Postpartum Chat - June - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-03-2011, 10:08 PM
 
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erigeron: I hope you don't feel like we're blowing you off by saying it might "just" be latching-on pain! It really is very unpleasant, even if it's "normal". It's a sharp, wincey, hissy pain, and whenever I see a nursing woman make that face as her baby latches on, I wince in sympathy! With both of my babies, it disappeared kinda gradually, and took me a few days to realise I wasn't wincing any more.

 

Random anecdote of the day? DH hasn't had a cellphone for years, and I have an old one I almost never use. Recently one of DH's clients wanted to contact him via mobile, so DH charged my phone up and gave him the number. Neither of us gave any thought to the voicemail message, which I'd set... maybe five or six years ago?... and which said something along the lines "Hey, this is Smokering's voicemail. If you don't know what to do after the beep, please hang up and never call me again".

 

So, yeah. The client's wife ended up calling DH for some reason, got my voicemail, and was mega-offended. DH got a followup phone call on our landline, in which she informed him stiffly that he'd better change it ASAP. Oops. lol.gif

 

Off to google "how to burp a baby". None of my techniques are cutting it.


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Old 07-04-2011, 02:41 AM
 
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Whew it's been a long time!  I don't know where to start to catch up, but I thought about you ladies and the fact that this forum won't be here forever, and I felt a little weepy.  So I came back to hang out with you as much as mothering two lets me while I can.

 

I am so thankful to be on the up-side of postpartum healing.  My first week was pretty crummy, but thankfully I had lots of postpartum support.  Little by little, I feel more human every day.  I haven't attempted to take both girls out of the house on my own yet, but I can keep my girls fed and cleaned up on my own and am little by little getting on top of other things (don't look at the monster pile of unfolded laundry in the baby room!).  My one lingering annoying symptom is sweating like crazy with the slightest exertion.   I am wondering if my thyroid meds are just really off after having the baby or if I'm STILL sweating off my excess fluids.  Hmm.  Not sure.

 

Lydia is being a sweet baby for the most part.  She's a little bit more demanding and fussy than her sister was.  She has a 3 hour window in the evenings especially where nothing will settle her, but since she doesn't spend the whole time screaming and can be consoled by bouncing and such, I consider myself blessed!  Of course, I think she is the most beautiful baby in the world and love smelling her sweet baby, milky scent and touching her soft downy hair and kissing her plump cheeks.  She's starting to respond with little smiles to having her diaper changed and the sound of my voice.  I love her!  So does her big sister!  She's being a sweet helper and is exceptionally gentle and kind for being two and a half.  I feel blessed that she is not trying to show off with her or harm her in any way.  She is very genuinely loving and uses OTHER opportunities to get our attention!

 

Anyway, I hope I can keep up here to some extent!  I feel bad for all the birth stories I have missed out on and hope the late June Mama's aren't feeling generally neglected, but I have only so many typing minutes in my day!  I hope all understand!


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Old 07-04-2011, 03:52 AM
 
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erigeron: I hope you don't feel like we're blowing you off by saying it might "just" be latching-on pain! It really is very unpleasant, even if it's "normal". It's a sharp, wincey, hissy pain, and whenever I see a nursing woman make that face as her baby latches on, I wince in sympathy! With both of my babies, it disappeared kinda gradually, and took me a few days to realise I wasn't wincing any more.

 

Random anecdote of the day? DH hasn't had a cellphone for years, and I have an old one I almost never use. Recently one of DH's clients wanted to contact him via mobile, so DH charged my phone up and gave him the number. Neither of us gave any thought to the voicemail message, which I'd set... maybe five or six years ago?... and which said something along the lines "Hey, this is Smokering's voicemail. If you don't know what to do after the beep, please hang up and never call me again".

 

So, yeah. The client's wife ended up calling DH for some reason, got my voicemail, and was mega-offended. DH got a followup phone call on our landline, in which she informed him stiffly that he'd better change it ASAP. Oops. lol.gif

 

Off to google "how to burp a baby". None of my techniques are cutting it.


Heh! Some people have no sense of humour.

 

I was googling that the other day. This little one spits up a lot. Let me know if you find something that works! I've had most luck with laying her on her tummy over my leg or a pillow. The pressure on her chest seems to help.

 

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Whew it's been a long time!  I don't know where to start to catch up, but I thought about you ladies and the fact that this forum won't be here forever, and I felt a little weepy.  So I came back to hang out with you as much as mothering two lets me while I can.

 

I am so thankful to be on the up-side of postpartum healing.  My first week was pretty crummy, but thankfully I had lots of postpartum support.  Little by little, I feel more human every day.  I haven't attempted to take both girls out of the house on my own yet, but I can keep my girls fed and cleaned up on my own and am little by little getting on top of other things (don't look at the monster pile of unfolded laundry in the baby room!).  My one lingering annoying symptom is sweating like crazy with the slightest exertion.   I am wondering if my thyroid meds are just really off after having the baby or if I'm STILL sweating off my excess fluids.  Hmm.  Not sure.

 

Lydia is being a sweet baby for the most part.  She's a little bit more demanding and fussy than her sister was.  She has a 3 hour window in the evenings especially where nothing will settle her, but since she doesn't spend the whole time screaming and can be consoled by bouncing and such, I consider myself blessed!  Of course, I think she is the most beautiful baby in the world and love smelling her sweet baby, milky scent and touching her soft downy hair and kissing her plump cheeks.  She's starting to respond with little smiles to having her diaper changed and the sound of my voice.  I love her!  So does her big sister!  She's being a sweet helper and is exceptionally gentle and kind for being two and a half.  I feel blessed that she is not trying to show off with her or harm her in any way.  She is very genuinely loving and uses OTHER opportunities to get our attention!

