Will you be finding out the sex? Surprise? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 02:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm curious to know who among us is planning on learning of the babies sex before birth and who is waiting. Do you have a preference as to what sex your LO will be? Have you always found out before hand or kept it a special birth surprise? Mixed it up? No US, perhaps?

If our LO cooperates we'll be finding out before birth - can't wait to know I've always found out before birth. My SO would like to have a baby boy but will be thrilled with either, I have no preference. We have to wait until JANUARY!

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#2 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 02:13 PM
 
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We'll be finding out the gender . We did with dd, and that just fits with my general personality anyway. I was never one who could wait to find out information (must be the researcher in me). Also, knowing the gender helps me with bonding/personalization -- rather than referring to the baby as well, 'the baby' or whoever.

We have no preference

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#3 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 02:20 PM
 
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We haven't decided yet, but I'll probably cave in and find out.

We found out with both our boys, so we thought it might be nice to have our last pregnancy be a surprise...but waiting drives me crazy! lol I really should wait, though, as we don't care too much what sex it is. A girl would be nice for a change of pace, but a load of little boys would be fun, too!

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#4 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 02:21 PM
 
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I won't be having an U/S, so no chance of finding out. I have guessed all my babies sex correctly prior to birth, so I am guessing I will have a good idea in the next several months of what we are having. I secretly have a desire for twin boys, then we would be even 6 and 6, but really I don't much care.

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#5 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 02:37 PM
 
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I have several close friends who had false gender predictions on U/S! I was really not that confident in what I could learn. Plus, I don't really trust U/S. So with my daughter, she was a surprise! Oh, and such a wonderful, beautifully healthy little girl too. I was SURE It was going to be a boy though! It's tradition in my family to be 100% wrong, us mamas, though. I always said, though, that if my midwife said, "I think you should check this out with U/S." I wouldn't prevent them from finding out the gender. Now, after accidentally taking some drugs early, early in this pregnancy, I might just do the diagnostic U/S for safety and peace of mind. I'm still deciding. Again, I think I would want to know what I could know, but who knows! Surprises are fun too! Just not surprises when you have an entirely blue/pink nursery set up, etc.

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#6 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 03:06 PM
 
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We're finding out. DD was a surprise, and it was great, mostly. This time it will be better for me in terms of bonding with the baby. It was strange to me how I separated the concept of the baby in my belly and DD, the actual, real baby in my arms. Maybe I'm just weird though.

Plus, I want cute newborn dipes this time!! Not that there is anything wrong with pale green and yellow ducks, and not that boys and girls have to be blue or pink, but family members sent us a lot of stuff ahead of time and it would be nice to have some things that are more gender specific. Or at least not all yellow ducks.

Overall, it will help me to know the little person inside, and focus on him or her, rather than an unknown. Labor and birth will bring me enough unknowns.

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#7 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 03:13 PM
 
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No. Unless DH remembers that I promised him we could second time around because he let me not find out last time (and I had 11 ultrasounds with DD). I really liked having the surprise. And I really liked that DH got to tell me the gender, and that there was one thing he got to find out before me. Now, we were both completely convinced the baby was a boy ... oops!
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#8 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 03:21 PM
 
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Yeah, it was weird that I "missed" my little boy and sometimes, like in late night stupor, I forgot what gender my baby was!

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#9 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 03:21 PM
 
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We plan to find out- I have with all my kids. We would love to have a boy this time since our last one was a girl....but honestly with my history I just want a healthy take home baby!! :-)

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#10 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 03:45 PM
 
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I really want to know with this one but DP is holding firm on the Surprise... so it will be another suprise

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#11 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 04:28 PM
 
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We found out with my daughter, but I think I might like to try for the surprise this time, if for no other reason than to just do things a little differently to have a different experience. My husband is of the mind that "there are enough surprises with a new baby" so he would, I'm sure, like to find out.

