my "other mother's" husband died - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 05-26-2010, 09:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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when i was little there was a neighbor who kinda took me in. my mom was a totally non-creative person who didn't really understand her right brained intensely creative child. this woman nurtured my creative self and helped me be exactly who i was. when i was older i took care of her kids for her. (2 boys)

she always had a tough marriage. her H (last i knew) was alcoholic and they had separated. but the death notice in the paper lists her as "beloved wife."

he's a young guy. around 60 or less as far as i could figure. my father died suddenly when i was 15 (he was 56), so i know how shocking this kind of death can be. but her kids are much older. in their 30s.

we haven't been close in years. but i am going to the wake tonight (no funeral was listed on the death notice). i have to drive over and hour to get there, but i figure coffee can be my friend.

not sure what i am feeling, sadness and something else too.

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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#2 of 4 Old 05-27-2010, 12:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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now i feel angry. i found out tonight it wasn't sudden like the death notice said. it was alcohol. 61 years old, he drank himself to death. his oldest son found his rotting corpse on saturday. i didn't ask how long he'd been dead.

such a waste. his poor kids. i just wanted to cry when the oldest told he was the one who has found him. how sad.

i remember him before the alcohol took him. he was a good guy.

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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#3 of 4 Old 05-27-2010, 12:07 AM
 
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#4 of 4 Old 05-27-2010, 10:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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feeling emotional this morning. having so many memories of him when i was a kid. those photos of him with his newborn babies really got to me.

he was separated from his wife for 13 years before he died. i am sad that her kicking him out didn't help him see his drinking was an issue.

i was so good to reconnect with my friend though. her kids are all grown. one is married.

"Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift." -- Mary Olivercoolshine.gif

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