My brother died Friday, he was 32 yrs old, he died of a drug overdose,(my dad, who i'm not very close to, told me, my brother had gotten into drugs about 1 yr ago, and he had checked himself into a drug rehab, was there for 4-6 weeks, then just checked himself out around mothers day, and my dad didn't know where he was, until he was notifed of his death) and i just can't stand that he is gone. Our parents divorced early on and us kids were split up, so although we loved each other, it was not unusually for us kids to go a few months to years without talking. it had been 5 years since i had talked to him.
I always thought we would eventually get "close" but its so easy to stay apart when you grew up that way. but i feel so gulity for all the time that we lost that we could have been getting closer, and that maybe if we were closer he wouldn't have needed drugs to comfort him.
i hate the thought that he is gone.
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I am so sorry you are struggling with such heartbreak. Whatever you do recognize it was his choice and it isn't 'on' you. You have such a sweet, endearing spirit and I know that if you had any idea of what he was struggling with, you would have been right there.
As Jane so wisely suggested, DO take care of yourself and remember the laughs and those parts of life that sustain us. Take time out for yourself to grieve and love with abandon.
s from a fellow diapering momma!
I'm so very sorry for your loss. I am praying for you and your family.
Please don't feel guilty. There is nothing you could have done to keep him away from drugs. I am a recovering drug addict myself and it is just something inside us. It had nothing to do with how loved or happy I was. The first time is just for fun and then your hooked. For some of us the temptation is to great and we go back to it.
Again, I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry. My brother killed himself about 10 years ago. I finally do not feel guilty anymore, but it took a long time to get here. Intellectually I knew he was sick (he was a drug addict as well) and there was nothing I could have done. Well, it is one thing to *know* something and quite another thing to *feel* it. It will take some time, but the intensity does subside. Until then, allow yourself to get angry and feel whatever you are feeling. We'll be here for you.
I lost my brother 7 years ago. My DH lost his 4 years ago - he shot himself. You are not alone in your grief. Please don't feel guilty, either. We each have a path in Life to follow and you had to let your brother follow his...
Much love to you and your family.
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Mama to DD14 and DS12, both born on MDC.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Surround yourself with love and remember your brother as the good man he was, and keep the good times alive in your heart. Talk about him when you feel the need.
I have a sister who I have been estranged from, who has many problems (drugs, developmental disablilities, lost her 5 mo old son to social services etc)...I find it very hard to relate to her and it's been a long time since we've talked...your story has made me feel the need to contact her and at least try.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss.
It is so hard to lose a loved one and I feel for you and your family. Please take care of yourself and know that the mammas here at mothering are here to listen and lend support to you as you work through your grieving.
I will be sending lots of hugs and prayers your way.
Please do not blame yourself for the lack of closeness between you and your brother.
Please think of your brother now as you very own personal who is there to watch over you and your children.
Please know that some of us have experianced similar circumstances and if there is anything I can do please feel free to pm me. I can share my experiance or just listen.
Please take care of yourself. Your family is in my prayers.
I know deep in your heart that you know there is nothing you could have done to save him. I grew up with two drug/alcoholic parents and I know it's their problum not mine.
When the shock begins to wear off we begin questioning everything. Why did he turn to drugs, why weren't you there, why didn't his friends help him. These are questions that will most likely never be answered.
As time passes, you'll find a place for these questions and also find some peace. You know that you did nothing wrong. The dynamics of every family is different.
How are you handling this with the kids? It's so hard to greive and tell your kids why your so sad. How are you remembering him in your lives?
Please reach out as much as you need to help you work thorugh this.
You'll be in my thoughts.
Sorry. My brother died too, not an overdose but he was really drunk at the time. He had just signed up to go to a court-ordered treatment program. The 2-year anniversary is actually tomorrow.
I sometimes feel guilty, but mostly angry. Looking at it now I don't think there was anything I could have done. He should not have been where he was in the first place.
I was really mad at his friends too because two of them were in the boat with him and they lived. It could have just as easily been one of them. I sometimes think they shouldn't have let him in the boat as drunk as he was, or they should have made sure he had a life jacket, or made a better effort to save him, or that he never should have been involved with them in the first place. I kept telling him he could come live with me and not have to stay with his friends but that's where he was happy. He knew I wouldn't let him drink at my place.
But no matter what his friends were like, he was still not supposed to be there at the time.
I write letters to him sometimes. I know it's not the same, but some people say it can be healing, especially if there was stuff left unsaid.
I have been totally devestated by this. It has taken me until just the last few weeks to start to function.
I am sorry for your loss. It totally sucks. I get so mad at my sister at times. This was totally preventable. While she was not driving, she knew what the guy was like and how he drove. She didn;t have to get in that car that night.
Sorry for unloading on you thread.
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