Not sure where to post this, not sure there are others like me here.
You can read the details I've been able to share so far on my blog. http://www.bramxavier.blogspot.com/
How do you function? How do you breathe?
I keep going for my other kiddos but this is just unescapable and a huge burden to bare.
Sami , wife to , mama to Tate 10/14/05, Kaleb 12/17/07, Bram 3/13/10-11/17/12, Alden 2/1/12, October 2014
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." ~ Emo Philips
Me, DH, DS1, DS2, November 2012 , July 2013 , March 2014
Waiting on my SunshineBaby
I can't find your blog, but after a quick google search, I think I understand what happened. I am so, so sorry for your tragic loss. I have no idea what it would be like to lose a child that was as old as yours, but I know what the aftermath of losing your child is like.
ETA: I found it. I am so sorry you had to see those things, and that your son is no longer with you. There are no words.
How do you function, how do you breathe?
My answer: Barely, with drugs.
After Charlie died, I was on a pretty hefty dose of zoloft. It was the only thing other than my little girl that kept me alive. There were nights where I felt like I wouldnt make it until the sun came up and people were awake to make sure that I was alright. You will breathe again- you will. We're still pretty raw, and there are still so many time when I close my eyes and see things I can't unsee, but it is so much better than it was in the first couple of months.
I know there are other mamas here who have lost babies and children- know that you aren't alone. My blog is on my profile if you want to read about some of ways that I felt after his passing, and as I have started to heal. It's not an easy journey, and it will never be over.
Holly and David
Adaline (3/20/10), and Charlie (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)
I'm so very very sorry for what you're going through. I'm sorry for the tragic loss of your son. Grief is a terribly dark, confusing, angry, and lonely place to be. One suggestion--see if your library carries the book called "Tear Soup." That book was literally a lifesaver for me.
We have a mutual friend on Facebook, who posted your story. I have thought about you, and your family, every single day since you lost Bram. I am so, so sorry for your loss.
How do you function? Barely. You go through the motions, you wish it had been you, or anyone else. You wonder every minute how the world keeps turning around you. And you just go on, any way you can with every moment full of loss, until one day a minute happens that you forget for one moment, so you feel guilty. It goes up and down, some days better, some days worse, until life creeps back in, whether you want it to or not.
That was my experience, everyone does it differently.
Accept as much help as you can.
I'm so sorry.
I know your story from Facebook. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful little boy.
I lost Aaron at birth, which just isn't the same thing - he wasn't wound into the fabric of our lives the way Bram was into yours. But, I mostly kept going, cliche as it sounds, by going one day at a time....just kept putting one foot in front of the other, crying when I needed to (a lot), etc.
There's nothing I can say that will help, but I'm so sorry.
Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) , Emma (5/03) , Evan (7/05) , & Jenna (6/09)
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing Aaron Ambrose (11/07)
I'm truly saddened by this....there are no words as I can't even begin to imagine your pain and emptiness... so sorrry....
Tricia, married to DH. 2MC's & 4 yrs ttc...finally mom to Andrew6/06 and Benjamin 10/09. Adopted bro & sis 2002. My 2 fav. words: Spay and Neuter! I'm an Ultimate Viewer, 2010!
I am posting a link to a blog of a mother whose son died a year and a half ago during a freak rainstorm:
I hope you find some solace in it.
I am so sorry for your tragic loss. Your story is heartbreaking and your blog brought me to tears. I pray you find the strength you need to hold your family together and raise your other children. This is every mothers worst nightmare and I am so saddened by your loss :(
|Grief And Loss|