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#1 of 30 Old 02-04-2011, 07:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What is everyone planning for their babymoon time?  Do you have specific ideas about it?  What are you planning to tell people?  What are you planning to do? Wear? Eat?  

 

I'm thinking about this lots because I know how important it is going to be this time around, for healing and my mental health.  Last time I had to be up and about too soon and took forever to heal, and had quite bad ppd.   I think I will let people know ahead of time that I am holding to the '15 day rule' that I've been hearing about - 5 days in the bed, 5 days on the bed and 5 days around it.  I think we will be fine with short visits starting the day after the birth, but since I will be in bed it will naturally keep them short and stress free.  We have a lot of out of town relatives, and our grandparents don't travel anymore, but I am going to be letting them know it will be at least 2 months before we go very far.

 

I want to treat myself to something nice to wear so I will be comfortable and feel good, and hopefully look ok in all our new baby photos :)  I don't know what would be good, maybe a comfy sleep bra and a light robe, so skin to skin is easy but I can cover up for company or whatever.

 

I'm hoping to have our relatives help out quite a bit with the kids, taking them to the park, or just hanging out with them for a couple of hours.  My sister and brother live in town and are good with that sort of thing.  I think my mother in law might even take them for a night or two which would be good, for them as much as me.


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#2 of 30 Old 02-04-2011, 10:00 PM
 
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Both DH and I will have the whole summer off, we are looking forward to some great family time!  

We are going to be spending about a month with our parents 600 miles North (they live in the same town).

We will probably do a little bit of camping too with the family.  Other than that, I'm am so excited for a nice relaxing summer letting our new family get to know each other.  


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#3 of 30 Old 02-05-2011, 03:25 AM
 
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I plan to take my full 12 weeks of work once the babe comes.  My beloved sadly will probably only get a week from work, but will probably still have to attend some class's.  I plan on having at least a three day lay-in, and the most of the first two weeks either in bed or on the couch.  Although this is my first I really believe that I will need that time to heal, as well as to cuddle the wee one.  I'm sure my friends will swing through, I'm betting my mother will take the pull out sofa for the first week or so. She did that with my sister, and I remember what a huge help she was, breastfeeding pro that she is, and she's an awesome cook, (although I plan to have meals stuck in the freezer ready to go).  The garden and flowers will need some light tending (i.e. watering in the morning and evening when its cooler), and general relaxation will hopefully abound.  (I have visions of myself in a comfy cotton dress with my new wee one nestled in close and my beloved by my side, outside enjoying the evening breeze.) luxlove.gif


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#4 of 30 Old 02-05-2011, 06:06 AM
 
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My babymoon will consist of chasing my 2 toddlers around and trying to keep on top of meals and basic needs. DH is starting a new full time job in March and won't have any time off when the baby comes... maybe a week, but that is doubtful as it will be their very busy season. Sigh...

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#5 of 30 Old 02-05-2011, 08:40 AM
 
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i hadn't thought much about this yet...thanks for the ideas!

 

a friend of mine just had her baby, and used this online tool for meal deliveries from friends:

 

http://takethemameal.com/

 

it's pretty cool.

 

xo


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#6 of 30 Old 02-05-2011, 10:32 AM
 
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I'm planning on barring visitors once we get home from the hospital (ASAP) for about a week to let us get used to being a family of 4. I'm going to make up some freezer meals beforehand, probably in March before it gets too hot to bake casseroles. My intention is to freeze individual portions, plus, like muffins and snack things. My parenting group provides 3 meals after baby. I'm sure friends will bring some by, too. We use foodtidings.com and have been really happy with it. (I'm the meals coordinator.) I'll be wearing jammies non-stop, I'm sure.


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#7 of 30 Old 02-05-2011, 10:39 AM
 
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I'm like Tracy, I'll be chasing my big kids around and keeping my house together. No real time for a babymoon here. The good news is that I'll have 8 or so weeks off of school before I have to go back for the Fall semester. That makes me sooooo happy!

