I am feeling so depressed - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 11-27-2010, 01:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OK I am having a very hard time so far with the pregnancy, it was planned and I am very excited about this baby but I can't stop crying and being depressed. I spent most of the day yesterday crying and today I am just depressed. Everything my girlfriend does is making me angry and I feel like l don't want to be with her. I am madly in love with her bbut now I can't stand her! Anyone else having depression issues?


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#2 of 22 Old 11-27-2010, 03:04 PM
 
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no depression issues here, but that must be difficult to be going through when you are trying to be excited for your pregnancy. Have you considered seeing a doctor, or someone you could talk to? It is probably in the best interest of you and your baby if you can get to the root of why you are feeling this way and figure out a way to cope.


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#3 of 22 Old 11-27-2010, 03:35 PM
 
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Mizyellow, im so sorry to hear that you are feeling that way :( I have heard of other woman being depressed while pregnant, I think its actually common, but  I would mention it to your doctor. Maybe there is a vitamin or something like that, that you're lacking and it could make all the difference. *hugs*


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#4 of 22 Old 11-27-2010, 03:47 PM
 
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I'm having stress issues and I think the end result is pretty similar.  We're in the middle of a move and returning to where we were a year ago after a huge move up to NC in January. Everything is up in the air right now. I am freaked out having 3 kids and one on the way with all of this going on.  I try to be calm, but it's really hard to.  We are moving on Tuesday, but will not be settled into our own, personal home until after the holidays are over.  I'm in a WTHbanghead.gif mode right now.

 

I say go with all of the above suggestions and just remember to breathe, take one step at a time and find some peace.  Hugs!


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#5 of 22 Old 11-27-2010, 04:12 PM
 
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It is my limited experience with only one prior pregnancy that pregnancy brings out everything you hoped to shove to the back of your emotional closet.

 

It is a great time to think about cleaning it out. Consider couples therapy so that you both set aside time to check in with each other and not brush off or deny any conflict.

 

I hope you can make some progress and feel better soon. 


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#6 of 22 Old 11-27-2010, 04:39 PM
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I'm depressed. I'll just be totally honest here, in the hopes that it makes you feel less alone. I'm so depressed, in fact, that at 12dpo (I got my BFP at 13dpo) I went to the doctor and got a prescription for Prozac and Amitriptyline. I took it exactly one day when I discovered that I was pregnant. We were trying this cycle, but timing was crap, my cervical fluid was crap, and I just didn't even think it was a possibility. I've been on Xanax and heavy duty sleeping pills (Restoril) since August, and obviously, I can't take any of those anymore. I kept taking the Prozac only until a few days ago, and the reason I stopped taking it is it made my insomnia a lot worse. I may have to go back on it, though, we'll see. I had gotten to the point that I wasn't moving off the couch for days, not washing my hair, not doing anything. I couldn't take care of my 3 year old anymore - I just couldn't force myself to go through the motions anymore. I have a lot of support from my mama and my partner, and that helps, but its not a cure all. I can't sleep - I lay in bed until the sun comes up, stressing and obsessing about every little thing. I am fighting these intense urges to run to the bar. I never thought of myself as having any kinds of substance abuse problems, but I think its very possible that I could, if I weren't pregnant at the moment. I'm in therapy, on and off, but it just hasn't helped me that I can see. I don't think I really click with my therapist, but I don't have insurance until December 1st, so I can't switch to someone else until then, since I'm going to a free place that provides counseling for bereaved parents. Depression really sucks, but depression during pregnancy sucks the most, because there isn't much you feel safe doing about it. A lot of doctors feel comfortable prescribing Prozac or Zoloft for pregnant patients, but a search on PubMed and the resulting medical journal articles scared me enough to give it one more go without anything. I'm thinking of going for some accupuncture soon to see if he can help me overcome these horrible thoughts and feelings. Good luck, mama, I sincerely hope that you find some way out of this. Please don't be afraid to seek help if you think it comes to that - there is nothing wrong with needing a little help sometimes. 

 

 

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#7 of 22 Old 11-27-2010, 06:04 PM
 
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mizyellow, i'm sorry you're going through this!  you are going *through* this though, and you won't feel like this forever.  the best thing you can do is go through the rituals of life, appreciate the things you get done, and forgive yourself for the things you didn't get to.  also, DO find a therapist to talk with, DO make sure that you like your therapist and feel cared for (DON'T stay with a therapist that isn't clicking with you).  DO your best to eat healthfully.  DO try to get your heart rate up a bit every day (it really really helps). 

