Three years without my mother. - Mothering Forums
Grief and Loss > Three years without my mother.
WindyCityMom's Avatar WindyCityMom 06:37 AM 05-07-2010
Hey everyone.. I'm a little down in the dumps. Three years ago today I lost my mother at the age of 16. She was 47 years old. I was newly pregnant with her first grandchild- I had only told her the day before. I feel the need to tell everyone about her story- she was such a strong motivated woman and she fought so hard during her life.

You can read some of my moms story in her own words (she had previously written it) on my blog.

Mom had cancer- she had quite a few things going on actually. Mom had a troubled life health-wise. In the 70s when she was 16 she had a massive stroke that left her in a coma for 3 months, and she lost movement in both her right arm and right leg. She had to re-learn everything. Later on, 10 years before she had me, her doctor wanted to do a scan of her brain- they found her AVM, which was the cause of her surprise "stroke". It was actually a massive bleed. Her doctors informed her that high blood pressure or pregnancy would be a danger to her health and likely cause it to bleed again- she chose no further treatment. 10 years later, she had me, and had an uneventful pregnancy. In early 2004, her doctor wanted to do a follow-up scan to check on her AVM. They found that it was too large to go untreated..she then underwent three embollizations (sp?) to shrink the size of her AVM. The third resulted in a mild stroke- she couldn't talk, but soon moved past that and was left with balance issues and fine motor skill issues. In August of 2004 her health took a turn for the worst. Her AVM bled again. I'll never forget that morning- I'm so glad I was home. She was feeling sick while sitting at the kitchen table. I was on the computer in the dining room. She went to lay down, and 10 minutes later she was hollering for me. She didn't look well- eyes rolling back in her head, etc. She began vomiting, and I knew something was horribly wrong. I ran down three flights of stairs and begged to use the neighbor's phone because ours was out. I called 911 and my grandmother and stepfather. When we got to the hospital, they had her on life support and things looked bad. They airlifted her to another hospital, where she remained for 60 days. They treated her and she soon was better. They decided to do a CT scan and found cancer in her lung. Mom battled this cancer for about 2.5 years. It went away, and returned again. It went back to her lung, they said they couldn't do anything, so she went to Cancer Treatment Ctrs of America (CTCA). They had new technology and her lung cancer was gone again. Poof. Then mom began feeling pain in her leg. We found that the cancer was in her bones. They removed it and put a rod in her leg because so much bone was destroyed. Then one day she seemed to be having a stroke, they found cancer in her brain. They removed one tumor and she was put in rehab for physical and occupational therapy. She passed away there two weeks later.

I'll never forget- I had gotten out of class that day and my stepdad phoned me, passed the phone to the doctor and they told me to get down there NOW, that they were transferring her back to the original hospital where she had her treatment and tha things looked real bad. I knew that I would lose her that day. I saw her, kissed her, hugged her. She was peaceful but it was still very hard. I said goodbye for the last time. Stepdad & I went to get coffee downstairs. She passed while we were gone- I'm glad we were downstairs at the time because I would have lost it. I didn't go back in and see her after she had passed- I was content leaving her the way I remembered her.

She was such a strong woman. She raised me alone, with one hand (due to her bleed in the 70s), diapered me, fed me, LOVED me. I was the baby she was never supposed to have- and she fought for me.

My 2yo was one of her dying wishes. She always wanted a grandchild- we thought she had a bit more time. My 2yo was born in the hospital my mom died in. That helped me be more at peace with her passing. Anyways- thank you if you read that.

SamiPolizzi's Avatar SamiPolizzi 12:46 PM 05-07-2010

Toolip's Avatar Toolip 08:32 PM 05-07-2010
so sorry mama
WindyCityMom's Avatar WindyCityMom 02:37 AM 05-08-2010
Thank you both. It has been a difficult day.
Momma Moo Martin's Avatar Momma Moo Martin 12:34 AM 05-09-2010
In remembrance of your strong, brave mom this Mother's Day
windsorheightsmom's Avatar windsorheightsmom 12:46 AM 05-09-2010
I am sorry you are feeling down. My parents are both gone--next month will be 30 years since my mother passed away. My father also died before I had any children. It's a continuing loss for me--you never stop needing your parents.