Join Date: Nov 2001
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My dad commited suiside in January 2000. Last year was my first fathers day without him, but I was still so close in my greif that I didn't really relate to him not being here.
This year has been very odd. The realization that he's not a part of my life, that we'll never work out our differences, that he'll never accept me and that I'll never understand him, or why he chose to take his life is really hitting me hard.
I guess I'll just light a candle and warm the room with a glow to remind me of a man who was so complex. To remind me to be open with thoes I care about and not shut my feelings inside as he did.
It just makes me sad - my father was someone that people LOVED to be around. Always fun and full of interesting conversation - it just makes me so sad that he never had anybody who truely understood him or knew his deep dark secrets.
Thanks for listening...