When, Who, How are you telling? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 42 Old 10-14-2010, 11:14 PM
 
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i am so much more excited about telling some of my friends than telling my family, dh's family, work, etc. do you all think that there's a moral obligation to tell one's family first? it's just that pregnancy is so long and i'll have to listen to, ahem, OPINIONS from family alllll that time. i can't face it.
and i don't do anything cute either. i had taken the test while a friend was visiting and so had hidden it in the bathroom but my dh went to shave his beard and i had to run in to show him so he wouldn't just find it and be totally confused. (he read the box to make sure he was reading it right...) so it wasn't very emotional since the friend was sitting right in the other room and i wasn't ready to tell anyone else yet. but THEN, the really weird thing is, later over the weekend she asked me if i was pg and said that someone we visited the night before i took the test had told her that she had a feeling i was pg. how on earth did that person know even before i did? and i don't feel bloated or feel like my pants fit differently but two people at work asked if i was pg. (i completely lied, mentioned baby fat from #1 hanging on...) so i am afraid i'm giving off pg signals.
12 weeks seems like a long time not to tell. i'm thinking 8-10 weeks?
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#32 of 42 Old 10-15-2010, 12:28 AM
 
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I told my sister first. I was freaking out and my husband hadn't gotten home from work yet, so I gave her a call and she talked me down off of my "oh, crap" ledge.

Once he got home, I had this totally serious I-hope-you-don't-completely-freak-out tone--I mean, we both agreed we wanted another, *probably* within the next year, but we had been stressing about figuring out the economics, lack of extended family nearby, two demanding jobs, etc. So anyway, I had this sliver (well, ok--more like a large slice) of anxiety that he was going to run out of the house screaming when I told him. But he didn't, and he texted me the next day to tell me he wanted to make sure I knew he was really happy about the news. It was sweet.

I told my mom the next day, and I've told one friend. But other than that, I'm not planning to say anything until 14ish weeks, which I think will be around the week of Thanksgiving. We'll be back East with my husband's family. I don't intend to tell work or other people until the following week, but there's the small matter of me already looking weirdly huge. I suspect the secret will be out well in advance of 14/15 weeks, no matter whether I choose to say anything or not.

-nk
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#33 of 42 Old 10-15-2010, 12:58 AM
 
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I was pregnant in September and lost it early on, so I am holding off on telling my parents for a while. I will probably tell my mom after I see a heartbeat. I live away from my family for school and will have to call her to tell her, I guess. I will tell my dad at Thanksgiving. I wonder if I will be showing by then...it'll only be 10/11 weeks, so my guess is no.

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and his rainbow1284.gif baby brother (7/2011)
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#34 of 42 Old 10-15-2010, 05:05 AM
 
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Well, I've told quite a few people earlier than I planned... my symptoms made it inevitable.

Flatmate was surprised, eventually remembered to say congratulations, critiqued our timing, said he thought women got morning sickness at the end of pregnancy, and sent me a link today - presumably meant to be comforting - about how women with morning sickness have a lower rate of miscarriage and birth defects. He's not the most socially ept person we've ever met, but hey.

My sister in London responded as predicted, gushy and pleased, then gave me a short lecture about how DD shouldn't be an only child - which seemed a little redundant, given the circumstances.

My two little sisters were informed today while on a trip with me, Mum and DD - I thought I should let them know in a more tactful way than throwing up in the car. They were pleased, though my 15-year-old sister said she'd been wondering if I was because I'd been so tired. A cunning lass, that one - will have to keep an eye on her. Other than asking the due date they didn't actually talk much about it, which surprised me, but that was fine. We were going to visit a friend I haven't seen for years and her mother, so I told them too, because the chances of them spilling the news to any mutual acquaintances is low and it kinda came up.