 

Meal Train is another great way to set up meals for new mamas and anyone else that may need them. www.mealtrain.com


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#8 of 30 Old 02-05-2011, 10:47 AM
 
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The only thing I'm planning is to take it a bit easier this time than I did last time.  With the last one, Dh went back to work two days after birth and I was up doing all my usual stuff at that point.  This time I'm planning on taking a week to lay around and take it easy.  We shall see how that works out.  I'm 2000 miles away from anyone I know and at the same time I don't want my mother or MIL anywhere close to me.  :)


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#9 of 30 Old 02-07-2011, 08:17 AM
 
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i will be definitely wearing pj's or the robe over nursing bra. dh took off 3 wks (unpaid) with ds and would like to do it again, but we had a lot more $ saved up then. b/c he is the only one providing financial support i am hopeful that he will use whatever vacation he has left and then hopefully be able to work from home. my mil is hopefully driving down (5 hrs) to take care of ds during the birth, so she will probably hang around and help out for the 1st couple days to help out (she was great after ds' birth). my mom will probably drive down to visit right after (also 5 hrs, but she has another house 15 mins away from us). if my sister is in the country (she's planning to be in Italy in the beginning of July). i'm sure friends and family will stop by too. before ds was born i was positive i wanted no visitors for the 1st couple weeks, but i found that it was really nice having people drop by. dh has a issue with people bringing meals, but i belong to 2 groups that would offer, so i might take them up on it after dh returns to work away from home f/t. it depends how many freezer meals we can pack away before june.

 

i originally read this post and thought babymoon prebaby not postbaby. before ds was born we went to washington dc for a long weekend which was really nice. this time i don't think we have the funds for anything over night, but maybe a day trip somewhere. i will also be turning 30 in march and dh wants to do something, so we will see.


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#10 of 30 Old 02-07-2011, 08:33 AM
 
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Ahhh a babymoon :) With DD we were gearing up for DH's deployment so we were moving everywhere constantly. 10 days after she was born we stayed in NC (with all of our furniture, belongings, etc in VA) at our apartment waiting for the day that DH would officially leave for Afghanistan. It was hard to pack a suitcase and lay on the floor to watch tv, sleep on an air mattress for 2 weeks but looking back it was fun and sweet :) This time I am hoping to lay in bed for at least 5 days. I don't know what recovery is like for those who have had a natural/vaginal birth but the C-Section was terrible and the pain was horrible!!!! Especially getting in and out of bed, walking up and down stairs, etc. I also don't think I was able to rest like I should have last time. The meds were not helpful and I didn't want to take them, but after about 2 days of pain I would take one and then be a zombie. That didn't really work too well with a newborn who wanted to nuse every 2 hours :)

 

I'm praying that my inlaws can come down as soon as I'm in labor to watch DD at our house and then stay a couple days after we come home. Then my dad and step-mom will come down to stay for a few days to help take care of DD, and theeeeeen my mom and sister hopefully can come up and stay a few days. I have a really great friend who I'm sure will want to come down for a day or two and she is so helpful! Hoping that I won't care what a mess my house will turn into and where all the food is going to come from. ---- gotta make those freezer meals! My family is great and easy going but you still want them to be comfortable and have a nice visit... ya know??

 

Speaking of pajamas.... let me hear your recommendations for great nursing bras and tops! I still have a few from my DD but I wasn't in love with any of them.


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#11 of 30 Old 02-07-2011, 12:34 PM
 
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My babymoon will consist of dh taking 4 weeks or so off, he took 10 off last time. I will get up when I feel ready and leave my room when I am ready until then other people in my house will manage w/o me or I will direct from bed. If I don't want to do anything I won't. The only thing I will do is take baby to church on the first Sunday after birth and have baby baptized.


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#12 of 30 Old 02-07-2011, 12:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth View Post

I don't know what recovery is like for those who have had a natural/vaginal birth but the C-Section was terrible and the pain was horrible!!!! Especially getting in and out of bed, walking up and down stairs, etc. I also don't think I was able to rest like I should have last time. The meds were not helpful and I didn't want to take them, but after about 2 days of pain I would take one and then be a zombie. That didn't really work too well with a newborn who wanted to nuse every 2 hours :)

 

Speaking of pajamas.... let me hear your recommendations for great nursing bras and tops! I still have a few from my DD but I wasn't in love with any of them.

