sudden unexplained death in children.... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 09:29 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am looking for answers. We all are. I've been avoiding telling what I saw, what's happened, but now I want to know if anyone out there can help us find out what happened to Andrew. There CANNOT be NO reason! That is just insane!

Andrew, 2yo, died July 23 unexpectedly, suddenly. He woke up fine in the morning. Was dancing to Bob Marley with my 3yo, and then he looked tired. He hadn't gotten to bed till late, so I asked if he wanted to lay back down...he did.

I heard him crying in his sleep twice - now that I look back, it may have been crying with slight moaning - but this was not abnormal for him to cry in his sleep. I babysat Andrew almost all his life. I was watching him for a few days while his parents went out of town. So I knew what was 'normal' for him.

The second time I checked in on him, having heard him crying, he was sweaty, so I took off the blanket, turned on the fan, asked him if he wanted to get up and have breakfast. He shook his head no and turned the other way. I took it that he just wanted to sleep. He looked really tired.

this is really hard...

My DH came home early - he doesn't usually - but he wanted to work on my car. But before he did that, he wanted to go out and run an errand with all of us, so I went in to wake up Andrew. It had been 10 minutes since I last checked in on him. He was laying in the total opposite direction now, but still heavily asleep. I rolled him over. Still breathing. I've changed his diaper before while he still slept - he's a very heavy sleeper - so I did while talking to him, signing 'wake up! wake up!' thinking he would. He sounded a bit raspy, but wasn't stirring. His eyes were slightly opened. I changed his pants and went to take off his shirt. This is when I realized that he was not 'normal'...

his little body flopped out of the shirt. I tried sitting him up. "Andrew! Wake up!" he wasn't. I rubbed his arms and legs, thinking he was in a heavy sleep, but he would not wake up! My kids were in the room, giggling, since he seemed to be a doll, lifeless. I ran to get my DH, the phone, and carried Andrew into the living room and laid him on the couch. DH held open his eyes, talking to him while I called 911. Andrew looked right at him, shook his head from side to side, but could not, would not move his arms and legs.

The paramedics came, took him, I rode with him in the ambulance. They later told me his heart stopped on the way to the hospital. They couldn't even use the paddles as he didn't have any electrical charge in his heart. They continued for 72 minutes to bring him back. But...he died.

As I mentioned, I babysat Andrew much of his life. He was a markedly different boy from when he was 1 and when he was 2. His parents chalked it up to "terrible two's", but I feel that there might have been something else there. He cried constantly, sometimes inconsolably. He hit his head repeatedly all day long when he threw a temper tantrum. Once I put a helmet on him for a few minutes - he didn't like it - but I told him I was scared that he was going to really hurt himself. He was an extremely heavy sleeper, sometimes taking 2 naps a day, the afternoon one 4-5 hours.

He was loving, kind, a very good little friend to my 5yo and 3yo...I was looking forward to him growing out of his "terrible two's" as I watch him all week and after crying all day, slamming his head all day, I was ready for that 4-5 hour nap. I would CONSTANTLY check in on him. It was just so different than my own kids. I mentioned numerous times to his parents that I was concerned. They just thought I was overly motherly and thought it cute...now I wish I had said more...

I used to carry him around in my slings. Lay down with him and my DD when it was nap time when she used to nap...he was like a third child during the week...and I've watched him overnight before and he was totally fine. Just feel into his usual routine at my house.

But then this past year he's been a different kid. And now he's gone. He did have a vax early in the year that he cried horribly the day after, feverish, but his dad told me to just give him tylenol and have him nap...of course, me being anti-vax, I'm looking at this moment as a maybe for what could have caused him to die. But I'm no doc. I haven't a clue how to start to understand. Or even how to mention this to his parents. They are close friends of ours and have kept us in their lives and are looking for answers too...
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#2 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 09:41 AM
 
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No thoughts, just . How awful for everyone.

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#3 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 10:12 AM
 
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#4 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 10:49 AM
 
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oh, how horrible my first thought was vaccine, too... but I really don't know.

A friend of mine lost her 29 year old husband to a slow brain bleed he didn't know he had. The coroner said he must have hit his head a week before or so and that the bleed just slowly put more and more pressure on his brain stem and she woke up early one morning to him convulsing and she did cpr and called 911 but they couldn't revive him. Just heartbreaking. I wonder if all the head hitting could have caused something like that?



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#5 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 11:08 AM
 
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How horrible and sad. Was there no autopsy? An undiagnosed heart condition? I am so sorry for your loss.

Andrew
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#6 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 11:17 AM
 
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Surely there was an autopsy. As far as I know all unexplained deaths warrant an autopsy. I really hope for you that there will be some answers there. Like you said, there has to be some reason. Hopefully it can be detected, a tumor, a weakness of some kind, something. I am incredibly sad for you and his family.

