Is it awful to feel this way? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 01-17-2007, 10:14 PM - Thread Starter
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One of my best friend's (over 30 years) husband passed away today...and I'm kinda glad.

Here's the story...he was alcoholic, abusive, nasty and treated her badly in general. We (a close group of old friends) have been trying to get her and her 2 yr old son outa there for the past 4 years. She went as far as to file for divorce last year and he won her back by going into rehab. He started drinking again this past spring and she actually got the courage to move out this past Monday.

She went away on a business trip Tuesday morning and got the call from a friend who went to check on him (nobody had heard from him since Monday night) that they had found him dead on the living room floor.

So far, it appears it was either alcohol poisoning or a heart attack, the autopsy is tomorrow. She is meeting with the state troopers tonight as soon as she gets home from Boston.

When she called to tell me, after my initial shock, I have to admit, I felt kind of relieved. I know that it's over for her and her son now and that she does not have to go through all the ugliness of the divorce (he would not have made it easy) We (the friends) also know that she will not cave and go back to him yet again.

Don't get me wrong, I feel just horrible for her and her son. I know she still loves him. I personally am not gonna miss this SOB. it wrong to be sort of glad about this?

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#2 of 4 Old 01-21-2007, 04:12 AM
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I think it is perfectly understandable to feel the way you do. You felt that she would be better off without him, and now she IS without him.

Ann-Marita. I deleted my usual signature due to, oh, wait, if I say why, that might give too much away. 

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#3 of 4 Old 01-21-2007, 04:29 AM
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Sometimes God pokes her finger in . . .
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#4 of 4 Old 01-21-2007, 11:22 AM
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Not at all. It's understandable that when we witness a loved one's abuse that we should not feel sad at their passing. I wouldn't have felt sad, excpet for her son, and would have flet relieved.

On a similar note, while I am saddened from my husband's nephew's parents at their sson's passing, I am not sad that he has died. He was in so much pain the last couple of years that it is really a relief that he passed. He was ready and actually refused a third transplant.

So, that feeling of relief, while for different reasons is understandable.
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