she was betting it would be - awww - yay!

I've actually had several random strangers tell me how healthy I look, which is pretty darn cool orngbiggrin.gif

 

I am SO thankful that random strangers haven't really tried to touch my belly (though I do walk/stand pretty defensively, so it would be difficult, and I've got an arsenal of reactions ready for that), and I'm FINALLY being offered seats on the subway (though not regularly/always) - it helps that we haven't needed winter coats the last few days, so the belly is BLATANT.

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#14 of 49 Old 04-23-2011, 08:09 AM
 
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The newest one after "Are you ready?" is "You'll wish you were pregnant again once the baby is out. You'll wish you could put it back in!" I'm like.... no, seriously, I won't. This all comes from women that have had children and while I know it's meant to be lighthearted it just really rubs me the wrong way.


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#15 of 49 Old 04-23-2011, 09:17 AM
 
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i'm due may 4 and I'm still waitressing. so i get it all, including the belly rubs from complete strangers. That is the worst. My belly is right at their level when I'm taking their orders.

And I'm working for tips, so I can't be (too) rude.

 

When are you due?.....But, that's, like, next week!

Are you crazy?

You shouldn't be on your feet!

Are you having the baby here?

 

And I am at a point where, if I drop a fork, or a pen or something, I leave it there until I get one of my coworkers, who are all awesome about it, to pick it up for me.

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#16 of 49 Old 04-23-2011, 04:40 PM
 
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ha! Just posted on my FB page that strangers are seriously scared of and/or nervous about my belly...they don't talk to me, they talk to my belly...and everyone gives me a really concerned look like, "please don't have your baby right here, right now!" And yes- when they ask what I'm having and I share that we are opting for the surprise, *everyone* says- "oh, well- it's a boy!" No girl guesses so far;) But really- as I walk around, people stare...and they don't sneak a peak...they just *stare* as I walk by. I didn't even think my belly was that big!


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#17 of 49 Old 04-25-2011, 09:50 PM
 
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I was trying to explain to DH the other day just how annoying it is, and he was like "relax, they mean well" and I was saying, yeah, got that, but REALLY??? Because when he's with me, I don't get near the silliness I get when it's just me or just me and the kids. I think that's mostly because I'm engaged in a conversation with him, so I just make less eye contact with others?

 

Then we went out to eat the other night, and maybe because I've pointed some of this out to him, Idk, he noticed a couple of people just STARING AT MY BELLY. For extended periods of time, while we (and they) were eating. If and when they looked away, they looked back pretty quickly. I didn't notice them, but he did. He had to agree, that got old, and made him a feel a little weirded out. :) I wondered afterwards if possibly my belly was doing it's undulating dance of baby movement and freaking them out? LOL... Idk. The baby is usually so active when I'm eating I can't remember if there was a lot going on or not.

 

When we were eating our lunch, the waitress asked when I was due, and seriously, her eyes just about popped out (NOW who's ready to pop?? haha) and her jaw dropped and she was all "OH MY GOODNESS!! ARE YOU HAVING TWINS??" But with the sweetest southern accent, and I thought dh was going to choke, he was trying so hard not to laugh at her. I think before that he thought I was exaggerating the reactions I get. She then went on to tell me that of course if I believed I was having a boy, I was surely having a girl. Because that's what happened to her!

 

I was sort of pleased with all of it though this time... nailed home my point to the man. :)


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#18 of 49 Old 04-26-2011, 09:32 AM
 
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This morning as I walked into work my coworker greeted me with, "You're still pregnant." Granted, it was early but my first thought was, "no shit." I know they are all excited for me, but really? I'm only 38 weeks today!

 

I also am amazed at how I am progressing is a perfectly normal topic of conversation these days. I surprised a random stranger when I in turn asked her how her cervix was doing today.

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#19 of 49 Old 04-26-2011, 09:37 AM
 
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I love asking her how her cervix was!! Hah!
 

I am going to interject a funny story in here. It was my first conversation with a stranger that was actually enjoyable, in fact was downright amusing.