I still have two sisters to tell (one is kind of unsupportive and distant and will probably respond with a vaguely sarcastic remark, not because she doesn't love me but because she's just weird like that; the other has special needs and is incapable of secret-keeping); Dad, who (astonishingly!) noticed I was looking tired the other day, so Mum thought I should tell him... I was languishing on his couch reading Milestones in Obstetrics and Gynaecology, but still, he's not known for being observant, although a sweetie; my in-laws, who I just plain don't wanna tell because I'm nasty and maladjusted; and a few close friends. The latter will probably have to know soon, because my tiredness and sickness are pretty obvious.

I guess with so many people in the loop it's impossible to expect the world at large to remain oblivious forever, but there are still certain people who I'd rather didn't know until the baby turns 5, so I'm hoping.

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#35 of 42 Old 10-15-2010, 02:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had a woman ask me at the retreat last weekend, "Are you pregnant?" It was my big mouth asking if taking silver was safe for nursing and pregnant women. I laughed and said, "Oh, I've just been planning on pregnancy for so long." And she said, "Since you were 5, right?" And I just nodded. Whew!

Today I am going on a road trip with my mother, SIL, and a friend. None of them know anything yet--my husband wants it that way. We come back tomorrow night, but still I am wondering what they are going to think of me eating and ravenous all the time and queasy the other. I have already been planting seeds of "You know I get car sick" and "My food allergies have been bothering me lately." But I don't know how three intelligent women are going to avoid seeing that I am "in the family way." We'll see!

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#36 of 42 Old 10-15-2010, 07:55 PM
 
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I haven't told anyone other than my best friend. Since she has five, I knew she would be supportive! Dh and I know that my parents are going to give that long, silent pause no matter when we tell them or how. Dh's parents live out of the country so I'm sure they will their usual "Oh, that's great! We'll see it once a year for two days when we come into town!" Ugh. Essentially, I think everyone is going to be pretty negative about it...of course, other than us. I am getting excited about telling the girls and seeing what their reactions will be. I'm not sure yet when we are going to tell them and I think I'm going to tell them by ordering them "Big Sister" and "Big Sister In Training" shirts...wonder how long it will take my five year old to figure it out? The rest of the family we will probably tell by letting the girls do it...maybe a video or something.

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#37 of 42 Old 10-15-2010, 10:46 PM
 
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I just called hubby and told him ( he was suspicious) I've been cranky and emotional...worse than pms. I have allready told most of the people I want to know on facebook or in person. I was going to wait but I just couldn't hold it in! I know I'm not very creative.

I just love the way kisses make ''booboo's'' all better.
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#38 of 42 Old 10-16-2010, 11:40 PM
 
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I'm not creative. I told DH right away. But it would be hard for him not to know as I obsessively started POASing at 9dpo. When I finally saw a line at 12dpo at 6:00am I woke him up and made him come downstairs and squint at the test. It was a very very very faint line. So I retested several hours later with two tests and it was a bit more obvious then!

We had talked about waiting until Christmas to tell everyone, but my mom came over to sub for my daycare during nap time that day so that I could run out to the lab and get my bloodwork done. I thought she'd figure it out, so I just blurted out why I was going. Turns out that she was clueless. So I could've kept my mouth shut. Other than that I've told my dad and two of my closest friends. Also, my birth board group for my DS. Everyone else is going to wait. I don't want my clients to know until I'm in my second trimester, so that's the big reason we're keeping a tight lid this time around. Otherwise we'd probably just blab to everyone!

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#39 of 42 Old 10-17-2010, 01:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beryhappy View Post
"I'm so thankful for a healthy pregnancy!". it will also be my facebook status.
Awesome! Mind if I steal this?

Let's see. We've been trying for a few months, and I'd actually already taken 2 tests this cycle, both negative. On the actual day I was supposed to get my period, I finally decided to take another one, expecting it to be negative, to get my period an hour later. At first, I thought it was negative, but no, it was positive. So I took another one, a First Response. I took a picture on my phone of the 2 postive tests and texted it to DH at work. Then, texted him a minute later to see if he looked at the pic. His response, "So are we in business?"

