My best friend died - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 12-10-2006, 09:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We have been friends for 29 years. I met her through my DHs work when DH and I first married.

We were friends through her divorce from her first husband, the death of her second husband and through her third and fourth husbands.

We were friends through the birth of her third child. We were both pregnant with our third children at the same time. What fun!

She was a kosher caterer, although she never catered an affair for me. We would go to the Food Show at the Los Angeles Convention Center every other year. She was honored every time as a sucessful businesswoman. Kishke was her specialty. She did a short film for the Food Channel; it was about making chicken soup and matzo balls.

We shared BBQs, weekends, graduations, bar mitzvahs, weddings, births, deaths, stories, movies, and helped each other. I alway knew who to call.

She did not outlive her father who died at age 59. Her mother is 81 and her grandmother died recently at 101.

She was diagnosed in February with a brain tumor and Hodgekin's Lymphoma. She was already blind in one eye from macular degeneration.

She has now gone on to her reward. She was 58.

Rest in Peace. You are missed.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#2 of 23 Old 12-10-2006, 09:58 PM
 
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How lucky you both were to have such a long and strong friendship. I'm so sorry for your loss.

--
Let your life speak. -- George Fox
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#3 of 23 Old 12-10-2006, 09:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have lost my Aunt, Father, my Husband and now my Best Friend in the last five years. I feel blessed to have known these people, but there is no one to take their place.

I feel like somehow I did something to kill those closest to me.

I feel like a pariah. I am afraid to make any more close relationships as I do not want to be going to any more funerals.

Scary.

Who is next?

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#4 of 23 Old 12-10-2006, 09:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by PixelDust View Post
How lucky you both were to have such a long and strong friendship. I'm so sorry for your loss.


Thank you!


"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#5 of 23 Old 12-10-2006, 10:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by applejuice View Post
I have lost my Aunt, Father, my Husband and now my Best Friend in the last five years. I feel blessed to have known these people, but there is no one to take their place.

I feel like somehow I did something to kill those closest to me.

I feel like a pariah. I am afraid to make any more close relationships as I do not want to be going to any more funerals.

Scary.

Who is next?
I understand. I lost four family members and a friend in the last four years; life can break your heart. It's not your fault and you are not the cause. This is the burden of life and love. I'm sorry I don't have any wisdom to offer, only sympathy.

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Let your life speak. -- George Fox
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#6 of 23 Old 12-10-2006, 10:39 PM
 
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i lost a close friend last yr to a sudden heart attack at age 34. it has been very difficult!

Kelly, :Mama to Kevin, 10/1/05 & Seth, 7/7/06. ::
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#7 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 01:21 PM
 
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to you.

Losing a best friend brings about a unique kind of grief. They have shared in things that even family hasn't sometimes. They are a special blend of family/friend.

My best friend of 22 years (I'm 27) was killed 2 years ago. He was 25. I know how this knocks the wind out of you. You can't recreate that kind of friendship overnight. A piece of yourself is gone with that person.

Just know that you aren't alone. You will move through this.

Molly, mama to my 3 sweet boys.
: : hale:
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#8 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 01:41 PM
 
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#9 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 02:07 PM
 
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Oh applejuice...I am so so sorry for your loss. Wow...29 YEARS of friendship. What a wonderful relationship. You are an incredible soul and such a strong woman. Many blessings your way as you travel the road ahead. It is good to "see" you again and I am sorry it is under these circumstances. Please PM me if you would like. I am here for you.

DC
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#10 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 02:09 PM
 
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i am sorry
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#11 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 05:57 PM
 
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#12 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 06:14 PM
 
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#13 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 10:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you everyone!

I will think of her as I find new places to get latkes, mandelbrodt, and chicken soup. I know how to make them, but really, I do not have the time.

She taught me how to make chopped liver. The secret is chicken fat!

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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#14 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 10:43 PM
 
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I lost my cousin, when she was 36. We were very good friends. I remember thinking that we had shared three decades worth of secrets. No other relationship is likely to ever come close to that for me.

I'm sorry to hear about your best friend.
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#15 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 10:51 PM
 
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You are so fortunate to have had such an incredible friend. I'm very sorry for your loss.

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#16 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 10:56 PM
 
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Peace and blessings mama........please be gentle with yourself.....I too have lost MANY close to me......its a space NO ONE can ever ever fill......think how full THEY were with YOUR love and friendship/companionship. Quite amazing!
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#17 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 11:09 PM
 
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I am so very sorry...

I lost my parents in junior high. And a close aunt when I was in college. It isn't you!!! It is just life. It is hard and unfair sometimes - but I try to think of the time we had.

My best female friend from jr high/high school is going through breast cancer for the fourth time; we are 37. It is so hard.

It helped me to listen to music, and be around babies. Time helps a lot. I'm sorry you are going through this now.
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#18 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 11:20 PM
 
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I am so so sorry.
so young.
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#19 of 23 Old 12-12-2006, 11:33 PM
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Thinking of you.
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#20 of 23 Old 12-13-2006, 01:19 AM
 
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I'm sorry for your loss but happy you had such a great friendship. We have lost 4 friends in the last 1.5 years including my dh's two best friends in a little over a year. It's a bad thing to go through but the friendships were priceless and our lives would not have been as great without them.

Misty, mama to my nurslings William(11/4/02) and Parker(7/13/04).
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#21 of 23 Old 12-13-2006, 07:14 PM
 
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Quote:
I have lost my Aunt, Father, my Husband and now my Best Friend in the last five years. I feel blessed to have known these people, but there is no one to take their place.

I feel like somehow I did something to kill those closest to me.

I feel like a pariah. I am afraid to make any more close relationships as I do not want to be going to any more funerals.

Scary.

Who is next?
Ah applejuice I'm so sorry..... but, better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all. Don't be frightened to have anymore close relationships. You'll always have the happy memories of the people you loved so much.

Be kind to yourself, you've grieved before and are now grieving again. I'm so sorry you're having this emotional pain. Each loss weighs on us, I know and I understand.
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#22 of 23 Old 12-13-2006, 07:26 PM
 
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I am so sorry.
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#23 of 23 Old 12-14-2006, 11:43 PM
 
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My mother just passed away at 58 as well. Its too young. I'm so sorry mama.

Cindy + DH Paul = DS1 (4/26/06), DS2 (11/30/07), DD (12/20/10) & surprise 4th edition coming in April 2014.

Bradley Method Natural Childbirth Educator, Doula, and Breastfeeding Counselor

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