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#31 of 65 Old 12-31-2012, 01:11 PM
 
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I just wanted to send you my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for your loss. You sound so strong, while you may not feel it now, I can sense it in your post and blog. I wish you peace and healing in 2013 and beyond.

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#32 of 65 Old 12-31-2012, 11:10 PM
 
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I can't imagine losing a child like this, and I can't imagine being the one responsible for a child being lost this way. Such a tragedy for everyone. It just makes no sense. 

 

Hang in there, momma.

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#33 of 65 Old 01-01-2013, 06:55 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss.

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#34 of 65 Old 01-03-2013, 05:09 AM
 
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You are in my thoughts. I cannot imagine the pain.


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#35 of 65 Old 01-03-2013, 08:12 PM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss.

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#36 of 65 Old 01-04-2013, 04:20 AM
 
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My love to your family and you.  I wish no parent to go through this :(


Mama to five, not 13.  I just like pumpkins and thought that number would not be taken.

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#37 of 65 Old 01-04-2013, 04:11 PM
 
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I saw your title on the main page and my heart fell for you. I'm sorry for the agony that you are enduring. Thinking supportive thoughts for you.


DS arrived 3/10/10, DD arrived 3/13/13, and a third will be joining us around 5/20/14. pos.gif
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#38 of 65 Old 01-09-2013, 08:03 PM
 
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My daughter Rosalie died exactly one year before your son, in her sleep, three weeks before her 2nd birthday. She was healthy and happy. The medical examiner found nothing wrong with her. It is ice-cold agony. You go on by going on. You keep breathing, though you don't know why. We're animals, hardwired to survive. Sometimes this feels like a curse. Someone upthread advised that you accept all help offered. I agree. And I'd add, don't force yourself to do anything. If you need to sit in the dirt and scream and not change your clothes for a week, do it. Let other people take care of life for a while. Everyone grieves in their own way, so whatever your way is, do it and don't allow anyone to tell you you should be doing something different. Losing a child throws you out of the culture in many ways. It puts you in a place no one ever wants to understand. Let your loved ones abide with you, and do what you need to do. As unbelievable as it sounds right now, you will find a way forward, but you don't need to think that far ahead yet. I wish you and your family weren't going through this. I wish you whatever peace you can find.
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#39 of 65 Old 01-09-2013, 09:34 PM
 
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I'm so so sorry. Cannot even begin to imagine.

Mom to a girl 7.17.07 and a boy 5.30.09 Wife to husband 8.12.81 (ha) New baby boy 3.09.11 stillheart.gif
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#40 of 65 Old 01-09-2013, 09:39 PM
 
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I'm so sorry mama... You may not feel like it, but I think you've been very, very strong. You all have my well wishes, and prayers, and my strength, should you need it. 

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#41 of 65 Old 01-09-2013, 09:57 PM
 
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I am so sorry.


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#42 of 65 Old 01-11-2013, 02:36 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry. My heart is breaking for you.
 


Mama since 2010
Multicultural living in Europe
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#43 of 65 Old 02-03-2013, 10:48 PM
 
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I am so very very sorry for your loss.

My son is 2.5....my only child...and if he was to be taken from me...I could no longer live.....

You are such a very strong women.

I read your whole blog.....it made tears roll down my face.

I would hate the whole world if I were in your shoes.

But you stay positive & strong....you are an amazing women.

My heart and soul are with you and yours,

Nikki

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#44 of 65 Old 02-12-2013, 12:22 AM
 
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There are no words to express how sorry I am and how much I wish I could bring you solace. Your son sounds like he was a beautiful little guy with a strong name. Its so hard to know what to say when a mother loses a child--i think thats why people try to ignore the fact that it happens. That is very unfortunate and i wish things would change. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers hug.gif

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#45 of 65 Old 02-19-2013, 08:23 PM
 
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You are so strong I cried reading your blog hug2.gif you are an amazing mother and women


Glenn bouncy.gif 11*09 Joe 4*04 peace.gif Me praying.gif & Hubby geek.gif

 

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#46 of 65 Old 02-19-2013, 08:29 PM
 
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I am so sorry. I read your blog and cried. Prayer for you and you family.  You are an  amazingly strong mother. Please, go on. For your kids, for yourself and for Bram.

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#47 of 65 Old 02-19-2013, 08:52 PM
 
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Oh, you beautiful lady. It is so special and rare that your little children nursed together like that with you. Something to treasure so dearly. Your strength for your children is a shining light. Love, love, love to you all. I wish I had words to express how I admire and am awed by you.

Jean, happy HS mom to Peter (5), Daniel (9) and Lucie (2) and also someone new... baby.gif
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#48 of 65 Old 02-24-2013, 01:19 PM
 
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I think of your sweet son often. The days after loss can be so dark. hug2.gif


Mom of 5: dd (10), ds (8) & dd2 (4), my sweet baby son born still 3/2/09, and celebrating the arrival of our dd 5/7/10.
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#49 of 65 Old 02-25-2013, 12:10 PM
 
