I won't feel this awful forever right? (those of you who've done this before) - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-29-2011, 09:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I mean, this is my second and I do remember that right afterward the heartburn was immediately gone, the piriformis pain was gone, the belly (most of it) was gone, the low blood pressure and dizziness was gone, I could breathe again.  I feel like I have SO MUCH to do, but I am so faint (blacking out), I can't bend over to get out all the boxes of newborn clothes to organize, I can't even go to the grocery store because I am so tired and lugging around a 1 year old and all of the grocery bags totally does me in while in this pregnant body.  Yesterday, I went to get coffee and started blacking out in the drive thru because even the sitting position is so uncomfortable the way it compresses my ribcage.

 

I keep thnking, after the baby is born, I'll be able to do so much more....I think.  I mean, I know there will be a newborn which will add all sorts of challenges... but, physically I'll be able to bend over to pick up toys, I'll be able to hold my toddler on my lap to read a book again and I won't be so restricted in sleep positions, I'll be able to go through a drive thru to get coffee without fainting for goodness sakes!  Am I crazy?  Will having two babies (19 months and newborn) be even harder than what I've got going on now?  Will it be crazy and make me wish I were still pregnant?

 

With my first, I was cool and calm, listened to Hypnobabies CD's and didn't feel a need to rush her even when I was a week overdue.  But, here I am this time, not due for another 4 weeks and I am pulling my hair out with my feelings of physical limitations and trying to cook, clean and care for a toddler!!!  I am so ready for this baby to be born!

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Old 04-29-2011, 09:37 AM
 
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Being pregnant with a toddler is so much worse than having a toddler and a newborn. At least that's how it was for me when I was pregnant with #2.


 


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Old 04-29-2011, 09:55 AM
 
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It depends how hard the pregnancy is. My last pregnancy wasn't bad and it was easier to be pregnant than have two kiddos but this time around I'm feeling it might be different.

 

In your case, I think it'll be easier to have a newborn and toddler than to be pregnant with a toddler.

 

I'm so ready to be done here too. This pregnancy has NOT been fun. (coulda been worse, but still)


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Old 04-29-2011, 12:31 PM
 
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I've been thinking about this a lot too.  Yes, having a newborn is hard... but this pregnancy has been a lot more physically challenging than my first two.  I know I'm going to lose sleep and have my hands full, but being able to breathe, not being nauseous (due to her pushing up on my stomach I think), being able to bend, lift, MOVE, etc., I think will be nice.  Right now we are holding our babies 24/7--I know that after she is born, DH will be doing a lot of the holding as well (at least when he's home), which will give me a chance to get some things done.

 

I'm hoping that a lot of the pelvic/belly pain I'm having subsides very quickly after delivery.  I did tear with my first two (second delivery was a third degree tear.. he came really fast!), but I didn't really have a rough recovery from that.  I know there will be new challenges.. but I'm ready to ditch these challenges and get onto other ones. ;)


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Old 04-29-2011, 02:03 PM
 
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hug2.gif  I feel your pain!

I was just saying yesterday that I think I'm going to enjoy this kid a lot more when it's OUT (and I don't even have a toddler to care for like you!)

 

I've also said for months that I don't enjoy pregnancy all that much, and I haven't had a difficult one by any stretch of the imagination, so... yeah.  I'm still running up stairs, walking faster than most people, etc. at 39w, but I'm definitely not feeling like I do when I'm not pregnant - everything is more difficult.

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Old 04-29-2011, 04:09 PM
 
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I agree with others that it depends on the pregnancy, probably...but I would think that just the reassurance of knowing you're not going to be blacking out willy nilly would be a huge improvement once baby is out!

 

I am looking forward to the increased mobility etc, but with a little trepidation as I had a cervical prolapse for a couple of weeks early in this pregnancy and I'm worried about it recurring...it was kind of not fun (not painful, just so uncomfortable and also quite off-putting to feel like you're falling apart!). 

 

I think no matter what, it's important to look at the first few weeks as a fourth trimester and give yourself permission to continue to rest and go slow, as if you're still pregnant, even if you're feeling much better.  Lets you make up for the lack of sleep and just the overall strain of expanding the family and everyone adjusting to the new normal.  It probably depends on the toddler, but I found that the babymoon vibe in our home really rubbed off on DS1 in the days and weeks after DS2 was born...it wasn't all easy, but it was quieter than normal and we all just sort of settled in and rested together.  Hope it happens that way for you as well!

