My mom died suddenly and unexpectedly with no explanation - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 34 Old 09-21-2012, 10:37 AM
 
DancinTulip's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Calgary, AB
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I am very sorry for anyone's loss of their mother who was also their best friend. I am in the same situation only I lost my mom and her best friend(my second mom) 9 months ago in a car accident. 

 

The feelings of it not being real are still very strong for me. My mom and her best friend were huge travellers and I often think they are just on a long trip somewhere. 

 

I did not meet my grandmother as she choked to death when my mom was younger. I cannot believe that my children will not meet the most amazing woman in my life. She was my best friend too. 

 

I find that the hardest part of my day is falling asleep as this is the time when my mind reflects and goes through everything and of course so many things remind me of my mom, are linked to her, someone mentioned her, I sat and looked at pictures for a bit etc. It all comes to ahead at night and sometimes I cry myself to sleep. 

 

Having key support people has been good, but dealing with the pain and emotions myself at my own speed has really helped. We are hoping to become pregnant soon and I want to make sure I am not going to be a hormonal basketcase so I am seeking counselling so I dont confuse the emotions and then have heavy post partum. 

 

"No one can tell you HOW to grieve or how LONG you can grieve for." - Best advice I have received.

 

I will grieve for the rest of my life because of this loss. M\y dad has other ideas and thought I should have been moving on in March. Glad he doesnt live near me. That could have been a disaster. 

 

Take care, we are all here together. I am so glad to have found this community. 

 

Hugs

DancinTulip is offline  
#32 of 34 Old 09-22-2012, 12:31 PM
 
mar123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 582
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

It has been a year since the OP, and I want to say that I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mother 6 and half years ago. While she had health problems, it was still a shock. She went to sleep one night, and she did not wake up. She lost her home in Hurricane Katrina, rebuilt, moved in January of 2006 and died two months later. It was the first time in her life she had all new, nice things. I still think it was the stress of the storm that hastened her death. almost seven years later, and I still pick up the phone to call her. I was her only child, so everything fell to me to deal with, all the decisions to make, etc. My parents were divorced when I was a year old, so my dad wasn't interested in my grieving. He didn't even come to the service, which upset me because I see services as for the living as much as for the deceased. It breaks my heart that my kids won't have the same memories of her that I have of my grandmothers, who are so special to me.

 

It gets easier, but it never gets easy. Hugs to all who are suffering with loss.

Sheepdoc likes this.
mar123 is offline  
#33 of 34 Old 02-20-2014, 10:44 AM
 
Sheepdoc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 87
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
It does not get better. The better days/moments slowly start to become more frequent but this loss and all it's sadness is forever.
You may benefit from either herbal or pharmaceutical medication as a crutch for a short time, especially as you have a small child who needs you.
One idea is to put a number on your calendar every night rating the day 1-4. After several weeks it may help to look back and see how the bad days get less frequent over time.

There are stages to grief and everyone needs to work through them in their own time. That said, children are sensitive to the emotions around them and need son cushioning from such overwhelming grief as you describe. A professional counselor might help.

Sorry for your loss.
Sheepdoc is offline  
#34 of 34 Old 03-08-2014, 01:49 AM
 
lizmen60's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I know that the original post was back in 2011 but I have been searching the Internet and this is the only thing I have found that is somewhat similar to my situation. I lost my healthy mum last month, she was 53 and just died in her sleep. The autopsy found nothing and her death certificate had unknown cause of death. I just don't understand how this could have happened. I'm still in shock and I don't know if knowing how my mum died will help me in any way. I'm telling myself that it will as we are currently waiting on blood test's to cone back but they take 10-12 WEEKS. I just thought I'd share as it is comforting (not the right word to use but I can't think) to know I'm not alone in losing my mum like this. all the other things I have found have been cancer forums. thanks
lizmen60 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off