Earlier this week we lost our third baby. I feel that I'm not only grieving another baby but I'm grieving my childbearing years. We can't keep going through this, my dh and I 'may' go through the testing for reoccuring losses and see if we can 'fix' the problem. We 'may' try to adopt one day. But honestly I feel this could be it, I need to accept our family is complete and be happy in that.
I'm so hurt right now, really I'm angry. WHY??? Why couldn't we keep at least one of the 3 babies. I understand many women suffer miscarriages and some deliever stillborns, I accepted that as a reality of childbearing. But why can so many women go on and have another baby. Why can so many families decide when they are done, that decision was taken from us.
I know noone has the answer, only God knows and one day we will understand. One day I will be with my sweet babies in Heaven. But right now on Earth, I hurt.
DH 10/01, DS 1/04, DS 1/06, DS 5/09 (born sleeping), DD 4/11