 

Anyway, I hope I can keep up here to some extent!  I feel bad for all the birth stories I have missed out on and hope the late June Mama's aren't feeling generally neglected, but I have only so many typing minutes in my day!  I hope all understand!


I've been abnormally sweaty too. Yuck. I figured it was some hormonal thing.

 

I'm sure everyone does understand. It's been really quiet here since everyone had their babies. I've actually been on more than usual. My laptop is pretty much my one source of entertainment while breastfeeding.

 

 

 

 


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Old 07-04-2011, 08:01 AM
 
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Oh hey, I just got projectile pooped on. Seriously, I feel like we can't go 5 minutes without something being pooped on, peed on, puked on, or breastmilk-leaked on. How did people do this before washing machines?

 

In less gross news, think our baby finally has a name! joy.gif We're going with Rosa. To be honest I still have some slight misgivings, but seeing as we can't come up with anything we both like better, and she's over 2 weeks old, it's time to make a decision. winky.gif We've yet to announce it. I hope the grandparents like it!

 

 

 

 


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Old 07-04-2011, 09:11 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Smokering View Post

erigeron: I hope you don't feel like we're blowing you off by saying it might "just" be latching-on pain! It really is very unpleasant, even if it's "normal". It's a sharp, wincey, hissy pain, and whenever I see a nursing woman make that face as her baby latches on, I wince in sympathy! With both of my babies, it disappeared kinda gradually, and took me a few days to realise I wasn't wincing any more.

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To give you a frame of reference, the latching-on pain was bad enough to make me grit my teeth and mutter four-letter words under my breath. I asked my midwife about it and she said that if it only hurts badly as the baby latches on, but is ok for the rest of the feeding then your latch is probably fine. That's been the case for me, and sure enough the pain went away within 2 weeks.


That's definitely helpful! And it isn't blowing me off at all. I like to know what kinds of different experiences people have had--gives me a context for my own. I can much easier stick with it if I know it's likely to dissipate in a little while. Though I still do want to get it checked out. I think I'll call the lactation consultants tomorrow, and also we see our family doc tomorrow so I'll ask her about it. I mentioned to her at the last appt that the LCs thought Amelia might be mildly tongue-tied, and she kind of blew it off, but didn't really check to see if she was. But we'll talk about it some more.
 

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In less gross news, think our baby finally has a name! joy.gif We're going with Rosa. To be honest I still have some slight misgivings, but seeing as we can't come up with anything we both like better, and she's over 2 weeks old, it's time to make a decision. winky.gif We've yet to announce it. I hope the grandparents like it!


I like Rosa! I'm sure it'll grow on you and then you won't be able to imagine her being named anything else. We went through a ton of names before we settled on Amelia, and yesterday I was watching her sleep and running through all the front-runners in my mind, including the ones I loved that hubby vetoed, and none of them seemed to fit her. This may just be confirmation bias, but now I can't imagine her being anything but an Amelia. Go figure.

 

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Old 07-04-2011, 02:57 PM
 
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I like Rosa! I'm sure it'll grow on you and then you won't be able to imagine her being named anything else. We went through a ton of names before we settled on Amelia, and yesterday I was watching her sleep and running through all the front-runners in my mind, including the ones I loved that hubby vetoed, and none of them seemed to fit her. This may just be confirmation bias, but now I can't imagine her being anything but an Amelia. Go figure.

 


I think so too. :)

 

I'm freaking out a bit right now. This baby has suddenly developed a lazy latch - lots of "clicking" and swallowing air. I'm having trouble correcting it. She's been reflux-y and cranky all day, sleeping for 5 minute stretches and generally acting uncomfortable. I'm so touched-out right now. DH tried to give me a hug before, just being nice of course, and I almost flipped out on him like "Can't I have 2 seconds of personal space?".

 

I just want her to go to sleep and stay asleep for more than a few minutes at a time!


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Old 07-04-2011, 09:02 PM
 
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Sigh. I'm depressed. Want to move to Spain... alone. Actually the baby isn't bugging me too much, but DD and even DH are really getting on my nerves, as is life in general... the house, the garden, my hair, our finances, eating... and my usual "I don't know what to do with my life" problem. I don't know that it's PPD, as I was depressed before and during pregnancy as well. Snowflake777, my DH is getting short shrift in the hugs department too. I keep thinking "I don't want you to kiss me, I want you to clean the kitchen!" :p


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Old 07-05-2011, 03:55 AM
 
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Erigeron, I still have latching pain, and Ezrah will be a month old on Wednesday. It's a combination, I think, of him having a short upper frenulum (between upper gums and the inside of his top lip) and a really high, arched palate... and my let-down always hurts. It only lasts for a few seconds, but I still have to do my deep breathing until the initial sharpness goes away. I never dealt with latching issues or structural issues in my other kids' mouths that affected nursing so it was really frustrating, and PAINFUL, until we got things figured out this time around. It really doesn't help that my let-down feels like such intense pins and needles that BURNS so that's kind of added to everything else. Yuck. I'm glad you're talking to your ped again about the tongue tie. Hopefully that will help solve the painful latch issue.

 

AFM... my mom gave us 30 days to be out of the house. She's apparently completely fed up with the fact that when my kids do their chores they are half-assing it. It makes me bad too, especially since I'm the person that has to tell them over and over and OVER again to do it over, do it again, do it right, etc, etc, ad nauseum. It probably wouldn't be such a big deal to her, except that we have this flea infestation and when the vacuuming isn't being done properly it doesn't do much to get rid of the fleas.

