Writing an Obituary for your child.... - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 44 Old 10-07-2006, 02:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
aslmere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
How do I do it????

We were supposed to have it in by 3pm today.
That didn't happen.
Tom and I are having a really really hard time doing this... I don't even know where to begin.
We were looking online for obituary writing help, but none of it is specific for a child.
We need to have this in tomorrow for printing on Monday since the funeral is on Wednesday.

What do I do?? This is hard enough without having to put their short life in writing to be published in the paper.

Today we picked out a plot. We picked one in front of a tree.....Lianne really loves trees. And we picked out the stone, but not the engraving... couldn't do that yet. The stone is sparkly and shiny...like Lianne and Finn.

I love them and miss them so much.

Nina
aslmere is offline  
#2 of 44 Old 10-07-2006, 02:30 AM
rn
 
rn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: with you
Posts: 577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am so very sorry for your loss.

I wish I had an answer for you to help you with the obituary, but I am at a loss.
It took me a year to figure out what I wanted on my son's monument. My only advice to you is to take your time and listen to your heart.

Just remember your children love you and they know your love for them is endless.

again, I am so sorry.
rn is offline  
#3 of 44 Old 10-07-2006, 01:45 PM
 
naturallia's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 274
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I never got around to writing an obituary and ended up letting the newspaper write the basic facts for obit. I'm very sorry for your loss. Does the newspaper allow picture obits? Perhaps a favorite picture and a bible verse or a quote you love.
naturallia is offline  
#4 of 44 Old 10-07-2006, 02:09 PM
Banned
 
2Sweeties1Angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Missouri
Posts: 3,158
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didn't write my son's obituary. The funeral director was an old family friend and he took care of it for me because I was in no condition to do it myself. I supplied basic facts and the photo, but he did everything else. My Grandma ended up picking out his headstone because I couldn't do that either. I was a wreck.
2Sweeties1Angel is offline  
#5 of 44 Old 10-07-2006, 09:58 PM
 
catholicmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Front Royal, VA
Posts: 542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am so sorry.
catholicmama is offline  
#6 of 44 Old 10-08-2006, 12:48 PM
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,000
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Couldn't read without posting.

I am so sorry Nina. I can't imagine what its like to be in your shoes.

many, many s
monocyte is offline  
#7 of 44 Old 10-08-2006, 03:30 PM
 
rachelle-a-tron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 4,291
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love you Nina, call me, I wrote Carsons & my Papas, I can help you.

xoxo
rachelle-a-tron is offline  
#8 of 44 Old 10-08-2006, 03:51 PM
 
RedFlyGrrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Clarksville, TN
Posts: 6
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am so sorry for your loss, Nina. The only advice I can offer is to keep it simple...
RedFlyGrrrl is offline  
#9 of 44 Old 10-09-2006, 03:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
aslmere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I decided to let the funeral director do it. If it is going to appear in the paper before the funeral than it has to be done tomorrow morning. I can't.

Today was really hard day. I tried to go to my mom's house for a family dinner. I left Tom at home with Conor.
I walked in the door and started bawling. We lived with my mom for 10 months before moving into this house in August and so I had way more memories there. Not to mention all the holidays and everything from before we lived there. I couldn't stay and locked myself in the bathroom and called Tom sobbing.
He called my brother and they took me home. I am doing better now but it will be some time before I am able to go to my mom's house again.

She is actually mad at me for it because that means that she will have to drive across town to see me....


Nina
aslmere is offline  
#10 of 44 Old 10-09-2006, 04:13 AM
 
mamaverdi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 12,872
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
mamaverdi is offline  
#11 of 44 Old 10-09-2006, 06:14 AM
 
BinahYeteirah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
BinahYeteirah is offline  
#12 of 44 Old 10-09-2006, 12:04 PM
 
rachelle-a-tron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 4,291
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I love you Nina...
rachelle-a-tron is offline  
#13 of 44 Old 10-09-2006, 12:21 PM
 
mamamoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Eastern WA
Posts: 12,722
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Nina,
I am so sorry it was such a hard night. I wish that people could put their own feelings aside when you are obviously going through something so much worse. My heart is with you. I love you. Please know that you are fine, there is no reason anyone should expect you to do anything you don't want to do.

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
mamamoo is offline  
#14 of 44 Old 10-09-2006, 01:04 PM
 
Isaacs_mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Cali
Posts: 1,245
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just wanted to send

I have read a few posts about your loss and wanted to let you know I am thinking of you ( I know that you do not know me but I am sending prayers up for you )
Isaacs_mom is offline  
#15 of 44 Old 10-10-2006, 03:12 PM
 
Kaitnbugsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,997
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
More hugs & prayers for you and your family Nina
Kaitnbugsmom is offline  
#16 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 01:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
aslmere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 594
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I feel cheated:

NELSON, Lianne E. (Age 5)
NELSON, Finnerty E. (Age 16 Months)

Went to be with the Lord on September 12th, 2006. Funeral service will be held on Wednesday, October 11th, 2006 at 1:00 PM at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints 1620 E. 29th Street Spokane, Washington. Interment will be held at Holy Cross Cemetery. RIPLINGER FUNERAL HOME 4305 N. DIVISION SPOKANE, WA entrusted with arrangements


That was the entire obituary for both of my precious children.

aslmere is offline  
#17 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 01:42 AM
 
Threefold's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Trying to get back into my body
Posts: 3,091
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


I'm so sorry.
Threefold is offline  
#18 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 01:45 AM
 
AngelBee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Brighton, MN
Posts: 20,388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

AngelBee is offline  
#19 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 01:46 AM
 
AngelBee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Brighton, MN
Posts: 20,388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My heart is breaking for you...

