Feeling overwhelmed - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 9 Old 06-17-2011, 05:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
lilyrn11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: california
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm due June 23. Excited and happy that my little one will be here soon but totally overwhelmed and almost always on the verge of tears. I just went on maternity leave yesterday from my physically/emotionally stressful job in the ER and I feel lost. I made a list of things I still have to do such as register at the hospital and pack my hospital bag. I still have to wash baby clothes.My house is a disaster and I have my two children too to take care of. I felt so horrible yesterday (cxns and nausea)  that I didn't get anything done besides attend to my children. We didn't do anything fun :( I had such high hopes for maternity leave to prepare the house and myself and I feel myself just wanting to break down and cry. My husband works long hours and he knows I am stressed but really doesn't really know how to help me. Shoot I don't know how he could help me. I really don't want to bring this little one into a stressful environment. I don't want my son and daughter to not enjoy their summer with their mommy. I am almost wishing I could just escape back to work and forget that I am pregnant and about to deliver. Horrible I know :(

lilyrn11 is offline  
#2 of 9 Old 06-17-2011, 05:15 AM
 
staryla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tornado Alley
Posts: 141
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

HUGS!

 

It will be okay mama.  Even if NOTHING else gets done your baby will still be born when the time is right for them and your baby won't care if the house is a mess or if you had everything packed ahead of time for the hospital.  Despite feeling terrible yesterday you did the most important job--taking care of your two kiddos!  I think us moms expect way too much from ourselves--it's irrational to think we can do EVERYTHING when only days/minutes away from giving birth. 

 

Give yourself a break.  Try to find peace where you can.  Accept that you probably won't get everything done.  Remind yourself that you will NOT feel this way all summer long.  (I'm saying these things to myself too!)

Momsteader likes this.

Lovin my SAHD DH and 2 kiddos

staryla is offline  
#3 of 9 Old 06-17-2011, 07:48 AM
 
wake_up's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: TX
Posts: 407
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by staryla View Post

 

Give yourself a break.  Try to find peace where you can.  Accept that you probably won't get everything done.  Remind yourself that you will NOT feel this way all summer long.  (I'm saying these things to myself too!)



Yes.  Me too.  We're gonna make it!  Some days it's really hard to see the light/baby at the end of that tunnel...


lover of K partners.gif mom to S superhero.gifb.12/07  and C joy.gifb.6/11
 
 
 

wake_up is offline  
#4 of 9 Old 06-17-2011, 07:55 AM
 
cuddlemama0507's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 155
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I totally understand how you feel.  It seems like the very end of pregnancy is the absolute toughest part.  And, I agree, as women, we put very, very high expectations on ourselves.  We expect that we can do everything to make our worlds "perfect," but it does not always turn out how we plan or imagine.  Be kind to yourself and remember that you are being a wonderful mama to your 2 children and your baby will be here very soon.  Things always end up working themselves out.  Much love to you!


Mama to my 4-year-old lil' man and with a new little one on the way.
cuddlemama0507 is offline  
#5 of 9 Old 06-17-2011, 10:37 AM
 
junebug2011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 91
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

As a fellow RN, trust me it will take you a little while to integrate after you go on maternity leave. I worked Labor and Delivery, nights, till 38 weeks and it took me a week and a half just to calm on so that I could tune in. Remember that the nesting impulse in our pregnant brains is instinctive, but it is also so overkill, that is why there is a term for it! Your energy won't catch up to your planning brain for a little while. I felt sooo overwhelmed getting everything ready, but in the end most of it was superfluous. Just coming off working into your third trimester you need down time before you get some energy back. And remember the burst of energy that comes in the days/hours before labor! In pre- and early labor dh and I finished about eight projects I had been angstily staring down for weeks before the birth. And after baby came and I held her in my arms, I did not care about anything besides her. All your baby needs is your heart, your arms and your milk :) You won't be ok with this idea until he or she comes.

 

Deep cleaning your house is a perfect activity for the pregnant mama in the very last days before birth. I felt tired, tired tired and incapable of anything, then as my body got ready for labor I got that burst of energy back. I think it is the perfect design. Postpartum do you have anyone to come help? That made a huge difference for us. If a loving friend, sister or mother is around you don't have to organize every last thing to have ready for the time when you won't be able to do it yourself. If no one is around you could also consider hiring a postpartum doula. A great investment I think! 

