my house burnt down...was asked to get together a "shower wish list" by my neighbor - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 02-25-2011, 07:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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burnt down is a misnomer but every single item in the home and frankly most of the home (all flooring, sheetrock, plumbing, wiring) is a loss

 

so I don't know how else to describe it

 

the generosity of my community has been amazing

what do I put on a list for the baby? we were told not to be shy

 

 

everything we had bought minus the car seat and two bases is gone

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#2 of 23 Old 02-25-2011, 07:23 PM
 
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I'm so sorry!  How horrible!!  I assume everyone made it out safely?  What a stressful situation.

 

Crib (or cosleeper or pack n play), clothes, diapers, wipes, swing (if you want one)

 

I can't think of anything else at the moment, but I'm kind of a minimalist.


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#3 of 23 Old 02-25-2011, 08:21 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.  I hope everyone is ok!

 

My list would be...

Sling

Good stroller

Cloth diapers and wipes

Mini shower (for cloth diapers and postpartum undercarriage care for mama)

Onesies

Gowns

6 month clothing and up

Swing or a bouncer

Baby tub or tub insert for baby

Baby care items - shampoo, lotion etc

Generously sized non diaper bag bag to schlepp baby stuff in;)

 

That's about it, maybe a wooden rattle or something along those lines.  


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#4 of 23 Old 02-25-2011, 08:32 PM
 
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Hugs mama! I'm so sorry! That's just awful.

Do you have a place to stay? How long will you have to be out of your home? Is it all fixable before baby arrives?

That's really sweet of your neighbors and of course you want to ask for just what you need.

I cant think of anything else to add to what others have listed; just wanted to offer my hugs and wishes that you are able to get back to normal soon.

Xo

~Karenchicken3.gifso happy to be mothering my four... DS ('94), DS ('94), DD ('00), and DS -- June 8, 2011, our UC baby!

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#5 of 23 Old 02-25-2011, 09:49 PM
 
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We had the same thing happen 4 years ago in June. I too used the house burned down as we lost everything we owned but dh liked "significant house fire" better. Over the next few days just not down things as you remember them. It's very much a process. I was very lucky in that my kids were older but that also means I pretty much lost their babyhoods. If you have any questions about the process feel free to pm me through here.
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#6 of 23 Old 02-26-2011, 03:17 AM
 
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Oh my!  I am so sorry!  How about receiving blankets, socks and disposable cameras so you can at least take pictures of babe.


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#7 of 23 Old 02-26-2011, 05:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I hadn't even thought of a camera...I lost my point and shoot and my point and click...I wonder if insurance will cover these (or enough for one) before the baby comes :(

 

me and my toddler were home...and naked getting ready for a bath...I managed to get a pair of pants on and a zip up fleece, call 911 and wrap my daughter in a blanket, let the dog out of her crate and run out the back door barefoot before it was totally engulfed

 

the phone cut out as the center wall went up where the telecomunications lines were just as I got outside

 

I think because I can access receipts online easily I can get most of the diapers replaced in time..and planned to use sposies for a couple of weeks anyway...

 

as trivial as it is I'm really upset about the stroller because I got such a great deal on it and can't babywear (herniated discs in my upper spine)

I had just bought and was still in the box a glider/cradle for as a sort of co-sleep...my husband has apnea so I won't co-sleep officially but like baby right next to the bed within reach.

 

my neighbors are really mainstream more so than me..so maybe just layette items?

The same neighbor went and spent 500 dollars on clothes for us and scored a good weeks worth of maternity clothes from her sister in law who was about my size and just had a baby. I've never even met this woman before this. I guess she was stuck on the road because of fire personel and watched the house go. If all of the videos and pictures online didn't have the exact address I'd link them here. The town set up a donation center for us. I am incredibly overwhelmed by how generous and caring people have been. It seems like it souds flat when i type it out but I'e spet the last few days crying from the generosity of people more so than over the loss of our home.

