She was six weeks old. Her birth was a totally fine surprise breech, she was a great nurser, had already gained a pound and a half past her birth weight, and seemed totally healthy.
On the way home from a walk to the store in the early am, she started fussing because she was hungry. I couldn't get her to latch on and she stopped fussing about halfway home. I assumed she had fallen asleep like she normally would on a walk. When I took her out of the sling to nurse she wasn't breathing. Her dad called 911 immediately and the paramedics showed up within 5-10 mintues. She had a pulse when they left for the hospital but after several rounds of cpr with oxygen and shots of epinephrine and various other treatments, they could not detect and heart movement via ultrasound....
I feel so terrible that she was cuddled up right next to me and I didn't notice that she had stopped breathing.
I'm so, so sorry, mama. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling.
Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) , Emma (5/03) , Evan (7/05) , & Jenna (6/09)
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing Aaron Ambrose (11/07)
I am so sorry for your tragic loss ... so, so sorry.
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I am so very sorry. I am sending you thoughts of strength.
DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.
oh this is heartbreaking. i am so so sorry. do the doctors have any idea what happened? my firstborn died just after birth, he never breathed on his own. the pain is unbearable. a great website for grief, which i went to all the time, is www.nationalshare.org. SO much support there, and they have a chat.
I'm so sorry. It just breaks my heart that you are going through this.
The what-ifs will always eat away at you, so try to be gentle with yourself. After my dd was stillborn years ago, it's like I had to relive in my mind over and over that last day to see if I would have done anything different. And you know, we all do the best we can as mothers. I kept thinking of 'this thing' and 'that thing' I would have done differently and in reality, I did the best I could. Talk to others who are going through/have gone through the loss of a child. The only comfort I found was knowing I wasn't alone.
I am so so very sorry for your loss. I know there are no words to make any of this easier on you or your family. Lots of love and virtual hugs are coming your way. <3
Elizabeth wife to Matt , mom to Logan (2/21/01) , and little man Desmond (9/23/08)
Mourning the loss of her father: Robert Edward Dillon 5/31/52 - 01/03/2011
So very sorry for your loss. Wishing you the space to grieve and healing vibes as you work through all your feelings.
Former WIC Peer Breastfeeding Counselor (2005-2011) now SAHM to DD (8/2003), DD (8/2008 ), mate to since 07/2000. Expecting Baby Roo Mid July 2011!
I'm certain no words can capture the pain you are experiencing. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm so so sorry mama. I can only imagine what you are going through.
~ I noticed you are in Spokane, I am in Spokane as well. If you need anything, anything at all, please msg me. Also, I know the Spokane Mindful Mamas group here in the city would be more than willing to help you with anything as well. Please, please reach out to us if you need support! I'm so sorry! :(
mama to one DS and one DD, equally amazing.
Just a bit of an update. We got a call from the coroner yesterday and they didn't find anything at all wrong with her. We have to wait 8-10 weeks for the toxocology reports.
I'm so sorry. If it's any comfort, hold on to the fact that she WAS cuddled up to you when she went- right where she wanted to be, right where she could feel her Mama and her Mama's love.