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

AngelBee is offline  
#20 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 01:54 AM
 
christinadanielle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Suffolk, VA
Posts: 52
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
this thread made me cry. i am so sorry nina. i will keep your family in my prayers.
christinadanielle is offline  
#21 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 02:16 AM
 
Cutie Patootie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Pittsburgh Area
Posts: 4,935
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by aslmere View Post
I feel cheated:

NELSON, Lianne E. (Age 5)
NELSON, Finnerty E. (Age 16 Months)

Went to be with the Lord on September 12th, 2006. Funeral service will be held on Wednesday, October 11th, 2006 at 1:00 PM at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints 1620 E. 29th Street Spokane, Washington. Interment will be held at Holy Cross Cemetery. RIPLINGER FUNERAL HOME 4305 N. DIVISION SPOKANE, WA entrusted with arrangements


That was the entire obituary for both of my precious children.

Oh Nina, I am so very sorry. No words could have expressed the light your little ones brought to you, your family and this world.

Tina ~ SAHcarrot.gif- head Mama to - 

  DS blowkiss.gif(07/'03), DD energy.gif(05'05), DS, unplanned UC sleepytime.gif(01/'09), DD joy.gif(06/'11) ...

SURPRISE!  dizzy.gifNew little one, due Sept. 2013

Cutie Patootie is offline  
#22 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 02:35 AM
 
*Erin*'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: in a magnolia tree
Posts: 2,489
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i'm so very sorry for your loss, mama.
xoxoxo

Erin, 33, salty southern mama, sitting by the sea with my DH35, DD10, DS4, &DD2!
*Erin* is offline  
#23 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 02:50 AM
 
Blu Razzberri's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,743
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh Nina! I know you don't know me, but I wish I could hug you in person. I'm so sorry things are working out this way while you're having to go through so much! You need to focus on Connor and not worry about what your mother is thinking/saying right now. Lean on your husband and be there for him to lean on you. Together, you'll pull through this for Connor's sake; and for him, you and DH need to stand together and be his rock!

As far as the obituary goes; for heaven's sake, don't beat yourself up over it! You're grieving and you don't have the mindset to say what you really want to say; and you know what? That's OKAY. The funeral is far more important, because it's THERE that you celebrate their lives and share what they brought to your family. You'll be sharing it with people who feel the same way. The obituary was very formal, but I know if I read it in my paper, my heart would break. It doesn't matter what's said, the point is there. For their memorial write-up, you'll have more to say and more time to think about it.

I'm so sorry these things are all happening to you! Keep your head up as best as you can, and as always, if you need to talk, I'm here for you!

~Vanessa~

WARNING: The comments and opinions expressed above do not necessarily reflect those of the community in which I reside; or those of the internet parenting network.
Blu Razzberri is offline  
#24 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 12:15 PM
 
merrybee's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 658
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am praying for you and your family. :

Finn
Lianne
merrybee is offline  
#25 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 12:17 PM
 
Mackenzie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: wandering...
Posts: 2,875
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

This is a tree on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing instead of the whole world. *
Mackenzie is offline  
#26 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 02:27 PM
 
Oka-san's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Cultivating my potato garden
Posts: 754
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

"Mama, thank you for my little brother!" DD 7/05 DS 6/09
Oka-san is offline  
#27 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 09:09 PM
Banned
 
MillingNome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: hunting in Gilead
Posts: 6,399
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ok, so the obit got in and done. Not that great but enough to let people know when the funeral is. I remember when my best friend's baby died of SIDS, the same thing happened to her. One month after he died, she sent in a memorial. They are usually posted after the obits. In it she said everything she wanted to about her ds and his light. It was very good for her soul. Maybe that is something you could think of doing?

MillingNome is offline  
#28 of 44 Old 10-11-2006, 09:13 PM
 
Bartock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,848
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So sorry mama, since it is causing you to much pain, can't another family member do it for you?
Bartock is offline  
#29 of 44 Old 10-12-2006, 12:17 AM
 
rachelle-a-tron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 4,291
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I called Nina last night & offered to write a Memorial for Lianne & Finn.

I will work on it ASAP Nina... I love you very much.
rachelle-a-tron is offline  
#30 of 44 Old 10-12-2006, 01:12 AM
 
TigerTail's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: I'm finally here!
Posts: 9,343
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Praying for all of you. I'm so sorry. Of course you couldn't write it, who could do anything under these circumstances?
TigerTail is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off