 

Be easy on yourself! You are a great mama :) You are totally ready for this new baby even if you don't feel like you are.

Momsteader likes this.

treehugger.gifIn love with dh and mama to dd, born at home 6/3/2011 stillheart.gif

junebug2011 is offline  
#6 of 9 Old 06-18-2011, 06:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
lilyrn11's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: california
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks ladies that made me feel so much better. I went to my midwife and she said I'm 2cm dilated. I have been vomiting and having diarrhea. She thinks I have the flu. Got sent home with a script for zofran and instructions to rehydrate. I really don't want to be induced (she said my other option was to go to ld) I am having birth at the hospital but want to stay away from pitocin. I really appreciate the support. I feel so awful and my husband thinks I'm just being emotional.
lilyrn11 is offline  
#7 of 9 Old 06-18-2011, 07:32 AM
 
jshannyn519's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 974
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyrn11 View Post

Thanks ladies that made me feel so much better. I went to my midwife and she said I'm 2cm dilated. I have been vomiting and having diarrhea. She thinks I have the flu. Got sent home with a script for zofran and instructions to rehydrate. I really don't want to be induced (she said my other option was to go to ld) I am having birth at the hospital but want to stay away from pitocin. I really appreciate the support. I feel so awful and my husband thinks I'm just being emotional.


Ugh, the flu at the tail end of pregnancy? Yuck! And, if you are "just being emotional" then go with it! It's hard to handle all of the emotions and thoughts and fears at the end of pregnancy, even for those of us that have done it numerous times. You're growing a whole person, that will soon come out of your body (which always makes me think of that scene from Alien), and your family and life will change forever. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to sleep and eat chocolate and read trashy romance novels, then do it! Be sweet to yourself, you deserve it!

 

I'm not an RN yet, but I am a full-time nursing student. I finished my semester in May but it took me a week or two to settle into a new routine as well. I got so used to always having a million school-related things to do, combined with my kids' baseball & softball practices and games, that when I suddenly had what felt like nothing to do it was really hard.

 


Jenni
Momma to my boy (1/99) & girl (7/00), Birthmomma to my Ladybug (8/09), the new baby monkey boy born 6/6/11!
Student nurse, doula, future midwife, and breastfeeding, bedsharing, babywearing, organic gardening, God-loving single momma

jshannyn519 is offline  
#8 of 9 Old 06-18-2011, 07:59 AM
 
swimming-duck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 627
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

hug2.gif

 

End of pregnancy is really rough. You will likely get some energy after you rest for a bit. Working full-time at the end of pregnancy zaps the life out of you! And with your DH gone a lot, it's no wonder you are very emotional and overwhelmed. Everyone else has hit the nail on the head with be easy on yourself. I do think it's true that we expect way too much of ourselves. And I do remember after having DS that none of it mattered. But it's hard to keep that in perspective. I think sometimes we're still psychologically nesting even when we don't have the physical energy to actually complete nesting tasks. That's a very hard place to be in.


Crystal (34) married to nursing student DH (38) partners.gif ,  mama to superhero.gif(7/07), brokenheart.gif (1/09), and rainbow1284.gifjammin.gif (7/11) and stork-suprise.gif (12/28) homebirth.jpgwaterbirth.jpg homeschool.gif
swimming-duck is offline  
#9 of 9 Old 06-18-2011, 08:25 AM
 
Bald_Bull's_Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ptown IL
Posts: 436
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I would make a list (after you get better! for now, rest, watch movies with kids) of the stuff that needs to be done. Then prioritize it. Then go back and cross some stuff off. Plan out 1 to do thing and 1 fun thing for each day. I do to dos in the morning, then fun, then rest in the afternoon. I have really loosened up my TV policies. We snuggle up on the couch for a movie a couple of afternoons a week. Can you get someone to come over and help, to hang with kids, to take kids to the park while you rest or get things done?


BFing, bedsharing, toddler wearing, non-circing, vegan mama to the sweetest boy in the world (2/08), wife to my spicy rock star (4/06) and expecting a new family member 6/11
Bald_Bull's_Mama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off