My Heart Is Breaking - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 44 Old 09-07-2009, 04:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My father is in hospice care. We know that we will be making a trip to Texas very soon for his funeral. He is 86 and has had a very long and healthy life, and he's done exactly what's he wanted with his life, so I believe I have come to accept this.

But my sister - the one who was my mother, my protector, my playmate, my teacher, and the only person who loved me unconditionally the first 32 years of my life - just found out she has melanoma stage IV. She has months, maybe weeks to live.

She did all the right things - six trips to two doctors since she discovered the mole on her foot in January, five times she was told it was just a mole and don't worry, it's fine. The sixth time they finally did a biopsy and now it's too late.

When I was little, she is the one who kept us safe when my parents brought out the guns and started pointing them during their raging fights. She's the one who carried my seriously injured kitty begging for help, pleading and not stopping until my kitty was helped. She was our Easter Bunny and our Santa Claus, agreeing with my parents that she would not receive any gifts because she was the oldest, and the gifts should go to the younger kids. She changed our diapers and made our birthday cakes. She comforted us when we were hurt. She pulled one of my siblings out of drug addiction.

She is our family counselor, she's the one we call when we have a problem. She's talked to me for hours at at time when I'm trying to deal with the past abuse from our mother, or even when I just can't find something I misplaced; she's always been there to help and make everything better.

Her life has been a very difficult one; she has dealt with chronic pain her entire adult life, yet she has never complained and always, always has had time for anyone who needs some kind words or some wisdom.

When she told me the diagnosis, the next words out of her mouth were, "I'm worried about you, if you will be all right."

A big part of me has always belonged to her. I don't know what I will do when she's gone. I can feel my heart breaking.

If you have any spare prayers or vibes, please direct them to my sister Linda in Texas (don't send me any - I am okay - please send them to her). Thanks so much.
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#2 of 44 Old 09-07-2009, 04:50 PM
 
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no words. Sending many good thoughts.

-Angela
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#3 of 44 Old 09-07-2009, 05:36 PM
 
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#4 of 44 Old 09-07-2009, 05:52 PM
 
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Many prayers for your sister.

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#5 of 44 Old 09-07-2009, 06:08 PM
 
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#6 of 44 Old 09-07-2009, 07:20 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.
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#7 of 44 Old 09-07-2009, 11:14 PM
 
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Mommy to DD 5-07
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#8 of 44 Old 09-07-2009, 11:20 PM
 
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I am so sorry. I will pray for your sister Linda and also for you.

-Melanie
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#9 of 44 Old 09-07-2009, 11:35 PM
 
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Oh that is so hard. I'm sorry you're going through this.
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#10 of 44 Old 09-08-2009, 12:04 AM
 
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Your sister sounds like a wonderful, caring person, who is very generous with her love and everything that she is and has to give.

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and 3 , in our happy secular
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#11 of 44 Old 09-08-2009, 01:42 AM
 
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#12 of 44 Old 09-08-2009, 01:52 AM
 
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Praying for your sister. She sounds like an amazing woman that anyone would be proud to call sister.

Please take care of yourself, and keep us posted.
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#13 of 44 Old 09-08-2009, 01:30 PM
 
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My heart is breaking for you as well. I have said a prayer for your sister (and you). Please keep us posted on how you are doing as well as your sister.

She sounds like a remarkable sister. You are very, very fortunate to have her in your life.
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#14 of 44 Old 09-08-2009, 01:40 PM
 
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All I can offer is my heartfelt sympathies and warm wishes to you and your sister. It's so hard to go through the motions of loss, especially for someone who is still living- I've been in that situation myself.

Don't be strong because people tell you to (And they will), just feel what you want to feel- be sad, be angry, be however feels natural


My thoughts are with you

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#15 of 44 Old 09-08-2009, 01:52 PM
 
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for both of you.

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#16 of 44 Old 09-08-2009, 05:53 PM
 
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I will pray for you and your sister.
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#17 of 44 Old 09-09-2009, 02:41 AM
 
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Praying for a miracle. I am so sorry your family is going through this.

Sending lots of support to all of you.
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#18 of 44 Old 09-09-2009, 01:23 PM
 
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your post brought tears to my eyes.



much strength and peace to your family, especially your sister Linda.
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#19 of 44 Old 09-27-2009, 02:37 PM
 
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Your sister loves you so much, and I am sending her my love. What a wonderful human being.
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#20 of 44 Old 09-27-2009, 02:48 PM
 
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No words, many .
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#21 of 44 Old 09-27-2009, 03:17 PM
 
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#22 of 44 Old 09-27-2009, 07:50 PM
 
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I am so sorry. I will pray for your sister, and for you.
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#23 of 44 Old 09-27-2009, 08:33 PM
 
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Your family has been in my thoughts.
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#24 of 44 Old 09-28-2009, 10:18 AM
 
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Your post made me cry, something I almost never do...

for both your sister and you.
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#25 of 44 Old 09-28-2009, 12:03 PM
 
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I am so sorry.
Your sister sounds wonderful.
You and your sister have my good thoughts.
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#26 of 44 Old 09-28-2009, 06:36 PM
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I'm so sorry. It shouldn't have taken o many trips before they finally did a biopsy. That might me medical malpractice.

Tons of hugs for you both.
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#27 of 44 Old 09-29-2009, 04:44 PM
 
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You and your whole family are in my prayers.

Ph.D. Mama to Anaiah born 10/06/07 and Mathias born 11/14/09 and Wife to my cocoa puff DH.
My Cup Runs Over Daily!

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#28 of 44 Old 09-29-2009, 06:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Eyes View Post
My father is in hospice care. We know that we will be making a trip to Texas very soon for his funeral. He is 86 and has had a very long and healthy life, and he's done exactly what's he wanted with his life, so I believe I have come to accept this.

But my sister - the one who was my mother, my protector, my playmate, my teacher, and the only person who loved me unconditionally the first 32 years of my life - just found out she has melanoma stage IV. She has months, maybe weeks to live.

She did all the right things - six trips to two doctors since she discovered the mole on her foot in January, five times she was told it was just a mole and don't worry, it's fine. The sixth time they finally did a biopsy and now it's too late.
....
A big part of me has always belonged to her. I don't know what I will do when she's gone. I can feel my heart breaking.

If you have any spare prayers or vibes, please direct them to my sister Linda in Texas (don't send me any - I am okay - please send them to her). Thanks so much.
I am so horrified to read this.

I am praying for your sister Linda! (and you too!)

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#29 of 44 Old 09-30-2009, 12:51 AM
 
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Praying for a miracle for your sister and your family.

Wife to Thomas, WAH mama to Sofia Rose 8/04, Ellen Marie 10/07, her twin sister Amalie Joy lost 7/07 , and Maya Grace and Hannah Miriam 4/10
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#30 of 44 Old 09-30-2009, 12:54 AM
 
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I can't begin to imagine how difficult this is for you ... your sister is in my prayers, and so are you.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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