 

 

I just realized last night a goat hair blanket from iraq went up totally last night

 

 

"significant house fire" does seem most appropriate...does this ever start to feel better? I am of course grateful no one was hurt including emergency responders...but at the same time, though it was "just stuff" it was our entire lives worth of stuff kwim??

theyre thinking 6mths to a year before we're back in the house...I'm so grateful we for whatever reason were really highly insured for the "loss of use" portion of our policy or we'd be up such a creek right now

we just bought the house last June...the baby's room was almost done.we had just gotten the dining room all repainted and furnished, my antique rug has just been cleaned and repaired...I had planted all kinds of flowers last fall for spring..Im not going to see the magnolia tree bloom...I cant plant my vegetable garden

 

its all so surreal

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#8 of 23 Old 02-26-2011, 06:09 AM
 
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Oh my Gosh!! There are no words -- that's terrible :( Thank God all the people are okay, but it's still devastating to lose the things surrounding you which helped create and define your life. I'm so sorry.


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#9 of 23 Old 02-26-2011, 06:12 AM
 
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Wow, what a huge thing to happen.  I can't even imagine.  Hugs to you all!


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#10 of 23 Old 02-26-2011, 07:49 AM
 
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I am so sorry mama. 


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#11 of 23 Old 02-26-2011, 08:50 AM
 
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I'm sorry to hear that!  I'm glad you have such a great support community with your neighbors.  

I hope your insurance comes through quickly for you!  


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#12 of 23 Old 02-26-2011, 11:13 AM
 
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Oh, mama, I am so sorry for your loss.  What a horrific ordeal.  I will be thinking about you and sending you lots of good vibes.  When I was a child, our house burned and I was rescued by fire fighters from my 2nd story bedroom.  I was 7 years old and remember it like it was yesterday.

 

Lots of big hugs.

 

I think that for baby stuff, you should just either look online or go to Target or Babies R Us and look around - get an idea of what you will need to replace.  With everything being so overwhelming right now, it might be better to actually have things to look at and pick out instead of making a list from memory.


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#13 of 23 Old 02-26-2011, 11:26 AM
 
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I am so sorry to hear about your home.

 

Put on the list whatever you think you will need and use for your baby.

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#14 of 23 Old 02-26-2011, 04:11 PM
 
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Oh honey, I'm so sorry to have read this. I am happy that no one was hurt and that there are some great people out there able to help your family. 


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#15 of 23 Old 02-26-2011, 05:11 PM
 
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I'm so sorry Mama :-( Glad you're all alright.


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#16 of 23 Old 02-26-2011, 11:35 PM
 
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oh wow ... sending you lots of good wishes as you move forward in finding a new normal. your posts brings up a lot of memories. the home I lived in w/parents & brother experienced a very similar-sounding 'burning down' in 2001. it was wild.  i just remember the whole experience being so totally surreal, and being drawn back over and over to sift through ashes and just looking at the craziness. now, i was just finishing college, living w/parents, and had no kids, so i obviously had some different factors to deal with --- but I'm also willing to talk about my experience and hear about yours on pm if you just want an ear (eyes?) of someone else who has been there.. i'm so glad to hear that you have good insurance. that is soo key. so is, i think, accepting the generosity that you're being offered. i found that other people moved on faster than me (it wasn't their tragedy, after all), so i think it's good to take up any offers of help as they come in.


hi!

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#17 of 23 Old 03-04-2011, 10:25 AM
 
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Oh mama I'm so sorry. hug2.gif Lots of hugs. That is so hard.

We had a fire back in October, it was nowhere near as bad as yours sounds because we were in an apartment building and our unit didn't even get burned, just smoke and water damage and we were able to save a lot. It was still hard and a little traumatic. I wish you the best as you rebuild your lives.

As far as suggestions on what to ask for..? Maybe a Boppy? A swing or bouncy seat? Clothes, blankets. I'm not sure what else...I hope you are able to get what you need. And thank goodness you had good insurance!

