My friend is dying and I just need to vent - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 08-14-2010, 12:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just found out that a friend from my son's school has terminal cancer. I've known her casually for about 4 years, her two sons are the same age as my sons - 4 and 7, our kids are friends at school and daycare. This was very sudden - she wasn't sick at new years, and they decided not to tell everyone (aside from school teachers etc), but her husband told my partner last week that she only has a couple of weeks to live. We have to go to her 7 year olds b'day party today, but probably won't see her unless she is feeling really good. I'm in shock and just so incredibly sad for her and her family. Her four year old will barely remember her, and her spirited 7 year old really needs his mum - this is going to be a devastating loss for them. I can't imagine how to say goodbye to your children, and just knowing that you'll never see them grow up.
Other people had heard rumours that she was sick, but I hadn't heard, and am totally devastated.
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#2 of 6 Old 08-14-2010, 12:39 PM
 
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Oh my goodness. That must be so hard.

Sandra SAHM to Kayleigh and welcoming Emily January 2010
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#3 of 6 Old 08-14-2010, 12:40 PM
 
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(hugs)

Mama to three

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#4 of 6 Old 08-14-2010, 04:46 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. That must be so difficult for her family, but this is also traumatic for you too. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Your grief is very real, even though this is happening to someone else.
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#5 of 6 Old 08-14-2010, 10:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your supportive thoughts. The party was good and her kids had a great time. Her mother is there, along with her childhood friends, and palliative caregivers. She did not want to see people, which I completely understand, but I miss the opportunity to say goodbye. Her husband is doing remarkably well, but I think it is easier now when there are constantly so many things to do and take care of her, but it will be so much harder when she is gone. He said she was supposed to be dead already, and is fighting, not ready to leave her family. We can always hope for miracles, it does happen.
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#6 of 6 Old 08-15-2010, 05:03 AM
 
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earlier this year one of my dd's friends from second grade lost his father. in may as part of a class project - the kind where the teacher writes the first part of the sentence and the children finish it, the wrote 7 year old wrote a poem all about his father. when the mother saw it she just could not stop crying. it gave her a glimpse of exactly how her son felt.

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