 

Recovery after vaginal birth was AMAZING, especially when compared to how it was after my c/s. With my daughter, my 2nd vaginal birth (no tearing either!) I was up and moving around like I never had a baby the same day. I was at the hospital and went home exactly 24 hours after she was born. I was camping and playing volleyball a week later. Just one more benefit to a vaginal birth, the short recovery time!

 

I got some soft cup (no wire) nursing bras from Wal-Mart for sleeping in and they were super soft and comfy. And affordable at about $10 each. I never bought a nursing top, not ever. I just wore my t-shirts and lifted them up to nurse or pump.
 


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#13 of 30 Old 02-07-2011, 03:28 PM
 
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryElizabeth View Post

I don't know what recovery is like for those who have had a natural/vaginal birth but the C-Section was terrible and the pain was horrible!!!! Especially getting in and out of bed, walking up and down stairs, etc. I also don't think I was able to rest like I should have last time. The meds were not helpful and I didn't want to take them, but after about 2 days of pain I would take one and then be a zombie. That didn't really work too well with a newborn who wanted to nuse every 2 hours :)

 

Speaking of pajamas.... let me hear your recommendations for great nursing bras and tops! I still have a few from my DD but I wasn't in love with any of them.

 

Recovery after vaginal birth was AMAZING, especially when compared to how it was after my c/s. With my daughter, my 2nd vaginal birth (no tearing either!) I was up and moving around like I never had a baby the same day. I was at the hospital and went home exactly 24 hours after she was born. I was camping and playing volleyball a week later. Just one more benefit to a vaginal birth, the short recovery time!

 

I got some soft cup (no wire) nursing bras from Wal-Mart for sleeping in and they were super soft and comfy. And affordable at about $10 each. I never bought a nursing top, not ever. I just wore my t-shirts and lifted them up to nurse or pump.
 



I want a vaginal birth so bad!!!!!!!!! My scar is still numb and sore to the touch. I remember trying to sit up and nurse DD in the middle of the night and tears streaming down my face from the pain of the c-section, not to mention having it added onto the pain of first time breastfeeding! Whenever I would lay her in the pack and play to take a shower or make dinner, the process of getting her down and then picking her up was dreadful... Let's pray again for a natural vaginal birth so I can be up and about enjoying my new baby :) Not crying and drugged haha


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#14 of 30 Old 02-07-2011, 06:04 PM
 
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My 8 VBACs awesome, recovery was nothing! My c/s w/ my twins sucked. 


Annabelle Catholic wife to Jeff '92 and mom to Makaley 19 Arden 19 Anniston 17 Taegan 14 Balen 12 Kellen 10 Ellery 8 Innish 6 Eiley 4 Finnian 3 Esca 2 our 8th uc.jpghomeschool.gifwaterbirth.jpgIHhbac.gifbftoddler.gifvbac.gifand expecting sweet pea January 2014.

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#15 of 30 Old 02-08-2011, 10:42 AM
 
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I am luckier than a lot of women in the US because my husband gets 3 months off this summer, however, this is not because of the baby but because he doesn't have to teach summer quarter, so I'm just lucky to be due in June (and hopefully won't go into labor until spring quarter is over). I can put off starting my new job for a while so we'll both be home until September. No specific plans yet for what to do during that period. I think it's so horrid that so many dads have to go right back to work when the baby is born! Particularly when there are other kids to watch too! The US really needs to be more like Europe in this respect.

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#16 of 30 Old 02-08-2011, 02:30 PM
 
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DH will probably take about 3 weeks paternity leave after baby arrives (he'll have more, but will take the rest later). My mother will arrive from overseas about 10-14 days after baby's due date. She was originally planning to come a few weeks later (which would have been better, TBH), but she got an expenses-paid trip from work so there's no way she could turn it down.

 

I'm planning on taking things really easy in the first few weeks (well, as much as possible with another kid to look after!). Healing was pretty rough last time, and I let myself get talked into going out to a family dinner when I was still in pain & bleeding heavily 10 days postpartum, which ended up making things worse. Lesson learned - no going out until I'm sure I'm ready.

