My friend died suddenly - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 01-30-2004, 12:05 AM - Thread Starter
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She had a seziure last night in the shower, is the current explaination. Her fiance found her.

I just talked to her yesterday. She was only 20 years old. We weren't super close - she was a casual friend, a work friend. She was excited about getting married. They had just gotten an apartment together and were supposed to move in next week. She was very sweet, kind of shy. I just can't believe she's dead, all of a sudden. I had to go in to work for an hour this afternoon to help try to sort out how we're going to keep the store open until the owner comes back from Vietnam (long story) and there were all these orders to be filled on the desk, with her handwriting all over them. Her lack of presence was palpable, if YKWIM. I'm really going to miss her. And it's so sad, because she was right on the brink of doing so many things that she really wanted to do, and now she'll never get to do them.

This is the second time I've gotten news of someone's unexpected death recently. In early Dec. DH's aunt and uncle were killed in a car accident while on vacation in Tennessee. I really don't want to get any more news of this nature for a very long time.
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#2 of 7 Old 01-30-2004, 12:35 AM
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I'm sorry for your losses.

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#3 of 7 Old 01-30-2004, 12:46 AM
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I'm so sorry! What a terribly sad, scary thing.

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#4 of 7 Old 01-30-2004, 12:05 PM
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I am so deeply sorry to hear about your friend. Loss is always so hard, but when it is a sudden one, so many questions can remain. My heart goes out to you and your friends family right now. We are here for you, please feel free to come and talk about your friend and your feelings.



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#5 of 7 Old 01-31-2004, 07:03 PM
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sometimes these losses are even harder in some ways.... I mean when it is family or a best friend everyone knows why we feel a loss but when it is work or casual friend it can be surprising for us... in a weird way. I get what you mean about a palpable loss..

I had a neighbor who was sick. We really didn't talk that much but he lived right under me.
We knew he was sick but we didn't know how sick.
Then one day his family came and took all his stuff out of his apartment. Just like that. they were gone in about 4 hours and no one knew. it was so sudden. And they left his cat.

I want you to know that the entire building rallied for the cat and we were all in tears about his death.
the family was from another country and they were ashamed because he died of aids.

I still think about him and yes we got the cat a home with one of the other tenants.

anyway, didn't mean to ramble... but hugs. A loss is a loss.

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#6 of 7 Old 02-01-2004, 01:54 AM - Thread Starter
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Thanks, everyone. It's true what Trabot said, I am surprised by how sad I am about her dying. That sounds horrible to say, but it's the degree of sadness I am surprised about, not that I am sad. I find myself really wishing that she were alive right now. I feel like it's really not right that she is dead, and it was all a big, cosmic mistake, but it's too late to fix it. I know I'm not explaining it very well.

Anyway, the wake is tomorrow - I hate wakes, but there's no way I can go to the funeral because it's on Monday and I have nobody to watch Cole while I'm there. So, I guess I should go to the wake. I am the only one from the bookstore (besides the owner and his wife, who are out of town) who even knew her, so I kind of have to go, now that I think about it.

Sorry to ramble on. I just keep thinking about her, though. I know what I am feeling is nothing compared to what her parents and fiance are feeling. I am just having a hard time getting my head around it. No reply necessary - thanks for reading this far.
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#7 of 7 Old 02-01-2004, 12:44 PM
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I am so sorry to hear about all of the death and sadness you have experienced lately. My thoughts are with you.

Please feel free to share your stories with all of of. We are here for you.
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