Tonight, as I lay my girls down in their cribs to sleep, I know that no amount of monitoring or things I can do to prevent SIDS will calm my nerves. Today, they have arrived at the very age Charlie was when he died. 75 days old. He was so much bigger than they are- so much more plump. But he did all the same things: Smiled, mimicked tongue sticking out, sort of giggled, grabbed by hair, was beginning to reach out for things, and cooed all day long. He was just on the brink of being able to do so many things. These past few months have been really hard, but now as we enter the time in which the SIDS risks are the highest, all the last things we did together as a family before he died (Ada's birthday, Easter, April Fools), and as we approach the anniversary of his death I know that things are only bound to get harder before they start to get a little easier again.
Holly and David
Adaline (3/20/10), and Charlie (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)
Sweet little Charlie I am so, so sorry this happened to you and your family.
I read some of your blog, and your twins' birth story was just amazing. Congratulations on the hard work of delivering twins, and pain-med free at that! And, I'm glad they are well past 75 days old now! Take as much time as you need, and do whatever you need, to be able to get through each day. I hope you have nice people in your life who are supportive and understanding.
"Medical propaganda ops are, in the long run, the most dangerous. They appear to be neutral. They wave no political banners. They claim to be science. For these reasons, they can accomplish the goals of overt fascism without arousing suspicion.” — Jon Rappoport
i just want to send you a warm hug
|Grief And Loss|