 

Family is welcome to drop by for short visits in the first couple of weeks. People were generally pretty respectful last time - visits were few & far between, and no one stayed too long.


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#17 of 30 Old 02-10-2011, 11:39 AM
 
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Here is a great resource for getting help after the birth...

 

http://www.glorialemay.com/blog/?p=34


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#18 of 30 Old 02-10-2011, 02:28 PM
 
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Here is a great resource for getting help after the birth...

 

http://www.glorialemay.com/blog/?p=34



Wow, these are great!


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#19 of 30 Old 02-10-2011, 07:03 PM
 
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Has anyone considered hiring a postpartum doula? Particularly if you don't have family (or don't want family) around after the birth, or have older children, a postpartum doula can help you and the baby get the rest and bonding time you need. A postpartum doula will make meals, do your laundry, clean your house, take care of older children, hold the baby so you can have a shower, help with breastfeeding, and anything else you need!

 

Especially if your partner has to work, hiring someone to help can really provide the care you need and can help prevent postpartum depression. I also really liked Gloria Lemay's suggestions for letting friends and family know exactly what they can do!

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#20 of 30 Old 02-10-2011, 11:11 PM
 
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I know DH is planning on taking one weeks vacation maybe more since he has 4 weeks a year.  He also has a job that he can work from home and just do conference calls for his meetings, so that is pretty handy. I am hoping the baby comes before my LO is out of school for the summer so we have a chance to adjust before she is home 100% of the time. Of course babe is due right in the middle of alpcaa birthing season so it should get interesting for a bit.


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#21 of 30 Old 02-24-2011, 10:11 PM
 
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DH and I bring it up occasionally. Right now we're thinking him taking off 2 weeks. He's self employed so taking a lot of time off can be kind of stressful. Like you worry if you're gone too long people will find someone else or whatever, lol. Anyway, my Mama helped me postpartum last time and with this being a summer babe she would be able to again so I'm hoping for that. In terms of DH staying home if I have my Mom's help it's mostly just so we can give our toddler a ton of attention so he doesn't feel left out, or like last weeks news so to speak, lol.


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#22 of 30 Old 02-25-2011, 07:46 AM
 
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I know DH is planning on taking one weeks vacation maybe more since he has 4 weeks a year.  He also has a job that he can work from home and just do conference calls for his meetings, so that is pretty handy. I am hoping the baby comes before my LO is out of school for the summer so we have a chance to adjust before she is home 100% of the time. Of course babe is due right in the middle of alpcaa birthing season so it should get interesting for a bit.


LOL, I was reading all the comments, thinking "yeah ... I'll be chasing kids, feeding chickens, gathering eggs, weeding the garden, canning preserves and maybe even milking goats on my babymoon."  The work doesn't slow down, and dh doesn't get any paid time off.  Thankfully, my family all live close (some VERY close ... like next door) and will be around to help out.  I was hoping for an extended maternity leave this time, but the fates shut me down again ... 6 weeks and back to the paying job. ;)


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#23 of 30 Old 03-01-2011, 01:41 PM
 
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I want a vaginal birth so bad!!!!!!!!! My scar is still numb and sore to the touch. I remember trying to sit up and nurse DD in the middle of the night and tears streaming down my face from the pain of the c-section, not to mention having it added onto the pain of first time breastfeeding! Whenever I would lay her in the pack and play to take a shower or make dinner, the process of getting her down and then picking her up was dreadful... Let's pray again for a natural vaginal birth so I can be up and about enjoying my new baby :) Not crying and drugged haha


I wish you a beautiful birth and speedy recovery!  My scar is still numb too.  I am not feeling fetal movement for about 4" up from my scar and 6" wide (above and below yes), and last week I just realized that I am not feeling BH either - I'm 6 weeks behind when I felt them with DD, but I lay down for an hour or so with hands on belly and I can feel the BH in my hands!  I do NOT like this lack of sensation and odd feeling in that area one little bit!!  Ok, that might not have been consoling, but wanted you to know that you aren't the only one.  I've asked around a bit, and it seems to be fairly common.  Recovering from a CS is horrid. I am truly sorry that so many of us have to deal with it.

