Today is my son's birthday - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 04-12-2007, 08:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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He lived 5 days. I spent every minute I could of those five days right by his side....loving him..memorizing him..willing him to live. Even tho he was born early and w/a heart defect..it just NEVER occurred to me that we wouldn't bring him home. I just knew he'd be ok..we had waited so long for our son.

Austin was so little. I remember being shocked by his size. I knew he was early and would be very small..I had seen preemies before....but when it is your child it is something else altogether. He was such a fighter! I was/am so proud of my little boy. I treasure our short time together. I can still see him and feel him. There are even times that I a certain smell will take me back to him. It still hurts just as tho I lost him yesterday..but it also feels like eternity since I last held him. :

I feel so blessed to be Austin's momma. He's my perfect beautiful angel.

We went to visit him today..it was nice to spend a few minutes w/my son. My oldest dd wanted to make him a bday cake..so we did that. And I lit his candle this morning..so it's been burning all day. It's been hard tho because I'm pg again this yr on his bday..as I've only been one other time..and I remember it being just as difficult then. It is such a physical reminder of being pg w/him..him growing w/in..feeling him move..just being alive and having that special time w/him. Very bittersweet memories! All in all tho it's been a peaceful day..terribly difficult and sad..but I felt him w/us..and felt a sense of peace surrounding us.




Happy birthday Austin!
Momma & Daddy love you so so much. We'll continue to hold you in our hearts until we can hold you in our arms again.

momma to my girls (9) (7) (4) (3) (7m) &
my little ones held only in my heart 4/12-17/00~8/01-twins~11/04~3/05~11/08
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#2 of 26 Old 04-12-2007, 09:08 PM
 
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i am so sorry,

and Happy Birthday to your precious angel
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#3 of 26 Old 04-12-2007, 10:36 PM
 
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Happy birthday, sweet Austin.
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#4 of 26 Old 04-12-2007, 10:40 PM
 
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Thank you for sharing him with us.

Proud mom to superhero.gifds2 (7/05), angel2.gif ds 1 (born into heaven at 38 weeks 11/03), and 5 more angels angel.gif (4/02) angel.gif (7/10) angel.gifangel.gif (11/10) angel.gif (11/12)

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#5 of 26 Old 04-12-2007, 10:47 PM
 
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Happy Birthday, Austin!


Normal is just a setting on your dryer.
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#6 of 26 Old 04-12-2007, 10:48 PM
 
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Happy Birthday Austin!





Amber, please remember I'm here if you need me!
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#7 of 26 Old 04-12-2007, 11:01 PM
 
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Austin

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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#8 of 26 Old 04-12-2007, 11:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thank you all so much for letting me share my son!

The house is quiet now (at least for abit..it won't be long before someone's up I'm sure!) and the heaviness is starting to settle on my heart. I miss him so much. : :

momma to my girls (9) (7) (4) (3) (7m) &
my little ones held only in my heart 4/12-17/00~8/01-twins~11/04~3/05~11/08
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#9 of 26 Old 04-13-2007, 12:23 AM
 
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Happy Birthday Austin
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#10 of 26 Old 04-13-2007, 12:49 AM
 
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Happy Birthday Austin!

s to you, mama.
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#11 of 26 Old 04-13-2007, 09:15 AM
 
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happy birthday sweet angel
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#12 of 26 Old 04-13-2007, 09:28 AM
 
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What a lucky little baby to have such a loving mama and family. Gentle hugs to you.

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#13 of 26 Old 04-14-2007, 05:15 PM
 
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Happy birthday Austin!

Sending you a ton of 's mama.
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#14 of 26 Old 04-15-2007, 08:52 PM
 
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happy birthday, austin.
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#15 of 26 Old 04-15-2007, 08:55 PM
 
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Happy Birthday Austin!

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#16 of 26 Old 04-15-2007, 10:16 PM
 
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Happy Birthday Austin. to you, Mama.
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#17 of 26 Old 04-16-2007, 01:59 AM
 
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Hugs to you.
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#18 of 26 Old 04-16-2007, 10:18 PM
 
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Happy birthday, baby Austin.

Reneé, 34 year old mom to Antonin 8/04 and Arianna 9/06  (6 weeks) 5/08. Married to Matt since 6/03 .  
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#19 of 26 Old 04-17-2007, 01:26 AM
 
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Austin
Happy Birthday
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#20 of 26 Old 04-17-2007, 04:24 PM
 
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Big hugs to you, i am sorry for your loss. Happy Birthday Austin!
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#21 of 26 Old 04-17-2007, 06:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Time can be so cruel..it feels like forever since I last held my precious son..but it hurts just as much as it did when I let him go. I miss him so so much!

We were blessed w/5 days together. He was so strong..and such a fighter. He had actually been showing signs of some improvement..but then he was just gone. I remember leaving him that day..I had been at his side almost his entire life. But I just needed a little time away from that hospital. So my dh and I traded places..and a friend and I headed home. On the way..my dh called me and told me to come back. We lost him that day. Part of me died w/him....watching him take his last breath in his daddy's arms..holding his lifeless body after he died. :

I am still working thru all the guilt I feel..somehow it just all seems like I didn't do enough. But above all else..I loved my little boy. I just wish that had been enough. I have my faith..and know I will hold him again some day. It's just getting thru the days until then.

There are too many tears now to go on..but thank you for letting me share my son. It still upsets me that everyone has forgotten about him..and most think I should as well. I will never forget my precious angel..NEVER! He is w/me always..tucked safely in my heart.

momma to my girls (9) (7) (4) (3) (7m) &
my little ones held only in my heart 4/12-17/00~8/01-twins~11/04~3/05~11/08
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#22 of 26 Old 04-17-2007, 06:14 PM
 
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we wont forget him either
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#23 of 26 Old 04-17-2007, 06:15 PM
 
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Thank you mama.....for sharing.....
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#24 of 26 Old 04-27-2007, 01:16 PM
 
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i'm so sorry for the loss of your son.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy&4girls
There are too many tears now to go on..but thank you for letting me share my son.
no, thankyou for sharing austin with us. happy belated birthday sweet austin.

much love and big healing hugs to you mama.
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#25 of 26 Old 04-27-2007, 01:43 PM
 
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Happy Birthday Austin!! (((HUGS))) to you mama and you're family. No words can express my feelings for the loss of your son. My thoughts are with you today

M
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#26 of 26 Old 04-27-2007, 11:40 PM
 
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i'm so sorry. i'm glad you had such a memorable sweet little party for him.
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