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Anyone else NOT in a hurry to have their baby?

1K views 23 replies 18 participants last post by  Smokering 
#1 ·
I am really excited about or 4th baby, (first girl!!) but I am really hoping to go late! I haven't bought one thing for this LO, and all my baby things are buried in storage. I don't feel like I need to buy anything-I have diapers, boobs, and a warm bed!
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We have been living with my sis and bro in law since October--so this ENTIRE pregnancy--with their four children and our three. It

gets to be a crazy household at times! But they have been just amazing to us, and a HUGE blessing!

However, one of the reasons we moved in was because my husband was going to build a "craigslist" guest house for them on their property. Well, what was going to be a fun, quick project really got drawn out all these months because of finances and materials and jobs...blah blah blah...

But guess what!? I just have to brag on my DH--He started the house early April and just tonight he got the roof on and tar papered!! YES!! That means if this baby will stay put until my EDD (June 30th) we will actually be in the house and maybe have some boxes unpacked! He is amazing and has been working so hard!

So normally I would be feeling ready to have this little girl....but as for right now, in our situation, I am asking her to stay put until July!

Anyone else in a crazy situation?
 
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#2 ·
I'm not in any sort of crazy situation, but I'm in no hurry for baby to come out. My edd is still 4 weeks away and I went +9 with DS. I like being pregnant. I'm comfortable for the most part. I'm mostly ready, almost totally, in fact, just in no rush for her to get out.

Explain this craigslist house more. Like, you're finding supplies on craigslist to build a house?
 
#3 ·
On the one hand, I'm ready for my little girl - our first baby. I'm ready to move on to the next part of our life, I'm ready experience birth for the first time, I'm ready to make my husband a father and I'm so ready to meet my baby. I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore - I hardly remember what it's like to not have a big belly and all the regular old aches and pains. I'm 37 weeks now, and I feel ready to burst open!

On the other hand, I know that I will only experience pregnancy a handful of times in my life if I'm lucky, and that these last few days alone with my husband are ones we should treasure.

So I'm drinking my tea, taking my EPO and telling my little one every day that it's okay if she wants to come out, but I don't blame her if she wants to stick around just a little longer. I like to think I've made a cushy little place for her inside, and that she likes it there. :)
 
#4 ·
I have no where near the craziness of living with family, waiting for a house to be done, and having all my stuff in storage, but we are still settling into our first home. I have boxes piled in lots of rooms waiting for the energy to be unpacked. I have windows without curtains and little piles of chaos all over. Every day that I continue nesting, I get more things done, and that feels so good! However, I am starting to really feel the pressure and discomfort of a growing baby in my body. So I'd really like to not go TOO far over my due date!
 
#5 ·
I have never felt the "I want the baby to come now" impulse. With my first three, well, I just enjoyed being pregnant. This time I am having a harder time physically, but I still am not particularly ready for newborn life either . . .

Also, my anniversary is a week before my due date, and I'd really like to save the anniversary weekend from becoming a joint anniversary/birthday weekend in future years. I don't want to have a birthday compete with getting to go out on a anniversary date!

So yeah, I'm not in a hurry!
 
#6 ·
I'm kind of on the fence. On one hand my life is much simpler right now without the newborn to take care of. And it's summer and I have things to do... But on the other hand I'm ready to meet him and to start getting to know him. And the sooner he's born, the longer I have with him before I have to start back at school in the fall. I think part of me is still kind of in denial that there will be an actual baby person in our house that is MY baby person, despite all the baby stuff everywhere and the very obvious human kicking away in my belly. :)
 
#7 ·
I can wait. I'm uncomfortable, but I know I'll miss it when it's gone. I only experienced the "I want this baby out now" feeling the day I went into labour with my daughter, but I could use more down time and naps this time around! I'm not in a bad situation, but we recently moved and are barely unpacked, the walls are all white and the pictures are all in piles in various rooms. The bedrooms are all full of boxes, and I haven't located the boxes with all the baby stuff yet. Just the diapers, but no clothes or anything else. Hopefully I can locate and wash all that today! I'm 38+1. My daughter was born at 39 weeks. I wonder if I"ll get anything done, since all I want to do is sleep these days! I haven't even got the homebirth supplies together yet. I guess that probably takes priority!
 
