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Old 11-30-2010, 05:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello all.  I am very, very unexpectedly pregnant.  And not exactly thrilled about it.  I know that may hurt some, and I'm sorry, but I have to get this off my chest and this is the best place for me to let loose.

 

I have three awesome kids, my youngest is almost 18 mo and is still nursing.  She is a very high-needs kid, very bossy, very demanding, and such a little tattle-tale!  But she's so great and I can't imagine life without her.  She's mainly the reason I'm struggling so much with the thought of having another.  I can't keep up with her as is, how am I going to with a new baby!?!

 

My older two are awesome, easy-going kids who love each other and mind well.  They're great!

 

I just don't know if I can handle another kid.  And pregnancy.  The sickness and fatigue while trying to keep up with three, and take them to school, swimming lessons, basketball.... I can barely get up to go to the bathroom in the first trimester!  Ugh.

 

I really don't know when my last period was.  I think around 10/23.  I don't even know what my due date would be.  It just hasn't sunk in yet, and I'm trying to get excited about this, but it's not working. :(  DH is reeeaaaaallllyy not looking forward to another either.  We both thought we were done.

 

I've been bleeding very lightly for several days.  Red blood, no more than a panty liner per day.  I've had four miscarriages (3 of them before the 5th week), so it's not unlikely to happen again.  But with all of them I started really bleeding right away.  And with my last live birth I bled at about 5 weeks, but only for a day.  So this pregnancy could easily go either way.  I'm getting an hcg level today and another tomorrow (can't do 48 hours b/c of schedule conflict), so we'll see what my levels are doing.  The home tests are getting darker, unlike with my miscarriages.

 

My mom is going to kill me.  My sisters (one of who has been TTC for a year) are going to kill me.  My dad's going to tell me I'm stupid.  So please, bear with me when I come to vent.

 

I think, I hope, I can get excited about this.  I just need a little time for it to sink in.  I've only known for two days.

 

Sorry for the novel and pity party! :)


Shannon, AP mom to:
dd1, 8
ds1, 6
dd2, 3

ds2, 1

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Old 11-30-2010, 06:41 AM
 
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Don't apologize!  An unexpected pregnancy is a really hard thing to wrap your head around.  You are completely entitled to feel whatever you need to, for as long as you need to.  Luckily pregnancy is long enough that you have plenty of time to adjust and hopefully get to a place of excitement.  Hang in there!


Copper- wife to B, mama to DS1 Jeb 12.4.07, and DS2 William 8.11.11.  So thrilled to be expecting a surprise baby 10.26.14!!!
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Old 11-30-2010, 09:52 AM
 
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:hug Oh man your head must be spinning!  Whatever happens you'll be able to make it through.  My son is almost 3 and sounds very much like your daughter: very verbal, very opinionated!  It has been hard keeping up with him and getting enough to eat and drink.  We have been watching a lot more tv than usual lately.  My parents had my brother as a surprise (#4 as well), and while I am sure it was hard for her (she had to be on bed rest in the 3rd tri because of premature labor)  I don't think she regrets it now.  My brother is one of he sweetest guys you will ever meet.    It is hard too when people you know have trying for a long time and you just get prego without even thinking about it.  Not being one of those people (I'm in your camp, :lol)  I can't say what their reactions truly are but I hope they will be happy for you!  I really hope everything works out for you.


Cheryl, proud mama to Jackson... and a baby on the way!
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Old 11-30-2010, 10:09 AM
 
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DDCC

 

I could have written your post exactly 5 years ago. Super high needs, dramatic 8 month old (btw that hasn't changed about her AT ALL!). And I found myself pregnant! First day I was happy and then I got super depressed! I was miSERable! It wasn't until I went into preterm labor that I realized I had to get my sh*t together or else this baby wouldn't make it without being in the NICU first. So, I started to come around to the idea of her being a part of our life. Everything's been great since then....but I was 30 weeks when I finally realized I had to adjust! 


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Old 11-30-2010, 11:10 PM
 
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How are you feeling mama? hug2.gif

 

I can relate to your post (and to you apparently) sooo very much.

DH & I found out a couple weeks ago that we are expecting and I still am having trouble getting "enthused" about it. DH claimed defeat over the kiddies after we had two DD's (now ages 7 yrs and 2 yrs) and though I had my baby dabblings a few months ago, I had convinced myself to hold off because I wanted to take the IBCLC exam in July 2011.

