I lost my baby girl today (WARNING mentions infant death in some detail) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 04:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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She was six weeks old. Her birth was a totally fine surprise breech, she was a great nurser, had already gained a pound and a half past her birth weight, and seemed totally healthy.

On the way home from a walk to the store in the early am, she started fussing because she was hungry. I couldn't get her to latch on and she stopped fussing about halfway home. I assumed she had fallen asleep like she normally would on a walk. When I took her out of the sling to nurse she wasn't breathing. Her dad called 911 immediately and the paramedics showed up within 5-10 mintues. She had a pulse when they left for the hospital but after several rounds of cpr with oxygen and shots of epinephrine and various other treatments, they could not detect and heart movement via ultrasound....

I feel so terrible that she was cuddled up right next to me and I didn't notice that she had stopped breathing.


Student and aspiring midwife mama to Angel: and Iris. Expecting a new sometime near Halloween! I am a all the way!!!!!
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#2 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 05:17 PM
 
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I am so very sorry for your loss. Love and light to you.  

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#3 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 05:20 PM
 
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I am so sorry, mama. :hug:

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#4 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 05:45 PM
 
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I'm so, so sorry, mama. I can't even begin to imagine how you must be feeling.


Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#5 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 05:45 PM
 
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I am very sorry for your loss. hug.gif

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#6 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 05:50 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your tragic loss ... so, so sorry.


dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#7 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 06:58 PM
 
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I am so very sorry. You are in my thoughts.
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#8 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 07:17 PM
 
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I am so very sorry. I am sending you thoughts of strength.


DS, 10/07. Allergies: peanut, egg, wheat. We've added dairy back in. And taken it back out again. It causes sandpaper skin with itchy patches and thrashing during sleep. Due w/ #2 late April, 2012.

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#9 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 07:40 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss.  Wishing you peace and strength.

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#10 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 07:52 PM
 
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oh this is heartbreaking.  i am so so sorry.  do the doctors have any idea what happened?  my firstborn died just after birth, he never breathed on his own.  the pain is unbearable.  a great website for grief, which i went to all the time, is www.nationalshare.org.  SO much support there, and they have a chat.

 

blessings.


momma to my little red-headed son b/d 12/18/05 angel.gif fly angel fly!, to my rainbow girl 03/07heartbeat.gif, and to my second rainbow girl 08/10heartbeat.gif
 
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#11 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 08:17 PM
 
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Oh mama... I am so sorry for your loss. hug2.gif

 sleepytime.gif
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#12 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 09:40 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.  It just breaks my heart that you are going through this.  greensad.gif

 

The what-ifs will always eat away at you, so try to be gentle with yourself.  After my dd was stillborn years ago, it's like I had to relive in my mind over and over that last day to see if I would have done anything different.  And you know, we all do the best we can as mothers.  I kept thinking of 'this thing' and 'that thing' I would have done differently and in reality, I did the best I could.  Talk to others who are going through/have gone through the loss of a child.  The only comfort I found was knowing I wasn't alone.  hug2.gif


*formerly apecaut*, Mom to A, Calliope (stillborn 40 weeks 6/22/07), A and O
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#13 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 10:02 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry, mama.


Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#14 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 10:38 PM
 
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I am so so very sorry for your loss. I know there are no words to make any of this easier on you or your family. Lots of love and virtual hugs are coming your way. <3


Elizabeth wife to Matt , mom to Logan (2/21/01) , and little man Desmond (9/23/08)

Mourning the loss of her father: Robert Edward Dillon 5/31/52 - 01/03/2011

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#15 of 44 Old 01-04-2011, 10:47 PM
 
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I am so sorry Mama.  


SAHM to Chloe«- 6/2008 (10 lbs, 5 oz), Hannah- 9/2010 (9 lbs, 12 oz), Liam- 2/2013 (9 lbs, 6 oz)

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#16 of 44 Old 01-05-2011, 12:25 AM
 
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I'm so sorry mama. peace and comfort in this difficult time.


rainbow1284.gif Mama to DD1 (6) DD2 (4) and DD3 (1)
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#17 of 44 Old 01-05-2011, 03:26 AM
 
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hug.gif I'm so very sorry for this terrible loss. Be gentle with yourself. 

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#18 of 44 Old 01-05-2011, 03:11 PM
 
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I"m so sorry.

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#19 of 44 Old 01-05-2011, 05:32 PM
 
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candle.gif So very sorry for your loss. Wishing you the space to grieve and healing vibes as you work through all your feelings. goodvibes.gif


winner.jpgFormer WIC Peer Breastfeeding Counselor (2005-2011) now SAHM to bouncy.gif DD (8/2003), thumbsuck.gif DD (8/2008homebirth.jpg ), mate to jammin.gif since 07/2000. Expecting Baby Roo Mid July 2011!  stork-suprise.gifcd.gif

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#20 of 44 Old 01-05-2011, 05:48 PM
 
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Oh, mama.  I am so, so sorry.  candle.gif  I will be thinking of your dear, sweet baby tonight and wish you peace.


Sleepy mama to Colin Theodore 8-12-08 and Trevor Arthur 7-17-12.

 

 

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#21 of 44 Old 01-05-2011, 06:34 PM
 
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I'm certain no words can capture the pain you are experiencing. I'm so sorry for your loss.

CD'ing, homebirthing, milk making school teacher. Supporting my family on my income and trying to get out of debt in 2013!
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#22 of 44 Old 01-05-2011, 07:08 PM
 
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greensad.gif  I'm so sorry, how absolutely horrible.


Me 36, DH 40

IVF #1=DS 4 luxlove.gif, FET #1=BFNmecry.gif, IVF #2=angel.gif, IVF #3= DD brand new! luxlove.gif

2 horses, 1 dog, 1 cat

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#23 of 44 Old 01-05-2011, 07:09 PM
 
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So very sorry. candle.gif


I don't come here anymore. MDC has become overgrown with ads & useless extra forums.
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#24 of 44 Old 01-05-2011, 10:03 PM
 
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I'm so so sorry mama. I can only imagine what you are going through. 

 

~ I noticed you are in Spokane, I am in Spokane as well. If you need anything, anything at all, please msg me. Also, I know the Spokane Mindful Mamas group here in the city would be more than willing to help you with anything as well. Please, please reach out to us if you need support! I'm so sorry! :(


knit.gifsewmachine.gifintactivist.giftreehugger.gif mama to one DS and one DD, equally amazing.
 

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#25 of 44 Old 01-06-2011, 11:44 AM
 
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Hugs to you...

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#26 of 44 Old 01-07-2011, 02:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just a bit of an update. We got a call from the coroner yesterday and they didn't find anything at all wrong with her. We have to wait 8-10 weeks for the toxocology reports.


Student and aspiring midwife mama to Angel: and Iris. Expecting a new sometime near Halloween! I am a all the way!!!!!
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#27 of 44 Old 01-07-2011, 03:12 PM
 
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candle.gif


mama to one '07 and one '09
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#28 of 44 Old 01-07-2011, 03:12 PM
 
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I'm so sorry Mama.

Peace to you and your family.


Lovin my sweet babygirl 3-17-10love.gif and expecting another in March! love.gif

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#29 of 44 Old 01-07-2011, 03:21 PM
 
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I am so sorry.  candle.gif RIP sweet baby

 

I hope you get some answers soon.

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#30 of 44 Old 01-08-2011, 02:36 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.  If it's any comfort, hold on to the fact that she WAS cuddled up to you when she went- right where she wanted to be, right where she could feel her Mama and her Mama's love.


I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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