My son is dead. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 66 Old 12-21-2012, 09:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Not sure where to post this, not sure there are others like me here.

 

You can read the details I've been able to share so far on my blog. http://www.bramxavier.blogspot.com/

 

How do you function? How do you breathe? 

 

I keep going for my other kiddos but this is just unescapable and a huge burden to bare. 


bf.jpg Sami brokenheart.gif, wife to jammin.gif, mama to reading.gif Tate 10/14/05, moon.gifKaleb 12/17/07, angel.gifcandleflicker2.gif Bram 3/13/10-11/17/12, mischievous.gif Alden 2/1/12, pos.gif October 2014
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#2 of 66 Old 12-21-2012, 09:54 PM
 
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Oh I am so, so, so very sorry about your son. I don't even know what to say but I didn't want to read this and not post. I cannot even begin to imagine how I would function as I don't think I would be able to. I'm just so very sorry...

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." ~ Emo Philips tea6.gif

Me, DH, DS1, DS2, November 2012 brokenheart.gif, July 2013 brokenheart.gif, March 2014 brokenheart.gif

candle.gif Waiting on my SunshineBaby om.gif

 

  
 
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#3 of 66 Old 12-21-2012, 09:57 PM
 
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I can't find your blog, but after a quick google search, I think I understand what happened. I am so, so sorry for your tragic loss. I have no idea what it would be like to lose a child that was as old as yours, but I know what the aftermath of losing your child is like.

 

ETA: I found it. I am so sorry you had to see those things, and that your son is no longer with you. There are no words.  

 

How do you function, how do you breathe? 

My answer: Barely, with drugs. 

 

After Charlie died, I was on a pretty hefty dose of zoloft. It was the only thing other than my little girl that kept me alive. There were nights where I felt like I wouldnt make it until the sun came up and people were awake to make sure that I was alright. You will breathe again- you will. We're still pretty raw, and there are still so many time when I close my eyes and see things I can't unsee, but it is so much better than it was in the first couple of months. 

 

I know there are other mamas here who have lost babies and children- know that you aren't alone. My blog is on my profile if you want to read about some of ways that I felt after his passing, and as I have started to heal. It's not an easy journey, and it will never be over. 


Holly and David partners.gif

Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

SIDS happens. 

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#4 of 66 Old 12-21-2012, 10:03 PM
 
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I'm so very very sorry for what you're going through.  I'm sorry for the tragic loss of your son.  Grief is a terribly dark, confusing, angry, and lonely place to be. One suggestion--see if your library carries the book called "Tear Soup."  That book was literally a lifesaver for me.

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#5 of 66 Old 12-21-2012, 10:25 PM
 
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I'm so very sorry.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

lucky mom to Oliver, 8/6/07, and Finn, 11/28/10, and wife to DH
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#6 of 66 Old 12-21-2012, 10:35 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your profound loss. My heart goes out to you.

May 2012: New Mama to L., my beautiful boy
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#7 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 04:22 AM
 
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Oh mama...  I am so very sorry.  (((hugs)))) (I wish I could give you a real one instead of these silly internet ones)

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#8 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 05:00 AM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss, mama. *hugs*


sleeping.gifMama to DD dust.gif(12.2005), DS1 sleepytime.gif (01.2009), DS2 babyboy.gif (04.28.2013) with DH heartbeat.gif04.10.13!!heartbeat.gif namaste.gif

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#9 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 06:26 AM
 
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I am so sorry. :( How are you doing?


My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#10 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 07:42 AM
 
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We have a mutual friend on Facebook, who posted your story.  I have thought about you, and your family, every single day since you lost Bram.  I am so, so sorry for your loss. 


He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.  ~Albert Einstein
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#11 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 08:01 AM
 
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I'm so sorry. I can't fathom your grief as I've never lost a child. I have grieved.
How do you function? Barely. You go through the motions, you wish it had been you, or anyone else. You wonder every minute how the world keeps turning around you. And you just go on, any way you can with every moment full of loss, until one day a minute happens that you forget for one moment, so you feel guilty. It goes up and down, some days better, some days worse, until life creeps back in, whether you want it to or not.
That was my experience, everyone does it differently.
Accept as much help as you can.
I'm so sorry.
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#12 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 08:41 AM
 
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I am so, so sorry for your loss.  I can't even imagine.  


