OB Appointment from Hell yesterday - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 30 Old 02-15-2011, 01:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Baby and I are both FINE.

But the doctor tried again to get me to agree to a 39 week induction (I'll be 25 weeks tomorrow). I refused, again, and he got more and more agitated. When I asked why we needed to make that decision so early, he started yelling at me about his malpractice insurance, and how I was trying to railroad him into doing things against ACOG regs and how I thought I was the doctor. It was awful, and all I could do was cry.

He also is insistent that all babies that measure larger than 4000g via u/s should be sectioned. My babies were 10/9 and 11 lb. respectively .... FAR larger than 4000g, and I had NO trouble delivering either of them. When I reminded him of that, he said it didn't matter, that babies of diabetics put on weight differently, and that a woman who had no trouble delivering an 8 lb. baby could subsequently have a 7 lb. baby who gets stuck due to the different shape. I responded that, by that logic, he should just section ALL babies. His response: YES, but I'm trying to work with you.

He did apologize for upsetting me, but I think I finally saw his true colors yesterday and now I'm scared #%&*-less. I'm already on my 3rd ob. I don't know what to do, and I'm supposed to go back to him in 2 weeks.  UC'ing will remain an option, I guess, but it's not my first choice as a relatively new diabetic.

 

This just sucks.


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#2 of 30 Old 02-15-2011, 01:59 PM
 
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Yikes!  That really *does* suck.  There's no way I'd be seeing that guy again if there was any way I could avoid it.

 

Sorry, mama...


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#3 of 30 Old 02-15-2011, 02:00 PM
 
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OMGosh that SUCKS!!! I am so sorry that you had to deal with that jerk OB. Do you not have any CNMs in your area that can provide your prenatal care? You shouldn't risk out with a CNM even though you're a diabetic. I hate that you're feeling railroaded. It's an awful way to treat anyone, but especially a pregnant momma.

 

Maybe he needs a copy of the Patient Self-Determination Act sent to him. Daily.

 

Hugs to you!


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#4 of 30 Old 02-15-2011, 02:08 PM
 
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wow, thats terrible! I am forever astonished by how some Dr's treat their patients

 

I don't know what I'd do in your situation because I think I'd be pretty floored by the whole thing..I probably would've walked out on the spot but Im not terribly complacent

 

 

I have zero experience with gestational diabetes....is this what you have or you were diagnosed as diabetic before or what?

 

is there some way to see an endo that specializes in diabetes in conjunction with perhaps a cnm or fourth ob? even a clinic for prenatal care at this point ??

 

you always have the option to refuse any induction, whether it be directly or indirectly (just not show up to your own party!) you have a couple of months to work this out...don't despair!

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#5 of 30 Old 02-15-2011, 02:11 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry your Dr. is a complete and total a$$hole.  I would never, ever step foot in his practice again.  He is off his rocker and there is no reason you should continue to subject yourself to this kind of behavior.  He is putting you and your child at risk, not only trying to section you unnecessarily, but the stress he is putting on you.  I would report him to the state board and find another doctor or midwife.  I'm so sorry again.


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#6 of 30 Old 02-15-2011, 02:19 PM
 
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hug2.gif  I'm so sorry you went through that!  It sounds like this guy has some serious issues, and is dumping them all on you.  I can't imagine how horrible it was to have your doctor, someone you're supposed to be able to trust, go off on you with such crazy accusations.  No wonder you're scared!  I hope you're able to work out a solution that you can be comfortable with.

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#7 of 30 Old 02-15-2011, 02:40 PM
 
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Run, girl, run!! Bolt.gif
Seriously, you need to find a new provider. I know its a pain since you have done this 3 times already, but this "doctor" is not providing a competent service to you. Its no wonder he is worried about his malpractice insurance premiums if this is the way he treats his patients!!!

I am just disgusted. And just to add - ultrasound predictions of weight in late pregnancy are NOTORIOUSLY known for being completely wrong!! A homebirth midwife I know just had a mama deliver an 11#, 12oz baby at home, with no problems or complications at all. Just goes to show that every single woman and every single baby has their own idea of what 'normal' is.

Hugs, mama.

hh2.gif Proud Mama to DS1 09/07 ribboncesarean.gif, DD 07/09 hbac.gif, and DS2 06/11 uc.jpg.  Feeling more and more blessed with each day!

 

 
 
 
  

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#8 of 30 Old 02-15-2011, 02:43 PM
 
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Oh, mama, I feel you.  I have diebetes too and that's one of the reasons I wanted to avoid prenatal appts - they stressed me out so badly during one of my other pregnancies.  I've been keeping track of my sugars and have been pretty good most of teh time.

 

Good luck!


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#9 of 30 Old 02-15-2011, 04:49 PM
 
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Wow!  That guy has some nerve!  I would be outta there in a heartbeat, but not before yelling a few curse words at him.  What a jerk! 