 

Then I got 2 BFP's and all I had wished for in the next couple yrs was seeming to be an impossible mess. And then there was DD#2 to consider, very high needs and mommy attached (still nursing 3x a day). The guilt I feel regarding her short time as "the baby" is still causing me to lose sleep.

 

I'm taking care of myself but not completely committed to this pregnancy and since I've m/c 3x, I know my lack of excitement may be due to concerns about viability. gloomy.gif

 

I'm dreading the "what ever will you do?!" responses from my family and the toddler tantrums while heavily pregnant (something I'd promised myself I'd avoid!), but part of me thinks back to my DD#2's homebirth and only then do I get a wee bit excited.

 

Like the PP said so well, we have a good amount of time to adjust and built excitement. DH is planning the "snip snip" once this one is born, and our happy accident days will then be over.

 

AND I almost forgot to mention I'm a WIC Peer Breastfeeding counselor as well. Good to see another "PC" on here. Hang in there mama! hug2.gif


winner.jpgFormer WIC Peer Breastfeeding Counselor (2005-2011) now SAHM to bouncy.gif DD (8/2003), thumbsuck.gif DD (8/2008homebirth.jpg ), mate to jammin.gif since 07/2000. Expecting Baby Roo Mid July 2011!  stork-suprise.gifcd.gif

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Old 12-01-2010, 05:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all the support, mamas!  It really means a lot to me.

 

I have times when I feel so confident and know I can do this, then when I've got all three kiddos needing something at the same time, I just want to cry and I wonder how on earth I could add more to the mix!

 

A couple of good things.... I told my mom, and initially she cried and told me I was irresponsible and couldn't handle or afford another baby (like, she was talking retirement! Lol!  That's thinking really far ahead!).  Then I called her back later and she was better.  Over the initial shock and she said she knew it was a boy and she was thinking of names. lol!  So that went a little better than I thought.  I'm not telling anyone else til at least Christmas, including the older kids.

 

The next good thing is that last night was my first night weaning dd at night, and it went way better than I expected!  She cried for about 90 seconds the first time she woke, then less and less each time after that.  We co-sleep, so I thought that would compound the problem.  All in all, it was a very successful night, and that makes me feel better about this baby.  I was worried Emily would be attached to me forever, and didn't know where I'd put another baby. :)

 

I'm still bleeding a bit of dark red blood, but in my gut I know that this babe's not going anywhere any time soon.  I'll be calling for the results on my hcg in about a half hour, so that may tell me a bit.  The test I took is positive at 50miu, and that was 48 hours before my blood was drawn.  So I figured if the test was positive at 40miu it should be at least 80.  Course this isn't scientific, just my reasoning.  I'll have another draw tomorrow (since I canceled my other plans) and it will give me a real answer.

 

Inkedstar, that's awesome that you're a pc.  Do you love it!?  I do.  It really is great with my schedule and I feel so wonderful making a difference (I hope) in the health and lives of the families in my community. :)

 

Thanks again, everyone!


Shannon, AP mom to:
dd1, 8
ds1, 6
dd2, 3

ds2, 1

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Old 12-01-2010, 07:20 AM
 
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Hi Shannon! Welcome!

Do not feel bad, I am in the same boat as you, only I two live children and possibly twins on the way (confirmation next week). It is hard for me to imagine myself with four. It is even harder to imagine myself with two infants. I also had 2 m/c but that was before I was put on blood thinners for every pregnancy....

There are quite a few of us moms with surprises that do not seem that great to us right now. Kinda wishing to m/c (this sounds terrible, I know).

I also feel for the ones trying so hard and not getting pg. My family is just hoping for a singleton at this point since my pg symptoms are so strong I seriously doubt a m/c.

Good luck and much can happen in 8 more months....


Barbara, Mama to Isabel (06/2004), Jake (08/2006-03/2007), Noah (01/2008), and Matteo (07/2011) 
Please always research the safety of vaccines even if your doctor tells you they are harmless! novaxnocirc.gif

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Old 12-01-2010, 09:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by FlipMom23 View Post

Thanks for all the support, mamas!  It really means a lot to me.

 

I have times when I feel so confident and know I can do this, then when I've got all three kiddos needing something at the same time, I just want to cry and I wonder how on earth I could add more to the mix!

 

A couple of good things.... I told my mom, and initially she cried and told me I was irresponsible and couldn't handle or afford another baby (like, she was talking retirement! Lol!  That's thinking really far ahead!).  Then I called her back later and she was better.  Over the initial shock and she said she knew it was a boy and she was thinking of names. lol!  So that went a little better than I thought.  I'm not telling anyone else til at least Christmas, including the older kids.

