Remembering Our Loved Ones~A Memorial - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 153 Old 01-26-2004, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is a Memorial Thread to remember our loved ones who are no longer with us here, but touched our lives with their presence and love and are with us in spirit. This is a place to remember our loved ones on their birthdays, special holidays and on anniversery dates or even just because they are heavy on our hearts today. This is a memorial post honoring our loved ones, but not a discussion or support thread. If you would like to post more about issues surrounding your grief and loss, we would encourage you to post a new thread below so we can support you further.

Please come and light a candle in honor of your loved one and celebrate their lives with us.

Warmly~

Lisa:bf

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#2 of 153 Old 01-26-2004, 04:17 PM
 
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Well, I guess I will be the first since the 2nd anniversary of my mother's death, January 5.
On that awful day, she was murdered along with two other people, while they were sleeping. My family and I consider ourselves rather lucky, because the man who did this sits in jail for life, with no parole possibility. SO we do not have to deal with any more hearings, etc....
Unfortunately, that does not change the fact that she died brutally at only 46 years old. That my 6 year old will barely remember her and my 2 year old will have no memories. My children, especially the oldest, remember the day when I was told, my reaction, everything. They now know, first hand, how cruel and violent the world can be. That is probably one of the hardest things, trying to raise them believing that life really is beautiful when something so terrrible has happened. Another great reason to AP, I am so glad I am, I need them close as much as they need me. We cherish every single second together, no matter how "miniscule" because I know those are the things they will remember. These are the things I remember about my mom, like baking oatmeal cookies, an ordinary day. I will write more about her as the moment directs. I am glad you started this forum, thank you.
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#3 of 153 Old 01-31-2004, 04:39 AM
 
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My children set up a memorial to their Poppy, my DH, when he died.

There are pictures, and personal effects and his medals.

There is one in the living room and one in their room.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#4 of 153 Old 03-20-2004, 10:16 PM
 
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March 16th would have been my brother's 23rd birthday. This was the first year I didn't do anything special. I just couldn't think of anything to do and didn't feel like going anywhere. I just prayed that he would show up in my dreams and he did.
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#5 of 153 Old 04-27-2004, 11:56 AM
 
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Soon it will be time to take my mother to my dad's and my sister's graves, Just as my parents did for my grandmothers, to go and plant a flower, place a flag, have a thoughtful, silent moment of communion and remembrance.

My sister is buried on the shore of a lake. Her gravestone is white marble, carved into the very old fashioned arched shape, with the image of a weeping willow, a traditional mourning motif, carved into it along with the phrase, "She was truly loved".

It's true, she was truly loved. She was everything I am not: organized, a good student, studious and serious about education. I was a senior in High School when she died.

She most feared, before she died that I would end up marrying young, having babies and living in the boonies. She wanted me to aspire to an education and a career. I managed to manifest everything she feared...but the context is different. I married young, yes, but to a lovely and loving man, who honors mes still over 26 years later. I did have babies...3 of them, and while I chose to be a SAHM, I also did so very consciously weighing the values and the options and deciding what my goals as a mother were. So in a way...there is irony to her fears...as they turned out to be a fulfilling path for me.

Like her, I returned to the old ways. She became a museum interpreter, learned to spin and weave, used herb teas, did plant dying, and practiced those sorts of old home arts. But all these were mere motifs in her life, decorating it, while I took another path: to integrate old ways into my everyday living...using herbs and making my own preparations for healthful living, having homebirths, making do with subsistance living to keep our family footprint on the land, lighter; growing my own food some, using wild plants to supplement diet when we were very poor, and so on. She did pave a way for me...and my path is a simply variation taking what she learned some steps further...the older ways for me, were not studied toward a degree or diploma, but they illuminated a way of life. She showed the way though. I am grateful.

My dad died when I was living out west for a while. That was hard, but I made it through it.

Over the years since he died, I learned many things about him. Some very dark and unpleasant, and in fact, he had touched me inappropriately once and only once, because I avoided any opportunity to be with him alone, till I left home. I forgive him, but still don't understand it. It's been implied over the years that he attempted some inappropriate act with my sister also, but I never did hear more about that, and I will never really know. It's as if with both of us he had momentary loss of sanity and did weird stuff...once, and either by our own actions to counter any further contact with him alone, or by chance or whatever...it never happened again.

