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-   -   What to do for 3.5 year year old that just lost mom & almost lost little sister (http://www.mothering.com/forum/64-grief-loss/1383810-what-do-3-5-year-year-old-just-lost-mom-almost-lost-little-sister.html)

danube 05-20-2013 08:28 PM

Around midnight 3 days ago, my cousin was driving her almost 2 year old daughter, home from the emergency room. The girl a high fever and my cousin just wanted to make sure she was ok. On the way home, their van was hit head on by a drunk driver. My cousin was killed in the accident and the girl may be paralyzed from the neck down as a result. The girl's brother (3&1/2) and the dad (divorced) are left behind. Before this, the kids lived with the mom.
They live in the US, I live in Europe. What I can I do for the little boy from so far away? I also have a daughter almost 2 and I can't stop thinking about that little boy.


Viola 05-20-2013 10:17 PM

Oh wow, that is terrible.  I don't even know what to say, but I'm so sorry. brokenheart.gif


emilysmama 05-21-2013 08:22 AM

You must feel so helpless from so far away.

 

This might be something you can do.

 

When my father died suddenly, my husband and I were busy consoling my mother in the hospital.  We were overwhelmed because neither of us had never had to make funeral arrangements before, and we had no one locally to call around the local funeral homes.  We had to tell the hospital which funeral home to send my father's body, and had no idea where to start.

 

My sister, bless her, from the other side of the U.S, looked up the funeral local funeral homes on the internet.  Then she called each of funeral home and talked to each funeral home and got preliminary information and prices.  After discussion with us, still in the hospital, she made the decision of which funeral home to send my father's body and got the ball rolling. It's amazing how much she was able to accomplish from so far away.

 

This was a huge help to me, and enabled me to comfort my daughter.

 

I know that you want to do something directly for the 3.5 year old, but something like this would help him indirectly.


unuselyriver 05-21-2013 01:17 PM

oh i just want to say i am so sorry


tremieli 05-23-2013 12:31 PM

How horrible.  I'm so sorry to hear this.  When an acquaintance of mine died leaving a 2 year old and a 4 year old, her sister made quilts out of her clothes for them to sleep with.  Maybe something like that would help?


barefootmama0709 05-23-2013 07:14 PM

When my son's brother died, he was given one of these special doggies by our local family center: http://shop.pillowchums.com/ORION-ST9919B.htm

It's called a Starshine Watch Dog. It's originally for children who are afraid of the dark, but he finds it comforting when he's having anxiety and fear at night. 


kblackstone444 05-23-2013 09:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tremieli View Post

How horrible.  I'm so sorry to hear this.  When an acquaintance of mine died leaving a 2 year old and a 4 year old, her sister made quilts out of her clothes for them to sleep with.  Maybe something like that would help?

 

That's such a beautiful idea.


cyclamen 05-25-2013 09:34 PM

I am so sorry to hear this.  My heart goes out to your family and the two kids and their father.

 

If you have any pictures of your cousin and her family, maybe you can put together a photo book for the little boy?  You can make a photo book that is pretty sturdy and is an actual book for fairly cheap through sites like snapfish, that way he could have a book that is his with pictures of his mom and his family that he can look at any time he wants.  


danube 05-25-2013 10:26 PM

Thank you for all the good ideas. The funeral already happened (closed casket because Mom was in such bad shape) and I'm waiting to get an update on the boy to see how he is doing in case there are any specific issues.

Poor little guy just started sleeping through the night in his big kid underwear a week before the accident.
 



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