#8 ·
Bald_Bulls_Mama: The 'craigslist' house was a goal to try to build the house out of reclaimed materials. My husband builds furniture out of reclaimed wood as a hobby, so we thought we would try to do a house like that. We were wanting to reuse anything we could as well as do it as least expensive as possible, but we have had to buy some of the Lumber so it won't be entirely recycled. :)

It is fun (somewhat comforting) to hear that some of you are in the same boat. Thanks for sharing!! It is strange to feel the nesting urge, but having nowhere to do it. So instead I just sleep, I've been soooooo sleepy and hungry these days!
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I do want to be DONE in the sense of feeling gigantic, but this will probably be our last so that is another reason why I'm trying to be in no rush.

Heres hoping we all get unpacked, diapers found/washed, and feeling at peace before the babies come!!!
 
#9 ·
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I think part of me is still kind of in denial that there will be an actual baby person in our house that is MY baby person, despite all the baby stuff everywhere and the very obvious human kicking away in my belly. :)
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DITTO!! hahahaha!

So with you on this... I'm in full-blown prep mode for my late June/early July baby, but I still don't think the reality of "actual human being I will be at least partially responsible forEVER" has clicked yet.
 
#10 ·
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Originally Posted by reborn View Post

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DITTO!! hahahaha!

So with you on this... I'm in full-blown prep mode for my late June/early July baby, but I still don't think the reality of "actual human being I will be at least partially responsible forEVER" has clicked yet.
The really sad part is that I already have two kids, so you'd think this wouldn't be such a new concept for me... lol
 
#11 ·
Yeah, my "i am going to be responsible for this human forever" hasn't totally kicked in either.

I would be very happy for my kid to wait to come out until at least the end of May (when my current placement is over, thus enabling me to finish it so I can graduate) and preferably until mid-June when hubby's academic term is over. Plus, that'll give me more time to accumulate baby items since I do not have much of what I would like to have.
 
#12 ·
I'm not in a hurry for multiple reasons. My first is that dh is continuing to be a complete and total a$$hole and I'm not dealing with that very well right now. I'm 36 weeks and both of my kids have been sick for over a week now...so he went out of town with his single friends for four days. Sounds like someone about to have their third child, right?
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I'm thinking me crying hysterically for the past few days probably isn't helping hold off baby coming, though.

My second reason is that dh wouldn't let me order a rocking chair until it was too late to have it here on time so it won't be arriving until June 28. I can't imagine not rocking my newborn. It's heartbreaking, but then again, I'm pretty much heartbroken right now any way. I need to get in a better emotional place before baby arrives. Poor thing. He won't even discuss a name with me so I don't even have a list. I'm trying to get started on it, but I just start crying every I start considering names...alone.
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#13 ·
So I have 9 days until number 4 arrives (c-section ugh). And as much as I'm getting uncomfortable, I'm not looking forward to the recovery process or really the adjustment period. I feel like I finally have a good handle on three and I'm a bit anxious about four! But I suppose I have felt this way before the birth of each of my children and every time it has turned out just fine. :) I also always worry about how the youngest will react and adjust (they have all been almost 2) and DD has been so clingy lately, still nurses, and co-sleeps with us too. I'm afraid she will be really jealous of the new baby but hopefully she will love him and become a good little helper. Anyone else feel this way before a birth too?
 
#14 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by amaayeh View Post

I'm not in a hurry for multiple reasons. My first is that dh is continuing to be a complete and total a$$hole and I'm not dealing with that very well right now. I'm 36 weeks and both of my kids have been sick for over a week now...so he went out of town with his single friends for four days. Sounds like someone about to have their third child, right?
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I'm thinking me crying hysterically for the past few days probably isn't helping hold off baby coming, though.

