When, Who, How are you telling? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 42 Old 09-29-2010, 04:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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One of these pregnancies I am going to do something different than bounce on my sleeping husband with a pregnancy test shouting, "I'm pregnant!" Something sweet and subtle like a little "I love Daddy" onesie in his car or a cake. But oh well.

Friends and family it is a little easier to get creative with. Although, for the elderly, in my experience, it is better not to be TOO subtle. The great-Grandparents did not get the "hint, hint".

But what do you do in October or November to give a cute notice? I think I may do the tried and true "Big Sister" shirt. Although whether I snap a picture and send a card or just show up at a family gathering with her wearing it, is still up in the air.

What are YOU doing? When?

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#2 of 42 Old 09-29-2010, 04:25 PM
 
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With dd#1, we found out in early December. I gave hubby a gift bag with a pair of baby shoes and a baby onesie with my company's logo. We gave our parents some kind of grandparent-y books as Yule gifts. My sister had been waiting for AGES to be an aunt; she collects keychains, so for her Yule gift that year I had a pretty sterling silver keychain engraved with Aunt T---. She had the BEST reaction! LOL We told EVERYBODY before I'd hit the 8 week mark.

With dd#2, I was trying to figure out a cute way to tell dh, but I had to cancel an appointment for a colposcopy and he wanted to know why. I burst out "because I'm pregnant!" Not the way I wanted to tell him! LOL We waited until 12 weeks to tell everybody that time.

With this baby, I tossed the digital test to dh and said "SURPRISE!" So exciting, right? Anyway, I wanted to wait a while this time, too, but dh can NOT keep a secret. We've already told everybody and I'm just 5 weeks today.

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#3 of 42 Old 09-29-2010, 04:45 PM
 
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I don't know how I'm telling people. I'm not good at cutesy, fun ways.

With DS, DH was the one who read the pregnancy test so no need to tell him. We told our parents and my sister at 7 weeks - with my parents we showed them a pic of the BFP on my laptop. Ooooo exciting. With DH's parents we just told them. And everyone else we just told around 12 weeks, at Christmas. Oh, we did do one slightly more creative thing I guess, it was a spur of the moment thing. My aunt had gotten a robe for Christmas that she said made her look old (this was before I got there), so I made her try it on and then said, "That robe makes you look so young, BUT you're going to be a great-aunt."

This time I walked into the bathroom with DH in the morning the day I got my 14th high temp and said, "So, are you ready for a second child?" Yeah, again, real suave. And I've told my one friend when she asked what was new...haven't told anyone else yet. I probably will tell people fairly soon, as it comes up, and probably won't do anything creative.

So this big long post to say...I'm boring!

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#4 of 42 Old 09-29-2010, 05:40 PM
 
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We told our parents and siblings and best friends this weekend. It's really early, and they know that, but we want everyone on the journey with us from the beginning. Wherever it takes us. We didn't do anything special, just gave them a call and said "We've got some news! We're pregnant!" I guess we'll just slowly tell more and more people the further along we get. We're going to see our midwife in two and a half weeks and then maybe I'll make an announcement on Facebook or something. Like I said, it's early but we want everyone on our side if something happens. And I don't think anything is going to happen.

One of my SILs said "You should have invited me over for dinner with some Prego spaghetti sauce or something" but we're just not those kind of people.

When I'm ready for the teachers at DD's school to know I'll probably buy her an "I'm a going to be a big sister" T-Shirt but right now DD doesn't even know.
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#5 of 42 Old 09-29-2010, 08:07 PM
 
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With DS and our 2 m/c pgs, we told everyone right away -- with no special effects. I was always glad to have told everyone as I firmly believed that I didn't want to go through a m/c in secret (and I still think that). But this time we haven't told anyone... except one of my best friends who is due in late May (she had just told me) and my dentist (re: no xrays). Haven't told my sisters or family or anyone else. Not sure why it feels ok this time not to be talking about it yet -- it's kind of like our little secret. I would still tell many (but not all -- i.e. facebook, etc) if we had a m/c before telling, so that isn't why. Maybe because my friend wants to wait to tell and it feels like we have shared news (or at least her news is an inter-related part of my news, if that makes sense). And also because I have MDC, my DH and my good friend to 'talk' to about it -- it doesn't seem that urgent to tell others yet.