 

I'm really not sure what we're going to do. I'm fairly certain that we'll end up in a homeless shelter since I have $20 to my name until August and no way to get any more money. I'm hoping that my dad can lend me money that I'll repay someday. Like when I graduate and have a job. I'm praying harder than ever for my big scholarship with the living stipend to come through, which I won't know about until the END of August anyway. I'm so unbelievably stressed out right now that I can't sleep or eat. I don't want to be around anyone, least of all my children who I feel are responsible for this while thing. I've had an upset stomach and I've been randomly dry-heaving since she dropped that lovely bomb on us this afternoon.

 

If I wasn't dealing with PPD before, I surely will be now. All I want to do is cry.


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Old 07-05-2011, 06:27 AM
 
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Lots of hugs, Jenni. I know this isn't the best advice, but can you beg? Can you just lay it all out there and hope she lets you stay until your student aid comes in? Maybe post in the finding your tribe section here and see if anyone knows of any cheap, safe places to rent or if anyone can help you out in any way. You and your kiddos will be in my thoughts.

Snowflake, I love Rosa. What a beautiful name!! I think you picked well! love.gif

I seriously have no time to post anymore. As I write, Jude is crying, Gabe wants a snack and Kaya is up and ready to get out of her crib. I still need to shower and I am working on 2 hours of sleep. Whenever DH holds Jude, he cries and fusses which makes me just cringe. None of the other kids were like that and I don't quite know what to do about it.

Survival mode. It's my only gear these days.

hh2.gif Proud Mama to DS1 09/07 ribboncesarean.gif, DD 07/09 hbac.gif, and DS2 06/11 uc.jpg.  Feeling more and more blessed with each day!

 

 
 
 
  

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Old 07-05-2011, 07:40 AM
 
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I think so too. :)

 

I'm freaking out a bit right now. This baby has suddenly developed a lazy latch - lots of "clicking" and swallowing air. I'm having trouble correcting it. She's been reflux-y and cranky all day, sleeping for 5 minute stretches and generally acting uncomfortable. I'm so touched-out right now. DH tried to give me a hug before, just being nice of course, and I almost flipped out on him like "Can't I have 2 seconds of personal space?".

 

I just want her to go to sleep and stay asleep for more than a few minutes at a time!




I'm right there with you. We must be leading parallel lives!

 

Sounds like we're all in a crummy rut. Laurelyn is going through some sort of weird phase. Last night was the worst. She starts cluster feeding and fussing around 5-6pm. Which lasts until nearly midnight. Some nights I can get 2 hrs baby free in bed before DH brings her to me. Last night it wasn't even 5 minutes. She did.not.sleep. I think I got maybe 3 hrs of broken up sleep. Every time I would get her settled like she was going to sleep SOMETHING would wake her. Dh turning over, snoring, coughing, sneezing, kids screaming when they woke up, neighbor starting up his obnoxiously loud and clanky lawnmower. I gave up at 8 am. I'll be damned if DH gives me any crap about taking a nap later. He's still sleeping at quarter to 10.

 

I want to start back working out. Anyone else getting to that point yet?


-:¦:-♥Sarah Lynne♥-:¦:-Wife to Michael and Mommy to Austin(5), Steven(3), Tristyn(1), and Laurelyn (6/3/2011)

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Old 07-05-2011, 08:00 AM
 
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I am sorry for all of you who are battling something unpleasant right now when this is suppose to be the happiest time grouphug.gif  Feeling tired and emotional never helps either. Lotus has figured out that Mommy sleeps with the milk makers hanging out and she manages to wiggle her way over and hook up on her own through out the night *LOL*  I definitely am having a hard time keeping up with a lot of things but we seem to be figuring out a schedule.  I do miss hopping on the tractor and mowing since that has always been my job but I gracefully have turned it over to DH this year.  Unfortunately the pool isn't as crystal clear as usual because he is doing the mowing more. Now I am trying to figure out how i am going to get my winter knitting done before we need the items.


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Old 07-05-2011, 08:16 AM
 
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I'm sorry everyone's having such a rough week! grouphug.gif

 

Jenni - that sounds so stressful. Any chance your mother was just blowing off steam and will change her mind?

 

I'm having an awful day too. I just had a nasty argument with DH and don't even want to look at him right now. And no it's not PPD, it's MHBJD (My Husband is Being a Jerk Depression).


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Old 07-05-2011, 11:21 AM
 
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Hugs to all the mamas having troubles!  My now 11 yo was a cranky fussy baby and all your posts put me right back there. I remember how hard it was getting through day to day. Thankfully this babe is his polar opposite so far and a dream. Put him in the carseat, he falls asleep until you get where you're going. Lie him down in the crib for a moment to catch a shower and 15 mins later he's still happily lying there. No fussy can't figure it out spells yet. He doesn't like his diaper changed, but as soon as you close the fresh diaper, it turns the crying off like a switch--so funny!

 

Those of you with fussy babes, do you have a sling?  I had several when my 11 yo was a baby and it was the only way I got anything done. He seemed to prefer to tightness/confinement of the Moby type wrap sling. I could tie him on and he'd sleep for an hour or more (the ONLY time he'd do that!). They can be challenging to get the hang of using, but I found them to be great for my fussy baby.  This time, I'm using an Ergo and so far I just love it too!

 

ETA:  I just weighed the babe at the post office! He is up to 9 lbs 6 oz which is a gain of 14 oz in the last 6 days (He was down to 8 lbs 8 oz at his jaundice check at 4 days old). Pure cream milk strikes again! My babies are always little porkers LOL  So were my surro-babes when I pumped for them. Going to start pumping for donation/storage here in a few days.


