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#31 of 49 Old 12-10-2010, 02:13 PM
 
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I'm glad you got to record the hb!  joy.gif  Neither of us thought to pull out my camera during my sono until AFTER we were driving away from the hospital, but hopefully we'll remember next time.

 

I'm feeling majorly guilty right now.  We haven't told our families yet, we're waiting til we go visit at Christmas.  But every time we see family friends that live in town they say "So, anything new?"  And we can't very well tell them because they would immediately tell my fam, so we just lie and say "um... no, not really."  When we decided (at 5 weeks) to wait to tell everyone I thought it would be no big deal, but now with midwife visits and sono pictures and everything I feel really bad about keeping it a secret.  greensad.gif  But at the same time, we have a really cute plan for breaking the news, and I don't think it would be as much fun if I just called and dropped it on 'em, you know?  GUH!

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#32 of 49 Old 12-10-2010, 04:54 PM
 
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Having a crummy December...its a bad month for me in general, but today alone has been ridiculous. Spent all day running round with 3 kiddos trying to get BIL's car back on the road with tags and insurance and lets just say it didnt happen. Lost my wallet and then got a call from our landlord's maintanence man that he found it by the dumpster this morning, which would be because our dog got into the (read: overflowing because landlord is too cheap to get a bigger/second dumpster to handle the amount of trash his tenants make) dumpster and it was all over the ground. So there we were last night at 10pm cleaning up trash. So after spending all day out I come home to find out...my dog is dead. We don't know if it was something she ate out of the trash or the heartworms took her (she was only 4 or 5 years old) but I've been crying for most of the afternoon because I wasn't here with her. She went out and laid down under the group of trees in the backyard and appears to have laid down to sleep and just didn't wake up. DH is burying her now and I'm just feeling at the end of my stress rope.

 

I had my first midwife appt. this evening (bittersweet.) Heartbeat was fine, but I'm measuring 4 weeks ahead (18 weeks) which doesn't jive with my dates so we'll keep an eye on it and see what happens. I couldn't even enjoy it. All I could think about was getting home and curling up in a ball.


-:¦:-♥Sarah Lynne♥-:¦:-Wife to Michael and Mommy to Austin(5), Steven(3), Tristyn(1), and Laurelyn (6/3/2011)

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#33 of 49 Old 12-10-2010, 05:21 PM
 
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Oh honey, I'm so sorry hug2.gif
 

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Originally Posted by Mommy2Austin View Post

Having a crummy December...its a bad month for me in general, but today alone has been ridiculous. Spent all day running round with 3 kiddos trying to get BIL's car back on the road with tags and insurance and lets just say it didnt happen. Lost my wallet and then got a call from our landlord's maintanence man that he found it by the dumpster this morning, which would be because our dog got into the (read: overflowing because landlord is too cheap to get a bigger/second dumpster to handle the amount of trash his tenants make) dumpster and it was all over the ground. So there we were last night at 10pm cleaning up trash. So after spending all day out I come home to find out...my dog is dead. We don't know if it was something she ate out of the trash or the heartworms took her (she was only 4 or 5 years old) but I've been crying for most of the afternoon because I wasn't here with her. She went out and laid down under the group of trees in the backyard and appears to have laid down to sleep and just didn't wake up. DH is burying her now and I'm just feeling at the end of my stress rope.

 

I had my first midwife appt. this evening (bittersweet.) Heartbeat was fine, but I'm measuring 4 weeks ahead (18 weeks) which doesn't jive with my dates so we'll keep an eye on it and see what happens. I couldn't even enjoy it. All I could think about was getting home and curling up in a ball.




Boys: 12/94, 1/99, 11/03, 6/11. Girls: 11/06, 10/09, 12/12 2ndtri.gif

 
       

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#34 of 49 Old 12-10-2010, 05:50 PM
 
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OMG, how terrible.  I am so sorry about your dog.  I have lost several pets over the years and it is such a traumatic thing to go through, especially in early pregnancy.  You and your family are in my thoughts.  I truly hope that the coming days and weeks and months bring some relaxing, joyful (or maybe just 'normal') times for you.  Deep breaths, right?