But the good stuff...all the laughter, the singing, the appreciation of nature, the love of animals, the values of honesty and kindness...he really did teach my sister and I so much that was good. He also loved to grow a garden of flowers and vegetables. I value that too. He gave us good basics as a parent.

He served our country in the South Pacific in WW2, and was deeply and invisibly wounded and damaged. He could never talk about it...except to share about the funny stuff, about his buddies, about the travels, and wonders of that part of the world. There was also an allusion to some prisoner guard duty he pulled and hints of bad things he had to do to the prisoners. He never could get that off his chest, to lighten his heart. In the end he had a massive heart attack. Ironic that his heart just couldn't carry the burdens anymore.

But over the years, I have passed through many emotions at him...and have come to forgive the stuff about me, and my sister and the things about my mother also... bad things he did to her on all levels.

I can't confront my dad for all the offenses, but he, like my sister, has come to me in dreams...and I realize that where they both are, the negativity of the past is already gone...and it is healed if I let it be. They have let it be. They have both shown me that clearly.

So I value all the good that they brought to my life and while I acknowledge the bad, I choose to glean the lessons from the bad and let the rest be chaff in the wind. The good enriches me even now and I share all that with my children...and they hear it all, the bad and the good, because there is value in both when put in perspective. But it takes lots of time to get there.

Sorry to have rambled so much.

Joyce in the mts.

CD Labor/Postpartum (MSTM), Doula trainer (BAI), Midwifery Student/Apprentice, CPS Tech
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#6 of 153 Old 04-27-2004, 04:04 PM
 
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I am writing in memory of my sweet daughter, Emma. She died August 23, 2003. Most days I still can't believe she is gone. When I was pregnant with Emma, I knew that this child was very special. I just felt it deep inside of me. When i found out I was having a girl, I was sad because I wanted a boy so badly, but then I realized what an amazing opportunity this was, to give birth to a daughter. Someone who I could understand, someone I could bond with and help her make decisions in her life. I was thrilled. I thought she would be named Grace. But, when she was born, we knew she was Emma. After she died I read a definition for her name, "Embracing Everything." That was my daughter. She loved life, she loved everyday that she lived.

In her 8 months and 8 days on this earth, Emma taught me so many things. She taught me how to be a Mom. She taught me about homebirth, cloth diapers, vaccinations, and a whole other slew of natural things. She helped me to see that just because the doctors say something is right, doesn't mean it is. She gave me new perspective on life.

Emma loved the outdoors. She would put her face into the wind and just smile. I think she liked the wind blowing her hair. She loved the grass and to watch the leaves blow in the trees. She helped me to slow down and really enjoy nature. Emma loved the water. She would stay in the bathtub for as long as I would let her. sometimes I thought I'd given birth to a fish!

Emma loved to nurse. She loved to wake up in the morning and crawl up and play with her Daddy's face. She was happy, so so happy. She loved her cousins, she loved her Daddy and her Mommy. She only cried if she was hungry, tired, or poopy. I could always fix what was wrong with her. She either needed Mommy or the Boob. Her last activity here on this earth was nursing. she nursed for an hour, then I laid her down for her last nap. She never woke up. My sweet princess.

Emma's smile and eyes could light up anyone's heart. People often say she glowed, it's true. You could see the happiness that just radiated from her. Her soul was too good, too perfect for this Earth. She has a much larger purpose than any of us will know.

She is forever my baby, my daughter, my joy.

I miss my baby girl. I will miss her until the day our souls are reunited. Until then, good night my angel, now it's time to sleep...Mommy and Daddy love you more than you will ever know. I love you my sweet baby girl...forever.....