One of the reasons I'd rather not is because I don't want our families genderizing this kid before it even comes out with frills and lace (or trucks and sports) themed gifts. Coming home from my baby shower with a suitcase full of pink stuff last time really overwhelmed me. I was like, "I hope this ultrasound was right, because this is a lot!" I also could do without the comments like, "Oh, one of each, now it's perfect/complete!" as if it wouldn't be perfect with two of the same, or if we have another daughter, comments like "Oh, you'll have to try again for a boy..." when we aren't planning on having more than two...that kind of thing. But I guess all of that stuff surfaces after the birth anyway, so there's no real way to escape it.

I guess we'll wait until that 20 week ultrasound rolls around and make a decision...

Mama to one darling and wild 3 year old, and growing a tiny new June Bean.
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#12 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 04:47 PM
 
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We found out with the first two, our adopted princess was a surprise as we put in for either and now DH says we need the last to be a surprise. I agreed but now am getting itchy because I am tired of knitting green and yellow *LOL*

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#13 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 04:56 PM
 
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This is going to be our first UC babe, so no ultrasounds, I am SO excited to find out when he or she is born! What an awesome thing I can't wait to experience.

Claire, book reading, tree loving, coffee drinking wife to K, and happy SAHM to ds G Feb '09 home birth, dd C ~ free birthed June '11, and now a new lil surprise due October 2012 joy.gif

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#14 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 04:59 PM
 
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I totally get what you're saying. And just out of curiosity where in Brooklyn are you? We're in midtown right now, ugh, but are looking at places in brooklyn.

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Originally Posted by BarefootinBrooklyn View Post
We found out with my daughter, but I think I might like to try for the surprise this time, if for no other reason than to just do things a little differently to have a different experience. My husband is of the mind that "there are enough surprises with a new baby" so he would, I'm sure, like to find out.

One of the reasons I'd rather not is because I don't want our families genderizing this kid before it even comes out with frills and lace (or trucks and sports) themed gifts. Coming home from my baby shower with a suitcase full of pink stuff last time really overwhelmed me. I was like, "I hope this ultrasound was right, because this is a lot!" I also could do without the comments like, "Oh, one of each, now it's perfect/complete!" as if it wouldn't be perfect with two of the same, or if we have another daughter, comments like "Oh, you'll have to try again for a boy..." when we aren't planning on having more than two...that kind of thing. But I guess all of that stuff surfaces after the birth anyway, so there's no real way to escape it.

I guess we'll wait until that 20 week ultrasound rolls around and make a decision...

Claire, book reading, tree loving, coffee drinking wife to K, and happy SAHM to ds G Feb '09 home birth, dd C ~ free birthed June '11, and now a new lil surprise due October 2012 joy.gif

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#15 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 05:13 PM
 
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Hi OrangeMoon, NYC neighbor! We're in Park Slope but actually planning a mid-winter move to Connecticut. My husband has a job there now and has been commuting but we figure with a new little one on the way we'd like him to be a little closer during the days--and having a yard to run around in will be a welcome change!

Mama to one darling and wild 3 year old, and growing a tiny new June Bean.
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#16 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 05:26 PM
 
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I definitely have to find out. With my DD, I had one 22 week ultrasound to find out her gender because I couldn't stand it anymore! I KNEW she was a girl and i almost threw up on the way because I was so nervous about it. I had a lot of pressure to have a girl though... all of my sisters have had boys- 7 of them! Anyway, we will find out with this one too because we are hoping girl again... and I have to know if I need all new boy things! Can't wait for 14 more weeks to pass by and we will know!

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#17 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 05:29 PM
 
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I intentionally found out, and am glad I know. Now I'm preparing myself to be the mother of two boys, a dominantly male household. Reading some books on the issue. Preparing my son for a brother, and the grandparents for another boy. Stuff like that.
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#18 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 07:47 PM
 
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I found out with the older two, but I had OB care and they did a lot of ultrasounds.