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#18 of 23 Old 03-04-2011, 09:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thank you everyone

 

 

this has been hard and I havent even tried to put together the baby wish list...I feel awkward taking any gifts..now Im just trying to figure out how to decline the offer gracefully

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#19 of 23 Old 03-05-2011, 11:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SGVaughn View Post

thank you everyone

 

 

this has been hard and I havent even tried to put together the baby wish list...I feel awkward taking any gifts..now Im just trying to figure out how to decline the offer gracefully


Oh, please don't! I have a hard time accepting help, too, but haven't had much of a choice lately. It is truly teaching me the joys of gratitude. Also, keep in mind that your neighbor's offers of help have just as much to do with their needs as well as yours - people feel compelled to rally around families who have had a tragedy and it lends itself to the opportunity for extra kindness. Let them do this for you.

How are you holding up otherwise?

hh2.gif Proud Mama to DS1 09/07 ribboncesarean.gif, DD 07/09 hbac.gif, and DS2 06/11 uc.jpg.  Feeling more and more blessed with each day!

 

 
 
 
  

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#20 of 23 Old 03-06-2011, 09:16 AM
 
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I agree with Tracy -- people are reaching out because they genuinely care and (imo) feel so helpless when something like this happens that it really is for *them* as much as for you to feel like they are doing something. I think it's a really touching human thing that connects us all, which is why shows like Extreme Home Makeover or Secret Millionaire or whatever are so popular.  I think we're all here to help each other when we can and how we can and that's what makes the world a better place. I know it's awkward accepting things... on many levels we are taught that it's "rude" or "charity" or other negative connotations but the fact is, allowing someone to bless you and being open to receiving kindness is a gift you give back to them. Then, when you're in a position you pass it on to someone who needs it.

 

Of course you have to do what you feel is best for you and your family but I think if people really feel led to show love to your family you should let them.

 

Hope you are doing well and that you and your family are on the path to healing during this upsetting time grouphug.gif

 

 


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#21 of 23 Old 03-06-2011, 11:27 AM
 
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I agree as well,people love to help others and they are offering b/c they are in a position to doit. We have received so much help over the years, much that was never asked for. I used to say no, long, long ago, but now I say yes. Why not? I had a lady at Church tell me how much she has loved our family from afar, bringing all the kids to Mass every week. She asked to do something for us and offered to come over w/ her teenage dd and cook my kids dinner, watch them while dh and I go out and do  something on our own. Well we do go out a lot by ourselves, but why not. My kids would like, they get to have a different experience and she wants to as well. I thought it was a lovely thing to think of.


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#22 of 23 Old 03-08-2011, 10:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
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well....we're holding up...sort of

 

there are little stresses here and there...small temper flare ups from everyone

 

my older daughters have not been incredibly gracious which is tough to swallow because theyre well taken care of

 

we're in a weird phase of limbo it appears...they start on the house next week (clean up gutting and demo)

and we should be finishing up with the contents of the home this week and are in a weird spot where we have enough to get by but not quite if that makes sense?

 

I want to get going on getting the baby's stuff together but feel stuck financially...like I cant spend what money I have because Im waiting for someone to pull the rug out from under us

 

this has been a very weird road.

 

I'm taking what everyone has said about people helping needing to do something because they feel helpless to help and trying on just saying "thank you"

maybe I need a lesson about pride (letting go of it)

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#23 of 23 Old 03-10-2011, 07:24 PM
 
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so sorry and sad to read this--hope you are figuring things out, and becoming okay with asking for help.

 

i found that motherhood is a constant push and pull of needing, but not wanting, then asking for, and accepting help, and if you need it, you should let people help you. If you feel weird about people buying you things, you could just say you're not sure yet and maybe tell someone that a gift card would be most helpful right now...then you can use it for what you need when you figure out what that is?

 

sending good wishes your way!


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