Goodbye Dad - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 05-27-2010, 04:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dad and mom divorced when I was 9, and he moved pretty far away shortly after that. Three years later, I even found out that my mom wasn't his first wife--and he had two kids before us, who I had never met or even heard about. So we didn't have the traditional daddy/daughter relationship, which I have always missed in my life--but, I always loved my dad, and really didn't have hard feelings towards him. I always wanted the best for him, and made sure to keep in contact, visit him with my daughter and husband, have him out to visit after DD1 was born, etc.

I am almost 35 weeks pregnant with DD2, and I found out two days ago that my dad died of a heart attack while driving. He was 60 years old. He will never meet DD2.

I am so sad right now, for all the years I thought we'd have together that are gone now, and for my DD2 who will never meet him, and my DD1 who probably won't remember him, and my half-sisters and brother who are grieving. I am so overwhelmed right now with the logistics of planning a funeral for someone who lived so far away. This is the hardest thing.

I just want to light a candle for my dad. I love you Daddy, and I hope you are watching over us down here. We miss you.

Wife to DH 6/05 partners.gif and mommy to DD1, born 10/07 dust.gif and DD2, born June 2010 energy.gif, and one cat.gif! We bftoddler.gif, familybed2.gif, and homeschool.gif

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#2 of 6 Old 05-27-2010, 06:56 PM
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Originally Posted by lawschoolmama View Post
My dad and mom divorced when I was 9, and he moved pretty far away shortly after that. Three years later, I even found out that my mom wasn't his first wife--and he had two kids before us, who I had never met or even heard about. So we didn't have the traditional daddy/daughter relationship, which I have always missed in my life--but, I always loved my dad, and really didn't have hard feelings towards him. I always wanted the best for him, and made sure to keep in contact, visit him with my daughter and husband, have him out to visit after DD1 was born, etc.

I am almost 35 weeks pregnant with DD2, and I found out two days ago that my dad died of a heart attack while driving. He was 60 years old. He will never meet DD2.

I am so sad right now, for all the years I thought we'd have together that are gone now, and for my DD2 who will never meet him, and my DD1 who probably won't remember him, and my half-sisters and brother who are grieving. I am so overwhelmed right now with the logistics of planning a funeral for someone who lived so far away. This is the hardest thing.

I just want to light a candle for my dad. I love you Daddy, and I hope you are watching over us down here. We miss you.
I hope that you get all the support you need in this difficult time. I know from experience that there's not really anything anyone can say to help - tomorrow is the twentieth anniversary of my Daddy's death. I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but I've haven't found that. The grief is always there, but eventually you'll learn to focus on the happy memories and not the sad ones.

If you want to talk, I'm more than willing to listen. I wish you the best.
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#3 of 6 Old 05-28-2010, 09:43 AM
 
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He will never meet DD2.
My dad adored DS1 and died before I was pregnant with DS2. It is really hard. I get some joy now, out of knowing how much he would have enjoyed DS1 and DS2, and enjoying both kids for him.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
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#4 of 6 Old 05-30-2010, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everybody, I appreciate your kind words.

Wife to DH 6/05 partners.gif and mommy to DD1, born 10/07 dust.gif and DD2, born June 2010 energy.gif, and one cat.gif! We bftoddler.gif, familybed2.gif, and homeschool.gif

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#5 of 6 Old 05-30-2010, 05:22 PM
 
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sorry for your loss.

Becky, sahm to angel.gif25/04/2000 Chloe 12/04/2002 Cameron 19/02/2004 Caitlin 28/06/2005 angel.gif24/07/2006 and Caden 14/03/2008

Xander 19/05/2011
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#6 of 6 Old 05-31-2010, 09:48 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss I hope the funeral went well and that you are surrounded by love and support.

Married to the love of my life, mom to DS :
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