With younger dd we did not find out, and did not have any ultrasounds after one at 7 weeks. We have midwifery care.

We will likely not have any ultrasounds this time around, unless the midwives feel it is needed. I doubt they will, they are pretty hands off. I asked DH if he wanted to know if we had only one (My best friend had surprise twins when I was newly pregnant so that was a concern for him at first. ) and he said no way.

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#19 of 59 Old 10-20-2010, 09:51 PM
 
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We are finding out and will also be going a 3-d ultrasound for fun and to confirm the gender. I did that with my other two kids.

Oh and with my first pregnancy the only name we could agree on was a girl name and we had a girl.

With my pregnancy with my son, that name was the only name we could agree on still ( we agreed on it with the m/c that happened before getting pregnant with him) and we ended up having a boy.


With this baby there is one name my husband said was okay and was sorta trying to say we need to pick a different name because our 7 year old was having issues saying it but if said to her a few times and ask her to repeat it she says it just fine. The name i really like and he sorta liked is a girl name.

I kinda hope it's a girl, but would be happy with another boy.




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#20 of 59 Old 10-21-2010, 12:28 AM
 
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we will wait and see. i like that moment of discovery after the birth and i will be the one to say what the baby is or maybe not maybe just cuddle the baby. with my son i wanted to know what name to call him so i looked and said "hi dmitri" that was nice i may do that again.

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#21 of 59 Old 10-21-2010, 01:48 AM
 
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I really want to find out but DH prob won't. Since I'll prob be the only one there, I may just find out and not tell Our province is now supposedly charging $50 if you want to find out the gender (the u/s is covered , they just won't tell you boy or girl) - a major cash grab - but I still want to know. I guess they figure people are paying for the 3d u/s they might as well make a buck.

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#22 of 59 Old 10-21-2010, 04:07 PM
 
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I'm not sure yet. This is #3 and for the first 2 I could not wait to find out. I just had to know asap! Even before getting pregnant this time around dh and I talked about waiting to find out. As of right now I still want to wait but when that 18 week sono rolls around I might change my mind! We have 2 girls. I don't have a preference. Either way would be great.

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#23 of 59 Old 10-21-2010, 06:17 PM
 
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I haven't decided yet. I'd kinda like to, because of knitting - I'm partway through my second green item. Both things I've knitted so far are gender-neutral, but a lot of the patterns I like aren't - and I don't just mean "pink vs blue". There are some really chunky, "manly" little vests that would look a bit severe on a girl baby, and I have an idea for a gorgeous pink Celtic-knot-cabled pinafore I'd like to do for a girl. I know the baby itself won't care, but I don't want to miss out on all the lovely not-gender-neutral patterns out there. (The chances of me having time/energy to knit after the baby's born are.... slim.)

The only thing that's stopping me is disapproval from my mum and sister, who both seem to feel it's morally virtuous to be surprised. My sister said it would be "a pity" to find out, and Mum made clucking noises and said she always liked to be surprised after labour. Which was actually my reasoning with DD, but to be honest, at the end of MY labour she would have had to be a magical unicorn baby to get much of a reaction.

I may brave their disapproval out of sheer persnicketiness. We'll see. It annoys me that they think it's a moral issue - I mean, come on, Mum HAD ultrasounds with all of us and was happy to not be "surprised" by our femur lengths and kidney structures! But anyhoo.

DH is pretty prosaic about it - thinks it would be handy to find out ahead of time in terms of clothing and thinking of names. I don't think he'd care if I decided not to, though. We definitely won't do a 3D ultrasound or an extra ultrasound just to peek, but I do plan on having the 20-week anatomy scan.

I guess I do have a preference, kinda, but nothing unto death. I think it'd be nice for DD to have a sister - I have five and no brothers, so I'm much more familiar with girls and think it'd be sad if she missed out on a close-in-age sister relationship. And of course, we have lots of girl clothes... and again, I have a slight suspicion some members of my family might vaguely disapprove of me having a boy, as if having girls is also morally virtuous! (My family is weeeeeeird.)

