I am terminating my pregnancy - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 157 Old 06-30-2007, 11:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And I am torn to pieces over it.

I know that is what I have to do. I could and probably would die if I tried to carry this baby to term... and I have another son to think about. But I can't help but feel so guilty.


And of course I can't get a hold of the father, because he is on a 180 day mission overseas.


I don't even know why I'm writing, I feel like everyone else has real children, real friends and real loved ones that have passed... and I am this weepy over a 3 week old embryo? Does that seem silly. I don't know.

ETA: I wanted to make it clear that the procedure is not technically medically necessary. I would go on bed rest for all 9 months, and perhaps be OK... but I am single mom with an active 2 year old, I need my job with no one else really able to care for the boy during the day, I DID kinda think about giving custody to his father for these 9 months, but what if I couldnt get him back. Basically I am just trying to take ownership for the fact that I am choosing this, yes, I have good reasons - but it still sucks and it hurts.
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#2 of 157 Old 06-30-2007, 11:50 PM
 
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Oh mama, you must be in a very tough place.
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#3 of 157 Old 06-30-2007, 11:54 PM
 
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#4 of 157 Old 06-30-2007, 11:55 PM
 
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s mama. What a tough place to be. No judgment here; just support.

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#5 of 157 Old 06-30-2007, 11:56 PM
 
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It's not silly.

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After 4 m/c, our stillheart.gif is here!

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#6 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 12:47 AM
 
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Life doesn't always give us easy choices. The best you can do is make the best choice you can at the time.

Wishing you strength and peace.

-Angela
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#7 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 12:51 AM
 
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sending you strength and wishing for you peace with your decision.
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#8 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 12:54 AM
 
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Not silly at all, Mama. That is not an easy decision. Like you said, you have your son to think about too. Be gentle with yourself. Feel what you need to feel. Do what you need to do
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#9 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 12:56 AM
 
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It's a tough thing to live through, but you're doing it. You're living through it right now. You can get through this.
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#10 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 01:00 AM
 
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So very sorry for you. What a tough choice to make on your own...
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#11 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 01:05 AM
 
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Your child is just as real to you and you have every right to feel your feelings and be
weepy, sad, or any feeling you have. I'm sorry you have such a hard choice. We're
all here with support for you your not at all silly, your human.

-Janna, independent mother of dd, Ms. Mattie Sky born on my 25th birthday, 06*23*2000. My Mama Feb.21,1938-Sept.10,2006
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#12 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 01:53 AM
 
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: Its no small thing. Its real. Its part of every hope and dream and miracle of creation no matter how small. It is hard to understand why things happen to us the way they do and most times not ever able to be understood.

Its ok to grieve
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#13 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 02:06 AM
 
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sending healing and peaceful thoughts your way

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#14 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 02:15 AM
 
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Peace & love to you Mama...
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#15 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 02:17 AM
 
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Let yourself grieve. Some decisions are hard and painful. Remember there have been many other women where you are right now.... you're not alone.
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#16 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 03:30 AM
 
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It must be agonizing that you can't talk to the father. I hope you have other people IRL that you can talk to about it.

I hope your health is OK, and I hope you find a way to grieve this loss because it is a real loss.
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#17 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 10:14 AM
 
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#18 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 10:28 AM
 
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#19 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 10:29 AM
 
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#20 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 10:43 AM
 
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#21 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 10:45 AM
 
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Wishing you peace.

You can find me on Facebook. PM for info.
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#22 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 10:54 AM
 
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#23 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 11:29 AM
 
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#24 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 11:31 AM
 
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Take very good care of yourself. You are not silly, this is a real greif.
HUGS.
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#25 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 11:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaingirl3 View Post
It must be agonizing that you can't talk to the father. I hope you have other people IRL that you can talk to about it.

I hope your health is OK, and I hope you find a way to grieve this loss because it is a real loss.
:

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#26 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 11:53 AM
 
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Many women grieve when terminating a pregnancy, even when it is the best decision for them and their life circumstances. Your feelings are valid and it is perfectly okay to have them. I'm so sorry. Do you have someone IRL who can go with you when you go to the doctor's?
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#27 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 01:08 PM
 
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Wishing you support & love. It's OK to grieve.
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#28 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 01:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by muckemom View Post
I know that is what I have to do. I could and probably would die if I tried to carry this baby to term...
A lot of to you, mama.

You know, sometimes doctors just really don't know what they are talking about. Sometimes it's their interventions that cause problems.
I personally know two women who were told that it's very risky for them to carry a baby and they may die and yet both of them ended up being pg twice having healthy term babies. You just really never know if the doctors know what they are talking about, yk.
Maybe if you could post and describe your condition on few MDC boards (for example, "health and healing", "I'm pregnant") you could get some very good info since many ladies here know by far more than doctors do.

yulia.
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#29 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 01:43 PM
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#30 of 157 Old 07-01-2007, 01:54 PM
 
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This has to be so hard. I would grieve too, but I'd do the same - my existing children need me.

Sending you peace, mama.

Mama to DS (8) and DD (7) Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself." And the London Underground is not a political movement.

 

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