That said, if I feel crummy and need any concessions at work I'll certainly tell anytime. Otherwise, I'm kind of excited to have a secret for now

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#6 of 42 Old 09-29-2010, 08:56 PM
 
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We have told about half of people. All of our close friend and family know.
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#7 of 42 Old 09-29-2010, 10:42 PM
 
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You guys inspired me!!!

I went to the store and found a little onesie that says "Daddy's Little Angel"! I put it in his drawer and he just found it a few minutes ago when dd was right in our room. He gave me a look and said "someone's been putting things in my drawer!"

I never did anything like that before but I think it was a really good idea for us this time. Something light.

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#8 of 42 Old 09-30-2010, 12:45 AM
 
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I have told a few people. I am still really close with the online mama's I met in L's DDC four years ago and I told them within an hour of getting my first BFP. I was so freaked out I had to talk about it! lol I told a good friend who is a mama of three and she gave me this maniacal laugh! lol

And then of course I told DH. Nothing as nice as last two times I've given him this news. I gave him the old "we have to talk" and pulled the test out of my pocket. His eyes almost literally bugged out of his face and he asked "You're pregnant??!" And then he laughed too - but his wasn't menacing, more crazy. lol

We will not be telling close family for a while. I don't know how long I can hold out on my Mama, as we talk every day, but I wouldn't mind waiting until 12 weeks or so to tell my MIL. I love her to death, but she will be full of lectures on this subject.

We did a big sister shirt to announce our 2nd. It was funny to see how long it took them to notice!

mama to three amazing girls (05.07, 09.08 and 2.11) expecting #4 in July
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#9 of 42 Old 09-30-2010, 01:34 AM
 
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Aargh, I don't know!

With DD I jealously guarded the secret. I told Mum before 12 weeks, but pretty much no-one else; and told the rest of the family all together. Nothing cutesy, I don't do cutesy.

This time I actually want to tell people - at least, family and close friends. Not everyone from church. But one of my sisters, who has autism, can't keep a secret, knows everybody who ever lived and tends to run into people. So.

I'm not sure whether or not I should tell family, at least, before my sister's wedding (6 weeks away). We'll all be sharing a rented house and people might well notice me throwing up, looking suspicious in the tummy area, etc, and I don't want it to be this elephant in the room. But I don't want to overshadow her big day either.

Is it likely I'll be showing in 6 weeks' time? I'm 15DPO now. I didn't show early with DD - first baby, plus I have a long torso - but I don't want to count on it. And I still have to make my dress - I might design it with a slightly gathered front, just in case. Maybe an inverted pleat. Hmm.

I'll probably tell our flatmate after I blow up at him for no good reason in a fit of pregnancy-induced rage.

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#10 of 42 Old 09-30-2010, 03:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So many different perspectives and "styles". For our first, we gave my dad a Grandpa Father's day card. It said said, "Guess Who, Grandpa?" and had a bear covering it's eyes, then you open it's arms, and it says, "It's __________" and we put "A baby coming in Feb." He cried and my mom knew right away too. I guess we do cutesy! Everyone else got told in groups at specific mile markers: 8, 10, and 12 weeks based on our relationship with them.

But I also don't want to dominate the attention and "steal the show." My SIL really wants kids, but my brother is just not ready. She is going to feel it when I have two and she has none. Several friends of mine (close and far) are struggling with infertility. A dear friend at church is about to give birth to her first and have the spotlight on her in mid November.

But my DH just wants to sit on things for a while. I'm enjoying the funny things people say (I'm writing them down), and just the quiet awareness of my little one. It's not the high that my first was, but it is a good, warm, tender feeling deep inside. If I did have the awful experience of miscarrying, I would tell family and friends because I would need the support. So I think we might start telling people at 2 months. We shall see.

Oh, and I'm definitely buying a "Big Sister" shirt. Bring on the cutesy!

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#11 of 42 Old 09-30-2010, 11:26 AM
 
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With my daughter i told dh firs then he was only fiancee then my aunt then my mom and everyone else.

