My Father-In-Law - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-22-2009, 02:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We lost him last night/this morning. Not really sure what to say, just need to tell someone. We were not really close but got along well. He was my husbands best friend though. Dh is heartbroken. My kids too. We live next door to them and they are going to miss him so much. MIL is in shock. This was really totally unexpected.

We had no indication of any health issues but he started feeling badly in the afternoon and decided to come home early from their flea market. When MIL came home she wanted to take him to the ER but he said no. He was very afraid of hospitals and would only go if absolutely necessary. I saw him around 6 and he looked fine, though later she said he had thrown up a couple of times and she thought he might have the flu.

10:45 - I was asleep with the baby when my phone rang. Dh answered it, threw on his pants, and went running over there. I was watching out the window when the fire truck pulled up. an ambulance showed up a little while later. Dh says he was in the bathroom and wasn't breathing. He did cpr and got him breathing again. When the paramedics arrived they were doing chest compressions and dh was helping.

They sent flight for life. We are 20 minutes from the hospital. They took him and dh got his mom to their truck while I got the kids dressed. We took the van. We got there and I am not sure what I expected but it wasn't this. I wanted my kids to be able to say goodbye but he was already gone. Dh's brother and his wife were already there. They took us to a family room, waited until another brother arrived. We were there until about 4 this morning. They have 4 other children out of state who had to be called.

They think he had a heart attack.

I don't know how to help my 2 year old understand. She is very vocal and has expressed several times that grandpa is at the doctors. Dh told her that he is asleep and won't be waking up. I'm not sure how she is processing that.

My nephews went to open his flea market this morning because they decided he would have wanted that.

I am so sad for my husband.
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Old 02-22-2009, 09:18 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your entire family. My thoughts are w/you.

momma to my girls (9) (7) (4) (3) (7m) &
my little ones held only in my heart 4/12-17/00~8/01-twins~11/04~3/05~11/08
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Old 02-23-2009, 05:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks.

I think my two year old is angry right now. Yesterday she kept saying she was going to smack the helicopters down because the doctors didn't help grandpa. : (
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Old 02-24-2009, 09:37 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.

Sahm mom to three lovely girls, and happily married to a great, sweet guy
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Old 02-27-2009, 06:36 AM
 
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I am sorry for your family's loss.

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Old 03-07-2009, 07:32 PM
 
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Old 03-08-2009, 03:05 AM
 
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I'm so sorry

The one thing I wanted to point out is when you said this:
Quote:
Dh told her that he is asleep and won't be waking up. I'm not sure how she is processing that.
Someone told my oldest son that great-grandpa went to sleep and won't wake up....and he was so afraid to go to sleep for the longest time. So just be careful.
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Old 03-08-2009, 03:12 AM
 
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I am so sorry!

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Old 03-08-2009, 08:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by babygrant View Post
I'm so sorry

The one thing I wanted to point out is when you said this: Someone told my oldest son that great-grandpa went to sleep and won't wake up....and he was so afraid to go to sleep for the longest time. So just be careful.

I was going to say something similar. A gentle truth is in my experience the best course. She will be upset, angry, sad, cry no matter what she is told cause he won't be there. With the truth there is nothing to come back to haunt her.

I am so sorry. It sounds like a very difficult experience. Sending a prayer of peace your way.

MB, mama to three, soulmate to one, pioneering cloth to many since 2002!
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Old 03-08-2009, 08:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the suggestions. I mentioned it to dh and he says he knows he shouldn't have said it that way and remembers being angry about his aunt telling him that when his grandmother died. She seems to be okay with it, though my 4 yo dd asked about it and has asked a few times if we are going to die.

DH brought home fil's recliner because mil didn't want to look at it and my 2yo dd has been sleeping in it.
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Old 03-08-2009, 08:58 PM
 
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i am so sorry for your loss. I wish your family some peace and healing.

Jenese Mama to Elliot 8/05 and Millie Jane 7/07 and Cecilia Kate 1/11
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