My son took his life and I found his letter this weekend: - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-08-2004, 01:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well Chris got an infection shortly after they replaced the strips and thankfully he has overcome the infection and they expect him to be released from the hospital within a week. They just moved him from ICU this morning so that is very good. I've been with him the whole time not really knowing if he would make it but he did. But he won't be allowed to fly home for at least a couple weeks after they release him from the hospital but at least he will be going home. I swear the meds they are giving him are more than my meds and I'm taking kidney rejection meds. He didn't even have a transplant and he has more than I do for crying out load. Trying to keep track of both of our meds will be lets just say fun.

I want to thank you all for your support and praying because it seems that it worked very good for Chris these last few weeks.
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Old 10-08-2004, 03:42 PM
 
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SeaClearly~

I can't believe what you've been through, but at the same time it's all strangely familiar. My own sons were born with a genetic condition we'd never heard of, and I remember their first several months were a maze of hospital rooms, tests, tubes, and awful expereiences. The thing is, they were healthy kids! It was just all the horrible things we had to do to try and stop the seizures-- injections that made them miserable, medicines that turned them into zombies, and even (this February) brain surgery.

Whenever we're back in the hospital/sugergy situation, I try to keep this in mind: "it's not how fast you get there, IT'S THE GETTING THERE that counts." Please keep in mind, if it helps you, that these months will pass in a blur, and that a couple of months, or even a year down the road, life will be back to some kind of normal.

When I look at my sons now, the hospital and health worries rarely even come to mind. They're just happy boys. They'll always have challenges, and medicines, true, but for them life will be open and (for the most part) happy like any other kid's. I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be on this side of all that medical stuff (the side where it's OVER ), and I wish that for you and your family soon. It _will_ happen.

Blessings for you and your family.

RedOak ~ Momma to DS (8) , DS (4) , DD (3) , & DD 9/10 ~
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Old 10-09-2004, 05:42 AM
 
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Seaclearly, my heart goes out to you and your family.

It is amazing sometimes how one can go through an illness for so long and not know it. I hope that now that they know what is wrong and he has had surgery that there will be an improvement in his health.


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Old 10-12-2004, 11:23 PM
 
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I am very sorry for your loss and although I cant find the words, I wanted to give you a hug.
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Old 10-21-2004, 06:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaClearly2004
I feel like I failed him badly. I just can't see what I did wrong.

I just can't stop thinking that I just overlooked every hint he could have tried to give me because I thought that this NASA thing would change everything. .
You didn't fail him and you did nothing wrong. One of the steps of grieving is blaming yourself and trying to figure out what you could had done differently. When my son was killed I kept thinking what if. It is the what ifs that will drive you nuts. I wish I could reach over and give you a big hug right now.
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Old 10-22-2004, 02:58 AM
 
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Dear SeaClearly,

I'm so sorry. I've been reading along and praying for you and your family.

I would second what one poster said about Hospice. I've been on both sides of their bereavement help ... supporting and receiving. I hope you can find some time to take care of yourself.

My youngest son has compromised health and lung issues. He's had some hospitalizations. It's stressful and almost manic being a parent in a hospital -- or it was for me.

One thing I always think about is that it's important to make our life each day. Some days, the most we might be able to do is quench a thirst. On other days, we might be able to share a laugh or notice a leaf. Small things make us human. You are doing so much to hold your family together. I cry when I read your story; but you give me hope.

teastaigh

mom to ds (age 7) and ds (age 4) and
always and forever, my
9/9/2000; 9/23/2002
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Old 10-22-2004, 01:02 PM
 
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I'm so sorry you all are having to go through this. My thoughts are with you.
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Old 11-02-2004, 03:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well things are going very well and he won't afterall have to take meds for the rest of his life but just for the next several months. We will be going home sometime this week but we do have to call the airline because the doctors will require that he have oxygen while in the air and its harder now with all the 9/11 stuff for an airline to allow a needle on the aircraft because they also want him on light sedatives while in the air as well so its easier to breath if he gets too excited. The doctors also said to buy two seats for him plus my seat all in one row so he could sleep because he will want to sleep. The hardest part is to give the injection after we are in the air as far as the airline is concerned. But we will have someone on the flight that will do this and make sure everything goes as planned.

Just for my comfort does this all sound normal. Now he will have an IV in his chest so in the rare case that things do go bad they can give him meds that this nurse will have with him as well as breathing tubes they can use until the plane lands. The hospital is setting all this up for us but they say its all just in case stuff and that in over 95% of transports everything goes well.

But Chris is doing very well now and as another poster said its very hard dealing with hospital stuff all the time and I do understand what my son is going through because I did go through all of this as a preteen getting my kidney transplant. I was lucky enough to get a kidney when I was 14 years old from my uncle and I treat life everyday as a gift and most people will never see life the way I do unless it was almost taken away from them. My son will understand this in ten years or so. Its hard because its like going through my transplant all over again.

My wife is quite a bit more upbeat and even though she does miss our oldest son now passed away she now understands what she has left with her that she almost lost. I've been talking with her for the last weeks and she has gotten a real eye opener that was hard for all of us. As hard as this is to say this whole ordeal clearly opened our eyes to what we all have left and that is simply the best years of our lives including our sons life that for once seems like it will be free from sickness. He still has asthma but can now be controlled very very well with low dose meds and his teen years are looking very different for him and he doesn't quite see it but its going to be very fun for him to not have to sit out during activities anymore.

Things are starting to look up right now and all I have to say is its about frickin time it did. Long overdue I might add but at least its sooner rather than later or should I say at least it happened and its going to be never. Good days are coming and thats all we all have to think about and that is a good thing to remember when we all wake up.
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Old 11-05-2004, 02:12 AM
 
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I am glad to hear that things are looking up for you. I think of your family and you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Emilie
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Old 11-05-2004, 07:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just got home tonight and things went very well. I'm just very tired now and people don't quite understand that having all the people on the plane saying how sad and hard it must be for me and this and that. I think over half of the people must have come over and said something. Granted they are trying to be nice but enough is enough.

Now add to this list that my son got a little upset when the nurse had to pull his pants partway down to give him the injection and being a preteen or just teen boy that was a fight. Now add that once the plane was getting close to landing he didn't want to get up and put his seat belt on so that was a chore to get him to do that. Granted he never yelled or acted out but was for the most part a pain. It ended up they tried to put us on a flight they thought would have less people on it being in the middle of the night and it ended up being nearly packed so that shocked me quite a bit.

But I'm back in Boston now and my wife should be on a flight this morning.
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