Kim, Mama to 4 and 1 more on the way!
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#7 of 153 Old 04-27-2004, 04:09 PM
 
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I am so touched by everyone's story and so sorry for your losses. Of course I am here because I miss my daughter so much. I was blessed to carry and nurture her for 24 weeks, before she was taken from me. Those are 24 weeks I will never forget, they changed me forever.
Gossamer

Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you. Before you were a minute old, I would have died for you. That is the miracle of life. ~Maureen Hawkins~
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#8 of 153 Old 05-22-2004, 09:44 AM
 
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I have tears in my eyes from reading all these posts...

My Mother-in-law passed away on the 27 December 2003. She was 45. I miss her so much. She was an amazing woman and a good friend and support to me.

She was a chronic asthmatic and she spent many many months in ICU throughout her life. But she never gave up. She was a warrior.

She did so much in her short life and I admire her strength, convictions, passion and dreams.

I miss her so much...
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#9 of 153 Old 05-23-2004, 01:41 AM
 
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It's nearly summer and time to plant the garden. Oh, that's right, there is no garden there anymore. No garden, no uncle taking a small girl through the beans and showing her how to pick them, no aunt to sit with and snap the beans with or watch can them.

She taught me to make spaghetti sauce when I was 14. I always meant to have her do it again so I could write it down this time. I wanted to know how she canned her beans so they tasted so good. I was going to take time to do that when the kids got old enough, when we had enough money for me to quit my job, when, when, when....

But time ran out. He got cancer, she had heart surgery. She died. He wasted away from cancer and grief. Childless, but they left us all so lonely.

I wish she were here to fish with my oldest son. I wish he were here to show my youngest son how to drive his boat. I wish they could see what wonderful human beings my children are turning out to be.

My candle tonight is for Martha and Dennis Warren. How I miss you.
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#10 of 153 Old 06-10-2004, 09:42 PM
 
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Well, today is the day he died. My sisters are here from out of state and have not mentioned him at all. I guess that's OK with me. But sometimes I have this fear that everyone else is forgetting him, that their lives are all going on and only mine is affected by the loss.

I was so afraid the baby would be born on this date. I wanted her birthday to be only a day of joy, so I'm glad it all worked out that way.

I keep thinking about what I was doing as he died. I got the police report for the time of death and it was sometime in the afternoon. At that moment 3 years ago I was listening to a voice recital, I think. I didn't have any weird feelings or anything like that. I often wonder if he felt different when he left the house that day. His friends say that on the day before he died, he said that since he had "a new job, a new girlfriend, the best friends anyone could ever have, and new socks" that if he died tomorrow, he'd die happy. So I'm glad he at least got to die happy, but I don't believe he saw it coming.

I don't plan on doing anything special today; maybe next year it will work out to visit the place where he died again. I just wanted to stay home with the baby today.
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#11 of 153 Old 06-29-2004, 03:59 AM
 
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For my Son Carson Jerome.


Carson died of SIDS in my arms while we were sleeping on feburary 15th 1998. He was 55 days old.


We love you sweet Baby Boy. I wish so badly that you could meet your brother Chase, he adores you, he talks about you & to you every day. Whenever he has a balloon he lets it go for you.


He tells anyone who will listen all about you & your life.


I can not wait to be with you again. I love you.
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#12 of 153 Old 06-29-2004, 03:25 PM
 
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It won't let me into the site...
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#13 of 153 Old 07-01-2004, 02:47 PM
 
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#14 of 153 Old 08-02-2004, 11:09 PM
 
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My Aunt Vicki's birthday is today. She would have been 54. We were like sisters and she died Oct. 29 after fighting pancreatic cancer for 2 1/2 years.

I still can't believe she's gone. She was my best friend, my confidant. I miss her terribly and have dreaded the approach of today.

Happy birthday, Vicki. I'll talk to you in my prayers and memories.

Love,
Your favorite niece Shannon
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#15 of 153 Old 12-15-2004, 06:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Within the past two months, I have lost two very important women in my life. In October, my dear, sweet, loving Mom and then today, I just lost my Grandmother.

I am here to light a candle in honor of their lives and the love they gave to me and my family. They were amazing women, mothers and grandmothers.

