He took her from me. He promised he wouldn't but he did. - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 43 Old 04-21-2010, 02:55 PM
 
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It never hurts to talk to a lawyer and see if theres any legal precedent for allowing/requiring continued contact. Or even just try google... never hurts to look.

And, if theres no way for you to see her, I would definetly write her a nice long letter send it via snail mail, explaining how this seperation was not of your choosing, and that if she ever needs someone to talk to you'll be there for her. Then, give her your parents' phone number/address, or someone else who will *always* be able to get a hold of you, so that no matter what happens to her, or you in the coming years, she'll know how to get ahold of you. Good luck!!
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#32 of 43 Old 04-21-2010, 04:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I talked to a lawyer- there's nothing I can do. My son and I are legal strangers to my stepdaughter. My soon-to-be exhusband is getting harder and harder to get ahold of, and I have not seen my stepdaughter in 21 days, talked to her once, on the phone, since then.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#33 of 43 Old 04-27-2010, 08:57 PM
 
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Im so sorry. this sounds just awful.

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#34 of 43 Old 05-12-2010, 05:40 PM
 
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I remember your posts about her....so very sorry. I hope you get to see her soon. Where ever she is, she loves and misses you too.
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#35 of 43 Old 05-12-2010, 05:52 PM
 
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#36 of 43 Old 05-12-2010, 08:26 PM
 
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I can't even imagine being in your shoes, and I know something about loving a child that's not biologically your own.

I know that 9 is young, but is she connected to email? If you have their address, send her letters, cards, pictures. I'm very sorry you are going through this.

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
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#37 of 43 Old 05-13-2010, 01:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by harleyhalfmoon View Post

My son and I are "legal strangers" to her. There's nothing the courts can do.
I'm so sorry

I don't know about NY, but in my county, 1/2 siblings have the right to see each other. Are you sure that your son is a legal stranger to her.
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#38 of 43 Old 05-13-2010, 05:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Toolip View Post
I'm so sorry

I don't know about NY, but in my county, 1/2 siblings have the right to see each other. Are you sure that your son is a legal stranger to her.
The children aren't half-siblings. Her son is hers, and was her ex's stepson.

OP: I've been reading your posts here for a long time, but I don't think I've ever commented. I'm so, so, so sorry. It's just beyond my understanding that anyone could do this. Family doesn't just disappear because of paperwork. I feel for you and your dsd.


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#39 of 43 Old 05-13-2010, 10:25 PM
 
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Wow, he sounds like a real piece of work. He is hurting his own daughter as well as you and his step son. Basically everyone but himself and his ex. I'm so sorry you are going through this loss.
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#40 of 43 Old 05-26-2010, 11:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
It's just beyond my understanding that anyone could do this. Family doesn't just disappear because of paperwork.
Yeah, I struggle with this every day- how can I NOT be family now?

Little update- We see my stepdaughter about once a month now. My son sees my Ex maybe twice a month. My son's birthday is a week and a half away. My Ex is coming and bringing my stepdaughter. And his new girlfriend. Apparently, my replacement. Apparently because I've got a guy friend now. (Not boyfriend, but really good friend who wants to be my boyfriend.) We will see how this turns out. Please keep me in your thoughts on June 5th- I will need the support- I'm not sure how well I can fake not being bothered when I get to see the replacement parent "my" daughter. :-(

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#41 of 43 Old 06-04-2010, 08:43 PM
 
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Hi HarleyHalfMoon,

Just popping in over here... sending hugs from another "former stepmom."

Much as I didn't want to disappear from DSD's life, her dad doesn't really want me to see her, and her visits are quite sporadic (she lives out of town) so I might see her once or twice a year. Ex-H takes her to see my mom though! Well I guess that's good but a bit odd imo.

Anyway... not much you can do except keep trying for visits. Once a month is pretty good. And good luck with the birthday party! Luckily my "replacement" is a really awesome lady, so I don't have any animosity there.

Finally pregnant with #1 and #2! Due September 9th, 2014 
   
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#42 of 43 Old 06-04-2010, 09:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyway... not much you can do except keep trying for visits. Once a month is pretty good. And good luck with the birthday party! Luckily my "replacement" is a really awesome lady, so I don't have any animosity there.
The birthday party is tomorrow. Good news, though- apparently, my Ex told me his girlfriend was coming to my son's party with them before he invited her. She turned the invitation from him down- he said she said she didn't want to make me feel awkward and not be able to enjoy my son's birthday party or spend time with my stepdaughter! I have to admit, that's very noble of her (or as my sister said, "wow, she's got brains!"). Hopefully, this means my "replacement" won't try to replace me in my stepdaughter's life. If he's got to be with someone else, at least it's someone who, on some level, thinks about other people's feelings and relationships. Keep your fingers crossed for me on that level, ladies. It's the best I can hope for.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#43 of 43 Old 06-05-2010, 01:50 AM
 
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I'm hoping she continues on that vein. So glad you get to see your sd tomorrow!! Hope the party goes well.

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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