I feel so lost. Three weeks ago I got a phone call that I will never forget. My mom had died. No one knew what happened. At the time, they thought she fell and hit her head. But in the end, it was a heart attack followed by a fall. I live very far away from her, but we spoke almost daily. She'd been feeling crappy/nauseas since at least Thanksgiving. I asked her to go to the doctor every time we spoke, but she "was fine". As I spoke with many of her friends, the week leading up to her heart attack, she wasn't fine. I am so sad, so confused, so angry. Why didn't she go to the doctor if she was not feeling well? Why didn't I know how sick she was? She and I had a very open and honest relationship...we had our struggles, we fought, we laughed, we cared deeply for eachother. I am so heartbroken. I cry every day. I miss her so much. I have so much guilt and sadness.
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." ~ Emo Philips
Me, DH, DS1, DS2, November 2012 , July 2013 , March 2014
Waiting on my SunshineBaby
Your mother seemed like a very strong women. Do not feel guilt....she probably knew it was time to go. I wish I had that type of relationship with my mother....to have a pleasant conversation with her every day. Think of what you had. Maybe she wanted to keep it up beat and positive with you when you talked.......to make that a lasting memory. Hold on to that.....
My heart and soul are with you,
Happy , delayed/selective vaxxing, WOHM to DD1 4/10 , DD2 8/12 and partner/wife for thirteen years to SAHD DH.
my daddy died suddenly of a heart attack 6 months ago. I didn't get to say goodbye, but he was at least here in town visiting so I did see him the night before. I miss him terribly. I am just beginning to deal with this... even though it has been 6 months and we had a memorial service, etc. It just didn't seem real until now.
I cry daily, too. ((HUGS))
I am so sorry for your loss....It leaves such a hole to lose a parent. I hope you have family and friends that you can look to for support. It makes it even harder that it was such a shock and possibly preventable if she had went to the drs You can't change what happened but you can remember all the fun you had with your mother. She would want you to do that Hang in there and be good to yourself you deserve it!!
i am so so sorry for your loss
|Grief And Loss|