~Mama to my boys~ to a teen, a tween & a toddler and surro-mama to twins and their sister

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Old 07-05-2011, 12:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jshannyn519 View Post

Erigeron, I still have latching pain, and Ezrah will be a month old on Wednesday. It's a combination, I think, of him having a short upper frenulum (between upper gums and the inside of his top lip) and a really high, arched palate... and my let-down always hurts. It only lasts for a few seconds, but I still have to do my deep breathing until the initial sharpness goes away. I never dealt with latching issues or structural issues in my other kids' mouths that affected nursing so it was really frustrating, and PAINFUL, until we got things figured out this time around. It really doesn't help that my let-down feels like such intense pins and needles that BURNS so that's kind of added to everything else. Yuck. I'm glad you're talking to your ped again about the tongue tie. Hopefully that will help solve the painful latch issue.

 

AFM... my mom gave us 30 days to be out of the house. She's apparently completely fed up with the fact that when my kids do their chores they are half-assing it. It makes me bad too, especially since I'm the person that has to tell them over and over and OVER again to do it over, do it again, do it right, etc, etc, ad nauseum. It probably wouldn't be such a big deal to her, except that we have this flea infestation and when the vacuuming isn't being done properly it doesn't do much to get rid of the fleas.

 

I'm really not sure what we're going to do. I'm fairly certain that we'll end up in a homeless shelter since I have $20 to my name until August and no way to get any more money. I'm hoping that my dad can lend me money that I'll repay someday. Like when I graduate and have a job. I'm praying harder than ever for my big scholarship with the living stipend to come through, which I won't know about until the END of August anyway. I'm so unbelievably stressed out right now that I can't sleep or eat. I don't want to be around anyone, least of all my children who I feel are responsible for this while thing. I've had an upset stomach and I've been randomly dry-heaving since she dropped that lovely bomb on us this afternoon.

 

If I wasn't dealing with PPD before, I surely will be now. All I want to do is cry.


Hey Jenni...I'm not even in the Postpartum club yet, but I wanted to give you a virtual hug!

And this may or may not help, but I'm in TX too and I think the whole state is having flea problems!! UGH!

But recently someone told me about getting the yellow Listerine and spraying that on the carpet.  Never tried it, but they swore by it.

Hope that things brighten up for you soon!

 


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Old 07-05-2011, 12:55 PM
 
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I want to start back working out. Anyone else getting to that point yet?


Yep - I did my first workout today. It was all of 30 minutes - mostly squats, kicks and jumping jacks. I started bleeding a bit towards the middle of it, so I might have to start even more slowly than I had thought. I am really, really itching to exercise. It is my main route to sanity. I am only 2 1/2 weeks postpartum, though, so I know it might just be too early.

Holly, I can't believe you weighed the baby at the post office! That is too funny! But a pretty good idea. I weighed Jude yesterday and he is a whole pound heavier! Not bad for 2 weeks old!

Jude is sleeping the day away which means he will be up all night again. We have guests coming any minute now so I can't take a nap. Bah. I am so damn sick of the parade of visitors.

hh2.gif Proud Mama to DS1 09/07 ribboncesarean.gif, DD 07/09 hbac.gif, and DS2 06/11 uc.jpg.  Feeling more and more blessed with each day!

 

 
 
 
  

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Old 07-05-2011, 01:38 PM
 
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 I keep thinking "I don't want you to kiss me, I want you to clean the kitchen!" :p


Right there with you! I established a 2x 2 foot space in the house (right in front of the bathroom sink) where no one can touch me or talk to me unless it's absolutely necessary.


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Old 07-05-2011, 05:58 PM
 
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Sorry people are having such a crappy day! I hope it improves! Hubby and I had a stupid argument earlier, but it has more or less passed (I think a lot of it was just sleep deprivation more than anything). We took Amelia back to the doctor today and she weighed at 8 lb 7 oz, while she weighed 7 lb 5 oz last week; however, that was while wearing her harness, so some of the weight is the harness, and also in a heavier diaper than last week. So until we can weigh the harness separately, I don't really know how much weight she gained, but I am sure she gained at least a few ounces. I hope we can give her a bath tonight and pop the harness on the scale while she's out of it. The doc said she does look slightly tongue-tied but she doesn't think it's something she would worry about until she gets old enough to eat solid food and then we'll see if it's still causing her problems. So I guess now we are just waiting out my nipple pain and seeing if it goes away. I think it is getting better at least on the right side. I need to keep using the lanolin--I keep forgetting about it, and I also have these gel-pad things to keep in my bra but they hardly seem worth it when she's feeding every hour.

 

Also we took a totally gratuitous field trip--went to Volunteers of America to get some old T-shirts to cut up to make wipes, and then to Sears so hubby could fix my lamp. It's kind of fun taking Amelia out in public and watching people coo and melt over her. Although after a while my arms get tired, and it's so darn hot I haven't wanted to use the wrap carrier, especially since I haven't really gotten the hang of it yet and also I want to talk to the orthopedic nurse just to make sure it's okay to use.

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Old 07-05-2011, 07:36 PM
 
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Jenni: Yikes, that's the pits. :( Is there any chance you'll get child support for the new babe coming through before you have to move?

