I'm due June 23. Excited and happy that my little one will be here soon but totally overwhelmed and almost always on the verge of tears. I just went on maternity leave yesterday from my physically/emotionally stressful job in the ER and I feel lost. I made a list of things I still have to do such as register at the hospital and pack my hospital bag. I still have to wash baby clothes.My house is a disaster and I have my two children too to take care of. I felt so horrible yesterday (cxns and nausea) that I didn't get anything done besides attend to my children. We didn't do anything fun :( I had such high hopes for maternity leave to prepare the house and myself and I feel myself just wanting to break down and cry. My husband works long hours and he knows I am stressed but really doesn't really know how to help me. Shoot I don't know how he could help me. I really don't want to bring this little one into a stressful environment. I don't want my son and daughter to not enjoy their summer with their mommy. I am almost wishing I could just escape back to work and forget that I am pregnant and about to deliver. Horrible I know :(
It will be okay mama. Even if NOTHING else gets done your baby will still be born when the time is right for them and your baby won't care if the house is a mess or if you had everything packed ahead of time for the hospital. Despite feeling terrible yesterday you did the most important job--taking care of your two kiddos! I think us moms expect way too much from ourselves--it's irrational to think we can do EVERYTHING when only days/minutes away from giving birth.
Give yourself a break. Try to find peace where you can. Accept that you probably won't get everything done. Remind yourself that you will NOT feel this way all summer long. (I'm saying these things to myself too!)
Lovin my SAHD DH and 2 kiddos
Yes. Me too. We're gonna make it! Some days it's really hard to see the light/baby at the end of that tunnel...
lover of K mom to S b.12/07 and C b.6/11
I totally understand how you feel. It seems like the very end of pregnancy is the absolute toughest part. And, I agree, as women, we put very, very high expectations on ourselves. We expect that we can do everything to make our worlds "perfect," but it does not always turn out how we plan or imagine. Be kind to yourself and remember that you are being a wonderful mama to your 2 children and your baby will be here very soon. Things always end up working themselves out. Much love to you!
As a fellow RN, trust me it will take you a little while to integrate after you go on maternity leave. I worked Labor and Delivery, nights, till 38 weeks and it took me a week and a half just to calm on so that I could tune in. Remember that the nesting impulse in our pregnant brains is instinctive, but it is also so overkill, that is why there is a term for it! Your energy won't catch up to your planning brain for a little while. I felt sooo overwhelmed getting everything ready, but in the end most of it was superfluous. Just coming off working into your third trimester you need down time before you get some energy back. And remember the burst of energy that comes in the days/hours before labor! In pre- and early labor dh and I finished about eight projects I had been angstily staring down for weeks before the birth. And after baby came and I held her in my arms, I did not care about anything besides her. All your baby needs is your heart, your arms and your milk :) You won't be ok with this idea until he or she comes.
Deep cleaning your house is a perfect activity for the pregnant mama in the very last days before birth. I felt tired, tired tired and incapable of anything, then as my body got ready for labor I got that burst of energy back. I think it is the perfect design. Postpartum do you have anyone to come help? That made a huge difference for us. If a loving friend, sister or mother is around you don't have to organize every last thing to have ready for the time when you won't be able to do it yourself. If no one is around you could also consider hiring a postpartum doula. A great investment I think!
Be easy on yourself! You are a great mama :) You are totally ready for this new baby even if you don't feel like you are.
K In love with dh and mama to dd, born at home 6/3/2011
Thanks ladies that made me feel so much better. I went to my midwife and she said I'm 2cm dilated. I have been vomiting and having diarrhea. She thinks I have the flu. Got sent home with a script for zofran and instructions to rehydrate. I really don't want to be induced (she said my other option was to go to ld) I am having birth at the hospital but want to stay away from pitocin. I really appreciate the support. I feel so awful and my husband thinks I'm just being emotional.
Ugh, the flu at the tail end of pregnancy? Yuck! And, if you are "just being emotional" then go with it! It's hard to handle all of the emotions and thoughts and fears at the end of pregnancy, even for those of us that have done it numerous times. You're growing a whole person, that will soon come out of your body (which always makes me think of that scene from Alien), and your family and life will change forever. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to sleep and eat chocolate and read trashy romance novels, then do it! Be sweet to yourself, you deserve it!
I'm not an RN yet, but I am a full-time nursing student. I finished my semester in May but it took me a week or two to settle into a new routine as well. I got so used to always having a million school-related things to do, combined with my kids' baseball & softball practices and games, that when I suddenly had what felt like nothing to do it was really hard.
Momma to my boy (1/99) & girl (7/00), Birthmomma to my Ladybug (8/09), the new baby monkey boy born 6/6/11!
Student nurse, doula, future midwife, and breastfeeding, bedsharing, babywearing, organic gardening, God-loving single momma
End of pregnancy is really rough. You will likely get some energy after you rest for a bit. Working full-time at the end of pregnancy zaps the life out of you! And with your DH gone a lot, it's no wonder you are very emotional and overwhelmed. Everyone else has hit the nail on the head with be easy on yourself. I do think it's true that we expect way too much of ourselves. And I do remember after having DS that none of it mattered. But it's hard to keep that in perspective. I think sometimes we're still psychologically nesting even when we don't have the physical energy to actually complete nesting tasks. That's a very hard place to be in.
I would make a list (after you get better! for now, rest, watch movies with kids) of the stuff that needs to be done. Then prioritize it. Then go back and cross some stuff off. Plan out 1 to do thing and 1 fun thing for each day. I do to dos in the morning, then fun, then rest in the afternoon. I have really loosened up my TV policies. We snuggle up on the couch for a movie a couple of afternoons a week. Can you get someone to come over and help, to hang with kids, to take kids to the park while you rest or get things done?