 

 

Inkedstar, that's awesome that you're a pc.  Do you love it!?  I do.  It really is great with my schedule and I feel so wonderful making a difference (I hope) in the health and lives of the families in my community. :)

 

Thanks again, everyone!



I am so glad you're feeling a bit better and hope the test results are good!

 

Yes, I love being a PC, I've been one for 5 yrs now and find this job so challenging and rewarding. I work 20 hrs a week, mostly from home (so I can be w/my kiddos).


winner.jpgFormer WIC Peer Breastfeeding Counselor (2005-2011) now SAHM to bouncy.gif DD (8/2003), thumbsuck.gif DD (8/2008homebirth.jpg ), mate to jammin.gif since 07/2000. Expecting Baby Roo Mid July 2011!  stork-suprise.gifcd.gif

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Old 12-01-2010, 10:09 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
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Thanks for all the support, mamas!  It really means a lot to me.

 

I have times when I feel so confident and know I can do this, then when I've got all three kiddos needing something at the same time, I just want to cry and I wonder how on earth I could add more to the mix!

 

A couple of good things.... I told my mom, and initially she cried and told me I was irresponsible and couldn't handle or afford another baby (like, she was talking retirement! Lol!  That's thinking really far ahead!).  Then I called her back later and she was better.  Over the initial shock and she said she knew it was a boy and she was thinking of names. lol!  So that went a little better than I thought.  I'm not telling anyone else til at least Christmas, including the older kids.

 

 

Inkedstar, that's awesome that you're a pc.  Do you love it!?  I do.  It really is great with my schedule and I feel so wonderful making a difference (I hope) in the health and lives of the families in my community. :)

 

Thanks again, everyone!



I am so glad you're feeling a bit better and hope the test results are good!

 

Yes, I love being a PC, I've been one for 5 yrs now and find this job so challenging and rewarding. I work 20 hrs a week, mostly from home (so I can be w/my kiddos).

That's great!  I only do about 2 hours per week because we live in a sparsely populated rural area.  But that's enough for me. :)  I go to the office to make my calls and stuff because my kids can't be quiet enough to do it from home. lol!

 

My hcg level was 117, which is a lot higher than I expected.  Stay tuned for tomorrow's.....

 


Shannon, AP mom to:
dd1, 8
ds1, 6
dd2, 3

ds2, 1

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Old 12-01-2010, 12:04 PM
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Just wanted to chime in that I have a 3 yo dd that sounds very much like yours.  I was nervous with my next pregnancy (my ds who just turned 1- she was 2.5 when he was born) about how she would "be/exist" and she has been amazing.  She has become quite the doting little mom herself and has sort of naturally evolved into not being "THE" baby anymore.  She's still a tattle-tale, a constant tornado, etc but she has become more independent and even helpful, so there's hope :)

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Old 12-01-2010, 12:11 PM
 
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I will probably get nailed for this but Im going to say it because its true.  The fact is, if you or your hubby don't feel like you should have this baby.  then dont.  Its a decision not an automatic assumption that you have to. Or there is always the adoption route as well. 

 

My friends had their 3rd several years ago and most likely they should not. They were not thrilled but went thru with it.  They are almost divorced now.  Not saying it was from having her but rather, was the straw.  Im NOT saying this is your situation - its not.  All Im saying is, is that you need to make the decision based on the best for your family and for yourself.

 

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Old 12-01-2010, 12:28 PM
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Since the op gave no indication that not going through with the pregnancy was even an option she was considering, I do think your comment is inappropriate here, especially after she came back to update that she's moving forward in a positive direction.  All of us experience panic, fear, and apprehension at the immense responsibility we're facing when two lines come up (even if we are TTC), I think you've jumped the gun here.

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Old 12-01-2010, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, we already have made the decision based on what's best for our family. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rani View Post

I will probably get nailed for this but Im going to say it because its true.  The fact is, if you or your hubby don't feel like you should have this baby.  then dont.  Its a decision not an automatic assumption that you have to. Or there is always the adoption route as well. 

 

My friends had their 3rd several years ago and most likely they should not. They were not thrilled but went thru with it.  They are almost divorced now.  Not saying it was from having her but rather, was the straw.  Im NOT saying this is your situation - its not.  All Im saying is, is that you need to make the decision based on the best for your family and for yourself.

 




Shannon, AP mom to:
dd1, 8
ds1, 6
dd2, 3

ds2, 1

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