 

DO remember that pregnancy hormones can make you crazy.  I felt utterly miserable through my last pregnancy, and once the baby was born, it was like the clouds lifted and i was a new person.  Also, my son is the sunniest person ever, so i don't think my pregnancy depression had any negative impact on him.  reassuring, right?  You're going to be okay, just don't abandon yourself.  <3

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#8 of 22 Old 11-27-2010, 08:35 PM
 
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I've been a bit depressed.  This pregnancy was SO unplanned and I really don't want to be pregnant.  I'll get over it eventually, but I won't lie that I wish this would just all go away.


Alisha, Army wife to Nathan , Homeschooling mama to Scheeli (May 2003) , Bronwynn (Nov. 2004) :, Piper (Nov. 2007) , and Wesley (January 2010)
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#9 of 22 Old 11-27-2010, 08:43 PM
 
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Hang in there mamas!  Pregnancy is difficult, especially the first trimester when there are so many changes going on in your body.  Hugs to all of you!  

 

Keep in mind that your body AND your mind need healthy fats to thrive, especially during pregnancy!  A fish oil supplement with EPA/DHA does wonders for some women, and many therapists prescribe this as a way to help the body cope with some forms of depression.  Make sure you're getting enough!

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#10 of 22 Old 11-28-2010, 06:16 AM
 
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Not doing so hot here either - just want to let you know you aren't alone! I'm counting on it being hormonal, and am just doing my best to stay as positive as possible. If it doesn't clear up in a few days (so about a week total), I will take further steps. Talk here if that helps, and if not, find other support people to lean on! This is not an easy time!


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#11 of 22 Old 11-28-2010, 06:37 AM
 
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Okay, so I wrote this huge response and then did something crazy and lost it.  I guess it was TMI & the universe was telling me so.

 

Y'all just hang in there.  I know it's hard.  My father has severe depression that runs in his family.  His father was bipolar and I think that dad is along those lines.  He's been on every type of med for 40 years.  I feel for him because, although I know what short-term depression is, I do not know what that is like, except for the experience of living with it as a family member.  I do know that seasons affect him and also unexpected events.  It's why my seemingly haphazard life drives him nuts and he cannot deal with it mentally.

 

My whole point was vitamin D.  It's so important for so many reasons and just getting out and getting sun on our faces can help our moods so much.  I feel better when I have been outside, walking, riding my bike, etc. than when I am stuck in this house that is so dark from all the trees around it.

 

LJ, pm me about what part of AL you are in.  I was born in Mobile and lived in Dothan until I was 4.  We are on the Gulf Coast between Destin and PCB.


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#12 of 22 Old 11-29-2010, 05:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks guys, yesterday it was a little bit better and I am hoping today is better too. I amsure it just hormonal I have never suffered from depression. I am actually an annoyingly happy person overall. I didn't have this with my son or the m/c baby. Maybe it means this is a girl ??? ;)

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#13 of 22 Old 12-02-2010, 05:05 AM
 
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LJ, I gave your post a thumbs up and as soon as I did, I realized that I shouldn't have.  I just meant that I am going through the exact same thing... trying to struggle through depression, had a previous stillbirth (I am so sorry for your tragic loss)...

 

I am sorry to everyone for what you are all going through.  For me, I am so depressed, all I do is cry.  I need to get on something.  I am in a bad place.  It is so hard, hormones all wonky, I have a loooonnnngggg history of depression, unplanned pregnancy (and frankly, I am far from thrilled about it), we are totally broke, trying to save our marriage... I am really, really trying to be happy about this pregnancy but I am just not.  My husband's reaction doesn't help:  "Well, Ker, you better get happy about it because there is nothing else we are going to do".  I agree with him but his delivery left much to be desired.

 

I am going to see if I can go back on prozac- I usually go on zoloft during pregnancy but I have never found it helpful.  Hang in there everyone!


Kerri, mom to Doran  angel2.gif  (born still 7/6/05 at 33 weeks), Mairaed (11/16/07),  angel1.gif 11/15/08 at 10 weeks,  Kieran (11/2/09).   angel1.gif 1/11/11 at 15 weeks
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#14 of 22 Old 12-02-2010, 05:13 AM
 
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With my ds I ended up having to go on anti d meds at 12 weeks because of the pg depression. It is less talked about than ppd but it is very real and is very treatable.

 
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#15 of 22 Old 12-02-2010, 05:51 AM
 
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I'm sorry you're feeling so badly, not nice when you should be basking in the glory of being pregnant.  In the same boat here.  Very depressed & yet to feel really happy about the pregnancy yet.  DH hasn't said anything nice to me about it yet.  It's crazy b/c I had DS by IVF & this one just happned so I should be thankful, elated, and so on, right? This feels like a bad joke.  I'm hoping that after the hormones regulate a little (& I don't feel sick for hours a day), I'll feel better.  I was on Wellbutrin & Zoloft before seeing the pink lines, but I dropped the WB immediately & the zoloft definitely isn't cutting it.  I'm seeing a therapist next week & a shrink the week after that to see what we can do about meds.