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#10 of 30 Old 02-15-2011, 09:10 PM
 
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Adding my vote for finding a new provider...but I understand you're probably between a rock and a hard place. AFAIK, nothing he told you is according to ACOG recommendations. Against his malpractice insurance? Maybe. But that's his problem, not yours. I'd be tempted to print off the ACOG recs, highlight the pertinent ones, and take them to my next appt. No fun giving birth in that kind of atmosphere, though. Ugh.


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#11 of 30 Old 02-16-2011, 06:20 AM
 
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I agree with Tracy below -- man, people really have nerve don't they? I switched providers 4 times in my last pregnancy, OB fired, OB fired, midwife (who was EXTREMELY medicalized) fired, then finally, decent midwife so I know how annoying it is. I think though, it's time to look elsewhere to have the best chance of a vaginal birth where you are "allowed" (it's your legal right) to go into labor on your own without induction.

 

Personally, I think a UC would be better than this STRESS...although I totally understand your valid concerns being a new diabetic. Your T2 is well-controlled to my recollection, right? All the more reason to stick to your guns. No one should have to fight or be stressed like this irked.gif You deserve a provider (if you choose) who isn't going to bully and berate you. Emotions aside, that's your legally protected right.

 

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Originally Posted by tracymom1 View Post

Run, girl, run!! Bolt.gif
Seriously, you need to find a new provider. I know its a pain since you have done this 3 times already, but this "doctor" is not providing a competent service to you. Its no wonder he is worried about his malpractice insurance premiums if this is the way he treats his patients!!!

I am just disgusted. And just to add - ultrasound predictions of weight in late pregnancy are NOTORIOUSLY known for being completely wrong!! A homebirth midwife I know just had a mama deliver an 11#, 12oz baby at home, with no problems or complications at all. Just goes to show that every single woman and every single baby has their own idea of what 'normal' is.

Hugs, mama.

Grace-based wife & mama to 2 unschoolers! One & . We live simply & mindfully. Expecting another blessing Feb 2015 Praying for another
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#12 of 30 Old 02-16-2011, 07:05 AM
 
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Yuck, what a bad appointment for you!  Sorry you had to go through it.  As someone who is somewhat stuck with a bad OB group right now, (I live in the middle of nowhere and the only hb midwife I know of is not doing births in June) I'll give you my two cents as to how I'm sticking it out.  First of all, I never decline anything because then they just get that attitude that your doctor has, so instead I sweetly delay it.  My diabetes test?  "Oh, that would make me vomit, I know it, so please, I'll do it later when I think I can handle it."  Quad screen?  "I don't see the need for that right now, if the need pops up later, I'll happily do it."  Etc.  I'm also not above making an appt. and breaking it due to "illness" or the like.  Maybe you can just play along if you can't switch providers?  Then just go to the hospital when you are fully dilated and what can he do?  That's what I did with my son, stayed home until I achieved transition, left for the hospital got there in time to wait for the doctor (horrible) and then push my son out.  Maybe you could go that route, if you really can't switch providers? 

 

Sadly, I look at my "providers" as nuisances to be managed.  I don't really ask them any concerns or anything, I let them measure my fundus, check the heartbeat, and then I skidaddle.  If I have a question, I call my regular doctor (he's really chill, I like him) or ask my in laws who are chiropractors with a background in holistic medicine.  But, I don't engage with the OB group, I think of them as a service I am at this point forced to utilize, and my appts. are 5 minutes or less. 

 

I hope that everything works out for you.  I know my post is not in line with the others, but if you can't run, you can fake it til you don't show up for your induction right?


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#13 of 30 Old 02-16-2011, 07:19 AM
 
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Originally Posted by aleatha5 View Post

Sadly, I look at my "providers" as nuisances to be managed.  I don't really ask them any concerns or anything, I let them measure my fundus, check the heartbeat, and then I skidaddle.  If I have a question, I call my regular doctor (he's really chill, I like him) or ask my in laws who are chiropractors with a background in holistic medicine.  But, I don't engage with the OB group, I think of them as a service I am at this point forced to utilize, and my appts. are 5 minutes or less. 

 

Brilliant!  I love this attitude, and if I'm ever in a position where I'm stuck with an OB I'll definitely be employing it!  Or attempting to, at least.  In fact, I might take a page from your book and be "ill" for my GTT appointment.  :) 

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#14 of 30 Old 02-16-2011, 08:28 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aleatha5 View Post

Sadly, I look at my "providers" as nuisances to be managed.  I don't really ask them any concerns or anything, I let them measure my fundus, check the heartbeat, and then I skidaddle.  If I have a question, I call my regular doctor (he's really chill, I like him) or ask my in laws who are chiropractors with a background in holistic medicine.  But, I don't engage with the OB group, I think of them as a service I am at this point forced to utilize, and my appts. are 5 minutes or less. 

