my husband is gone - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 61 Old 05-28-2006, 08:37 PM - Thread Starter
Banned
 
rosaliecolumba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am not sure if this belongs here.
It is both grief and loss.

Yesterday am dh dropped ds and I off at my mothers yard sale.
He said he'd be back at 12 to pick us up...we'd go yardsaling.
123o rolls around, I call his cell...it says, this # is no longer a working #.
I thought that was weird.
So, ds 19 months and I get a ride back to our house.
He took all of his clothing, his whole book shelf...but, not all his books...
some posters but, not all his pictures...he didn't take his pillow or favorite blanket.
????????????????????
I am in SHOCK!
Not even a note or any money.
And the rent is due...
Friday night he held me all night, tight...and made love to me.
We went out to eat with ds & had a fun time, joking ect.

I am deistated.
Why WOULD HE DO THIS?
How could he leave ds?
ds calls him daddy and right now he keeps saying it.

I am having a nervous breakdown.
I am a sahm.
WHY?
rosaliecolumba is offline  
#2 of 61 Old 05-28-2006, 08:46 PM
 
newmainer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: midcoast Maine
Posts: 1,582
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow... i am so sorry. i hope that you get the support you need...hugs to you.

I am a homeopath, offering acute and constitutional consultations for children, babies, and parents. Long-distance treatment is easy, either phone or skype! I also am certified to offer Homeoprophylaxis, a vaccine-alternative program. Message me for more details. www.concentrichealing.com
newmainer is offline  
#3 of 61 Old 05-28-2006, 08:47 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,599
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#4 of 61 Old 05-28-2006, 08:52 PM
 
Rowan Tree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Astoria, Oregon
Posts: 352
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I can't imagine the shock you must be feeling...please don't hesitate to ask for more support from me or any other MDC mama.
Rowan Tree is offline  
#5 of 61 Old 05-28-2006, 09:44 PM
 
Mama8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: UT
Posts: 494
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Mama8 is offline  
#6 of 61 Old 05-28-2006, 09:57 PM
 
BabyBumblebee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: under a shedding maple tree
Posts: 1,672
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OMG mama, I am so sorry - I can't even imagine the pain that you are going through.

BabyBumblebee is offline  
#7 of 61 Old 05-28-2006, 09:58 PM
 
zipworth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 1,243
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


That is so scary....I am so sorry you are going through this.
zipworth is offline  
#8 of 61 Old 05-28-2006, 10:31 PM
 
fierymyst's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 231
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My thoughts and prayers are with you
fierymyst is offline  
#9 of 61 Old 05-28-2006, 10:36 PM
 
chrissy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: north carolina
Posts: 5,770
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
what an awful thing for him to do! i am so sorry mama. you and your ds are in my prayers.

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
chrissy is offline  
#10 of 61 Old 05-29-2006, 02:19 PM - Thread Starter
Banned
 
rosaliecolumba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am so devestated.....
I feel like selling what is mine and leaving.
I can't stay in that house.
It seems so lonely!
Doesn't he even want to see the baby grow up?
I don't understand.
rosaliecolumba is offline  
#11 of 61 Old 05-29-2006, 04:08 PM
EVC
 
EVC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 4,516
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

PhDin' mama to dd (Oct. 2005)
EVC is offline  
#12 of 61 Old 05-29-2006, 04:11 PM
 
Bartock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,848
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm so sorry that happened!!! I hope he will get a hold of you and you guys can figure things out
Bartock is offline  
#13 of 61 Old 05-29-2006, 04:14 PM
 
jaye's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 889
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That's terrible! Does he have a job or relatives around so you can at least find out what's going on and get some financial support??

Good luck to you and your little one.
jaye is offline  
#14 of 61 Old 05-29-2006, 09:47 PM - Thread Starter
Banned
 
rosaliecolumba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
he is an electrition.
I will call there in the morning, see if he showed up.
thanks for the hugs

do you think I need a lawyer?
I don't know where he is but, doesn't he owe me child support and alimony?
rosaliecolumba is offline  
#15 of 61 Old 05-30-2006, 11:59 PM
 
Unoppressed MAMA Q's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Exactly Where I'm At
Posts: 1,942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
wow. yes mama, even if he freaks out and can't do this anymore, he is legally required to financially support his child.

i truly hope you will have great amounts of real life support.
Unoppressed MAMA Q is offline  
#16 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 02:34 AM
 
mandib50's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: my own reality
Posts: 4,860
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
oh mama i am terribly sorry. yes, find a lawyer and see what you can get for financial support.

you will be able to do this and you will be able to get through this. you may never understand why he did this but i know you will find peace in the future.