 

I did have something a little crazy happen the day I found out.  Within 3 hrs of peeing on a stick, someone informed me that a friend had died in a hit & run accident, he was my husband's age & has a little girl who's a year older than DS.  I never got a chance to process the surprise pregnancy & got this news.  My Mom (59 at the time) suddenly passed away a few years ago (shortly before I got pregnant) & everytime someone dies before their time, it freaks me out. The fact that this guy lived 2 miles from my house, is the same age as my husband & was a vivacious person just makes it all that worse.

 

Call your midwife or doctor & talk to them about it & or see a therapist or shrink.  You may just need a little extra support to get you thru the crazy hormonal stage.

 

I hope things get better for everyone!  Hang in there!


"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth."- Albert Einstein

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#16 of 22 Old 12-03-2010, 03:26 AM
 
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Ok I am frigging irked beyond relief.  I have a therapist (psychiatric nurse) who is able to prescribe meds but doesn't.  No psychiatrist in a 20 mile radius is taking new patients.  I called my OB who told me to talk to my primary care, who told me to talk to my OB because although he is able to prescribe meds, he prefers that the OB does.  So, I call back the OB who says they have to see me first, and they can't see me for 3 weeks.  So I call my primary care again, who tells me I have to make an appointment first- they are booking 5 weeks out.  irked.gif  So, after a total meltdown on the phone with  my mom yesterday, she is coming for a couple of weeks.  Which I am really grateful for.  I am such a mess.  It isn't so much  because of the pregnancy... It is everything else.  But of course depression and hormones during pregnancy just make me even more of a wreck. 

 

I am trying to get back into swapping cloth diapers, looking at new wraps and slings, etc.  Trying to do little things to get me excited about this baby.. I know as soon as this little one arrives, I will be so thrilled. I keep telling myself that my misery is temporary.  I do feel bad though- I was a "surprise" when my mom was 19 and unmarried, and she has never once said she didn't want me.  The guilt of an unwanted pregnancy is almost unbearable.  (I mean the feelings of  not wanting this baby).  Especially because after my son was stillborn, I got so angry at all the girls who didn't want their babies but were pregnant.. like they didn't know how lucky they were.  And here I am, so lucky to be able to carry children, and I am miserable.

 

Hopefully these hormones even out soon and I can get on some meds.  I feel like I shouldn't even post this for fear that you all will think I am a monster or something. 


Kerri, mom to Doran  angel2.gif  (born still 7/6/05 at 33 weeks), Mairaed (11/16/07),  angel1.gif 11/15/08 at 10 weeks,  Kieran (11/2/09).   angel1.gif 1/11/11 at 15 weeks
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#17 of 22 Old 12-03-2010, 06:38 AM
 
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maisiedotes- all of those providers know you're pregnant & depressed?  Ridiculous!  You are not a monster you are depressed & pregnant, which means that you are extra vulnerable.  Plus I can only imagine that having a stillbirth has a permanent affect on a Mom & affects your feelings about each pregnancy.  I'm in a similar boat.  I had IVF to have DS & got pregnant by surprise.  I wouldn't exactly say it's unwanted, but it's not great timing.  I'm overweight already depressed & things are not great with DH.  I'm hoping that I can begin to feel some joy soon.  My Aunt just reminded me that I was depressed when I was 1st pregnant with DS, then again my Mom had just died a few months before I got pregnant & the IVF was very hard on me.  Hang in there!  And don't beat yourself up. Your feelings are your feelings & if anyone here judges you for expressing them well then shame on them!  PM me anytime to you need to chat.

 

I had to make so many calls to find a shrink & I'm probably driving about 20-25 miles, but they got me in within 2 weeks & sounded very compassionate.  Some places wanted me to wait 2-3 mths...I'm pregnant & depressed for heaven's sake!  It will get better (I don't totally believe that yet, but I keep telling it to myself).