A, jammin.gif mama to a boy (2005) and a girl (2009)
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#13 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 09:07 AM
 
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candle.gif

There are no words, but I am so sorry you are going through this.

Prayers to you and your family.


Lovin my sweet babygirl 3-17-10love.gif and expecting another in March! love.gif

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#14 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 01:47 PM
 
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I am so sorry for your loss. I just can't imagine. So so sorry.


Happy mama to DS1 (2006), DS2 (2007) & DD (2012)

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#15 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 01:59 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.  :( 
 


bellyhair.giftreehugger.gif     coolshine.gif      greenthumb.gif     read.gif
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#16 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 02:35 PM
 
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candle.gif so sorry

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#17 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 03:22 PM
 
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I know your story from Facebook. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful little boy.

 

I lost Aaron at birth, which just isn't the same thing - he wasn't wound into the fabric of our lives the way Bram was into yours. But, I mostly kept going, cliche as it sounds, by going one day at a time....just kept putting one foot in front of the other, crying when I needed to (a lot), etc.

 

There's nothing I can say that will help, but I'm so sorry.


Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

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#18 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 05:27 PM
 
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I read your blog. Thanks so much for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss.
You are a strong and powerful woman. I could really feel that through your words.
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#19 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 05:42 PM
 
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My heart goes out to you and your family. I am so sorry.


TizTaz5, wife of a wonderful husband and mother of an angel (lost June '09) and two rainbow1284.gif babies born in July '13. Great things really do come in pairs!
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#20 of 66 Old 12-22-2012, 06:26 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. Praying for you and your family.

Married to overworked  DH reading.gif since 2003, happily familybed1.gif mama to DD (01/09) and  babyboy.gif DS (4/12)

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#21 of 66 Old 12-23-2012, 12:18 AM
 
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living with alopecia universalis (google it), learning alongside my children DD 2003blahblah.gif DS 2007fencing.gifDD 2011jog.gif

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#22 of 66 Old 12-23-2012, 08:51 AM
 
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I am so very sorry for all of you and what you are going through. 

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#23 of 66 Old 12-23-2012, 10:05 AM
 
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I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine, there are no words. I am praying for you and your family.

Wife to dh, Mommy to ds1 12/2002, ds2 9/2005, and ds3 9/2008.
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#24 of 66 Old 12-23-2012, 01:24 PM
 
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I am so, so sorry, mama.  There are just no words.

 

I wish you peace.


Sleepy mama to Colin Theodore 8-12-08 and Trevor Arthur 7-17-12.

 

 

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#25 of 66 Old 12-23-2012, 01:47 PM
 
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I'm truly saddened by this....there are no words as I can't even begin to imagine your pain and emptiness... so sorrry....


Tricia, married to DH. 2MC's & 4 yrs ttc...finally mom to Andrew6/06 and Benjamin 10/09. Adopted bro & sis 2002. My 2 fav. words: Spay and Neuter! I'm an Ultimate Viewer, 2010!

 

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#26 of 66 Old 12-23-2012, 05:46 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.


If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

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#27 of 66 Old 12-23-2012, 08:08 PM
 
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I'm so sorry.  Please hang on.  stillheart.gif


lovestory.gif   And on 09/23/2011, we were three;  husband, daughter, and me!

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#28 of 66 Old 12-23-2012, 08:27 PM
 
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There are no words adequate enough to express how sorry I am that this happened to you and your family. I am holding you all close in my heart.

I am posting a link to a blog of a mother whose son died a year and a half ago during a freak rainstorm:

http://aninchofgray.blogspot.com/2012/12/beforeafter.html?m=1

I hope you find some solace in it.

Walking in the light with DH, DD (11/08), DS (4/10) , four dogs, and one insouciant cat.
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#29 of 66 Old 12-25-2012, 07:48 AM
 
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You are in my thoughts.

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#30 of 66 Old 12-25-2012, 07:52 AM
 
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My sincere condolences. Memory Eternal.

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