With my son i told my cousin asked if she'd be out here around that time frame since she usually comes out to ca from va durring the summer time.

With this one i haven't told anyone... dh is going to have a SA done today and i'm not gonna tell him til after i know he's done it because just incase something happens * i had 2 back to back m/c's between my two kids & this baby has been a very early m/c's non ever confirmed by drs though and has taken a a couple months past the 3 year mark to get pregnant with * then we won't have do that part of the infertility work up.

I'm thinking of doing a cute embroidery with the due date on it and convincing dh to go out to dinner tonight and give it to him. Not sure how we'll tell everyone else.


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#12 of 42 Old 09-30-2010, 06:06 PM
 
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With the first pg we waited til about 9 wks. We were going to wait until 12wks but people were starting to wonder why I wasn't drinking....you can't have golf without beer. We just told immediate family over dinner. And called some close friends and let them know. Then I put on FB something like "...has a bun in the oven and it should be ready by Oct." Oh...I told DH after he got home from a golf tourney and had been drinking...so he almost fainted.

This time I tested last Thurs morning before I had a golf tourney. My temp was still up at 14DPO so I tested because I wanted to know if it was safe to have a couple beers. I had no symptoms at all. I just walked in the other room with the test and told DH "looks like you can cancel that SA for next Wed"...he was happy to hear that.

I think we will wait a little while longer to tell people. One person knows and only because she asked if I wanted to have a margarita with her and she guessed why. Oh and my boss knows. Due to my mc, I was advised to stay home if I started spotting. So I wanted to let her know what was going on so she didn't think I was just calling in sick a lot.

I went to MW on Mon. We are going to do an early sono in 3 wks. But really if we had done a sono at that time with my first, it would have been fine. So I'm going to request another sono at my 12 wk appt. Hopefully, we can hold out and not tell people until after the second sono. Maybe we will tell people around Thanksgiving.

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#13 of 42 Old 09-30-2010, 10:18 PM
 
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I'm boring, too. I told my husband, "I investigated the source of the sore nipples this morning. They are caused by the manufacture of a very small person." His reaction? "You're pregnant? How do you feel about that?"

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#14 of 42 Old 10-01-2010, 09:11 AM
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Hm. DH was asking every day "did you test again?" so the day I finally got the BFP, I said, "Yup" and just sort of smiled. We called our family a couple days after that. (They're all out of town.) I was a little nervous calling our families at, like, 13 dpo, but oh well. Once we hear a heartbeat and we're closer to the end of the first tri, we'll tell everyone else, including our DDs. I'm impressed by everyone's intricate and fun "schemes"! I, um, never considered doing anything like that--never occurred to me!

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#15 of 42 Old 10-01-2010, 02:24 PM
 
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I took several tests (very early) that weren't positive. Eventually, DH stopped checking in about it. But, then I took one that WAS positive! I filled a box with stuffing and secured the positive test to the top and then wrapped it with a bow and had our 1 year old "give" it to him. He'd had an awful day at work and was so stressed out. I wasn't sure if this would make it worse or better. He cried tears of joy and was SO happy!

Later I asked my mom if she wanted to see the gift I'd gotten DH and she said, sure! She opened it and was so confused. Then she said, "Oh you got him a thumb drive! You got him a thum drive??? I've never seen one like that. Neat." And she handed it back to me. I had to make her look again and say, "MOM!!! Look really closely...what do you think those 2 lines are?" And then she cried. Also, tears of JOY!
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#16 of 42 Old 10-01-2010, 08:27 PM
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@ D-t-D: That is SO FUNNY.

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#17 of 42 Old 10-01-2010, 09:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redeyedvireo View Post
I'm boring, too. I told my husband, "I investigated the source of the sore nipples this morning. They are caused by the manufacture of a very small person." His reaction? "You're pregnant? How do you feel about that?"
This is pretty cute.

Well I told my whole family yesterday. Pretty much just told them, nothing exciting. My mom had a strange reaction, but I think she was happy. Everyone else was excited.

DH's family doesn't know yet. His grandpa died this morning so we probably won't be telling until after the funeral.