On the other hand, I've finally found a few boys' names I really like - Liam, Linden, Lachlan and a few others - and I don't have a strong candidate for a favourite girls' name right now. So that kinda sways me towards boy. And I have found a few patterns online recently that dispelled my "sewing for boys is no fun" mentality. So I wouldn't mind having a boy, I'd just have to adjust my ideas a bit.

Right now I think I want 3 children minimum, or 4 maximum. If I had a second girl I think I'd be really cruisey about the sex of the next two... whereas if this baby was a boy, I might be a little panicked during the next pregnancy or two, hoping I got another girl. Then again, I might decide I like parenting boys better! Who knows.

(Oops, sorry for the novel!)

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#24 of 59 Old 10-21-2010, 06:42 PM
 
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Haha. Love your posts, Smokering.

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#25 of 59 Old 10-21-2010, 06:49 PM
 
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I'm undecided. Husband wants to know ASAP; I can see the appeal in a surprise at the birth, but I can also see the appeal in advance notice. I don't think I'll push it. I'm going with a midwife and no OB, so there won't be any automatic ultrasounds; I think we'll just wait and see if we need an ultrasound for any other reason, and make our choice then.

I have a feeling it's a girl though. (Which means it's probably a boy.)
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#26 of 59 Old 10-21-2010, 11:20 PM
 
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We're going for the surprise. I just love that moment...

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#27 of 59 Old 10-21-2010, 11:35 PM
 
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we found out with the first (ds) because dh really wanted to know. i told him i want to be surprised at birth with this one. but since we haven't told people yet, i'm not sure if i will cave to pressure to find out. i just want to have the experience of giving birth and finding out then... esp since i'm hoping to vbac, it would make the whole thing more in line with my hopes for the birth process than the last time was. not that i am all hung up on it, but would love to have different experience this time.
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#28 of 59 Old 10-22-2010, 12:34 AM
 
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It's still really early and just sinking in that I'm even pregnant, so I haven't thought too much about it or discussed it with DP. I'm leaning towards being surprised, though.

We were surprised with DD1 and found out from the US with DD2. With DD1, her dad told me, "It's Sage. She's a girl," which was a nicer way of finding out than the US tech searching for genitalia. :P

Home birthing, extended bf, homeschooling, vegan lifestyle-living massage therapist mama to Grrl 1 (12/11/04), Grrl 2 (2/15/07), Grrl 3 (6/23/11), and ?! (10/14). Backpacking, kayaking, shoestring traveling adrenaline junky--I love talking all night around the campfire and drinking great craft beer!
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#29 of 59 Old 10-22-2010, 12:37 AM
 
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I think this one will be a surprise. We didn't know with dd but we did find out with ds. It doesn't really matter to me this time. I do have a strong feeling it's a girl though.

Mummy to dd (Jan 13, '07) born by emergency c-section at 35 weeks due to severe pre-e  :ribboncesarean.gif and ds (Jan 30 '09) :hbac.gif and stork-suprise.gif    (06/11)
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#30 of 59 Old 10-22-2010, 12:40 AM
 
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We found out with the first two but this one I really want to be a surprise. We are having our first homebirth and were not going to have an u/s so it was going to be easy but now the midwife wants me to have a level 2 u/s since we have with the other two (no complications with the other two just a family hx of spina bifida) Hubby said he won't push the issue if I don't want to know but midwife said to really let the u/s place know we do not want to know esp since they will post it everywhere on all paperwork. My mom really wants to know and said she will come to the u/s with me find out and not tell me, but that is not going to happen... LOL

Jennifer Wife to my wonderful Husband, Jeremy, mama to my two amazing children DD B (04/14/2006), DS I (10/27/2007) and a precious little one due in June
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