In their honor and memory~

Lisa

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#16 of 153 Old 12-27-2004, 06:51 AM
 
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My dearest Tamika Winston died in april 2004. She was 36 weeks pregnant Baby Mariah died as well. Eclampsia snatched her life away in the night. Mika was just 28 years old. The awesome mother of two little boys. She was and will always be the best friend I have ever had. Her goodness was so unique and her spirit so pure...
She is woven into all that I am and her voice resounds within me. I adored her.
I will mourn her until I meet her again.John 5:25 “Most truly I say to YOU, The hour is coming, and it is now, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who have given heed will live. -- 28 Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice 29 and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life
please vist
www.rememberingtamika.com
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#17 of 153 Old 12-27-2004, 07:50 AM
 
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Be at peace Ossian Gilbert.. Irish troubadour, charmer, story teller, friend.
Died of lung cancer 11/04.. way too young.. 52 years old.
We will remember you every time we hoist a Guinness, sit with good friends at a pub, or tear up at a great ballad.

Be at peace FIL who I never met. Died when ds was a young man.
I hear you were a great person, an honorable, fine southern gentleman.
Your son inherited your idealism. You have two beautiful grandsons.
I wish I had known you.
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#18 of 153 Old 12-27-2004, 12:28 PM
 
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My beloved father passed away at the age of 54, in Aug of 99. We miss him terribly, especially my 14 yr old. My dad was very close to all my kids, but with my middle boy, things were different. He called A his best friend, his soul mate (my son was 9 when he died).

In the past 5 years, i have lost not only my dad, but my best friend (34 yrs old), and all 4 of my grandparents, two of them since this October.

So i will light candles for them.

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#19 of 153 Old 12-27-2004, 07:38 PM
 
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Just over two years ago we lost our one and only child our son due to E. Coli (at two years of age) it is assumed that he contracted it in a daycare facilty, poor handwashing etc.

His Spirit is with me, standing beside me right now, watching every breath I take. He knows I miss him, he knows I love him and he also knows that we will be together someday.

I also know there is a little bit of him inside my wife right now taking care of the new one on the way, and that he says it is ok for us to love another child the way we loved him so dearly.

Rest in peace son, I'll show you how to throw a football in time.


Gerritt.
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#20 of 153 Old 01-10-2005, 02:59 AM
 
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My 20 year old cousin, Andre, drown yesterday in a river. I hope that he is some place better, and that his family makes it through this difficult time.
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#21 of 153 Old 02-01-2005, 12:51 AM
 
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Lighting a for my maternal grandmother, who passed away a week ago tomorrow. She always had time when she visited to go for long walks, play games, & do puzzles. She was never too busy to spend time with us, & she was the same way with Joe. I am so glad he got to know her & I will do my best to keep her memory alive for him. I miss you Gram!

I will also light for my paternal grandmother as well as my Uncle Dick, who both passed away in the last two years. I did not know them but I would like to honor their memory.

Here is a for Hobart David, the baby my Gram lost shortly after his birth in the 40's or 50's. I can picture her now, holding him & singing to him.

Thank you all for sharing your stories.
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#22 of 153 Old 02-01-2005, 01:28 PM
 
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For my Son Carson Jerome Stephens & My Papa Jerome John Hellman.

I love you both so much, thank you for gracing my life.
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#23 of 153 Old 02-15-2005, 03:13 PM
 
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This is for my father Raymond Harvey Woodcock jr. And my mil Zelda jo Sidon.
My father was taken way too early for his time. He was 41 years old. It has been 5 years this month and I still dream about him nightly. He survived hodgkins disease when he was 28, But it did too much damage to his heart. I love him with everything I am. He tought me everything i know. He was with nature. We spread his ashes in our woods. He loved being there. Our family friends made a HUGE wind chime. like 14ft long and hung it from the highest tree. It sounds so wonderful. I MISS my daddy!!!!!!! I wish my girls could of met him. He ws amazing!!!!!

Zelda was my mil. I never got to meet her. I wish I had. She died of ovarian cancer when dh was 18. Everything II have heard about her is great. She was a loving mom, and would have been A wonderful grandma!!!! She is missed evryday.

I LOVE YOU DADDY AND ZELDA!!!!