 

Right now a lady from church is planting strawberry plants in my garden! She came over bearing three hunks of frozen soup and three small children, who are playing with DD in the living room. Well, sort of. She's watching them balefully as they play with her toys and ignore her, and muttering "That's mine!" under her breath from time to time. I think having a sibling will do her good. :p

 

Tomorrow our flatmate's mother is coming over for dinner, so I have me some baking to do! I need to make olive bread, garlic butter, chocolate layer cake and white chocolate ice cream... and a roast chicken and veggies, but DH will help with that. Oddly enough, it makes me feel less depressed. I guess having small, concrete goals is never a bad thing. Especially when they involve chocolate.

 

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It's kind of fun taking Amelia out in public and watching people coo and melt over her.

Heh. We took Miles to the supermarket yesterday, and an old lady in the checkout queue was appropriately coo-ey... but then the checkout lady was all "What's wrong with his eyelids?" He has some red pressure marks on them from being born. But sheesh, lady, what's wrong with "Aww, isn't he cute"?

 

Had a nice visit from my MW today. She weighed Miles, and he's 10 pounds 12 now! Gained 260 grams in the last five days. We had a nice cosy chat about vaccinations and homebirthing and other such controversial matters - and namely, how to keep people from bugging you about them. :p I don't know whether or not she vaxed her kids, but she does own a copy of A Shot in the Dark, and didn't seem at all disapproving of me not vaxing. So that was cool.


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Old 07-05-2011, 09:06 PM
 
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I'm officially calling it colic. She just isn't happy. I've nursed her hours on end. Burped endlessly. Held and snuggled her. Bounced her. Changed her diaper. Massage. I even broke down and had DH feed her two ounces of formula because NOTHING seemed to be working (and I desperately needed a shower.) She's running on as much sleep (or as little I should say) as I am. She WON'T sleep for more than 5 minutes in arms or out.

 

I've never dealt with this before. And I really don't have the ability to just sit around all day with no sleep trying to keep her calm and happy. I have 3 other kids. One of which is still a baby herself.

 

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Old 07-06-2011, 10:57 AM
 
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Originally Posted by erigeron View Post
It's kind of fun taking Amelia out in public and watching people coo and melt over her. Although after a while my arms get tired, and it's so darn hot I haven't wanted to use the wrap carrier, especially since I haven't really gotten the hang of it yet and also I want to talk to the orthopedic nurse just to make sure it's okay to use.


I have to admit, I LOVE this part of having a new baby! I adore him and think he's the sweetest baby ever and it thrills me to no end when everyone else feels that way too. :)  It's been hot here too, over 100 for the high every day since Ezrah was born. I put him in my Faurgo (faux Ergo, aka Infantino Union carrier) and haul him around anyway because it's just easier that way.

 



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Jenni: Yikes, that's the pits. :( Is there any chance you'll get child support for the new babe coming through before you have to move?

 

Right now a lady from church is planting strawberry plants in my garden! She came over bearing three hunks of frozen soup and three small children, who are playing with DD in the living room. Well, sort of. She's watching them balefully as they play with her toys and ignore her, and muttering "That's mine!" under her breath from time to time. I think having a sibling will do her good. :p

 

Tomorrow our flatmate's mother is coming over for dinner, so I have me some baking to do! I need to make olive bread, garlic butter, chocolate layer cake and white chocolate ice cream... and a roast chicken and veggies, but DH will help with that. Oddly enough, it makes me feel less depressed. I guess having small, concrete goals is never a bad thing. Especially when they involve chocolate.

 

Heh. We took Miles to the supermarket yesterday, and an old lady in the checkout queue was appropriately coo-ey... but then the checkout lady was all "What's wrong with his eyelids?" He has some red pressure marks on them from being born. But sheesh, lady, what's wrong with "Aww, isn't he cute"?

 

Had a nice visit from my MW today. She weighed Miles, and he's 10 pounds 12 now! Gained 260 grams in the last five days. We had a nice cosy chat about vaccinations and homebirthing and other such controversial matters - and namely, how to keep people from bugging you about them. :p I don't know whether or not she vaxed her kids, but she does own a copy of A Shot in the Dark, and didn't seem at all disapproving of me not vaxing. So that was cool.


Actually, no. No child support, not ever, from Ezrah's "father". He refused to sign the birth certificate, which is necessary in the state of Texas because we're not married. My other option is to pursue the whole thing through the Office of the Attorney General, establishing paternity, getting child support, figuring out custody and visitation... But I'm not going to do it. His father has made it extremely clear that he doesn't want to be involved in Ezrah's life at all so I'm not going to force the issue. It will end up being a situation where Baby Daddy will make promises and not follow through, or be sporadic with visitation, and I doubt I'll ever see child support from him anyway. It's not worth the emotional and psychological damage to my child for the potential of child support. I'll be done with school in 18 months and I won't need a penny from his sorry hide anyway. Besides, his "reasons" for not wanting to be involved are so incredibly stupid that I'd rather have the negativity and pure stupidity out of our lives anyway.

 



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Originally Posted by Mommy2Austin View Post

I'm officially calling it colic. She just isn't happy. I've nursed her hours on end. Burped endlessly. Held and snuggled her. Bounced her. Changed her diaper. Massage. I even broke down and had DH feed her two ounces of formula because NOTHING seemed to be working (and I desperately needed a shower.) She's running on as much sleep (or as little I should say) as I am. She WON'T sleep for more than 5 minutes in arms or out.

 

I've never dealt with this before. And I really don't have the ability to just sit around all day with no sleep trying to keep her calm and happy. I have 3 other kids. One of which is still a baby herself.

 

banghead.gif


I'm so sorry! I've never dealt with that either so I'm not really a help. Have you tried gripe water? I have friends who swear by that for their colicky babies. I think Rescue Remedy helps too, for some babies anyway. And apparently probiotics are now showing some effects on reducing colic. I hope you can get some sleep soon!