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So heartbroken for you. You're grief will always be with you. I have lost two children. I lost my third child eight and a half years ago and my fifth child two years ago. The grief will subside, but will never disappear. I have just learned a new way to live. Losing a child is the worst experience. I still have a relationship with my daughter's that died. They are still my children, Just like Bram will always ne your son. I don't have good advice to help you:(, just take it a day at a time, be gentle with yourself, enjoy the happy moments, set aside time daily to grieve, planting a memorial garden, scrapbooking can be therapeutic. I went to a support group and found like many that it was too hard on me emotionally. Know whatever crazy grief feelings you are experiencing that you ARE NOT alone. Your blog is good, you may want to journal too. I just want to give you a hug!! The change of seasons (wintet to spring) may be of some relief. I personally have a more difficult time in the winter, maybe b/c my last child died the day after Christmas. Plan your special days like Bram's bday, know in advance what you will do that day. We still celebrate our children's birthdays with cakes, etc. Email me if you would like [email protected] Namaste.
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#50 of 65 Old 03-03-2013, 10:16 AM
 
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I'm so sorry for your loss mama. I read through your blog and was glad to learn more about Bram, he sounds like a very special boy. {{{hugs}}}

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#51 of 65 Old 03-18-2013, 08:22 PM
 
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I saw your story on facebook and saw that it was his birthday recently. I am so sorry for your loss and the pain that you and your family are going through. you've been in my thoughts and I wish it had never happened. 


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#52 of 65 Old 03-24-2013, 03:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's been just over 4 months and Im breathing. Still very lost. His birthday (which is in the birth stories here) was the 13. Such a bittersweet day.

bf.jpg Sami brokenheart.gif, wife to jammin.gif, mama to reading.gif Tate 10/14/05, moon.gifKaleb 12/17/07, angel.gifcandleflicker2.gif Bram 3/13/10-11/17/12, mischievous.gif Alden 2/1/12, pos.gif October 2014
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#53 of 65 Old 03-24-2013, 03:49 PM
 
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Thanks for checking in. I'm glad to hear you're making it. I think of you and your family often. hug2.gif


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Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

SIDS happens. 

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#54 of 65 Old 04-13-2013, 08:47 PM
 
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I am sitting here at the computer, reading your blog, bawling my eyes out. This world is so unfair. A parent should never lose a child, ever. It is so wrong, and I hate it. I hate the pain you are going through, and I hate the fear I have every single day of losing my own children. I've had those nightmares like the ones you've described, and awoke crying and afraid. There is no future to daydream about, because in an instant your life can change. I accept your challenge, to be bold, to love, and to be fearless--in honor of Bram. All we have for certain is the present, and there is no reason to let one moment slip by without showing your loved ones how important they are.

 

I'm sorry you, your son, and your family have to suffer this way.

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#55 of 65 Old 05-03-2013, 11:57 AM
 
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I was just reading your blog and I can't believe the comments you've gotten.  What in the hell is wrong with people?  He was a child, standing there, a spilt second, anything could go wrong or nothing at all.  For goodness sake, I'm outraged for you.  

I'm so sorry, people just don't understand, there are no guarantees in life, you literally NEVER know what might happen.  It's not about doing everything right.

 

Stay strong.  

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#56 of 65 Old 05-04-2013, 03:33 PM
 
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i am so so sorry for your loss it is a really hard thing to thru i hope you can find some peace as time goes byhug2.gif


happily in love with dh blowkiss.gif and raise my three jelly beansjumpers.gif and missing my  babies in heavenangel3.gifangel3.gifangel2.gifangel1.gifangel1.gifangel1.gif angel.gif we finely got are rainbow and me and her daddy are so glad are rainbow is here  born on 11/07/2013 
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#57 of 65 Old 08-22-2013, 03:07 PM
 
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There are no words.  You are a stranger to me, yet your grief is palpable.  The experience is horrific and beyond a nightmare.  You are a stranger to me, yet if I could, I would hold you while you grieved.  I am so sorry.

 

I recently experienced a loss in my life and was sent the following blessing.  I want to share it with you.

 

A Blessing

 

May you know that absence is full

of tender presence and that nothing

is ever lost or forgotten.

 

May the absence in your life be full of eternal echo.

 

May you sense around you the

secret Elsewhere which holds

the presences that have left your life.

 

May you be generous in your embrace of life.

 

May the sore well of grief turn into

a well of seamless presence.

 

May your compassion reach out to

the ones we never hear from

and may you have the courage to spread out for

the excluded ones.

 

May you become the gracious

and passionate subject of

your own life.

 

May you not disrespect your

mystery through brittle

words or false belonging.

 

May you be embraced by

all that is both sacred and good

where dawn and twilight are one, and may your belonging inhabit its deepest dreams within the

shelter of the Great Belonging.

 

                                                  -John O'Donohue (from Eternal Echoes)


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#58 of 65 Old 08-23-2013, 04:31 AM
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I am so, so very sorry. hug.gif


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#59 of 65 Old 08-28-2013, 09:27 AM
 
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Oh. I just finished reading over your blog after stumbling across this post. I...am so sorry. My heart is aching after reading what I read. I wish you lived close by, were my neighbor, my friend. I would just sit with you if you needed it. When I read what you wrote about victim blaming and the comments some posted...it makes me hate people. I don't want to hate people. But I don't understand how people say the things they say sometimes. It makes me think bad things like how I want to punch those people in the face. Maybe that's terrible to say. But WTF. Why would people mess with a grieving mother? Like...W.....T.....F!

 

I'm sorry. So sorry.


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#60 of 65 Old 08-29-2013, 01:21 PM
 
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I have read through your blog, and I am so very, very sorry for your loss.  You have reminded me so powerfully that I can never take my daughter for granted and that tragedy can strike anybody.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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