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Having a crummy December...its a bad month for me in general, but today alone has been ridiculous. Spent all day running round with 3 kiddos trying to get BIL's car back on the road with tags and insurance and lets just say it didnt happen. Lost my wallet and then got a call from our landlord's maintanence man that he found it by the dumpster this morning, which would be because our dog got into the (read: overflowing because landlord is too cheap to get a bigger/second dumpster to handle the amount of trash his tenants make) dumpster and it was all over the ground. So there we were last night at 10pm cleaning up trash. So after spending all day out I come home to find out...my dog is dead. We don't know if it was something she ate out of the trash or the heartworms took her (she was only 4 or 5 years old) but I've been crying for most of the afternoon because I wasn't here with her. She went out and laid down under the group of trees in the backyard and appears to have laid down to sleep and just didn't wake up. DH is burying her now and I'm just feeling at the end of my stress rope.

 

I had my first midwife appt. this evening (bittersweet.) Heartbeat was fine, but I'm measuring 4 weeks ahead (18 weeks) which doesn't jive with my dates so we'll keep an eye on it and see what happens. I couldn't even enjoy it. All I could think about was getting home and curling up in a ball.




hh2.gif Proud Mama to DS1 09/07 ribboncesarean.gif, DD 07/09 hbac.gif, and DS2 06/11 uc.jpg.  Feeling more and more blessed with each day!

 

 
 
 
  

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#35 of 49 Old 12-10-2010, 07:02 PM
 
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Thanks ladies. I'm a little better now. Still not sure how to tell the kids. I didn't have the heart to tell my 4.5 yo when he asked where daddy was that he was burying Jamie.


-:¦:-♥Sarah Lynne♥-:¦:-Wife to Michael and Mommy to Austin(5), Steven(3), Tristyn(1), and Laurelyn (6/3/2011)

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#36 of 49 Old 12-11-2010, 08:54 PM
 
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So sorry, Sarah Lynne!  I bawl about stupid things now that I'm pregnant, it must be so hard when it's something serious that you feel deeply. :(  Loosing a pet is tough.

 

So, I've had an interesting couple of days in the pregnancy department.  I've learned that there are two other ladies in church who are due in June also!  It's fun and weird and special and sort of makes me one of the crowd.  I dunno.  I think it will be bonding and fun.  I'm due first (I could easily have a late May baby), but I'm the crazy crunchy, home birth, midwife-going, not-finding-out one.  I'm the one that knows radiation levels for dopplars and doesn't want synthetic fibers on or around my baby (especially while sleeping).  I'm going to have to walk a bit of a tightrope to be supportive and sharing, yet not preachy.  Two of us are having our second, but both the other ladies are quite a bit younger than I am.  So, it's going to be interesting! 

 

It is SO nice to have the cat out of the bag!  No more hiding.  I'm wearing maternity shirts (even though I really don't need to yet) and not sucking my tummy in! :)


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#37 of 49 Old 12-12-2010, 08:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Mommy2Austin View Post

Having a crummy December...its a bad month for me in general, but today alone has been ridiculous. Spent all day running round with 3 kiddos trying to get BIL's car back on the road with tags and insurance and lets just say it didnt happen. Lost my wallet and then got a call from our landlord's maintanence man that he found it by the dumpster this morning, which would be because our dog got into the (read: overflowing because landlord is too cheap to get a bigger/second dumpster to handle the amount of trash his tenants make) dumpster and it was all over the ground. So there we were last night at 10pm cleaning up trash. So after spending all day out I come home to find out...my dog is dead. We don't know if it was something she ate out of the trash or the heartworms took her (she was only 4 or 5 years old) but I've been crying for most of the afternoon because I wasn't here with her. She went out and laid down under the group of trees in the backyard and appears to have laid down to sleep and just didn't wake up. DH is burying her now and I'm just feeling at the end of my stress rope.