 

I'm planning on convincing myself to take it easy this time around.  I was so determined to not let the surgery get me down and make me miss out on things, that I pushed it too hard last time.  I was 'everything as usual' within 2 weeks (struggling internally), DH was out of town at 2.5 weeks, and was mobile and doing most things myself in less than 12 hours (overnight).  I bled for 15 weeks.  Lesson learned.   I was also in too much pain to really enjoy the new family, and don't think I really had a babymoon.  I started activist work almost immediately because I was so absolutely angered at the conditions surrounding my daughter's birth.  I expect it to be much different this time around.  DH will be taking 2 weeks or so.  My mother will likely visit (she did last time), and we have an offer from DH's aunt.  She has all sons and hasn't been able to help out with the grandkids, so when she asked if she could stay with us for a week, I welcomed her offer!  Seems win win.  Also, DD is the first girl on that side for 2 generations, so she wants to maximize time with her too - will help me out immensely!  And right now I'm considering taking a bit of time off before the birth too ... I have some extra vacation and need to decide whether to take it before or after.  I don't plan on returning to this job after my leave, so ...

 

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#24 of 30 Old 03-02-2011, 11:33 AM
 
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Thanks so much! I think that I definitely needed more recovery time as well. I wanted to be up and with everyone and spending time with my DH because he was deploying soon...like when DD was exactly a month old! This time even if I get my VBAC, I'm going to take it nice and slow.... and enjoy my BabyMoon---> My Dh says this is the last baby so I'm gonna soak up all the love I can get! :)

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Originally Posted by nononose View Post




I wish you a beautiful birth and speedy recovery!  My scar is still numb too.  I am not feeling fetal movement for about 4" up from my scar and 6" wide (above and below yes), and last week I just realized that I am not feeling BH either - I'm 6 weeks behind when I felt them with DD, but I lay down for an hour or so with hands on belly and I can feel the BH in my hands!  I do NOT like this lack of sensation and odd feeling in that area one little bit!!  Ok, that might not have been consoling, but wanted you to know that you aren't the only one.  I've asked around a bit, and it seems to be fairly common.  Recovering from a CS is horrid. I am truly sorry that so many of us have to deal with it.

 

I'm planning on convincing myself to take it easy this time around.  I was so determined to not let the surgery get me down and make me miss out on things, that I pushed it too hard last time.  I was 'everything as usual' within 2 weeks (struggling internally), DH was out of town at 2.5 weeks, and was mobile and doing most things myself in less than 12 hours (overnight).  I bled for 15 weeks.  Lesson learned.   I was also in too much pain to really enjoy the new family, and don't think I really had a babymoon.  I started activist work almost immediately because I was so absolutely angered at the conditions surrounding my daughter's birth.  I expect it to be much different this time around.  DH will be taking 2 weeks or so.  My mother will likely visit (she did last time), and we have an offer from DH's aunt.  She has all sons and hasn't been able to help out with the grandkids, so when she asked if she could stay with us for a week, I welcomed her offer!  Seems win win.  Also, DD is the first girl on that side for 2 generations, so she wants to maximize time with her too - will help me out immensely!  And right now I'm considering taking a bit of time off before the birth too ... I have some extra vacation and need to decide whether to take it before or after.  I don't plan on returning to this job after my leave, so ...

 



 


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#25 of 30 Old 03-03-2011, 05:03 AM
 
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I'm planning 1 week in bed, 1 week around bed (no stairs), and finally 1 week around the house.  Absolutely no visitors, no exceptions, the first week - well, except for the mw follow up & the pediatrician home visit.  I'm even iffy about visitors the 2nd week but I know my mom is going to be chomping at the bit to see LO.  For now I'm thinking immediate fam the 2nd week and extended fam can come the 3rd week.  DH will probably take a few days off after the birth & then work from home 2-3 days a week thereafter.  With this being our first & me becoming a SAHM I'm sooo looking forward to 3 straight weeks of no responsibility other than falling in love w/ LO & getting a great start at BFing!