 

 

Of course, since I've been all stressed out it's totally leaking over to the baby. He's been nursing constantly for the past 2 days and only takes cat naps and ONLY ON me. As soon as I set him down to sleep in the bed, he wakes up. That makes going anywhere or doing anything almost impossible because he fusses & cries in the car and anywhere else we go. And then my mom yells at me for not doing anything with my kids. ARGH!!

 

There is some good news. My mom and I are going to talk tonight. I'm not sure what about exactly, other than our situation and what's going on. We do need to clarify some expectations I think. She wants me to be little Suzy Homemaker and do all kinds of craft projects and such with the kids. But it's all I can do to eat 3 meals a day and clean the kitchen, with the occasional trip to the store for milk. I don't want to exercise, I don't want to go traipsing around the Nature Center and every museum in all of the DFW metroplex. It's a huge hassle to go to the lake for the day with just the kids and I. I have to relearn how to do EVERYTHING with this new person in our family. And there isn't anyone else that can run to the store or make the phone calls or whatever else needs to be done to keep things going. Add the whole no money thing and it equals a lot of stress, which makes me shut down.

 


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Old 07-06-2011, 04:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Mommy2Austin View Post

I'm officially calling it colic. She just isn't happy. I've nursed her hours on end. Burped endlessly. Held and snuggled her. Bounced her. Changed her diaper. Massage. I even broke down and had DH feed her two ounces of formula because NOTHING seemed to be working (and I desperately needed a shower.) She's running on as much sleep (or as little I should say) as I am. She WON'T sleep for more than 5 minutes in arms or out.


I'm sorry! I have no idea what to do but I hope matters improve for you.

 

Jenni, hope the talk with your mom goes well. That sucks that she has such unrealistic expectations. I have only the one kid and hubby around, and our house is still going to h*ll cleanliness-wise--I can't imagine trying to keep things in perfect order with 3, even if 2 are old enough to do something.

 

We went to our local natural family living store today and got a BabyHawk, which is a Mei Tai style carrier. I hadn't thought that a Mei Tai would work for me since I tend to have issues with tightness in my shoulders, but I liked the way this one spread the weight out over my body and it really didn't bother my shoulders and back. And since it ties it'll be easy to share with my husband if he wants to use it. I also tried a Beco but didn't like it as much--the straps felt kind of weird. it's such a hassle wrestling her into the Snuggy Baby because of her hip harness, so I think this will be a lot better. So I wore her for about an hour while watching TV and cutting out some stuff for my next sewing project (going to make more breast pads out of T-shirt fabric). Then she pooped all over everything, so we had to give her a bath and wash everything I was wearing including the carrier. And then she spent the next 2 hours on the boob with maybe 10 minutes off at a time. I'm worn out and headachy and want a nap, but I've sort of given up on that. So instead I'm eating. The corn that came in our farm share this week is amazing. Oh, and I got some cloth dipes (some fitteds and some BumGenius) at a yard sale that I'm looking forward to trying out, though I didn't realize the BumGenius were AIOs instead of pockets because I wasn't paying attention. Bum Genius don't work on her right now anyway because the tabs and the harness don't play well together. But I'm sure I'll use them down the line.

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Old 07-06-2011, 05:40 PM
 
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Things were a little better last night. She finally settled down around midnight. I went to bed like normal and DH promised to bring her in when she woke up. He said he brought her in around 3ish which means I got a good stretch of sleep. She nursed on and off and I finally got up around 10. DH slept in the living room so he would get up when I did and so that his snoring wouldn't wake up the baby like it had the night before.

 

We're going grocery shopping tonight and I'm really focusing on buying all good foods. No junk. Basically meat and veggies. Maybe some frozen fruit. I'm going to work on drinking more water/tea and less sugary soda. I'm thinking it might help everything and pull me out of this funky cycle of BLAH.


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Old 07-06-2011, 05:55 PM
 
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Jenni: He sounds like a real charmer! irked.gif There's no way you could get child support without allowing him to have a relationship with the baby (to avoid disappointment issues later on)? I don't really know how these things work... but I do firmly hold to the opinion that if you help create a baby, you darn well help pay for its upkeep. But I realise things aren't always that easy. :( I hope things start looking up soon!

 

DH gave me "the Mom Cut" yesterday. Well, sorta. :p He hacked off about seven inches of my hair... which is considerably less dramatic than it sounds, as it went from below my bottom to hip-length. (I was going to be rash and cut it back to waist, but DH left a few inches of leeway in case of mistakes, and when he finally got it straight he didn't want to tempt fate!) It looks much less scraggly now, and should be easier to take care of. I hate dealing with my hair post-partum, and I'd hack it all off, except I look atrocious with short hair... at least, I did when I was twelve, and haven't dared to repeat the experiment since. :p

 

Was intending to go to Bible study today, but just could not get out of bed by 9:15. I eventually got up at, um, 11. We really need to stop living with such a screwy timetable! We have breakfast at, like, 11:30, and then lunch at 3, and dinner at 8 or 9... and don't go to bed until eleven or twelve, and then get up really late. We've never been exactly early-to-bed-early-to-rise types, but it's gotten ridiculous recently. Probably isn't helping my mental health any.

 

Right, I have to go bake stuff! Will visit my mother this afternoon: she's always keen to see the baby.


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Old 07-06-2011, 06:29 PM
 
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I had a pretty good afternoon. I met up with some other expat mothers I met through a local FB group. They seemed really nice. It's so good to make new connections, especially seeing as I don't so many people here.

