Hubby lost both parents within 2 years - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 01-06-2014, 02:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My husband has lost both his parents to cancer within 2 years. His father passed away just over 2 years ago now and his mother was diagnosed in April, treatment didn't work for her and we lost her in Semptember.

Our family is struggling, we have a 7yo and a 1yo both boys. We are also dealing with custody issues for our 7yo who is my hubby's from a previous relationship. Im struggling trying to be supportive for him while he's grieving and trying to hold our family together whilst dealing with the custody stuff as well.

I can't get him to talk to me about it and how he's feeling, some days he's fine and others it's like he's itching for a fight or just really down. The last time we spoke about it he agreed to start grief counselling but I've had no luck getting him to actually go through with it.

Not sure what to do? Do I push him to either talk to me or organise counselling or do I just leave it and hope that time helps?
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#2 of 3 Old 01-11-2014, 06:37 AM
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Hi tiredmummabear. Welcome to Mothering. :)

 

I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through this. I can feel your concern and all the other issues certainly weigh heavy on you and him. 

 

Have you heard of the Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross? You can read about it here. She has a couple of books on the topic, which might help you to understand what your husband is going through and how you can move through it with him in a supportive way. Or, if he is the type to read it might be a good gift for him.

 

On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss

On Life after Death

 

Hope this helps. :hug


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#3 of 3 Old 01-20-2014, 01:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you I will definitely have read, willing to try anything at this point!

Things have been a little better lately so fingers crossed. 7yo went to mothers for xmas holidays and we had couple opportunities for couple time and a some good talks so feeling a little better about it. Think he realised how worried and concerned I've been and he opened up a bit about it.
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