I told my playdate peeps and posted on my local parenting group message forums, but told all them that it is on the down low. I lost my first pg, before, DS, and the worst part was telling people over and over, having them say, "I'm sorry" over and over. So, we're waiting a bit, although neither of us really feels as nervous. I'd like to tell DS soon. I have a WIC appt Thursday, maybe before then. We'll probably wait to tell our families until after the midwife appt. I plan to give my mom a gift bag with a positive test in it. She'll be thrilled. I'd like to get a "Big Brother" shirt to send a pic of DS wearing to my brother and aunt. DH just wants to tell his family plain, not do anything fancy. Boo to that. I probably will wait to tell FB and the general public until after we've seen a heartbeat.

BFing, bedsharing, toddler wearing, non-circing, vegan mama to the sweetest boy in the world (2/08), wife to my spicy rock star (4/06) and expecting a new family member 6/11
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#40 of 42 Old 10-18-2010, 01:38 AM
 
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So, I surprised DH with lunch at work. I put the test in his pack of plasticware. He was totally shocked! He asked me if I paid someone to give me that test!!! HAHAHAHA! He was so happy!

but note to self and hubby: don't tell your three year old until you are ready to tell the WORLD!!!! He tells everyone he sees. "guess what, I'm gonna have a little sister". Of course it isn't even a boy or girl yet, he just thinks he is having a sister and says that is what he wants!

Married to a rad dad since 2005! Mommy to DS since 6-24-07! TTC #2 for 1 1/2 years...Joyfully EXPECTING #2 on 9/11!!!!
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#41 of 42 Old 10-18-2010, 04:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Borobaby, I've actually heard that siblings have a very high accuracy in predicting genders. I don't know how controlled this study was, but I heard something around 85%. So far, my mother and I have a 100% INaccuracy rating when guessing our babies' genders. My mother was much better guessing her granddaughter, although most of that was sheer hope rather than actually believing.

I wish I knew that my daughter would be able to get excited about a new sibling, but I don't know how much of the concept she will understand by 28 months. I'm hoping when I'm big and round and there are little kicks that maybe some of that will translate.

I did go on my weekend trip and either no one guessed that I was pregnant or no one was willing to come out and ask me. Being on a weird allergy diet and "car sick"
was a good cover. Now my mom is talking about going to be will my grandmother (she has breast cancer and is going in for surgery on the 29th) until Thanksgiving (when we all fly in to be with the family). We were excited about sharing with our extended family at Thanksgiving, but now we are thinking that it might be fun to share with my parents then too. They would be so surprised! We would, though, tell my brother and SIL before the trip. She desperately wants kids and he is scared and holding them back. I don't want us having our second to come between us. My MIL and FIL are on a trip until the beginning of Nov. We would probably tell them before Thanksgiving too, maybe week 10 or 11.

It is so weird to have this huge secret. I was sure that I was miscarrying last week. There was no blood though, just round ligament pain and a slight lessening of nausea. We fly out for Thanksgiving on week 12 (I will have completed week 12) and I have a visit with my midwife 3 days before to hopefully hear the heartbeat with a dopplar. I hope and pray that we will still have a healthy baby and that somehow I will be able to hear that heartbeat before our trip. If I DID miscarry, it would be so hard to share the sad news with close family. I hope, hope, hope that we won't have to worry about that.

Oh and this shirt is in the mail!

Happy Wife  partners.gif since 12/31/05 ~ Blessed Mama to stillheart.gif 2/8/09 and stillheart.gif 6/11/11, with stillheart.gif on the way due 2/24/14

 

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#42 of 42 Old 10-18-2010, 10:13 PM
 
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Hehe! I'm secretly hoping he's right

Married to a rad dad since 2005! Mommy to DS since 6-24-07! TTC #2 for 1 1/2 years...Joyfully EXPECTING #2 on 9/11!!!!
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