 

A woman lets me go in front of her on the escalator this morning and says "Looks like you're having a Spring baby!" I reply: "Yup, May Baby" 

 

 

She says: "That reminds me of this time in school when a little girl got up in front of the class and told us that her mommy told her that if she washed her face in the first dew of the first day of May she'd always be beautiful."

 

Then she continues: "The thing is, she was the homeliest little thing I'd ever seen. I just remember being 9 years old sitting there thinking 'It's not working!' "

 

I laughed hysterically all the way to the top of the escalator. Totally made my morning. Sooo random.


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#20 of 49 Old 04-26-2011, 10:35 AM
 
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people are actually asking you how your CERVIX is!? jaw.gif  I mean... wow. Totally the right response to ask her how HERS is ;)

 

I'm actually STILL WAITING for a random stranger to rub my belly without asking (to be fair, I'm generally in a pretty defensive stance with something in front of my belly, so I guess I've done a pretty good job of preventing the problem) - I guess it depends on the situation, but I have a whole arsenal of responses to non-permitted belly touching... muahahahaha. (rub THEIR belly, grab their boobs/crotch, do a kung fu move on them, etc... plus one of these phrases: "oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were inappropriately touching random strangers" with plenty of sarcasm or "STRANGER DANGER!"... yeah.)

 

today I've gotten "you're gonna pop any minute!" and "oh, you're just nesting" (in response to a facebook post about getting the new landlord to take care of pre-existing mold, and finding a new midwife at 38w after the old one dropped me)... then I was told I was in denial about nesting and the baby's coming SOON... uh, no guys... my washing of receiving blankets, clothes, and diapers is nesting, and that's happening later this week... getting a mold issue fixed w/ the new LL and making sure I have someone to catch the baby? yeah, that's just common sense.

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#21 of 49 Old 04-26-2011, 09:35 PM
 
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i swear if anyone asks me how my cervix is i just might punch them in theirs...

mama to 9 year old h  and 3 year old z

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#22 of 49 Old 04-26-2011, 09:50 PM
 
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Um WTF!!!jaw2.gifI would be sooo pissed.  This is really gross.  What did you do/say?
 

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And DH: "I can't wait for you to not be pregnant so you can be all hot again"

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 



 

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#23 of 49 Old 04-26-2011, 10:24 PM
 
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if my DH said that to me i would punch him in HIS cervix! :P
no but really, i would be furious. i guess i'm really lucky that my husband loves my body the most when i'm pregnant.

someone informed me the other day that i had begun to waddle. yep. thanks for that one, lady.
and this dude who is like 45 and not married with no kids told me i should eat more because my baby is probably only 3 lbs and "you REALLY don't want a 3 lb baby" ... uh...do you have experience with 3 lb babies or something, randy? =___=

other than that...i get stared down a LOT. if people that i don't know or don't like come up and want to touch my belly or say something like "is she moving?!" i just lie, and say no, she's sleeping, and cross my arms over my belly. hahahahahaha.


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#24 of 49 Old 04-26-2011, 10:28 PM
 
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Three times this month I've been asked " How far along are you?" When I proudly answer, they just stared for a minute then went back to their business. THAT is way more annoying than the " are you ready", " you carry like me ", You should eat more because that baby looks too small" comments. Why did you ask???

 

One week I wore a stretchy tee shirt and was told I didn't look nearly as far along as I said I was. The next week I had on a pretty maternity shirt and was told I had gotten huuuuuge. Duh, the shirt makes me look like I'm carrying triplets, but its the only nice shirt that fits over my chest these days. Sheesh!

 

 But I've had a lot of nice comments too. A lady in a parking lot told me I was the cutest pregnant lady she had ever seen. :)

 

And a lot of people have told me how much I glowed. And as miserable as I felt physically, those compliments were balm to my soul for sure!

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#25 of 49 Old 04-26-2011, 10:44 PM
 
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Returning to school today after the weekend today this is what I heard all day.

 

"You're still pregnant !/?" You could say this a million different ways and I heard them all today.

 

or the nicest one.  "Oh my gosh I didn't think you could get any bigger!" 