 

I know nothing about making food to freeze... I'd better get started on learning!  If I don't stock our freezer I anticipate too much take out with DH in charge of meals. lol 


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#26 of 30 Old 03-03-2011, 05:19 AM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by lyndie View Post

Absolutely no visitors, no exceptions, the first week - well, except for the mw follow up & the pediatrician home visit.  I'm even iffy about visitors the 2nd week but I know my mom is going to be chomping at the bit to see LO.  


 

Really? You won't let anyone see the baby for the first week? May I ask why? I understand if you don't want friends and relatives to show up at inappropriate times and camp out, interrupting your rest, but it seems a little harsh to have a blanket ban. I've seen a number of posters here (on MDC, not necessarily on this thread)  proclaim a "no visit" period, and I always think it seems rather sad. Babies bring such joy to family and friends, it seems a bit extreme to keep them all at arms' length.  
 

 


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#27 of 30 Old 03-03-2011, 05:51 AM
 
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I don't plan on keeping them at arm's length after our baby moon.  I see it as very special, private time for our immediate fam (me, DH, LO) and feel they will have unlimited time to see her for the rest of her life, so the first week(s) are just for us.  This is what my gut/instincts are telling me to do.  ETA: I realize the norm in our culture is family meeting a new babe within days of birth but I don't feel compelled to do it this way.

 

On a side note, just about everything I do is viewed as unconventional by my fam (they are generally "anti-natural", anti-AP, etc) so I don't need/want them around "helping" when I'm developing my own parenting style.  I don't anticipate anyone is going to take it personally because even though they have vastly different lifestyles, they still mostly respect mine.  The last thing I need to subject myself to during this tender, precious time is baby-training advice or my mom gaging aloud every time I mention the words "organic" or "breastfeed" lol

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by slylives View Post


Quote:


 

Really? You won't let anyone see the baby for the first week? May I ask why? I understand if you don't want friends and relatives to show up at inappropriate times and camp out, interrupting your rest, but it seems a little harsh to have a blanket ban. I've seen a number of posters here (on MDC, not necessarily on this thread)  proclaim a "no visit" period, and I always think it seems rather sad. Babies bring such joy to family and friends, it seems a bit extreme to keep them all at arms' length.  
 

 



 


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#28 of 30 Old 03-03-2011, 07:06 AM
 
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Edited. 


Christ-centered loving wife & mama to 2 miracles! One & one . We live simply and mindfully. Expecting another blessing Feb 2015
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#29 of 30 Old 03-03-2011, 07:45 AM
 
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Dh is taking 7-10 weeks like last time, well he took 10 or so last time. 


Annabelle Catholic wife to Jeff '92 and mom to Makaley 19 Arden 19 Anniston 17 Taegan 14 Balen 12 Kellen 10 Ellery 8 Innish 6 Eiley 4 Finnian 3 Esca 2 our 8th uc.jpghomeschool.gifwaterbirth.jpgIHhbac.gifbftoddler.gifvbac.gifand expecting sweet pea January 2014.

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#30 of 30 Old 03-03-2011, 07:18 PM
 
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I've always heard of babymoom as referring to a vacation taken by mom and partner during the pregnancy; never in this context!

 

But that is besides the point. With DD, DH had been deployed 10 days prior, so my mom was with me and then my dad drove down to collect our stuff and my dog. At 5 days old, we ladies flew back to my parents' house for my 6 week maternity leave. It hadn't really occurred to me that I have much of a choice about how it will all go down this time around!

 

I suppose I'd like a week or so to veg around the house with just the 4 of us. I've been telling work to not plan on me until after Labor Day (8 weeks or so), but I'd really like to bring her to work very part time for another month or so following that. I work in retail, so I have to have full-time care lined up by the holidays (Halloween or so). DH is working reduced hours this summer while his students are at training along with most of his coworkers, which is more like 30-40 hrs a week instead of 60, so hopefully he can stay with us one day a week or something. Clearly I haven't given this a whole lot of thought!

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