 

I had my first midwife appt. this evening (bittersweet.) Heartbeat was fine, but I'm measuring 4 weeks ahead (18 weeks) which doesn't jive with my dates so we'll keep an eye on it and see what happens. I couldn't even enjoy it. All I could think about was getting home and curling up in a ball.


hug2.gif our cat died within a month of bringing home our baby. it was really tough bc he was only 4, but we didn't know when we adopted him how sick he was. i remember driving with ds an hour away to an emergency vet and then back in the middle of the night to say goodbye. my dog of 15 years died when ds was 4 months old. it's never easy to say goodbye to our fur babies.


Angel (30), dh (31) (kd to H. 4/25/07 & K. 5/23/11), Vladimir 10/17/09 & Nikolai 7/6/11

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#38 of 49 Old 12-12-2010, 09:26 AM
 
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I think my biggest issue is I know I can't replace her. She was the absolute perfect dog.

 

Had a happy moment today. I felt little flutter kicks on my left side. The first I've actually felt and went "Oh there you are kiddo." Thankfully, work tonight is hospital duty (sit with an inmate who is in the hospital.) Basically, I make sure only hospital staff comes in the room and that the inmate doesn't leave. So it should be a very low key night, which is what I need.


-:¦:-♥Sarah Lynne♥-:¦:-Wife to Michael and Mommy to Austin(5), Steven(3), Tristyn(1), and Laurelyn (6/3/2011)

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#39 of 49 Old 12-12-2010, 09:32 AM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by JosieAK View Post

I'm going to have to walk a bit of a tightrope to be supportive and sharing, yet not preachy. 


always a great idea thumb.gif


Boys: 12/94, 1/99, 11/03, 6/11. Girls: 11/06, 10/09, 12/12 2ndtri.gif

 
       

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#40 of 49 Old 12-13-2010, 12:17 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kawa kamuri View Post



Quote:

Originally Posted by JosieAK View Post

I'm going to have to walk a bit of a tightrope to be supportive and sharing, yet not preachy. 


always a great idea thumb.gif


Yes, but so much harder when it's something I care passionately about (Do I tell the girl who bought the home dopplar that it uses a technology that emits radiation?  I know she got it for her peace of mind, but she COULD have no idea that it's probably not wise to use it everyday for long periods of time.  And that sort of thing.)  Then it's just compounded by the fact that I'm already making very different decisions that can come across non verbally as judging (even when the decisions are personal and not a judgement on anyone else at all).  It's just tricky.  But so far, so good! 

 

Oh, and the down side to wearing maternity clothes--I got touched on the belly THREE times this weekend by non family members.  Hmm.  Maybe I should switch to baggy sweaters!


Happy Wife  partners.gif since 12/31/05 ~ Blessed Mama to stillheart.gif 2/8/09 and stillheart.gif 6/11/11, with stillheart.gif on the way due 2/24/14

 

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#41 of 49 Old 12-13-2010, 01:14 AM
 
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Yes, but so much harder when it's something I care passionately about (Do I tell the girl who bought the home dopplar that it uses a technology that emits radiation?  I know she got it for her peace of mind, but she COULD have no idea that it's probably not wise to use it everyday for long periods of time.  And that sort of thing.)  Then it's just compounded by the fact that I'm already making very different decisions that can come across non verbally as judging (even when the decisions are personal and not a judgement on anyone else at all).  It's just tricky.  But so far, so good! 

 

Oh, and the down side to wearing maternity clothes--I got touched on the belly THREE times this weekend by non family members.  Hmm.  Maybe I should switch to baggy sweaters!


I think, personally, I would give her as much information as possible so she could make an educated decision for herself once she has all the pertinent information. I might say something like "Oh, being able to hear the baby's heartbeat at home is exciting/reassuring. I know there's some controversy about it, how are you feeling about the issue of exposure to radiation?", and if she doesn't know, then you have an opportunity to tell her.