Megan

M,partner to D,mama to Sofia (6/01), Madeline(11/04), and Quin(2/08)  Hoping for a tubal reversal baby SOON after the proceduremakebabe.gif

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#24 of 153 Old 02-25-2005, 06:11 AM
 
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for my mother, Barbara Mae Landis. It's been 21 days. She died of multiple myeloma - one year after being diagnosed. She was 60 years old. Too young. I still need her.

I love you, mom.
Thank you for birthing me.
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#25 of 153 Old 03-02-2005, 09:43 PM
 
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Thank you so much for starting this much-needed thread...

This is for my Mama who took her own life at 56 and died on New Year's Eve, 2001. Sadly, she was still alive when she realized it was too late and that she had made a terrible mistake.. I was able to go and see her, though. Straight from the log cabin high in the snowy CO mountains where we had just celebrated Christmas, we raced to catch a plane and then to the hospital where she was being kept alive artificially. I held her hand and felt my inner child's need for her to stay, saw tears fall from her unmoving eyes. She could still feel, but not respond. I will always feel the guilt of 'what if...' (I had gone to her sooner.) I knew she was sad, but did not know she was as sad as she was.

'If only...'

We had planned on going to her and possibly moving her out to live with us, or at least in our town, but did not get there soon enough.. We were going to see her right after the holidays.

God I miss you Mommy!

And the most painful part of all was that my children were robbed of their grandmother, their Mima. And I, at almost 31, felt orphaned. It's been over three years and it's still so hard.

Still so hard...

Some days, I feel the shock, others I realize just how long forever lasts.


Mama, you're a precious angel in Heaven, now. I will see you in the clouds, and visit you in my dreams. This month, March 16, you would have turned 60.


Happy Birthday, Angel.



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#26 of 153 Old 03-16-2005, 07:09 PM
 
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Harley would be 24 today. I am going to buy some flowers and distribute them at some roadside memorials in town. There was one where an old lady was killed by a drunk driver while crossing the street, another where a hit-and-run driver killed a bicyclist, and another where a homeless man was stabbed under a bridge.

My younger sister's birthday was three days ago. She turned 22, but for the months before I was convinced it was she who would be 24. I wonder if it's hard for her when it's her birthday and everyone in her family is just all sad.
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#27 of 153 Old 03-16-2005, 07:33 PM
 
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Happy Birthday Momma!


Today is your 60th. Angels have the best birthdays of all because they can fly!










I'm ing you and : for you every day!
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#28 of 153 Old 03-16-2005, 10:53 PM
 
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Thank you everyone for sharing.
I am here to honor my daughter, Grace Olivia.
She was born March 26, 2004. She died the same day.

I love you Gracie. Mama is always with you. I miss kissing you, holding you, smelling you. Please know that you are so missed.
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#29 of 153 Old 03-22-2005, 11:22 PM
 
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This is for two very special people who are no longer here:

My grandma who taught me that women can be strong and to never underestimate the power of a mother's love. She died on May 14th 2002 of liver cancer. She was determined to live until mothers day and she did. The whole family came over and we had the biggest party! She was a wonderful woman who I miss daily, but I see her in my daughter.

My grandpa died ten years ago March 24, 1995. We are going to celebrate his life on Thursday with a memorial dinner. He was such a loving man and I wish he was here to meet my DD, he would have loved her. He was such a strong man and I loved him so much. It broke my heart when he died. During my younger years I was raised by my parents and my grandparents. I was blessed to have a family that took care of eachother whenever needed.

I read some of the other posts and cried right along with you. This thread has really helped me realize how important our families are to us and to our children.
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#30 of 153 Old 03-23-2005, 12:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lighting a candle today in honor of my dear Mother's Birthday. She would have been 69 years old today and she past away this October 8, 2004. I think of her every hour of the day and the pain and loss in my heart is always there. Some days its still so hard to believe that she is truly gone. The bond between Mother and Child is so strong.

We will honor her memory today by having a large family dinner at one of her favorite restaurants. I wish she was just here to celebrate with us.

I love you Mom~

Lisa

Lisa, Todd, Dane and Amber: & :::
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