 

I finally found out a burping method that works pretty well! I've been using it today and baby girl's been puking less, and less fussy - result! Here's the technique: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xcGbd8xWGI

 

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Originally Posted by erigeron View Post

Jenni, hope the talk with your mom goes well. That sucks that she has such unrealistic expectations. I have only the one kid and hubby around, and our house is still going to h*ll cleanliness-wise--I can't imagine trying to keep things in perfect order with 3, even if 2 are old enough to do something.


Yep, I hope it goes well too Jenni. I totally agree with erigeron - I have both my husband AND my mother here to help for the first month, and one older child, and our house is still a disaster zone. And taking kids out and doing craft activities? Forget it. I hope your mother can readjust her expectations.

 

Regarding the sperm donor (hope you don't mind me calling him that, "father" doesn't fit), it sounds like you'll all be better off with him out of your lives. I want to encourage you to go for child support, but I have no idea how it works so I'll just assume you've weighed your options and doing what you feel is best.

 

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Things were a little better last night. She finally settled down around midnight. I went to bed like normal and DH promised to bring her in when she woke up. He said he brought her in around 3ish which means I got a good stretch of sleep. She nursed on and off and I finally got up around 10. DH slept in the living room so he would get up when I did and so that his snoring wouldn't wake up the baby like it had the night before.


I'm glad you got a little sleep. hug2.gif


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DH gave me "the Mom Cut" yesterday. Well, sorta. :p He hacked off about seven inches of my hair... which is considerably less dramatic than it sounds, as it went from below my bottom to hip-length. (I was going to be rash and cut it back to waist, but DH left a few inches of leeway in case of mistakes, and when he finally got it straight he didn't want to tempt fate!) It looks much less scraggly now, and should be easier to take care of. I hate dealing with my hair post-partum, and I'd hack it all off, except I look atrocious with short hair... at least, I did when I was twelve, and haven't dared to repeat the experiment since. :p

 

I got nervous when I read that you'd cut off 7 inches, but it sounds like you have plenty to spare!

 

Mine's a total disaster at the moment. My fringe was down to my nose, so I attempted to cut it, only to realise that the scissors I was using were totally blunt and wrecking my hair. So I stopped halfway through and now it's all wonky. I think I'm going to see if I can get a freelance hairdresser to come to my house for a cut. It's only been about a year since my last one. redface.gif

 


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Old 07-06-2011, 07:15 PM
 
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I finally found out a burping method that works pretty well! I've been using it today and baby girl's been puking less, and less fussy - result! Here's the technique: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xcGbd8xWGI

Drat. I already know that one. I was googling burp techniques for ages last night, but it doesn't seem like there have been any innovations in the field since I googled them three years ago for DD! It's funny how different DD and Miles are - she used to burp well with the twisting-from-the-waist technique, which has never worked for him. Miles prefers the simple over-the-shoulder back-patting method. DD used to like the "flying baby" technique, Miles doesn't. And she threw up a LOT more than he does - he's only vomited copious amounts of milk maybe 4 or 5 times in his tiny life? And people say all babies are the same!

 

Miles made cute gurgly noises in his sleep this morning, and DD started giggling. I think she was asleep too. :p Having the whole family sleep in one room is kinda fun sometimes!


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Old 07-06-2011, 07:52 PM
 
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Jenni, I'm sure you are aware, but child support and visitation are separate issues, but yes, sometimes pursuing child support can cause an uninvolved bio-dad to want visitation since he feels he's 'paying for it' anyway. Technically, you can get child support and then he would have to pursue visitation separately. But, without him on the birth certificate, he'd have to first pursue paternity THEN visitation and that can be a deterrent for an uninvolved dad.  It's a tough choice I'm sure.

 

I don't even burp my babe mostly and he seems to be fine. During the day if I think about it, I will. And no pukes other than a teensy little spit up a few times. So different than my others. They were power pukers! I suppose there is always the future...LOL  He did have a massive blow out diaper yesterday--first one and of course when we were out. And, he was in the carrier. And, we were shopping....over an hour from home. And, my shirt got the brunt of it. Luckily, it just so happened that I'd purchased a new shirt earlier in the day :) But, it was a 10 or more baby wipe complete change for baby and mom in the parking lot. Ah fun!  I think it's the last of wearing the NB diapers as they are really just too small <already!?>.

 


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Old 07-07-2011, 08:48 AM
 
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Jenni: He sounds like a real charmer! irked.gif There's no way you could get child support without allowing him to have a relationship with the baby (to avoid disappointment issues later on)? I don't really know how these things work... but I do firmly hold to the opinion that if you help create a baby, you darn well help pay for its upkeep. But I realise things aren't always that easy. :( I hope things start looking up soon!

 

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Regarding the sperm donor (hope you don't mind me calling him that, "father" doesn't fit), it sounds like you'll all be better off with him out of your lives. I want to encourage you to go for child support, but I have no idea how it works so I'll just assume you've weighed your options and doing what you feel is best.

 

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Jenni, I'm sure you are aware, but child support and visitation are separate issues, but yes, sometimes pursuing child support can cause an uninvolved bio-dad to want visitation since he feels he's 'paying for it' anyway. Technically, you can get child support and then he would have to pursue visitation separately. But, without him on the birth certificate, he'd have to first pursue paternity THEN visitation and that can be a deterrent for an uninvolved dad.  It's a tough choice I'm sure.

 

Snowflake, I don't mind you calling him the sperm donor. That's what I've started referring to him as in my head as well.