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#42 of 49 Old 12-13-2010, 03:11 AM
 
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I don't think it is someone's place to interject about personal beliefs.  I happen to have a fetal doppler and use it every so often to check on my baby.  I purchased it after doing research, talking with my midwife about it and talking with my husband who is an engineer who has worked with this type of technology before.  There is a lot of data out there showing safe use and this is just another personal choice in life and should be left at that. Just as I have personal beliefs and information regarding meat, I would not interject my findngs on others unless asked.  Respect for decisions must come into play as I would not appreciate someone else doing it to me.

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#43 of 49 Old 12-13-2010, 07:09 AM
 
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I understand both points.

 

On one hand I wish I would have received some naturally minded guidance when I started having children. I had to rely on mainstream books, medically slanted family and obstetricians. While I did parent the way I felt was best and still do I also made a lot of uninformed choices especially in regard to birth. I didn't know any better and had no access ('94-'03) to internet or alternative media. I often feel envious of mamas who, in my opinion, get it "right" from the get go. I think they're so lucky to have so much information. 

 

On the other hand, I think a lot of mamas are hyper sensitive about criticism in regard to their parenting. I personally don't offer advice unless asked but that's my own comfort level. When my sister-in-law went back and forth about breastfeeding vs formula feeding her youngest I told her why BF was best, easiest and would most readily fit into the hectic life of a busy mom. She ended up FF and, while it's not the choice I would've made, I know she loves her little ones as much as I love mine. My sister wants to have her 1st baby so badly and we often discuss pregnancy and birth choices. I'm happy to be able to give her my experience from both sides, so to speak. 

 

As a parent I get negative and positive opinions all over the map. They range from how disgusting it is to BF, stupid it is to home birth to my not being radical or natural enough. As far as I can tell no matter what l do I'm messing this whole mama thing up. I do what I feel is best for my family with the humble relisation that most parents are doing the same whether or not it's by the same values.

 

In the case of to inform or not inform acquaintances - I think a tender, non-judgemental delivery is crucial. I'd probably keep my lips zipped but of course relaise not everyone feels that's the best choice.    


Boys: 12/94, 1/99, 11/03, 6/11. Girls: 11/06, 10/09, 12/12 2ndtri.gif

 
       

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#44 of 49 Old 12-13-2010, 02:45 PM
 
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I guess I would still try to take the approach of bringing it up for discussion, offering space for her to discuss the information she had on the subject, empathizing ("It can be so stressful to go for a long time without knowing how the baby is doing"), and offering information without being judgmental ("This was my experience, I based it on information from these sources, but I know it's so personal. How are you doing with the decision making process?")

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#45 of 49 Old 12-13-2010, 02:51 PM
 
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Thanks for the input, Mamas.  I definitely don't want to offend anyone, yet I care about these ladies too much to be mum ALL the time.  I will just have to be sweet and supportive no matter what.

And carefully share information when it's really important in a totally non threatening way.


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#46 of 49 Old 12-13-2010, 02:53 PM
 
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You seem like a really awesome lady, Josie. love.gif


Boys: 12/94, 1/99, 11/03, 6/11. Girls: 11/06, 10/09, 12/12 2ndtri.gif

 
       

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#47 of 49 Old 12-13-2010, 03:15 PM
 
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And carefully share information when it's really important in a totally non threatening way.



That sounds perfect, Josie. I second kawa kamuri's comment.

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#48 of 49 Old 12-13-2010, 03:45 PM
 
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Aw, Thanks.  redface.gif


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#49 of 49 Old 12-13-2010, 04:24 PM
 
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I like sharing and try hard not to judge, but present an alternative. It isn't always easy though. Some mamas have no idea that a crappy OB is not their only choice, or hospital birth, no U/S as a choice or whatever else.


Annabelle Catholic wife to Jeff '92 and mom to Makaley 19 Arden 19 Anniston 17 Taegan 14 Balen 12 Kellen 10 Ellery 8 Innish 6 Eiley 4 Finnian 3 Esca 2 our 8th uc.jpghomeschool.gifwaterbirth.jpgIHhbac.gifbftoddler.gifvbac.gifand expecting sweet pea January 2014.

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