My second reason is that dh wouldn't let me order a rocking chair until it was too late to have it here on time so it won't be arriving until June 28. I can't imagine not rocking my newborn. It's heartbreaking, but then again, I'm pretty much heartbroken right now any way. I need to get in a better emotional place before baby arrives. Poor thing. He won't even discuss a name with me so I don't even have a list. I'm trying to get started on it, but I just start crying every I start considering names...alone.
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Oh my goodness. I am sorry to hear that you're going through this crazy of a time, especially at this time of pregnancy. HUGS.
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#15 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Janae View Post

Bald_Bulls_Mama: The 'craigslist' house was a goal to try to build the house out of reclaimed materials. My husband builds furniture out of reclaimed wood as a hobby, so we thought we would try to do a house like that. We were wanting to reuse anything we could as well as do it as least expensive as possible, but we have had to buy some of the Lumber so it won't be entirely recycled. :)
This is awesome! What a super cool idea.
 
#16 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by amaayeh View Post

I'm not in a hurry for multiple reasons. My first is that dh is continuing to be a complete and total a$$hole and I'm not dealing with that very well right now. I'm 36 weeks and both of my kids have been sick for over a week now...so he went out of town with his single friends for four days. Sounds like someone about to have their third child, right?
irked.gif
I'm thinking me crying hysterically for the past few days probably isn't helping hold off baby coming, though.

My second reason is that dh wouldn't let me order a rocking chair until it was too late to have it here on time so it won't be arriving until June 28. I can't imagine not rocking my newborn. It's heartbreaking, but then again, I'm pretty much heartbroken right now any way. I need to get in a better emotional place before baby arrives. Poor thing. He won't even discuss a name with me so I don't even have a list. I'm trying to get started on it, but I just start crying every I start considering names...alone.
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I am so sorry you are having to deal with this mama. I hope your DH gets it together soon. You should come up with a cute little nickname for your little one at least that you call him or her before they are here (and it can carry into after).

I am for the first time at this point of pregnancy (almost 39 weeks) in no real rush to have her. Maybe its because I am just not ready yet either. I waited till last minute to order birth supplies (home water birth) and they JUST NOW got here. My midwife also waited till last minute to get me the pool. I STILL haven't gotten the hose and faucet adapter or diapers or postpartum pads. Those I am taking care of tomorrow though. When I have it all, I will breath a sign of relief and think, okay, now I can have the baby. Though I have thought about if she came before I had it all, I would manage. Not like I couldn't send my mom to the store for diapers. Without the chux pads, it may have been a mess though, lol.

On one hand, I can't wait to meet her and get this discomfort over with. Also, If I have her now through may 28th, DH will be home for a week to help with the toddler since he can take his vacation anytime between now and then butn o later than the 28th (im due the 1st). If I go late, I am on my own though he can still take a personal day but its only a day.

Then on the other, I am in no hurry to end my last pregnancy. We are for sure done (though we thought we were last time) and DH has his vasectomy scheduled. I am also at peace with 6 being the final as well. It just feels complete. I know I will never have another new life in me moving around, giving me little nudges, and the anticipation of the meeting, when will labor start, what will it be like? All the excitment, this is the last time I will go through it. So I am trying not to get impatient but just soaking it up and enjoying the not knowing when it will happen.
 
#18 ·
I flicker back and forth. One one hand, I am ready to have this baby out and start the healing process of my own body so that I can feel productive and "normal" again. On the other hand, we STILL haven't finished the house projects and I don't want to bring a baby home to a house that isn't "finished", I also can't imagine taking care of a newborn right now, but I think that is bc I feel so terrible that adding on the 24/7 job of a newborn seems IMPOSSIBLE to handle. It's a good thing those hormones kick in and make you a super woman on no sleep for the first few weeks!
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Amaayeh-- I am so sorry that your DH is being a !@#$. Maybe it's one of those man period things where they freak out and then come crawling back to you begging for your forgiveness??
 