 

Right now he has no legal rights to Ezrah because he's not on the birth certificate. That means that he doesn't have to pay child support because the state doesn't recognize him as Ezrah's father. That also means that if he wants to see the baby or establish visitation/custody arrangements, he legally cannot because he has no legal rights to the baby. So I can establish paternity and get child support, but that means that as a result of the sperm donor being established as Ezrah's father, we have to figure out a custody agreement. And then once the custody agreement has been established, he'd probably never do anything about it, but since it would be on the books, so to speak, if he decided after 3 years of zero contact that he wanted to exercise his visitation or whatever, I would have to let him do it. Even if he'd never seen the baby at all and Ezrah had no idea who he even is. Since SD (sperm donor) has already shown that he can't be depended on to follow through or tell the truth, I can see him doing something like that. And it would have terrible consequences for Ezrah. Since there's no way to get child support without establishing paternity, and custody comes along with that package, I'm just going to forfeit the child support so that I can protect Ezrah from the heartbreak of a father who will disappear for months at a time and then pop back up acting like nothing ever happened and he wasn't just MIA for months.

 

 

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Was intending to go to Bible study today, but just could not get out of bed by 9:15. I eventually got up at, um, 11. We really need to stop living with such a screwy timetable! We have breakfast at, like, 11:30, and then lunch at 3, and dinner at 8 or 9... and don't go to bed until eleven or twelve, and then get up really late. We've never been exactly early-to-bed-early-to-rise types, but it's gotten ridiculous recently. Probably isn't helping my mental health any.


My schedule has been like that too! I'm trying to get back to a somewhat normal schedule, but it's so hard to get up in the morning.

 

I did actually manage to haul myself out of bed before 10 am today. I've been wanting to wash and repaint our mailbox and I can't do it when it's hot outside. Spray paint just doesn't do well when it's 104F outside, you know? And the stupid birds in our tree out front, I swear, are using the mailbox as poop target practice. I hosed and scrubbed it off, dried it, sprayed it with the new paint (a darker version of the purple that was already on there) and even painted our house number on it as well. I even repainted the flag. Now I just need to find the spray clear coat so I can protect all my work!

 

Mom and I didn't end up talking last night. By the time that she got home from the chiropractor and Central Market after being at work all day the kids were chomping at the bit to do their fireworks. Since the big blow up was on the 4th, none of us felt like doing fireworks and celebrating anything. The kids lost their chance to do them on the 5th because they were throwing those little poppers at each other's feet. Dummies. So we finally did them last night and it was fun! I normally don't light fireworks, but I wasn't about to let the kids do it, so I was the designated lighter person. And the hose person. I didn't want to set our yard on fire so I was hosing the yard down so the sparks wouldn't light a fire. Ezrah slept through the whole thing in the Faurgo. Even through the killer bee one, which has that really high pitched and LOUD whistley sort of noise.

 

And the cleaners came yesterday as well! Our house was actually pretty clean already, because we spent a huge part of the day on Monday cleaning it, and having the kids redo their cleaning until it was actually clean...  But that actually worked out well because the cleaners had time to do the stuff that we don't, like washing walls, cupboard doors, baseboards, and more. I walked the kids through the house and showed them everything and said, "THIS is what the house should look like after it's been cleaned. THIS is what Oma and I are talking about when we tell you that the sink needs to be cleaned."  The kids were mostly impressed with the fact that their beds were made by the housecleaners. Weirdos.

 




 

 



 

 


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Old 07-07-2011, 12:43 PM
 
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Jenni - I've been thinking about you.  I hope you and your mom get to talk soon and work something out.  I hope she realizes how hard you are trying.  Hugs to you!!!

 

 

Nursing question:  I have been starting to get sore on my left side over the past few days, but as of this morning, I'm almost screaming when either of my girls nurse.  I doesn't look red or inflamed, but it HURTS...and not even when they latch on...it's when they really start sucking once let down happens.  Any thoughts?  I'm afraid of thrush, but not sure that is it.  I don't see any blisters either.  Ugh. 


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Old 07-07-2011, 01:23 PM
 
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Jenni - I've been thinking about you.  I hope you and your mom get to talk soon and work something out.  I hope she realizes how hard you are trying.  Hugs to you!!!

 

 

Nursing question:  I have been starting to get sore on my left side over the past few days, but as of this morning, I'm almost screaming when either of my girls nurse.  I doesn't look red or inflamed, but it HURTS...and not even when they latch on...it's when they really start sucking once let down happens.  Any thoughts?  I'm afraid of thrush, but not sure that is it.  I don't see any blisters either.  Ugh. 


It sounds more like a clogged duct than thrush. Thrush usually hurts with latching, not later on in nursing. If it's hurting after/with let-down it could be because there is milk that is backed up and can't get out. Massaging the area, especially while nursing, should help.

 


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Old 07-07-2011, 01:40 PM
 
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Jenni, be aware that even if he is NOT on the birth certificate in most states he could still petition to have paternity established if he can show a relationship (or even a one night stand) within a time period that could establish him as the father of the baby. And then get visitation, but if he's not inclined to be involved, it wouldn't be very likely. And, agreed that if you can live without it, sounds like you're better off not having him on there!

 

Andrea, try massaging that breast like Jenni suggests when they nurse to really clear all the milk out. Thrush can be a stabby kind of pain while nursing, but you'll usually see evidence of white plaque in baby's mouth too or cracked lips on baby/cracked nipples too is another sign and latching is usually painful.

 

I need a haircut too....and a pedi. My feet are so dry from wearing flip flops!


~Mama to my boys~ to a teen, a tween & a toddler and surro-mama to twins and their sister

Livin' in the sticks with my chicks chicken3.gif and lovin' it!

2014:  4/52 projects  0/2014 things 0/52 books

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