 

It wasn't long ago I had a sneezing attack in my art history lecture where the spit fire of a professors stopped in the middle of what she was saying and said "not too hard now" like I would sneeze the baby out.  I was just happy I didn't pee myself!

 

I don't mind people touching my belly.  In fact I like it.  It's so weird to me that there is a human in me and I want people who don't know or haven't experienced it to get a glimpse!!

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#26 of 49 Old 04-27-2011, 07:35 AM
 
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"Twins, right?"

"no, I'm just due next week, you don't usually see ladies this late in pregnancy out and about."

"oh. boy or girl?"

"We don't know, it's going to be a surprise"

"wow, that's crazy! how are you supposed to buy clothes and stuff?"

"we don't mind dressing a girl in blue or a boy in purple... we're not big fans of pink for either, but most of the clothes we have so far are earth tones, neutrals, and bold colors"

"oh."

thankfully at that point my elevator ride was over...

 

I sat on my stoop for awhile yesterday... my neighbors were telling me I'd "go" in 2 days or less (even though I'm not due until next Thurs), and yadda yadda, were telling me all about the hospital (didn't have the heart/guts to tell them I'm not GOING to the hospital - HAH!), telling me about their neighbor's brother's former roommate whose cats didn't like the baby.... yeah. oy.  Can't we come up with something else to talk about, like the weather or something?

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#27 of 49 Old 04-28-2011, 08:31 AM
 
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My last pregnancy when I was 8.5 mths pregnant my MIL said to me "you're wide pregnant. Not that cute basketball pregnant like a lot of women" angry.gif

 

I don't think my belly is that big, its big for me but I'm all torso so I have more of a long belly, the new midwife I'm seeing what measuring me at my first apt with her and feeling around and said "well, do you think he's going to be a big baby?" I just laughed and said "my ODS was 7lbs10oz so I don't think I grow them too big" I was annoyed though. I hate doctors commenting on baby size. 

 

What I REALLY hate is "oh do you know what you're having" "yup another boy" "oh thats too bad, I'm sure you really wanted a girl. Will you be trying for another then?" 

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#28 of 49 Old 04-28-2011, 10:50 AM
 
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What I REALLY hate is "oh do you know what you're having" "yup another boy" "oh thats too bad, I'm sure you really wanted a girl. Will you be trying for another then?" 



seriously! THIS IS SO RUDE! especially if it is said in front of your children! ughhh i hate when people assume that you want one of each or that girls are better than boys! people always squeal with excitement when they hear we are having a girl and say "oh you must be SO happy!" but it always offends me (even though i am SO happy) ... i always inform them that actually we were fine either way and would have LOVED to have another boy. depending on how rude they are about it and if my son is around, i will even venture as far as to say that i find boys easier and more comfortable and am a little scared at the prospect of having a girl (so true). 


mama to 9 year old h  and 3 year old z

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#29 of 49 Old 04-28-2011, 10:59 AM
 
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Can't we come up with something else to talk about, like the weather or something?

 

Totally identify with that. I have people at work who come up to me and ask when I'm due. I answer them, then they just stand there, in a weird awkward silence. And I just think - you're the one that seemed to want to talk about my pregnancy.... I'm fine if we just stuck to talkin' about the weather!!

 

My least favorite comment this week has been, "You're taking THAT much maternity leave? What's your team going to do without a fourth person for so long?"

 

My response: "Yes, I am. And they'll be fine. I'll send the baby in to work for them so everything will be okay."


"The Mothers are the brave ones." - Call the Midwife

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#30 of 49 Old 04-28-2011, 11:18 AM
 
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My least favorite comment this week has been, "You're taking THAT much maternity leave? What's your team going to do without a fourth person for so long?"

 

My response: "Yes, I am. And they'll be fine. I'll send the baby in to work for them so everything will be okay."



When I had to quit work to go on bedrest and my boss said " You don't look big enough to quit work yet. I never had to quit work when I was pregnant...those pains are normal with first babies." angry.gif

 

She also commented that I should feel bad about leaving them shorthanded at such a bad time. I'm not really ashamed to say that I didn't feel the least bit bad. :)

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