 

I hope that everything works out for you.  I know my post is not in line with the others, but if you can't run, you can fake it til you don't show up for your induction right?


if you can't switch this definitely seems like the best option. hug2.gif so sorry you are experiencing all of this added stress.


Angel (30), dh (31) (kd to H. 4/25/07 & K. 5/23/11), Vladimir 10/17/09 & Nikolai 7/6/11

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#15 of 30 Old 02-16-2011, 10:58 AM
 
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Don't have anything useful to add that hasn't already been said.  Just wanted to send you big hugs!

Just reading your post made me angry for you!


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#16 of 30 Old 02-16-2011, 12:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the support, mamas.  It helps to hear that I'm not a nutjob!  I swear, sometimes I stop and ask myself what's wrong with me that I provoke this kind of response in my doctors, but GOOD GRIEF.  It really isn't asking that much, imo, to WAIT UNTIL THERE ARE ACTUAL COMPLICATIONS to start MANAGING the stupid complications.

 

My plan right now is to (a) continue looking for other options; (b) in the interim never attend another appointment without my very large, very protective husband; and (c) if all else fails, follow Kristin's advice.  DH and I do want to maintain some sort of prenatal care through the pregnancy, just in case, but if I get to the end and all is good, then this will probably be my second and final u/c.


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#17 of 30 Old 02-16-2011, 12:26 PM
 
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having someone attend appointments with you might not be a bad idea at all....perhaps its because they become a "witness" but I have noticed difficult doctors chill quite a bit when someone else is there

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#18 of 30 Old 02-16-2011, 02:20 PM
 
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I agree with everyone else: RUN RUN RUN from that asshole!! The last thing you need on your birthing day is that guy breathing down your neck and throwing out the dead baby card every chance he gets. You deserve a supportive, calm care provider. You can switch any time, you are NOT bound to this guy! Where are you located? I can help you find a midwife, an ICAN group and a doula if you need a hand. :)


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#19 of 30 Old 02-16-2011, 02:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SGVaughn View Post

having someone attend appointments with you might not be a bad idea at all....perhaps its because they become a "witness" but I have noticed difficult doctors chill quite a bit when someone else is there



Or they play up to the husband...if your husband doesn't mind telling the dr where to, um, put his faulty recollection of ACOG recs, then you're awesome. If your DH is susceptible to the "dead baby card", I'd either warn him in advance or leave him at home.


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#20 of 30 Old 02-16-2011, 02:43 PM
 
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It sounds like you have a plan of action for dealing with this.  Just wanted to add that I'm so sorry you had to go through that.  What a nightmare!!  People continue to amaze me, and I cannot imagine what was going through that doctor's head to think it was ok to treat you that way.

 

Maybe this is happening for a reason...so that you are going on and finding someone new now and won't have to deal with this doctor's insanity at the delivery.  Good luck!


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#21 of 30 Old 02-16-2011, 09:59 PM
 
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I'm sorry you're dealing with this guy :(   I hope you can make it work!


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#22 of 30 Old 02-17-2011, 05:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't have any hope of making it work, meaning I cannot imagine this guy being anywhere NEAR me in labor.  He's made his views very clear and I'd be a fool not to take him at his word.

 

I'm feeling very, very positive about the pregnancy in general.  My bG #'s are STELLAR these days (amazing what a little tweaking of the diet and meds will do!), my quad screen came back all-clear, and the baby and I are doing just great.

 

My husband is a ROCK.  The (horrible hospital) birth of our first threw him for a loop, but the u/c of our second really showed him what birth can and should be like.  He has seen and heard so much crap from so many OB's (and midwives) thrown at me in the last 7 years that he completely gets the manipulation factor and has NO issues standing up to any of them.

 

I'm going to continue to look for other options for prenatal care, but I'm leaning more and more towards another u/c with this baby as long as we both remain healthy.


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#23 of 30 Old 02-17-2011, 05:58 AM
 
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DDCC Like the other ladies I say run! But if you must see this doc again take a tape recorder and record the visit.

Israel, mom to  DD, Ivy, 4-27-06 :and DS, Kai, 12-29-07 and DD, Lilith 2-1-10 and always remembering Alice fullterm stillborn 08/31/11 (unexplained placental abruption) 

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#24 of 30 Old 02-17-2011, 06:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
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DDCC Like the other ladies I say run! But if you must see this doc again take a tape recorder and record the visit.


