((((Jerome John Hellman)))) Beloved Papa. - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 108 Old 05-22-2005, 03:57 AM
 
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I do this all the time too, it is so hard to remember that my dad is gone. About a month ago I almost called him to ask for directions, he was always the one I called when I got lost since he's in real estate and knows his way around everywhere. And then the other day I was telling my mom about something new dd2 was doing and I expected her to say, "Wait until I tell dad, he'll get a kick out of that." Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
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#92 of 108 Old 06-10-2005, 02:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Shershine. I am terribly sorry that you lost your Dad.

Day after tomarrow is his birthday & I think I am going to freak out. I miss him so much.

**Happy Birthday Papa!!**
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#93 of 108 Old 07-25-2005, 02:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I spent my first birthday in 32 years without my Papa. When will my heart quit aching?

I love you Papa.
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#94 of 108 Old 07-25-2005, 02:40 AM
 
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I lost my Father the day before the 2000 election. We always sparred amicably about politics; I felt as if he should call me and give me his two cents on the matter, but of course, he did not.

I had set up an answering machine with his voice on it. I called it many times to just hear his voice. So comforting. He was so happy I helped him learn how to use that new "contraption".

Silently, I have missed him at Thanksgiving and July 4th celebrations. My children were able to have a relationship with him, which I felt was nice.

Your heart will always have a place for him; nurture his memory with love.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#95 of 108 Old 07-25-2005, 02:54 AM
 
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Rachelle,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious Papa. I lost my own Papa exactly a year ago today. I'm so sorry you have to be without him. You are in my prayers, and I hope you find peace soon. You and your family are in my thoughts.
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#96 of 108 Old 07-25-2005, 08:51 PM
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I miss him so much. I have never went this long in my entire life without talking to him.

I don't even know you at all, and yet I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face, searching for words. I'm sad for your sorrow but profoundly moved by the love that you have for your Papa and for all that he means to you.
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#97 of 108 Old 07-26-2005, 10:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you ladies... I feel blessed to have your good thoughts. You make my heart smile.
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#98 of 108 Old 07-27-2005, 11:18 PM
 
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Yes to you. I miss my mother all the time. Life is so, so hard sometimes but we have to keep living it like we mean it - regardless.

You can get through this.
I can too.

We have to just keep going. That's all.

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#99 of 108 Old 08-13-2005, 08:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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((((Loved))))

Im so sorry you lost your Mama.


I swear it never seems to get better... I had a horrible night a few days ago, I cried until my eyes were swollen shut, I had snot running out my nose, I was shaking uncontrollably. I think I may be about to have a nervous breakdown.
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#100 of 108 Old 08-17-2005, 12:20 PM
 
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Hugs to you Rachel. I am feeling something of the same. It doesn't get better or easier. I had a bad week last week and ended up driving out to the country in the dead of night on Thursday so no-one could hear me wailing. I feel bad for my dh because he knows he can't help me. But I feel worse for myself which I sometimes feel is selfish and indulgent but I can't help it.

Thinking of you
Rachel too.
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#101 of 108 Old 08-17-2005, 02:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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((((Orangefoot))))

Sending you all my love & strength... (it's not much but I'll share what I got.)
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#102 of 108 Old 08-19-2005, 10:23 AM
 
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Thank you.
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#103 of 108 Old 09-09-2005, 11:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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As usual, my grief overwhelms me at night. I start to get hysterical, I hold it inside so I don't scare my Son or Husband, I feel like I will throw up & like I need to punch myself or bang my head on the wall so that pain will override the pain in my heart. Please don't think Im nuts when I say that... right after my Son Carson died, I banged my head on the wall & hit myself to try & make the pain go away. It didn't work (Obviously) & my Doc put me on tranquilizers. I wont hurt myself, I promise but It would feel better to have a different kind of pain.

Thanks for reading my 6 pages of ramblings...

Love - R
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#104 of 108 Old 09-10-2005, 01:55 AM
 
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Huge hugs to you mama, your Papa sounds like a wonderful man. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I will be praying that God gives your heart peace tonight and every night
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#105 of 108 Old 09-29-2005, 02:42 PM
 
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Hope you're doing okay today, mama. The nights really are the worst, aren't they? I am in the throes of grief too, and sometimes it really does feel good to just bang on something really hard. I've been there.
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#106 of 108 Old 10-20-2005, 11:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Mamas...as usual you make my heart smile.

It gets a little better everyday, I have moments where I think to myself... "Oh, I gotta tell Papa that," or similar thoughts & it's awful feeling, to realize I can't tell him a damn thing, that I can't call him up & hear him blow me a kiss & tell me, Love you Shell. Ugh.

I love you Papa!
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#107 of 108 Old 10-21-2005, 01:22 AM
 
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Yep me too, with my mother. Sometimes I look at her pictures and I simply can't believe it all over again, that I won't ever see her again. It hurts like hell.
I miss her more than words can say.
I hear you fully.

That's death for ya'. We just don't know how to grasp it.
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#108 of 108 Old 01-11-2006, 03:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It's been almost a year, just 2 weeks away & I feel the anger & the pain coming on. I miss you so much Papa. I feel broke & twisted & useless...

I You Papa.
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