My grandmother is dying - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-25-2005, 02:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My grandma is dying from cancer. She is now in a coma state.
She is my dad's mother.
They put her at a assited living center a few months ago( maybe 2)
Her two daughters have decided that they are not going to have an "around the clock vigil"- and stop in to see her a few times a day.... the rest of the time they are writing up ubsurd obituaries and gathering pictures for her memorial service.
My mom and dad do not agree with this- and my dad is staying up there- but not trying to cause an argument- so he is still going to have wine and cheese with them- and go out to dinner- etc.....
Why do people have to act so cold? They are very active in their church- and try to act like they are all high and mighty- but yet they just leave her there to die.
I know it is hard and you need a break- but with spouses there are 6 children- they should be at least trying to be with her most of the time...
not making a conscience decision to ignore her.
Sorry- had to vent.
Emilie
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Old 03-25-2005, 02:14 AM
 
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Emilie~

I'm so sorry, I remember when you came here a few months ago and shared what was going on with your Grandma. It can be so difficult to because everybody can grieve so differently and sometimes, IMHO, people put up "walls" so that they don't have to see or feel what is happening. Reality can be so deeply painful and so having these "walls" up, can be safe for them. I don't know if that is what is going on in your family right now or not, but for someone who is feeling in the present, its hard to stand by and watch.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

Much Love~

Lisa

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Old 03-25-2005, 11:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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She past sometime early this morning from what we can tell.
Thank you for your thoughts.
Emilie
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Old 03-25-2005, 01:00 PM
 
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Emilie~

Sending you strength and love to get through this next week and in the weeks to come.

Hugs~

Lisa

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Old 03-25-2005, 02:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you very much...
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Old 03-25-2005, 03:06 PM
 
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Emilie- I'm sorry for your loss. I was blessed to have my grandmother living till I was in my late thirties, and I still sometimes miss her. Grieve in your own way, and let your family grieve in theirs. Try to comfort each other.
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Old 03-26-2005, 06:20 PM
 
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Emilie~

Just wanted to check in with you. I'm thinking of you

Hugs~

Lisa

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Old 03-26-2005, 06:24 PM
 
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Old 03-27-2005, 12:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all. We are having Easter today- with the other side of the family.
The services will be Tuesday.
emilie
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Old 03-27-2005, 02:53 PM
 
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Sending you all my love Mama...
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Old 03-28-2005, 12:32 AM
 
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Emilie, thinking of you and your gramdmother. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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