If I had somewhere to run TO, I would.  This is not my first pregnancy in this town; I've been researching prenatal options - literally - for YEARS.  The c/s rate at the local hospitals is way above the national average.  There's ONE ob office who employs a midwife.  They are very, very conservative in their practices, and by conservative, I mean if you are outside the norm in any way at all, you are subjected to as many interventions as they can make stick.  The very few doctors who have a better reputation aren't accepting new patients.  There is a perinatal specialist who has a GREAT reputation, but he requires a referral from a regular ob, which I have yet to be able to get.  I'm too high-risk to treat normally, but not high-risk enough to see a high-risk doctor. shrug.gif

 

But recording appointments is a fantastic idea!  I can definitely make that happen.


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#25 of 30 Old 02-17-2011, 10:01 AM
 
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DDCC

 First and foremost - your doctor sounds like a mean, intimidating, cruel piece of trash.  His threatening attitude and unwillingness to compromise on *your* birth are signs to seek care elsewhere.  I agree with everyone to find a more reasonable care provider.  Plus his stance on c/s is absolutely frightening! 

 

Second, not at all to side with your doctor - because he’s a douche - but do as much research into the risks of being pregnant with diabetes as you can.  There *are* increases risks for diabetics, even with well controlled blood glucose, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that those risks apply to you.  At the very least, when you have this knowledge you will be able to confidently explain to your doctor that you know what your risks are or are not.

 

Just because you have been diagnosed with GD, that doesn't ever mean that you should automatically consent to something you do not want nor agree with.  It's still your body, your rights.  There has got to be some common ground like, in lieu of induction, agreeing to NST's, kick counting etc... Some doctors are so afraid of everything.

 

FWIW, my bff is T1 and she was “told” she’d be induced at 39w (despite amazing management of her bg), I think that’s pretty standard unfortunately.  Here’s a great thread, and although it’s talking specifically about T1, there are some really cool homebirth stories on here talking about managing blood glucose levels during and after labor, for the baby too.  http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/434335/mamas-with-type-1-diabetes

 

hug2.gif


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#26 of 30 Old 02-17-2011, 10:17 AM
 
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What is your doctor's specific concern?  Shoulder dystocia?  Stillbirth?  Both?  If your numbers have been perfect, I don't see why he is stressing.  Does he not believe that you are recording them correctly?  I'm just confused.  My understanding has always been that if blood glucose is well controlled, additional risk is negligible. 

 

I have never understood the hysteria among OBs trying to prevent shoulder dystocia by inducing/sectioning every woman who will agree to it.  There are risk factors for it, yes, but it is impossible to predict accurately in advance.  All OBs WILL, at some point in the course of their practice, have to deal with unexpected shoulder dystocia.  If you don't like that and can't handle it, don't become an OB.  But quit trying to bully women into unnecessary interventions because of YOUR fear of that situation.  It is part of your job to deal with it, and you should have known that going in. /end rant

 

I hate that you are feeling forced into a UC ... because the thing is, if you did (god forbid) have a shoulder dystocia or other emergent complication, it would be nice to have a care provider there who could treat it.  Are there really no HB midwives who would take you, or no OBs in another town who might be willing to treat you with more respect?  Oh, and are you at all worried about this doctor dropping you from care if you continue to refuse induction?  It kinda sounds like that's where this is headed.


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#27 of 30 Old 02-20-2011, 05:39 PM
 
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This Dr sounds like the growing breed that wishes they could just section every woman, have it done on their time, not waiting around for labors own clock.  I would be so afraid that even if I agreed to the VERY UNECESSARY induction, he would still manage to end up giving me the section he wants.  In the throws of labor, it isn't as easy to fight for your rights.  I don't care if I had changed OB's 20 times already, I'd be outta there!  Is a homebirth with a midwife totally out for you? Not sure about your insurance, some don't cover it, some do.  If not, maybe you could get a reccomendation from one on who their back up Dr's are and those guys are usually more chill OB's. 

 

I am so sorry you had to deal with such a bully like that!  Anyone managing the care of you and your baby, you should trust and be at ease with.  If this isn't the case...Run!  It can only go downhill from here.  Again, I would be very afraid of what he would pull during the actual birth.


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#28 of 30 Old 02-21-2011, 12:01 AM
 
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Originally Posted by msmiranda View Post

 

I have never understood the hysteria among OBs trying to prevent shoulder dystocia by inducing/sectioning every woman who will agree to it.  There are risk factors for it, yes, but it is impossible to predict accurately in advance. 


No one has ever successfully sued an OB for "wrongful c-section". I'm sure there are plenty of lawsuits on record for "failing to perform a c-section when shoulder dystocia was a risk/suspected". Sad, but true. I have no solution. Sorry... now back to the original topic of OP's OB...

 


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#29 of 30 Old 02-21-2011, 06:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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This OB *IS* a backup to local midwives.  That should tell you volumes about the birth culture here.  bigeyes.gif


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#30 of 30 Old 02-21-2011, 04:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by heathenmom View Post

This OB *IS* a backup to local midwives.  That should tell you volumes about the birth culture here.  bigeyes.gif




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