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#18 of 42 Old 10-02-2010, 12:02 AM
 
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OK, so I'm intrigued by all you ladies who are surprising your husband with the news. Am I just exceptionally codependent and/or talkative? 'Cause with DD he was right there when I took the test, and with this baby I'd been nattering about my symptoms for days and planning to go to the midwife's. If I ever dropped a test on his lap out of the blue I think he'd die of shock.

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#19 of 42 Old 10-02-2010, 06:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Me too, Smokering. Although, this time he rolled his eyes when I said I was going to take the test instead of telling me (last pregnancy) "I think you're pregnant, you should take the test." So, 4 days late or so, I picked up the test after my brother's wedding (Can we say highly emotional everyone?) and although I got a 3 pack, I only used one! I blithly gave the other two tests to my midwife after my daughter's birth for other women to use. Then prompty had to go out and buy 5 more tests because of wonky AF while breastfeeding. This time, I just had some in my closet. And THIS pregnancy, I've used two tests so far. The whole process is totally wrapped up in my DH. He's not in the room holding my other hand and watching me POAS (as I've seen in some commercials), but he's just about as involved!

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#20 of 42 Old 10-02-2010, 12:21 PM
 
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I have a history of miscarriages (3 miscarriages and this is my 4th pregnancy). if we're lucky enough for this pregnancy to keep progressing we're going to wait until about 12 weeks to "spill the beans ". That puts us around Thanksgiving, so the plan is to wear a shirt to Thanksgiving dinner that says something like "I'm so thankful for a healthy pregnancy!". That's mainly for my side of the family and it will also be my facebook status. I think we'd have to tell my DH's side of the family 2 weeks earlier because of a clothes shopping girls' trip. I feel like I'm already starting to show at 5 weeks so I think it would be pretty obvious at 10 weeks. With them, the plan is to pick up my nephew from daycare and put a "I FINALLY have a cousin!" onesie on him and wait for everyone to notice ! Those are the plans anyway. I'm still being VERY cautious !

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#21 of 42 Old 10-03-2010, 12:57 AM
 
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This is my first pregnancy and I just found out today! I went to pee just after rolling out of bed pretty much naked and used an IC. When I saw two lines, I just started to shake, and took an FRER right away. Positive. I told my hubby who was having breakfast in the kitchen and surprisingly, since it's taken almost a year for us to get pregnant, he was nonchalant and just kind of smug about it.

I texted my two best friends back home right away, told one of my friends here and my boss. I really want to wait to tell our parents but unfortunately I think it's going to be a little hard for us to wait.

My MIL is an avid knitter, so I'm planning on buying a giant ball of some hideous "BABY" yarn from Walmart and chucking it at her, saying "I think you're going to need this pretty soon".

I still can't believe this is happening..

I'm a twenty-something Canadian girl married to my sweetheart and due in June with Baby #1
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#22 of 42 Old 10-05-2010, 12:32 AM
 
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I've told most of my good friends because I need the emotional support; dh is out of town on a work trip and I'm dealing with a lot of stress. I had to tell dh over the phone. He's staying with his dad, so he told his dad and some of his friends, but we aren't telling my family until Thanksgiving, when I'll be 12 weeks. Last time I was pregnant, when I miscarried, breaking that news to my family was the worst part of the whole ordeal and I do NOT want to go through that again.
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#23 of 42 Old 10-07-2010, 05:07 AM
 
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This time, I showed dh the test and asked how many lines he saw.
Kids all took turns adding their vote. lol

I wouldnt mind NOT telling anyone ;-)
My moms the only one who wouldve been happy for us-the rest of both of our families think we are rather crazy/stupid/irresponsible/etc.
This will be our 8th baby.
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#24 of 42 Old 10-07-2010, 10:08 PM
 
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This time I taped the positive test to the back of a piece of construction paper and on the front wrote something about this being a coupon for his birthday present (May 2011) for "1 guilt free visit to the urologist in June of 2011"

He plans to get the big V after our last baby, which this will be.

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#25 of 42 Old 10-08-2010, 01:12 PM
 
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Wow some of you ladies are creative

We just...tell people lol I suppose I did something somewhat creative in that our 5 year old told my mom and sister that she already knew what she was getting for her 6th birthday (the sibling she's been asking for is due around her birthday). It took them a minute to figure it out but everyone is happy.