Julie, wife and mother. I love my little ones: DS ::Corbin Randall---6/06 and DD :Morgan Reese 12/08.
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#7 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 12:48 PM
 
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I am so sorry this happened to all of you, how horrible... (((hugs))) for all involved

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#8 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 01:07 PM
 
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I'm so sorry

I'm also thinking an undiagnosed heart condition. My son has Ventricular tachycardia and it can cause sudden death in people who have it. It's where the bottom half of his heart beats more powerfully than than the top half causing an irregular heartbeat. We never knew about it until he broke his arm and they heard it in the ER. We spent the night in ICU because of it. Now that we know he has it, a lot makes sense...he used to say he was tired after running with the other kids and sit down. He used to say he saw stars and felt dizzy. I believe it started when he was about 5 and he had it for 4 years before we knew.

I'm so sorry about Andrew. I hope they do find some answers so that you all can have some peace.

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#9 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 03:21 PM
 
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Andrew

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#10 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 03:22 PM
 
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had he been swimming recently?

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#11 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 08:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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no swimming. I hadn't seen him in since early June but I'm sure he hadn't gone in a while. are you thinking amoeba?
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#12 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 09:00 PM
 
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I'm so, so sorry. I saw your signature in another thread yesterday (can't recall what) and looked at your blog...I've been thinking about it ever since.
I really hope you get answers - not that answers will take away this horror, but at least gtive you some sort of peace.


DS 12/22/05 and DD 5/24/09
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#13 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 09:00 PM
 
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poor little boy, I am so sad for you all

Katherine, SAHM to 2 little princes
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#14 of 51 Old 08-18-2009, 09:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyHawk View Post
no swimming. I hadn't seen him in since early June but I'm sure he hadn't gone in a while. are you thinking amoeba?
I think the pp may have been thinking of dry drowning.

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#15 of 51 Old 08-19-2009, 07:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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dry drowning? I'll have to look that one up...
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#16 of 51 Old 08-19-2009, 11:40 AM
 
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Yes, when kids get water in their lungs it wipes out the surfactant and they can die hours later.

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#17 of 51 Old 08-19-2009, 02:02 PM
 
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.

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#18 of 51 Old 08-19-2009, 02:16 PM
 
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andrew.

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#19 of 51 Old 08-19-2009, 04:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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there has been an autopsy - no sign of trauma, abuse, aneurysm, or hole in the heart...there are other test still pending...I'm hoping for an answer...gotta put it out there to the Universe that we need one...keep saying that they won't find anything will not help...keeping the faith...:
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#20 of 51 Old 08-19-2009, 05:04 PM
 
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this is just so sad, i am so sorry.

Mama of 4 all born at home : Mothering
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#21 of 51 Old 08-19-2009, 07:20 PM
 
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So very sad, poor little guy. I'm so sorry for the family and for your family.

Book lovin librarian nerd mama to Caleb 6/06 and Aiden 4/09: and 1 angel 11/07. "No one cries alone in my presence."
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#22 of 51 Old 08-20-2009, 05:02 AM
 
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I hope you guys can get an answer. How heartbreaking.
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#23 of 51 Old 08-20-2009, 04:52 PM
 
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I cannot imagine. Poor little Andrew for him, for you, your family and his too.

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#24 of 51 Old 08-20-2009, 11:03 PM
 
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This is so incredibly sad. I hope something comes to light.
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#25 of 51 Old 08-26-2009, 03:24 PM
 
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I am so very sorry for this tragedy. (Tears)

My heart goes out to you and Andrew's family....I hope you find out some answers...
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#26 of 51 Old 08-26-2009, 03:31 PM
 
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I am very sorry.
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#27 of 51 Old 08-26-2009, 06:58 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry you are having to go through this. I'm so very sorry for Andrew's family.

A similar loss happened to my aunt and uncle's neighbors. The little boy was just shy of 2 yo. The cause of death ended up being from complications resulting from being born without a gallbladder and he passed in his sleep while taking a nap one afternoon at daycare. The care provider had checked back in 15 min after she put him down and he was already gone. They had no idea there was a problem before that. Just a few instances that made you think "hmmmm...." I wonder if there is more to that (such as mild developmental delays). But, really nothing that made his parents run to the doctor panic stricken. Sad, so very, very sad. I still have trouble looking at their house when I visit my aunt and uncle. I'm still so sad for them and its been over 3 years ago.
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#28 of 51 Old 08-26-2009, 09:07 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace.
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#29 of 51 Old 08-26-2009, 09:17 PM
 
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thats so sad r.i.p little man


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#30 of 51 Old 08-27-2009, 01:31 AM
 
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How heartbreaking. I am so sorry for you and the little boys family. I can't imagine losing a child I was close to. I hope that the autopsy brings some kind of answers and peace to your heart.
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