#19 ·
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My first is that dh is continuing to be a complete and total a$$hole and I'm not dealing with that very well right now.
@amaayeh -- Have you read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth? She has a lot of great stories in there about single women or women in poor relationships giving birth. You might find them encouraging. Ina May believes that emotional stress can actually inhibit the ability of your body to progress in labor and that those stresses need to be resolved. Not necessarily the relationship fixed, but the mother in a healthy place emotionally. Your body needs to know it is safe to bring this baby into the world. Fear is the enemy of birth!

Do you have any close friends or a doula who can encourage you over the next few weeks and help you feel supported and centered? I'd also highly recommend journaling, yoga, meditation/prayer, and music that you find calming. Maybe try and find a peaceful place while your children are napping? If you think it's realistic, try to resolve your relationship issues with your husband... even if it means seeing a therapist or counselor. If he is totally uncooperative, just focus on your own well-being.

You are strong woman and a good mother, and you can do this and do it well with or without your husband's support (although of course that would be ideal). :)

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I don't know your story at all, so please excuse me if I'm oversimplifying things! Best of luck and love to you!
 
#20 ·
We settled on our first house today; we move Saturday, when I'll be 38 weeks. I've been exhausted for weeks with all the paperwork and packing and taking care of my 2 littles. I really want a little time to get arranged in the new place (planning a home birth, so getting nested is important) and hopefully rest a bit before baby's born...and for my mom to arrive from out of state. I wouldn't mind exactly 40 weeks.
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#21 ·
You all are so kind. Thank you so much for the supportive words. It really, really helps me. I've done a lot of thinking and journaling and I'm working on finding that peaceful place. The last thing I want to do is bring this baby into the world thinking about all these other negative things. I've asked dh to move out and have contacted my midwife and doula with what is going on. I don't really have that much support here because I just moved here not long ago. I'm probably going to hire a postpartum doula as well and then I have my kids involved in summer camps. Hopefully I can mentally get in a better place in the next few weeks. Neither of my kids came early so hopefully this one won't either. :) I'm already feeling better since I know I don't have to argue or fight with dh.
 
#22 ·
I have been waffling between "I want this baby here... like yesterday!" and "eh, what's another week or two"...

I have a lot of cleaning to do as we never really 'moved in' to our new place a couple of months ago, but don't want to do it, because we're moving to a whole new state in October. I want this special time with DD, but I am also eager for us to just be a family of 4 and hurry up and relax all summer together. Sounds laughable, I know!
 
#23 ·
We are moving form our 1 BR apt to a slightly larger 1 BR we converted to a 2. This weekend. I keep thinking maybe it's going to happen (intense but inconsistent cramping, pinching, vag feels like a huge gaping hole when I pee, back pain, etc.) but I'd really like to get upstairs. We also decided, at 32 weeks, to have a homebirth so things are pretty crazy. If I do go into labor before we can get our bed upstairs, I'll be giving birth in a pile of boxes. Ah well. It's crazy, too, because we have family over all day on the weekends, my mom makes me nuts, I'm tired of feeding groups of people, etc., etc. But of course I can't do much so I'm grateful for the help. Still, I am imagining more of a groovy laid back Farm birth vibe. :)

After we get the bed upstairs, however, I will be done with this pregnancy. I am already feeling a little nostalgic since we're not having any more children, but this second pregnancy has been much much harder than the first.
 
#24 ·
I realised yesterday that yep, I'm quite happy to wait another week or two for this baby. I think I was getting vicariously impatient because of the whole counting-down vibe in this DDC! :p But really, I have stuff to do; I don't really want to be in labour today, or tomorrow for that matter; I'd like to do a few more fun things with DD, DH and my girlfriends before the baby's born; and I'm just generally in no hurry. I have some miserable pregnancy symptoms, but I actually feel a LOT better than I have throughout most of this pregnancy (the remains of the flu notwithstanding!).

I'm sure once I hit my EDD (June 9) I might start freaking out a little more - I don't really want to go to 42 weeks! - but right now I'm only a few days over 38 weeks, and... I'm fine. This is a bit of relevation to me. :p But a Good Thing.
 
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