Everyone on my Facebook knows and everything. In the sad case of a loss, I am not the type to grieve alone in silence so everyone would have known anyway.

My husband, well I took a test before he left for work that day and it was barely visible, it almost looked like an evap line. So I got a 3 pack of FRER tests and they were all glaringly positive so I picture-messaged them on his phone.

His response was he had to get something out of the car... (as in, drive away ) No but he was really happy, we're just funny like that :P

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#26 of 42 Old 10-08-2010, 01:43 PM
 
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Sunday I had a BFP. I took a test Friday, BFN, Saturday, I think it was negative. Sunday we drove to pick up two piglets. On the way I felt nauseous, my water tasted like old ice, LOL. I came home and while dh and the kids were putting the pigs away I took a test. It was positive right away. I ran out of my room and told some of my kids in the house. Then dh came in and I showed him the test. I hinted at it on facebook, told my mom Wednesday. It is so funny though b/c dh said every month, you are not pregnant, then this month he said I was right away and I thought I wasn't after Friday's negative. He was right all along. I told my friends as well.

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#27 of 42 Old 10-08-2010, 02:09 PM
 
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I told my sister, but other than that we are waiting a bit to make sure that this one sticks.
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#28 of 42 Old 10-08-2010, 03:01 PM
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@Smokering: Yeah, I was yammering to DH about ovulation and jumping on him systematically, then talking to him about symptoms 8 days later before the test was positive. I'm a planner. I cannot imagine getting to the point of dressing my daughter in a cute onesie to spill the beans!

Also, here's another story. Went to a potluck Sunday. A friend walked over to me and DH (in a group of people) and said to me, "Are you pregnant? Because you keep touching your stomach!" I was like, "Um. Er. I was just, um, laughing about something and grabbing my belly?" Later she asked again (this time not in front of people) and I had to just come out and tell her. I can't lie to someone's face. So she knows.

Really?! So I guess I am telling people, just with nonverbal cues...

SAHM to Ada 8/15/2006, Calla 11/22/2008, and Wright 6/16/2011

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#29 of 42 Old 10-08-2010, 03:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Bax, that's hilarious! I'm just waiting for something like that to happen to me. Of course, if I'm touching my tummy, it's probably because I feel so lousy right now, Bleh.

I am going to spend the night at our Church's ladies' retreat. Yup. My DH says, "If you throw up there, it's ALL over." Personally, I think it's going to be me looking green and eating little snacks during non meal times that's going to give me away.

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#30 of 42 Old 10-08-2010, 11:06 PM
 
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Also, here's another story. Went to a potluck Sunday. A friend walked over to me and DH (in a group of people) and said to me, "Are you pregnant? Because you keep touching your stomach!" I was like, "Um. Er. I was just, um, laughing about something and grabbing my belly?" Later she asked again (this time not in front of people) and I had to just come out and tell her. I can't lie to someone's face. So she knows.
Goodness, that's rude! WHY do people think it's OK to ask this question? Do they really think we're tiptoeing around going "Oh man, I'd love her to know I'm pregnant but I can' t figure out how to enunciate the words... if only she'd ask me!"???

I've already lied once. A woman I don't know rang up to ask me to do her daughter's wedding cake, and during a TWENTY-FOUR MINUTE conversation randomly blurted out "Are you pregnant?" I was completely thrown and stammered "Er, n-no, where did you hear that?", and she said she was "just wondering". I immediately felt guilty, but really. I wasn't about to tell some annoying stranger before I told my MOTHER.

Speaking of which, I did tell my mother. We went out for the day yesterday, and it seemed kind of awkward not telling her, because it's been on my mind so much. She was very pleased, as I knew she would be, and we had a nice chat about midwives and names and DD and stuff. She's not telling anyone else - she thinks I should tell my sister who lives in London first, because she misses out on hearing a lot of news firsthand and it makes her sad.

Might have to tell our flatmate soon, though. I've been SO tired and dizzy - he's going to notice me creeping around looking like death at some point. Actually, this morning he asked me if I was sick and told me I looked like an old woman - and then hastily said that it was because I had a shawl wrapped around my shoulders.

If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

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