Midwifery student , Mama to my 4 amazing kids. treehugger.gif

mandib50 is offline  
#17 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 11:51 AM
 
crissei's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Ferrum, Virginia
Posts: 1,863
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What a horrible shock, I'm so sorry!
I hope you get some answers and, find some peace.
crissei is offline  
#18 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 12:33 PM
 
kat85's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: South
Posts: 508
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, you can get support but if you don't have funds for a lawyer try to contact Legal Aid service in your area for help.(they help pro bono).

I will keep you in thought and prays....he probably don't deserve you anyway. This is a sad day for you but each day that goes by it get mor happier and better, that he become almost forgotten to you.
kat85 is offline  
#19 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 04:57 PM
 
rainbowmoon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Vermont
Posts: 11,138
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry mama.

yes I definitly think you need a lawyer! ASAP!

Blissful Mama to DD-(5), DS-(6) and someone new due in November!
rainbowmoon is offline  
#20 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 05:08 PM
 
stiles' mummy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 688
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Momma, I'm so, so sorry this happened to you and ds. Could Dh be having an emotional breakdown? Is he depressed? Any legal reasons why he skipped out??

I hope you have friends/family IRL who can give you support at this time. Please be strong for your ds. My thoughts are with you. Please keep us posted.
stiles' mummy is offline  
#21 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 06:29 PM - Thread Starter
Banned
 
rosaliecolumba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
he never showed at his job tuesday.........
his friends have been calling...........
no one knows where he is..........
he also must've taken the $3000 income tax return.........
tomorrow i am going to welfare......
today i sold his speakers and pellet gun...only made $20...
but, it helps...
i am devistated
yes, i do think he had a breakdown and lost his mind.
rosaliecolumba is offline  
#22 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 06:37 PM
 
babibelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Colorado....
Posts: 694
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
s to you mama. I'm so sorry.

RN, Tree-huggin, chicken-raisin'chicken3.gif, mountain climbing, yoga attempting namaste.gif Mama to Miss Areading.gif (10) and Miss K joy.gif(8). Newly re-married wife to DHpartners.gif We're pregnant!!belly.gifExpecting our new little addition this November!
 

 

babibelli is offline  
#23 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 06:59 PM
 
ollineeba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Doing better than I deserve..
Posts: 5,549
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through..
has he contacted his parents or other family?

I can't believe he left you guys with no money or anything..
I don't know where you live, but please let us know if you need anything..

~e, wife to my sweet T partners.gif, mama to my turtleman (8) , sunshine (6 vbac.gif), and monkey (2)
ollineeba is offline  
#24 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 09:50 PM
 
lisamarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In Latte Land
Posts: 5,544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't even know what to say. I am saddened and in disbelief. Know that he must be in such a dark hole right now and obviously, he doesn't see that there can be light in such darkness.

Contact his parents, WIC, the bank, your church/temple (if you have one) and explain your situation. I hope friends, family and your community can help. Please know that we are here for you to listen and support you.

Much Love & Hugs~

Lisa

Lisa, Todd, Dane and Amber: & :::
lisamarie is offline  
#25 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 10:12 PM
 
cfiddlinmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Gestating My Rainbow Baby GIRL!
Posts: 1,828
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My prayers are with you - for you & your babe

so sorry for you....
cfiddlinmama is offline  
#26 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 10:15 PM
 
alexsam's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,276
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Are you sure he's ok and not in danger or in need of help? Of course, it doesn't make what happened to you any better, but it sounds.. weird? Scary? Something more? If he left you straight out- just abandoned- that's one thing (and totally his fault!), but it sounds more like... he's in trouble or maybe in need of help...?
alexsam is offline  
#27 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 10:25 PM
 
BinahYeteirah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, it all sounds very strange. mama. I hope you reach out and get all the help you need. I am sure there are people here who can help point you in the right direction, if you aren't sure where to turn. Maybe there is someone local to you here. I am in Australia, so I don't think that helps much.

I hope this all get straightened out soon, and that your dh is okay, even if he willfully left. Stay strong.
BinahYeteirah is offline  
#28 of 61 Old 05-31-2006, 10:41 PM
 
littlemama06's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 656
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am so sorry,i bet you are just freaking! See if there are any MDC moms near you that could give you some support.What about family, do you have any close by?Hugs to you and your little boy.
Kaitlin
littlemama06 is offline  
#29 of 61 Old 06-01-2006, 12:16 AM
 
mysticmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Baltimore
Posts: 6,183
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I couldn't read and not respond. If you were near me (in MD) we'd be taking care of you now. We dont' have much, but it takes a village, right? Please find your tribe here and see who can help. Where are you located? Maybe I can help you find resources.
T:

And.. I feel like doing this:
: :ignore : : : : : : : :

Hope you feel better and get some answers soon.
T:

hh2.gif

mysticmomma is offline  
#30 of 61 Old 06-01-2006, 11:14 AM
 
MamaHippo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,532
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Lots of for you and your son. I will be : : for you.
MamaHippo is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off