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#18 of 22 Old 12-06-2010, 05:41 AM
 
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Originally Posted by awallrising View Post

maisiedotes- all of those providers know you're pregnant & depressed?  Ridiculous!  You are not a monster you are depressed & pregnant, which means that you are extra vulnerable.  Plus I can only imagine that having a stillbirth has a permanent affect on a Mom & affects your feelings about each pregnancy.  I'm in a similar boat.  I had IVF to have DS & got pregnant by surprise.  I wouldn't exactly say it's unwanted, but it's not great timing.  I'm overweight already depressed & things are not great with DH.  I'm hoping that I can begin to feel some joy soon.  My Aunt just reminded me that I was depressed when I was 1st pregnant with DS, then again my Mom had just died a few months before I got pregnant & the IVF was very hard on me.  Hang in there!  And don't beat yourself up. Your feelings are your feelings & if anyone here judges you for expressing them well then shame on them!  PM me anytime to you need to chat.

 

I had to make so many calls to find a shrink & I'm probably driving about 20-25 miles, but they got me in within 2 weeks & sounded very compassionate.  Some places wanted me to wait 2-3 mths...I'm pregnant & depressed for heaven's sake!  It will get better (I don't totally believe that yet, but I keep telling it to myself).


Isn't it incredible that there is such a long wait to get in to see a psychiatrist??  I am demanding to be seen immediately.  Calling at 9:00 when they open.  This is ridiculous.  Awallrising, I am glad you only have to wait 2 weeks... my biggest issue is that nobody is comfortable prescribing anything.  It is not like I have not been on zoloft before (4 times)... for chrissakes, gimme something!  aargh! 


Kerri, mom to Doran  angel2.gif  (born still 7/6/05 at 33 weeks), Mairaed (11/16/07),  angel1.gif 11/15/08 at 10 weeks,  Kieran (11/2/09).   angel1.gif 1/11/11 at 15 weeks
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#19 of 22 Old 12-07-2010, 11:40 AM
 
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I hope everyone is feeling OK.. after a call to my primary care today, with no success, I called my health insurance for some guidance.  They have a behavioral health line. They were frigging useless. I explained my situation and that I need something immediately because I didn't think I could handle this depression, and the woman said "well, ma'am, all I can do is give you a list of providers".  what good is that going to do- NOBODY is taking new patients!  So, I ended up hanging up and calling my old OB/perinatologist at the hospital where I had my son and booked an appointment with her for next week AND she called me in a script for zoloft, same I was on last time.  Hallelujah!!!  I feel better already.


Kerri, mom to Doran  angel2.gif  (born still 7/6/05 at 33 weeks), Mairaed (11/16/07),  angel1.gif 11/15/08 at 10 weeks,  Kieran (11/2/09).   angel1.gif 1/11/11 at 15 weeks
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#20 of 22 Old 12-07-2010, 05:37 PM
 
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I'm having a hard time too. I'm doing a lot better now than several weeks ago, but I'm definitely not my old self. Before this pregnancy, I was happy 99% of the time and was able to find joy in all sorts of stupid little things. Now, I just don't feel like doing much of anything. Very little interest in my old fun activities, and occasional periods where despair just washes over me. This was a wanted pregnancy, and I like older children, but I dislike babies, and I just keep on thinking about having to take care of another baby again. My first child was an *incredibly* high needs baby and I can't allow myself assume this one will be any different. Plus, my husband goes out of town for two weeks of each month, so the thought of being alone with the baby during all that time just scares the crap out of me. I have an appt to see the mental health nurse practitioner (who is also a CNM) next week to weigh the risks/benefits of meds once I get out of my first trimester. I just want to be happy again but I don't know if that's possible, seeing as there are no drugs that will change my feelings about having a newborn. help.gif

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#21 of 22 Old 12-08-2010, 09:02 AM
 
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I am on Zoloft and have been for 8 years which means I had all my kids on it. They are all fine (Jake's death was a vaccine reaction) , happy and never had any b/f problems. I take 50mg and it has been a life saver during N's pregnancy although I cried every time I went to the ob/gyn. Make sure you get your thyroid levels checked. I take 75 micrograms of thyroid meds and have been feeling worse as well lately. My doctor confirmed that the thyroid can go belly up during any time you are pregnant and that can most definitely result in depression and the like.

I am feeling fine (cranky and impatient) but ok. So everyone out there suffering: My personal opinion is that it is better to take some meds then to feel so terrible all day that you can not take care of yourself and your kids.

Hang in there.

Get your thyroid checked.

Talk to your doctor about meds.

 

Sending my love!

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#22 of 22 Old 12-09-2010, 03:11 AM
 
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My midwife during my first pregnancy had said that the effects of depression on pregnancy (my particular depression anyways) was worse than any negative effects the zoloft could have. 

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Kerri, mom to Doran  angel2.gif  (born still 7/6/05 at 33 weeks), Mairaed (11/16/07),  angel1.gif 11/15/08 at 10 weeks,  Kieran (11/2/09).   angel1.gif 1/11/11 at 15 weeks
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