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Old 04-29-2011, 05:01 PM
 
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I've been thinking about this a lot lately. You can search for some of the posts I've started in the last couple of months.  Last time, I had a rough pregnancy. Ok, I slept the entire time I wasn't at working (including over my summer break as a teacher) so it was probably harder on others than me since I wasn't doing any house work or taking care of our then 3 year old.  I thought it would be easier after the baby was born and I actually was a little less fatigued but that happened in the last 4-6 weeks anyway.  After the birth, I was totally unable to take care of the baby and it might have been that way due to some post partum trauma.

 

Anyway, this time I didn't lose energy or have too much pain until a couple of weeks ago. I'm terrified that if I can't take care of the two older ones I have like I want to that I won't be able to take care of the baby either greensad.gif

 

In the end, I think it will be better though.

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Old 04-30-2011, 06:14 PM
 
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Hi, I'm a mostly lurker here but I gotta say yes, I know exactly how you feel! My second pregnancy was my hardest. Taking care of one toddler who still needs so much is super hard when you can barely walk. After my second was born it was such sweet relief. He was an awesome sleeper. I think I got the best sleep of my life after he was born. Now that I am pregnant with my third, my then toddler is now 4 1/2 and has been so helpful. And it is nice that DS 1 and 2 can play together while I relax.

 

So, for me, I think it is easier to have a newborn than be hugely pregnant (I get HUGE) You can bend over, put the baby down if you need to, heartburn is gone, and sleeping is so much easier.


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Old 05-01-2011, 10:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 77sugaree View Post

Hi, I'm a mostly lurker here but I gotta say yes, I know exactly how you feel! My second pregnancy was my hardest. Taking care of one toddler who still needs so much is super hard when you can barely walk. After my second was born it was such sweet relief. He was an awesome sleeper. I think I got the best sleep of my life after he was born. Now that I am pregnant with my third, my then toddler is now 4 1/2 and has been so helpful. And it is nice that DS 1 and 2 can play together while I relax.

 

So, for me, I think it is easier to have a newborn than be hugely pregnant (I get HUGE) You can bend over, put the baby down if you need to, heartburn is gone, and sleeping is so much easier.




This is exactly the kind of thing I was hoping to hear.  Thank you. smile.gif

 

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Old 05-01-2011, 11:17 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 77sugaree View Post

So, for me, I think it is easier to have a newborn than be hugely pregnant (I get HUGE) You can bend over, put the baby down if you need to, heartburn is gone, and sleeping is so much easier.


I want that ^

 

I can't handle this anymore. I just started crying my eyes out today because I'm so ready to be done!!!

I can't even function properly and it's so hard to care for my 2 other little guys.

 


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Old 05-01-2011, 12:43 PM
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i'm with you all. i have crying bouts every couple days about how flipping exhausted i am. i mean, i know you will be sleep-deprived with a baby and a toddler but i AM looking forward to physically being able to function again. 

the heartburn goes away, carpal tunnel goes away, you can even ***stand up** without feeling like you're having a heart attack! oh...and sleeping on your belly!!!!!!

i think maybe pregnancy with a toddler is designed to be extra difficult to make post-baby more tolerable-seeming. i mean, for the first 2 trimesters i was dreading having 2 under two and lately i've been so miserable that i can't wait!


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Old 05-01-2011, 03:42 PM
 
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I agree it's better and i'm having my
4th. I'm so ready to be able to stand and walk without getting winded, not have heartburn, not have pubic pain or back pain, and to actually like food again.
I may have a baby attached differently but man it's easier(personally).

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Old 05-01-2011, 04:54 PM
 
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Oh my, the crying.... DS2 was 9 days late and after my due date came and went I would wake up every morning and just cry because I was STILL pregnant. I was also dilated to a 4 for about a week before he was born. I was just like come on already. I was SO glad when he was finally born. He was the most awesome mellow baby and is still that was as a toddler. So maybe maybe hard pregnancy = easy baby. lol 


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Old 05-01-2011, 07:12 PM
 
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Ugh I feel your pain. I have 4 kiddos incuding a 19month old and I am totally completely exahusted.  Taking care of the toddler

while pregnant is the hardest, bending over, changing diapers while he kicks me in the belly and climbs on my constantly.

Not to mention that this baby is so low that my hips and pelvis are constantly in pain.

 

My first two were 17mos apart.. second two were 18mos apart and even though the exahustion of having

lots of little children is difficult the physical discomfort of being this pregnant is MUCH worse IMO!


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Old 05-01-2011, 07:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lil_stinkyfeet View Post

 changing diapers while he kicks me in the belly and climbs on my constantly.

 

YES!!  My little girl's feet have some magnetic pull to my belly.  She is constantly kicking me (not on purpose) and pushing on my belly when getting up or crashing onto my belly when I'm on the couch.  It's torture.  I figure she'll be doing the same thing to my sore boobs while I'm breastfeeding - but, still, you all are convincing me that it will indeed be better once the baby is out!

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